Very Funny Chutkule jokes2017

1. Kathghere M~ein Khade Chor Se Judge Ne Kaha,
2. Ajeeb Baat Hai Jab Main Wakil Tha To Tumne Cycle Churai,
3. Aur Jab Main Sarkari Wak~il Bana To Tumne Ek Bike Churai,
4. Aaj Jab Main Judge Ban Gaya Hu To Tumne Ek Car Churai,
5. Akhir Aisa Kyon?,
6. Hujur Wajah Bahut Saaf Hain Aapke Sath~ Maine Bhi Tarkki Ki Hain. 
7. 
   
8. 
   
9. 
   
10. ========================================
11. Pappu School Se Rote Hue Ghar Aaya,
12. Maa Ne Pucha – Kya Baat Hain Rota Kyon Hain?
13. Weh Hichkiya Leta ~Hua Bola,
14. Guru Ji To Hath Me Kitab Le~kar Padate Hain,
15. Or Hum Yaad N Kare To Bhi Pitte Hain. 
16. 
    
17. 
    
18. ========================================
19. 
    
20. Papa : Tumhar~i Class Me Sabse Zyada Hosiyar Bacha Kon Hai,
21. Bete : Deepika~ Hai Papa Ji,
22. Papa : Weh Kaise?,
23. Bete : Weh Class Mein Itni Safai Se Nakal Karti Hai,
24. Ki Aaj Tak Pakad Mein Nahi Aayi. 
25. 
    
26. ========================================
27. 
    
28. Do Dost Dono Ek Hotel Me Pahuch Gaye,
29. Jab Waiter Unke Pass Aaya To Sart Ke Hisab Se,
30. Use Do Gilas Paan~i Lane Ke Liye Keh Diya,
31. Pani Aane Par Sart Ke Hisab Se A~b Dusre Ki Bari Thi,
32. To Usne Order Diya- Waiter Menu Lao Jab Menu Aa Gaya To Fir,
33. Pehle Wale Ne Kaha-Mere Liye Ek Cup Coffe Lao Or,
34. Ise Laat Maar Ke Bahea Nikal Do. 
35. 
    
36. 
    
37. ========================================
38. 
    
39. 
    
40. 
    
41. Ek Seth Ko Yumraj Ke Dut Lene Aaye,
42. Or Use Le Jakar Yumraj Ke Samne Khada Kar Diya,
43. Yumraj Ne Pucha Tum Kahan Rehna Chahte Ho,
44. Sawrag Mein Ya Nara~k Me?,
45. Seth Ji Bade Soch Mein Pad Gaye,
46. Kaafi Sochne Ke Baad Jawab Diya Jaha,
47. Do Chaar Paise Ka Fayda Hoga. 
48. 
    
49. 
    
50. ========================================
51. 
    
52. Pati : Suhagraat Aaj Se Tumhari Har Chij Main Istemaal Karunga,
53. Patni : Accha To Wo Plastic Wala Arraam Se Lena,
54. Bahut Badha Ha~i Tumhari G**Nd Fat Jayegi. 
55. 
    
56. 
    
57. ========================================
58. 
    
59. Shadi Ke Baad Suhagraat Ke Liye Pati Aur Uski Patnim,
60. Apne Kamre Mein Ga~ye, Patni Araam Se Bed Pe Baith Gayim
61. Aur Pati Cadbury Chocolate Apne Aujaar Par Lagane Lage,
62. Patni Ye Dekhkar Boli, "Kya Kar Rahe Ho?" 
63. Pati : Subh Kaam Karne Se Pehle Kuch Meetha Ho Jaaye. 
64. 
    
65. ========================================
66. Ek Khubsurat Ladki Patli Gali Se Jaa Rahi Thi, 
67. Raste Mein Ek Saand Khada Tha,
68. Usne Waha Khade Santa Se Pucha,
69. Bhaiye Ji Ye Sand Marta To Nahi Na,
70. Santa : Gaaye Ke To Marta H Aapki Pata Nahi,
71. Marega Ya Nahi. 
72. 
    
73. 
    
74. ========================================
75. 
    
76. 
    
77. 
    
78. Ek Aadmi Badhi Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Office Se Ghar Gaya,
79. Wife : (Pya~r Se) Suno Ji, Kal Mere B'day Pe Mujhe Saadi De Doge,
80. Pati Gusse Se : G**Nd Mara ?
81. Wife : Fir To Do Lungi. 
82. 
    
83. ========================================
84. 
    
85. Ek Sardar Apni Biwi Ke Liye Bra Kharidne Gaya,
86. Dukandar : Kya Size~ H Sardar Ji ?
87. Sardar : Assi Size To Laana Bhul Gaya,
88. Par Yu Samjo Pakdu To Anda Chodu To Omlette.
89. 
    
90. ========================================
91. Pathan Suhagraat~ Par Bola, "Bahut Majar Aaya Begam",
92. Badi Hifajat Se Sambhala Tha Aapne Isko,
93. Begam : Aapki Khatir Puri Jindagi G**Nd Marwa,
94. Ke Kaam Chalaya Hai. 
95. 
    
96. 
    
97. ========================================
98. 
    
99.  
100. 
     
101. 
     
102. Ek Shadi Shuda Insaan Ko Karne Ka Bada Mood Tha,
103. Wo Office Aate Waqt Ghar Pe C*Nd*M Le Aaya,
104. Tabhi Uski Biwi Ne Use Utha ~Ke Pucha "Ye Kitne Ka Hai"
105. Pati : 30 Ruppe Ke 3,
106. Patni : Oye Ram ! Mehangayi To Dekho Jab Main 8th Mein Thi To,
107. 10 Ke 3 Aate The. 
108. 
     
109. 
     
110. ========================================
111. 
     
112. Teacher : Sabse Zyada Calcium Kiske Dudh Mein Hota Hai,
113. Santa : 18 Saal Ki~ Ladki Ke Dudh Mein,
114. Teacher : Wo Kaise Batao ?
115. Santa : Wo Dudu Peene Lagte Hi Jism Ke Jis Hisse,
116. Mein Haadi Nahi Hoti Usme Bhi Jaan Aa Jaati Hai. 
117. 
     
118. 
     
119. ========================================
120. 
     
121. 
     
122. Rajender : Guru Ji Aap Mujhe Sanskrit Sikha Do,
123. Guru Ji : Kyu Kya Karoge Iska,
124. Rajender : Ye Bhagwano Ki Bhasa H Swarg Mein Jaunga To Jarurat Padegi,
125. Guru Ji : Are Tum Nark Mein Gaye To,
126. Rajender : Aap Tnsn Na Lo Behan Ki Tatt, Punjabi To Aati Hi Hai. 
127. 
     
128. 
     
129. ========================================
130. 
     
131. Sonu : Tum Niche Ke Baal Kaise Saaf Karte Ho,
132. Monu : Razaor Se Aur Tum,
133. Sonu : Jarurat Hi Nahi,
134. Monu : Kyu ???
135. Sonu : Biwi Baat Hi Aisi Krti Jaante Sulag Jaati Hai.
136. 
     
137. 
     
138. 
     
139. ========================================
140. Santa Ghar Ke Samne Baitha Roo Raha Tha Ki,
141. Banta Udhar Se Nikla O~r Santa Se Rone Ka Karn Puchne Laga,
142. Santa – Aaj Subah Mera Kutta Mar Gaya,
143. Banta – Dekho Meri Dadi Ko Mere Ek Saptah Ho Gaya Hai,
144. Main Kaha Rota Hoon,
145. Santa – Tumhe Apni Dadi Ko Mere Kutte Ke Pille,
146. Ki Umar Se Paal Pos Kar Badha To Nahi Karna Padha Tha. 
147. 
     
148. 
     
149. 
     
150. ========================================
151. 
     
152. Jis Din Aap Mere Ghar Aayi Uss Din Hi,
153. Mere Yaha Chori Ho Gayi,
154. Ek Pati Ne Apni Saas Se Kaha,
155. Tabhi Pass Khada Unka Chota Ladka Bola,
156. Musibat Kabhi Akeli Nahi Aati Hai Daadi. 
157. 
     
158. ========================================
159. 
     
160. Press Ke Karmchari Ne Haal Hi Mein Hua Pardhan,
161. Se Interview Ke Waqt Pucha Rajniti Mein Aane Ki,
162. Siksha Aapko Kaise Mili ?,
163. Apni Lambi Berojgari Ke Baad. 
164. 
     
165. 
     
166. ========================================
167. 
     
168. Shopkeeper Ne Customer Se Pucha Apko Kya Chahiye,
169. Customer : 10 Chuhe Daniya.
170. Shopkeeper : Kya Aap Unhe Apne Sath Le Jayenge.
171. Customer : Nahi Aap Apni Dukan Ka Pata De Dijie, 
172. Mai Chuho Ko Yahi Bej Dunga. 
173. 
     
174. 
     
175. ========================================
176. 
     
177. Preeti – Maa Pitaji Ke Sar Par Baal Kyon Nahi Hain,
178. Maa – Beti Isliye Ki Weh Samjhdar Hain,
179. Preeti – Maa Tumhare Sar Par Baal Itne Bhade Kyon Hain,
180. Maa – Kyonki ................ Chali Ja Yahan Se Bakwas Mat Kar.
181. 
     
182. ========================================
183. Har Samundar Mein Sahil Nahi Hota,
184. Har Jahaj Mein Misail Nahi Hoti,
185. Agar Dhirubhai Ka ~Sapna Nahi Hota,
186. To Tere Jaiso Ke Pass Mobile Nahi Hota
187. 
     
188. 
     
189. ========================================
190. 
     
191. Kamla Apni Behan Ke Sath Cinema Dekhne Gayi,
192. Waha Do Seat Khali Thi Par Alag-Alag Line Mein Ek Ke Piche Ek,
193. We Sath Bethna Chah Rahi Thi, So Usne Bagal Wale Ladke,
194. Ko Aankho Hi Aankho Mein Jhan~k Kar Phir Himmat Kar Kaha,
195. Maaf Kijiye Kya Aap Akele Hai Bina Apni Gardan Mode Muh Ke,
196. Aage Hath Rakhkar Ladka Bola, Aaj Nahi Meri Badi Behan Mere Sath Hai. 
197. 
     
198. 
     
199. ========================================
200. 
     
201. Judge- Tumne Tank Ke Licence Ke Liye Arji Di Hai,
202. Pyarelal- Ji Haan Sarkar,
203. Judge- Tum Tank Kaha Chlaoge,
204. Pyarelal- Sarkar ,Baat Darasal Yeh Hai Ki Phichle Saal Beti Ki,
205. Shadi Par Maine 50 Man Chini Ke Permit Ki Mang Ki Thi Lekin,
206. Permit 5 Mann Ka M~illa Tha, Maine Socha K~i Agar Mein Tank,
207. Ka Permit Manguga To Kam Se Kam Gun Ka Permit To Mil Hi Jayega,
208. Kahan Tak Kam Karenge Hujur. Ab To Dena Hi Padega. 
209. 
     
210. 
     
211. ========================================
212. 
     
213. 
     
214. Netaji- Yaar Kya Kar Rahe Ho,
215. Dost- Nakshe Mein Apna Desh Dundh Raha Hu,
216. Netaji- Hahah Dundte Raho,
217. Desh To Sasura Apni Jeb Mein Pada Hai. 
218. 
     
219. 
     
220. ========================================
221. 
     
222. Court Mein Judge Sahab Ne Jor Se Kaha–Tumhe Adalat Mein,
223. Kuch Aur Pesh Karna Hai Ya Advocate Badalna Hai,
224. Apradhi- My Lord Mere ~Pass Aa Kya Baccha Hai,
225. Jo Kuch Mere Pass Tha Weh Sab Advocate Sahab Ko Pesh Kar Chuka Hu.
226. 
     
227. ========================================
228. Chinki Ne Pucha - Dadi Ji Aap Badam Khati Hai Kya, 
229. Nahi Beti , Mer~e Saare Daant Jo Gir Gaye Hai,
230. Tab Thik Hai, Ye Badam Rakh Lijiye, 
231. Mein School Se Lotne Par Le Lungi. 
232. 
     
233. 
     
234. ========================================
235. 
     
236. Kiryana Ki Shop Ke Bahar Bhut Lambi Line Lagi Hui Thi,
237. Sabhi Bachain Thi ~Ki Shop Kab Khuleg~i Tabhi Ek Aadmi Tezi Se,
238. Aage Badha Par Isse Pahle Ki Veh Char Kadam Chalta Bhid Usse Pakadkar,
239. Piche Dakhel Deti Pachvi Baar Issi Tarah Pi~che Dhkel Diye Jane Ke Baad,
240. Weh Chilane Laga- Thik Hai Bhad Mein Jao, Aaj Mein Bhi Shop Nahi Kholta.
241. 
     
242. 
     
243. 
     
244. ========================================
245. 
     
246. Nurse Ne Pyarelal Se Kha – Mubarak Ho Bacha Ho Gaya Hai,
247. Pyarelal- Oh, Are Yeh To B~taiye Ki Bacha Razar Istemal Karega Ya Lipstick. 
248. 
     
249. ========================================
250. 
     
251. Chintu- Papa Ji Aaj Maa Ne Aapka Sara Dudh Pi Liya,
252. Papaa- Koi Nahi Kal Mein Unka Saara Dudh Pee Lunga,
253. Chintu- Tab To Chota Bh~ai Bhukha Hi Mar Jayega. 
254. 
     
255. 
     
256. ========================================
257. 
     
258. Boss - Tumne To Yeh Kah Kar Chutti Li Thi Ki Tumhe Apne Dentist,
259. Ke Paas Jana Hai Lekin Maine Tumhe Cinema Hall Mein Dekha Tha,
260. Lady - Ji Sir, Mera Mangetar Den~tist Hi To Hai. Isme Meri Kya Galti Hai.
261. 
     
262. ========================================
263. Chinki- Mummy Dulhan Ke Bageir Bhi Shadi Hoti Hai,
264. Maa- Nahi Beti,~
265. Chinki –Par Mama Ji Ki Shadi Ke Saman Ki Jo List Didi Ne Banai Hai,
266. Ussme Dulhan Ka Naam To Hai Hi Nahi 
267. ========================================
268. 
     
269. Chunil~al Jee Ka Kutta Chori Ho Gaya To Unhone Akhbar Mein Add Di,
270. Mera Kutta Bhag Gaya Hai Ya Chori Ho Gaya Hai Uska Rang Bhura Hai,
271. Aur Naam Rambo Hai, Teen Din ~Baad Usse Doore Padne Shuru Honge,
272. Agle Din Kutta Chunilal Ke Ghar Ke Bahar Khada Mila. 
273. 
     
274. 
     
275. ========================================
276. 
     
277. 
     
278. Shaadi Karna Aisa Hi Hai Jaise Hotel Mein Khana Khana,
279. Aap Shuru Mein Ap~ni Pasand Ki Chijo Ke Liye Table Par,
280. Nigahe Padne Par Lagta Hai, Tujhe Yah Chij Leni Chaiye The.
281. 
     
282. 
     
283. ========================================
284. 
     
285. Bantu- Maa Humare Naye Padosi Kanjush Hai,
286. Maa Kyu Beta Tumhe Aisa Kyu Laga,
287. Bantu- Aaj Unka Ladka~ Sirf 1 Rupey Ka Sikka Nigal Gaya Tha, 
288. Usse Nikalwane Ke Liye Do-Do Doctor Bulwaye. 
289. 
     
290. 
     
291. ========================================
292. 
     
293. 
     
294. Chudi Wala Rail Ke Dibbe M~ein Do Chudi Ke Bundal Apne,
295. Sath Le Kar Ja Raha Tha, Ek Police Wala Udhar Se Nikala,
296. Aur Ek Bandal Par Jor Se Danda Maar Kar Pucha
297. 
     
298. ========================================
299. Suresh Naresh Se- Film Banane Ke Baad Aajkal Kya Kar Rahe Ho,
300. Naresh- Aajkal Furnitur~e Bech Raha Hu,
301. Suresh- Tab To Bada~ Fayda Ho Raha Hoga,
302. Naresh- Ji Haan, Apne Ghar Ka Bechne Mein Faida Hi Hai. 
303. 
     
304. 
     
305. ========================================
306. Chinki Apne Papa Ke Sath–Sa~th Samachar Dekhte–Dekhte,
307. Bor Ho Gayi Thi, Phir Ek Din Apne Papa Se Boli-Samachar Kab Khtam Honge,
308. Papa- 9 Baje,
309. Chinki- Nahi Papa, Mein Punch Rahi Hu Jaise Buniyad Khatam Hui,
310. Mahabharat Khatam Hua, Waise Hi S~amachar Kab Khatam Honge. 
311. 
     
312. 
     
313. ========================================
314. 
     
315. 
     
316. Bhikhari Ki Union Mein Kuch Bhikari Apna Sujhav De Rahe The,
317. Ek Ne Kaha- Police Hu~m Bhikariyo Ko Bhut Pres~han Karti Hai,
318. Humhe Sarkar Ki Aur Se Bhikh Mangne Ka Licence Milna Chaiye,
319. Dusra Bola- Sarkar Ko Bhikariyo Ko Paki Dukane,
320. Deni Chiye Taki Hume Bhikh Mangne Idhar-Udhar N Jana Pade. 
321. 
     
322. 
     
323. ========================================
324. 
     
325. 
     
326. 
     
327. Kamla Ne Apni Punjabi Sheali Santo Se Ka~ha– Yaar Tum,
328. Logo Mein Har Har Baat Ko Do Baar Kyun Bola Jata Hai,
329. Jaise Picture-Vikchar D~ekha Khana-Vana Khao, Chai-Vai Peeya,
330. Santo Ne Safai Dete Hua Kaha-Hum To Aisa Nahi Bolta,
331. Haan Jaat- Vaat Jaruri Bolta Hai. 
332. 
     
333. 
     
334. ========================================
335. 
     
336. Pyarelal- Yaar Aaj Gaddi Ki Letring Mein Meri Ghadi Aur Batua Gir Gaya,
337. Chunilal-Are Tumhe To Zanj~eer Khichne Chiye Thi,
338. Pyarelal-Khichi To Kai Baar Lekin Har Baar Pani Hi Pani Nikala.
339. 
     
340. 
     
341. ========================================
342. 
     
343. Isme Kya Hai,
344. Bechara Chudi Wala Dukhi Hokar Bola- Hawaldar Ji,
345. Ek Danda Is Dusar~e Par Aur Mar Dijiye, Tab Inme Kuch Nahi Rahega.