One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man that lives in alcohol, will die from alcohol too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made to make men glad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They reckon that beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After a few too many I talk shit and can’t drive!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I drink therefore I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine is bottled poetry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the wine is in, the wit is out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drinking and driving mix only when you’re mixed up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcoholism isn’t a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have made an important discovery…that alcohol,taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They who drink beer will think beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I drink to make other people interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m not a heavy drinker, I can someti##mes go for hours without touching a drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One reason I don’t drink is that I wa##nt to know when I am having a good time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, good ol’ trustwo##rthy beer. My love for you will never die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Win# men than the sea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So much the wo##rse for those who fear wine, for it is becau##se they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from t##heir hearts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone ##knows that drunkards and lovers have a protecting diety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People who don’t drink are afra##id of revealing themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He that drinks fast pays slow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Of all meat in the ##world drink g##oes d##own the best.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man that lives in alcohol, will die from alcohol too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made to make men glad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They reckon that beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After a few too many I talk shit and can’t drive!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I drink therefore I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine is bottled poetry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the wine is in, the wit is out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drinking and driving mix only when you’re mixed up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alcoholism isn’t a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have made an important discovery…that alcohol,taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They who drink beer will think beer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I drink to make other people interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m not a heavy drinker, I can someti##mes go for hours without touching a drop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One reason I don’t drink is that I wa##nt to know when I am having a good time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, good ol’ trustwo##rthy beer. My love for you will never die.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Win# men than the sea.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So much the wo##rse for those who fear wine, for it is becau##se they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from t##heir hearts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone ##knows that drunkards and lovers have a protecting diety.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
People who don’t drink are afra##id of revealing themselves.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He that drinks fast pays slow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Of all meat in the ##world drink g##oes d##own the best.
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