Santa Class Me Has Raha Tha
.
1 Ladki Boli STaND UP Koun Ho Tum??
.
Santa:Tum Koun Ho?
.
Ladki: Mai MONITOR Hun.
.
Santa: Ha.ha..
TeRE Din Gaye pagli...
ab laptop or LCD ka zamana hai.
Santa caught by a Tribe
Santa and his friends are caught by a tribe.
.
Tribesmen take them to their king.
.
King: In sabko bandi bana do
.
Santa pleaded:
.
Nahi merko banda hi rehnedo. plzzzz
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Santa with two ladies in Lift
Maha fadu joke :-P:-P :-D:-D
.
.
Santa in Lift..
.
.
Girl mehnga perfume laga k lift me gayi,
.
SANTA ko akad k boli Cobra perfume, Rs.6000..:)
.
2nd girl ayi aur boli Jasmeen perfume"Rs.7000 .. :)
.
Achanak lift ruk gayi or khuch smell aayi
dono ladkiyon ne apna naak pakda
.
SANTA
ko dekhne Lagi... :@
.
SANTA with smile:- "Muli" 14 Rupey Kilo..
Fighter Pilot Santa
Fighter pilot santa
kamyabi k baad apna jahaaz
land karne pe bohut khush hua..
.
.
Niche utarne pe ground staff ne
usey hatho hath lia
aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage..
.
.
Santa (fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke
4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or
1 tank ko mar giraya...
.
.
Ground Staff: Wo sab to theek hai lekin
sir ji apne 1 galti kar di..
.
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Santa :Kaun si galti?
.
.
Ground Staff: Bas aap isi khushi me
Pakistan me hi
land kar gaye hain...
Police arresting Santa
Santa Road pe potty kar raha tha
Police ne usse pakar liya..
.
.
.
.
Jab usko le jane lage tu Santa bola
kiss binah pr mujhe le ja rahe ho
.
ghan-chakkaro
.
kam se kam Saboot to utha lo..
Ghar Ke Niche Su-Su
Santa 1 ghar ke niche su-sukar raha tha..
.
.
upar se 1 aurat boli: dikhta nahi hai...
humari diwar hai..
.
.
.
Santa bola: thoda side se dekho..
..dikh jayega... :
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Sexy lady in the Market
Once SANTA saw a very sexy lady
in the market
and thought-
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
Kash ye meri MAA hoti
to main bhi itna sundar hota.
Pathan Pappu aur Santa
3 log airpot p khde
apni apni biwiyo ka intezar kr rhe te....:)
.
Pathan- vo dekho hmari shaahzadi aa rhi h....:>
.
.
.
Pappu - vo dekho hmari bhi nawabzadi aa rhi h...:p
.
.
.
.
Santa- vo dekho hmari bhi haramzadi aa rhi h
Santa with a P.H.D
During a job interview:
.
Manager: What's the highest level of education
you obtained?
.
Santa: P.H.D
.
Manager: Great! So that means you have a
Doctor's degree...
.
Santa: Wellll, No... That means
Passed High-school with Difficulties (P.H.D.)
Who was Chandragupta Maurya..
Teacher : Who was chandragupta maurya...???
.
.
.
.
.
Santa : I think he was brother of
.
.
.
.
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GANPATI BAPPA MAURYA
Santa: Women are like microwaves.
Banta: How? Because they cook food?
Santa: No. Because they are hazardous to our health
Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai
Ek Ladki ki t-shirt pe likha tha:
“Amul the taste of india”
Ye dekh ke..
Santa ne apne pant pe likhwaya:
“KurKure tedha hai per mera hai”
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IODEX
Santa: Baaju k ghar se IODEX maang ke la.
Wife: Wo log nhi denge.
Santa: Haan! Bade kanjoos or kamine log hai Chal Apni hi almaari se nikaal le!
Banta for a post of Detective
A Banta on an interview for the
post of detective was asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Banta - Thanks for giving me the job,
I will investigate.
Santa's with a Stranger
Santa : "I saw my Wife going 2 a movie
with a strange Man."
Friend : "Did u follow them inside?"
"No yaar," replied santa
"I had already SEEN the Movie !"
First man to be kissed
Santa 2 girlfriend: Darling, a
m I the first man you ever kissed?
Girl: Of course, you r.
But, why do all men ask
the same silly question?
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Santa Orders Chicken in a Hotel
“ Santa goes to a hotel and orders chiken
Waiter: french or spanish?
Santa: jehra margi le aa,
main kehra gallan karniya ne
buurrraaaaa! ”
Santa wearing Mosquito net
In battle Santa was wearing
mosquito net instead of bulletproof Jacket
Banta askd why?
Santa replied:"jad machar nahi es
wicho lang skda ta phir goli ki hai"
Free gift with Mineral Water
Banta enters shop & shouts
where is my free gift with this mineral water?
Salesman: Iske saath koi gift nahi hai.
Banta: Oye,ispe likha hai, bacteria free...
One a Donkey kicked a Banta
Once a donkey kickd a Banta n ran away.
Banta ran 2 catch d donkey,
he saw a zebra n strtd beatng it n said
"track suit pehen ke aaya to
mai pahchanunga nahi kya
Santa dies due to lighting
and his dead body is found smiling.
God asks Why?
He replies, “Mainu laaga ke
koi meri photo khich raha hai.”
Past Tense of "THINK'
A friend asks SANTA how was ur exam?
SANTA: It was ok but i couldn't
answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought &
finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
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WASH BASIN
SANTA goes 2 a hotel &
after eating he goes 2 wash his hands,
but start washing the basin
Manager:What r u doing?
SANTA: U have written here "WASH BASIN."
Santa with his lunch box
Santa opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road… why?
Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from office.
Sabko bewakoof bana raha hoon
SANTA kadhai leke bich
raaste khana pakane baitha.
Kadhai khali dekh k logo ne pucha
“saNTAJI kya bana rahe ho?”
saNTA bola,
“Sabko bewakoof bana raha hoon.”
Banta buys a Bottle of Pepsi
Santa asks banta to bring a pepsi.
Banta brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??
Ans: Tendulkar is an opener
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An Englishman at Lunch
Santa had called an Englishman for lunch.
There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this? s
Santa didn't know English, he said
"Milk sleeping in night,
morning becomes tight"
Labour Room
Santa kept a labour to get assitance in agriculture field.
one day the labour became ill. what did Santa do then?
Ans: He took him to the labour room
of the local hospital so that he can be treated there
Powercut in Delhi
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.
Worst affected was Delhi Metro station
where families of Santa &
Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
Santa triying to kill a bird
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building
and dropped it from there to die.
Bantaji went 2 bank 4 account opening.
He took 1 form and went
to Delhi 4 filling up the form.
Do u no y ? Bcoz in the form
he saw "write in capital"!!!
Santa swallowed a Key
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key,
now I have lost it too.
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Application form for a Job
Santa was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column Salary Expected :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
Santa lost a Bet on a Match
Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened ?" asked Santa .
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between
India and England was being shown live on TV.
I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
" Yaar, I bet on the highlights too..
Santa crying in a Bar
Santa bar me ro raha tha.
Bar owner: kyon ro rahe ho?
santa bola oye kya karoon
jis ladki ka naam bhoolna chahta hu
uska naam Yaad nahi raha hai
Chor Santa Ka Mobile lekar bhaga
Ek Chor Santa Ka Mobile lekar bhag gaya...
Santa bola bhag le bhag le,
Charger to mere Pass hai!!!
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Paida Mumbai me aur Padai Chennai me
Santa singh: me paida mumbai me hua
magar padai chennai me ki.
Banta singh: phir to school
aane jaane me bahut der lagti hogi.
Santa Singh calling Chandigarh
Santasingh dials a no..
A girl receives it.
Santa: who r u?
Girl: seeta here..
santa oye maine to
chandigarh phne kiya tha,
ye Ayodhya kaise pahunch gaya?
Santa Daru Pite Waqt
Santa (biwi se) peg banane ke baad,
...."pee isey."....
BiWi: Chheee! Kadwa hai!"
Santa Aur tu soc@hti hai ke
main roz mazey karta hoon???
Ek Litre Gaayi Ka Dhoodh
Santa: ek litre gaayi ka dhoodh dena..
Banta: lekin tumhara bartan to bhut chhota hai..
Santa: Theek hai to fir bakri ka de do.
Banta: Shirt K Liye Badhiya Kapda Dikhana?
SaLeSMan: PLAIN Main Dikhau?
Banta: Hawaai Jahaaj Tak Jane Ki Kya Jarurat Hai?
Yahi Dikha Dona.
STD call to Punjab
Santa wanted to do a STD call to Punjab,
he wanted to save @money.
What did he do? He went to Punjab
and made a Local call.
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Santa's Mobile no.changed
Santa sent S@MS 2 all friends
"Oi, My mobile no. has been changed.
Previously it ws nokia1100, Now its nokia2300.
Hereafter send msgs 2 my new mobile!
Santa on seing Pappu's report card
Do thappad marne chahiye
Santa: Itne kam marks?
Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa,
chalo maine us saale master ka
ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa Caught for Speeding
Santa was caught for speeding
and went before the judge.
The judge: What will you take..
30 days or R@s 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Kutte Te Essay
Master: Mein tenu kutte te
essay likhan nu keha si,
Likh k@e kyu nahi liyanda ?
Santa: Ki karda master g,
jidan he mein kutte te
Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!
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Police Nick-named
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed
"The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats & beats.
1 kiss ka 50 Rupaye
Santa singh to his friend:
Yar bari mushkil main hoon
mairi bivi mujh say 1 kiss ka 50RS laiti hay
friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay
doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.
BANTA running with his pregnent wife
BANTA was running with his pregnent wife,
who was about to deliver,
when SANTA asked him,
O Banta singh, o@ye woti nu ais haal vitch
le ke kithey puj rya vain,
banta singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan,
sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.
Egyptian mummy's accident case
Santa banta looking at Egyptian mummy.
santa:Look @so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case.
Banta: Aaho, truck numbar bhi likha hai.
Banta going with his sister,
Some shouts "Oye, ,mashoka le ker kahan nikle"
banta gets furious & slap him & says" Oye.
mashoka hogi tero. Meri to behan hai"!
Banta Singh checking Car Indicator
Santa singh driving a car,
puts on the indicator and
asks the other to check if it is working.
Banta singh: puts his head out and says...
yes..no..yes..no..yes..no...!!!!
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What virtue would I be showing?
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man
beating a donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
Santa: Brotherly love.
Shortest Joke?
Q. WHICH IS THE SHORTEST JOKE?
A. SANTA SINGH AND BANTA SINGH PLAYING CHESS.
Banta had a Christmas dream last night
Lil Banta: I dreamed last night
dat u gave me R@s 500 for Christmas.
Banta Singh: Well, as you've
been a good boy lately,
you may keep it.
If you broke your arm in two places
First-aid teacher: What would you do
if you broke your arm in two places?
Lil Banta: I'd never g@o to either place again!
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Kya Teri Chaddi Mein Hole Hai
Santa- kya teri chaddi mein hole hai??
Banta- nahi Santa-toh tu pehenta kaise hai??
Meri Nahi Toh Kisi Ki Nahi
Santa: Yaar agar ye ladki meri na hui
to mein isse kisi or ki bhi nahi hone dunga.
Banta: Haan yaar tu sahi keh raha hai....
Par agar ye teri ho gayi to tu sabki hone dega???
Izzat Se Aa Bapu
Santa: A Bapu Idhar aa.
Santa's Mom: Beta Bapu Ko Izzat se bulao..
Santa : Ok, A Bapu Izzat se Idhar aa.
Santa smoking in front of Father
Santa was smokin@g in front of his father.
Mom-- oye, papa k samne smoking kr rah h,
santa-- papa hi to h,
petrol pump thodi h jo jal jayega..
Santa, Banta Dono Bhai Same Class Me The
Madam- Tum Don@o Ne Father Name Alag Kyu Likha
Both- Madam Tusi Fir Kahoge Nakal MaarLi, Isliye
Opposite of Aachhar
Ultimate logic of Santa Banta:
What is the opposite of 'Aachaar'?
Santa: Onion.
Banta: How?
Aachaar = Pickle = Pee+kal.
So opposite of 'Pee+kal' is 'Pee+aaj' = Onion
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Amrud Me Kida
Santa Amrud bech rha tha
Banta- Agar amrud me kida nikla to?
Santa-To s@aaf baat hai...
Pahle Hi Bol dete hai
hum kide ke alag Paise Lenge
Santa Daru Pee K
Santa daru pee k tala kholne laga,
hath kapne ki vajah se tala nhi khula,
Banta- mai khol du,
Santa- ma@i khol lunga,
tu ghar ko pakad,
sala bahut hil@ raha hai.
Tense K Prakaar
Teacher:santa tense kitne prakar k hote h
Santa:3
T: very.gud. example batao
Santa:kal@ apki beti ko dekha.
Aaj pyar krta hu.
Kal bhaga k le Jaynga
Flying saucers
Banta: What is the best way
to see flying saucers?
Santa: Pinch the waitress.
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Santa Banta fighting with a Doctor
Santa Banta hosptl@ me ek doctor Se lar rahe the.
doctor:Kya hua?
Banta:Doctr ne operation me orignal Chize
nikal kar china ka dal diya.
T.V Cabel Se Bache Bigad Jate Hain
Santa:doctor ne kha tha k T.V cabel
Se bache khar@ab hote hai aur parhai
B nhi krte,mene cabel katva diya
Batna: Good?
Santa: Ab humne dish TV laga liya
English me jhopdi ko kya kehte h?
Santa-English me jhopdi ko kya kehte h?
Banta- Hut
Santa- English aati nahi to daant te Q ho
Santa ki Mardangi..!!!
Santa: Kal Ek Admi Aurat Ko Peet Raha Tha.
Maine Kaha Mard Se Lado.
Banta: Fir?
Santa: Jab Mujhe Hosh Aaya 2 Main Hospital Me Tha
Doctor :- Tuhaadi patni sirf 24 ghante di mehmaan hai..
SANTA :- Koi gal nai Doctor sahib..
jithe 24 Saal kad le othe 24 ghante hor sahi..
Santa as a Maths teacher
Santa Hotel me Khali Katroi me Roti dubo k kaha rha tha
Waiter- Ye kaise@ khana kaha rhe ho?
Santa- Maine math ka teacher hu daal suppose kari hui hai
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Ghaas Jaise Baal
Santa- Apne Bal ko to Dekho,
Jaise Ghas @Ugi Ho.
Banta- Tabhi toh Main Soch Raha Tha
Ki Mere Pas Ye Jaanwar Kyo Khada Hai.?
Santa ko raat me cigarette peene ka man kiya
Santa ko raat me cigarette peene ka man kiya.
sab taraf machis dhoonda, par kahi nhi mila
.
.
aakhir me nirash hoke candle bujha k so gaya..
Santa's Wife never Argue
Santa: My wife and I never argue.
Banta: Not even when she is right?
Santa: I don`t know. That has never happened with me.
Lady In Church And A Girl In The Bath Tub
Banta: What is the difference between a lady in church
and a girl in the bath tub?
Santa: The lady`s@ heart is full of hope and
the girl`s body is full of soap.
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Santa Aur Banta Baraat Me...
SANTA & BANTA Ek Baraat Me Gye
Vaha Unhe bar-2 Pani Diya Jata Hai
us se Tang Aa Kr
Santa-Halaq Me Pani Phans Gaya Hai
Thode Chaval De Do.
Air hostess to the Passengers
Air hostess to all the passenger.?
Kripya apni -apni belt bandh le..
"santa asked"
Te Bibi jinha ne Pajama payia oh ki kra...?
Santa ki Desh Seva
Tcher-Tum Desh k liya Kya Kya karte ho?
Santa-Pani ki Bachat karta hu
Hafte me sirf 1 bar nahata hu
Santa aur uski Naukrani
Santa-Mujhe 4 baje jaga dena
Naukrani-lekin@ mujhe to time dekhna nahi ata.
Santa-Tum jaga dena,time mai khud dekh lunga.
In an African Safari, a LION
suddenly bounced on Banta’s wife.
Wife- Shoot him@! Shoot him!
Banta- Yes yes wait…
I’m changing d
battery of my camera..
Kyu Kehte Ho Ki Me Murkh Hu?
Santa-Tum Dusaro Se Kyu Kehte
Firte Ho Ki Me Murkh Hu?
Banta-Maaf Karna Yaar,
Muje Nahi Malum Tha
Ki Yeh Baat Gupt Rakhni He
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Santa ki wife ko Jin chimmat jayein
Santaji, Agar aap ki wife ko Jin chimmat jayein...
To aap kya karo@ ge...?
Santaji:Mein ne kya karna hai...
Ghalti Jin ki hai, Khud Bhugtey....
Santa Oxford university ka professor
Santa Oxford university me professor tha
Wah wah@
Santa Oxford university me professor tha
Niche kya dhund rahe ho?
Joke to upar tha.!
Santa Baba Ramdev Ke Pas
Santa Ko Hath@ k Nakhun khane ki adat thi..
Parents ne usko Baba Ramdev ke pas bheja..
Aur Ab Santa
.
.
.
.
.
Pairon ke Nakhun V kha sakta h..!
Hathi Aur Ghoda
Santa and Banta were playing chess
Santa - ab b@as hua hum khel band karte hain
Banta - thik hai , vaise bhi
tumhara ghora aur mera hathi he baki hai.
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Jiski Biwi Moti
Santa: @Mera bahut naam hai.
Banta: Wo kaise?
Santa: Bewakoof,
tune wo gana nahi suna kya?
Banta: kaunsa?
Santa: Arey yaar,
"Jiski Biwi Moti uska bhi bada naam hai"
Santa Ko Phone Par Dhamkiya
Santa:Mujhe phone par dhamkiya mil rahi hai.
Police: kaun woh?
Santa: BSNL wale,
bolte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge
IQ of Santa Singh
Deadly IQ OF SANTA SINGH!
Wat's d Opposite of ACHAAR??
A- ONION!
HOW?
A- Achaar=Pickle=Pee-Kal..
So, Opposite of Pee-Kal= Pee-Aaj= Onion!
Santa Ke Ghar Me Chori
Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor m@ere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye
Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??
Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..
Banta was talking on telephone.
Friend: "Kis se baat kr rhe ho?"
Banta: "BV se?
Friend@: "Itne pyar se?"
Banta: Tumhari hai..."
Kya Ghar Me Latrine Bani Hai?
Santa:yar tere ghar me latrine bani hai?
Banta:haan@,aur tere ghar me?
Santa:nai yar mere ghar me to
daal chawal bana hai..
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God stay up in heaven?
Santa: Why do God stay up in heaven?
Banta: Because they are afraid of
what they have c@reated!
Santa v/s Sadhu
Santa Sharab Pikar
Sadhu Se Takra Gya
Sadhu Gusse Me-
Aye Murkh
Me T@uje
SHRAAP Deta Hu
Santa-Rukiye
Maharaj
Me Glas
Leke Ata hu
Santa watched a Film
Santa: o yar!
Me kal film dekhne theater gaya!
Wahan such@ much admi ko kat rahe thy
Banta: o tu konse theater gaya tha?
Santa:
“Operation Theatre”
100 Volt K Bulb Par Baap Ka Naam
Banta 100 VOLT K BULB PR BAP KA NAM LIKH RAHA THA...
KISI NE POCHA YE KYA KR RAHE HO?
Banta: BAP KA NAM ROSHAN KAR RAHA HOON..
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Santa kissing on his GF
Santa kissed his GF in park
Gf: Plz ye sab shaadi se pehle
Santa: Oh Soniye Don't worry I'm married
Pani Ko Ullu Banaya
Banta: AAj mae ny PAni ko Ullu bana dia.
Frnd: Pani ko Ullu? Wo kaise?
Banta: Oye!Subah maeny Pani GARAM kiya
or THANDAY pani se NAha liya
Banta Bunks his office
Banta Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
"baap re, boss @ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta".
Banta in a Plane
Air hostess:@ Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye!
R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Banta: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai
Santa throw his mobile in samundar & bola “ Aa aa upar aa”
His friend ask pa@ni me se upar kaise aayega.
Santa bola “ Kyon nahi aayega DOLPHIN jo hai.”
Menu Bird Flue Ho Gaya
Santa Banta ko – Yaar lag raha hai
menu bird flue ho gaya
Banta :-> Tenu keda pata
Santa :-> Yaar mera hai na
kal se udne ko man kar raha hai.
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Oxygen Discovered in 1773
Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing .
It was discovered in 1773.
Banta:Thank God I was born after that .
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .
Santa ki Biwi Gaon ki
Santa- Sir aap apni patni ko party me kyun nhi le jate?
Boss- Bcoz vo g@aon ki hai.
Santa- sorry sir mujhe laga k vo sirf aapki hai....
Sante Ne Dost Ko Goli Mar Di
Sante ne Apni Biwi ko Dost k sath
ghumte hoye dekh kr Dost ko goli mar di
biwi boli@ - Apne Gusse pe kabu rakho
Varna 1din sare Dosto se Hath dho bethoge.
When taking a bath I get wet
Santa: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.
Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath,
turn off the tap.
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Baccha Nanga Q Paida Hota Hy?
Banta:Baccha Paida hotay samay nanga Q aata hy?
Santa:Us k pas kapde kharedne k liya paise kaha Hota hy
Aankhe Band Karne Par Dikhayi Deta Hai
Santa:Mujhe to aankhe band
karne par b d@ikhayi deta hai
Banta:Acha! Kya dikhta hai?
Santa:Andhera!
Santa in a Restaurant
Waiter gives bill 2 Santa
Santa:Take this card.
Waiter:But s@ir,this is voter card.
Santa:So what?u hav written there-
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Tufani barish me Santa
Tufani barish me rat ko pizza hut par
Santa pizza lene gaya..
Waiter : Ap maried hO?..
Santa :...is tufani barish me kya
meri baap muje pizza lene bhejegi.
Santa visits Mysore palace. Guide:
Please don’t sit there, this is Tipu Sultan’s chair.
Santa: Don’t worry, I will get up when he comes.
Pathan doing Brake Dance
Pathan Cycle Ka
Brake hath mein
Lekar nach
Raha Tha
Banta: yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Pathan: oye!
Yara dikhta nahi kya?
BRAKE DANCE!
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Nojwan Aage Bado
Nojwan aage bado. Santa aage nahi bada.
Captain:-tum aage kyun nahi bade.
Santa :-apne kaha 9jawan aage bado
main 10ve number pe hun.
Santa K Na Thakne Ka Raaz
Maalik to Santa: Tu to kehta tha
ke tu thakta nahi hai.
Aaj fir tu sota hua paya gaya hai.
Santa: Mere na thakne ka yahi to raaz hai.
Mummy Ne Kal Murga Banaya
Santa:Meri Mummy Ne Kal Murga Banaya.
Banta:Kinu, Tenu Ke Tere Bapu Nu?
Translate the Sentence
Teachr:Translate-Bazar Me Goliyan Chal Rhi He
Santa:The Tablets R Walking In The Market
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Santa buying Tickets
Santa: Should i buy tickets to my children.
Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.
Santa: Thank god i have only 6 children
Santa To Ricksey Wala
Santa Ricksey wale se :-
Oy Railway Station Jayega.
Reckse wala:- hanji.
Santa:- To jao na yaha kyo khare ho..
Chemical Formula for Water
Water ka formula...!
Tcher-Water ka formula batao
-
Santa-H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3O
-
Tcher-Ye kya hai?
-
Santa-Sir ye Delhi ka pani hai.
Mujse Shadi Krogi
Chuha-mujse shadi krogi?
Sherni-apni aukat me reh.
Chuha-aukat ki baat mat kar,
confidence dekh.
Santa Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya
Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Krdo
K Police Smje Porana Ghr Hy
Santa Ne Dewar Pe Likha
Anarkali Ko Riha Kro
Agar Garmi Lagy To Kya Karo Gay?
Santa se kissi ne poocha k
santa ji agar app ko garmi lagy
to app kya karo gay?
santa bola jenab
hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay,
admai ne bola jenab
agar phir bhi appko garmi
lagy to kya karo gay?
santa bola,
jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.
Sponsored Links
Santa Ki Tatti
Santa subah Tatti gaya..
Bahut der tak nahi aayi
Usne fir try kiya par nahi aayi
Santa bola are aa q nahi rahi hai!
Me kaun sa tujhe kha jaunga!
Karobaar Jis Mein Munaafa Ho
Santa:
Yaar Koi Aisa Karobaar Bata
Jis Mein Ziada Munaafa Ho?
Banta:
Aisa Kar Sardiyon Main Sasti Baraf
Le Kar Garmiyon Main Baich Dy
Santa Inquiring about Trains
Santa: Express kitne baje ki hai?
TT:1 baje
Santa: local?
TT:9 baje
Santa: maalgadi?
TT:12 baje
TT:jana kahan hai?
Santa: Patri pe potti karni hai...!!
Santa in a Public Toilet
Santa public toilet gaya aur ek gante baad nikla.
Bahar baita jamadar bola- 20rs
Santa- saale... bathroom me baita tha...
koi cyber cafe me nahi...
Sponsored Links
Plastic Surgury Ke Liye Do Lakh Rupayee
Santa bahut pareshaan tha usse kisi ne pucha
santa itne pareshaan kyu ho to santa
bola are yaar ek dost ko plastic surgury ke
liye 2 lakh rupayee diye the
ab phechan nahi paa raha hoo
Dubai Me Sub Kuch Free
SANTA: DUBAI me sub kuch FREE hai
TAXI
HOTEL
KHANA
PINA
YAHA TAK
SEX BHI
FREE HAI
BANTA : are yaar TU kub gaya tha
SANTA; mai nahin meri biwi jakar ayi hai
Santa hitted a Girl on a cycle
Santa was riding a cycle n hit a girl!
Girl shouted- 'Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha???'
Santa replied- 'Poori cycle to maar di!
Ab ghanti alag se maaroon kya!!'
Agar Tum Jungle Me Bhatak Jao
Fauji officer- Jawan agar tum
jungal me bhatk jao to kya karogay ?
Santa - Sir, hum GEEDAR dhund k
marne ki koshish karenge.
Officer - wo kyu ?
Santa - Sir, jab GEEDAR ki maut aati hai
to shehar ki tarf bhagta hai,
aur hum us k piche - 2 shehar aa jaenge
Doctor: App k bachhe ki taang katni pdegi
Santa: Pehle btana tha
me bache ke new shoes nhi leta
Bill Gates - Tussi Bade Pagal Ho
Santa To Bill Gates:- Tussi Bade Pagal Ho!!
Bill Gates:- How????????
Santa:- Surname "Gates" Rakha Hai...
Aur Bussiness "Windows" Ka Karte Ho???
Sponsored Links
Jab Musharraf Paida Hua
Musharraf_ Jab mein paida hua to 51 topen chali thi..
Santa- Kamal hai! Sabka nishana chook gaya?
Santa Jab Rota Tha To...
Santa to Banta -mei bachpan may bohat taqat war tha..
Banta- wo k se?
Santa- meri Maa kehti hy k
jab mei rota tha to sara ghar sar py utha leta tha..
Once Santa knocking a door
Santa knocks d door.
a 10yr old boy cum wid
cigratte & beer in other.
Santa: beta papa ghar pe hai
Boy: bhutni k,
mujhe dekh k lagta hai,
k papa ghar pe honge?
Santa Aur Banta Pj
Santa- 1+1=3 karna ho to? do ki shadhi karwa do
Banta- 1+1=11 karna ho to? do ka nikha karva do
Sponsored Links
Cheez Jinhe Nashte Me Nhi Kha Skte
Teachar-2 aisi cheezo k naam batao,
jinhe nashte me nhi kha skte
Santa-Sir,LUNCH AUR DINNER
Santa ko teen bomb mile
Santa ko 3 bomb mile, police ko dene chala.
Saathwala aadmi bola-agar koi bomb
raaste mein fatt gaya toh?
Santa-Jhooth bol denge ki 2 hi mile they!
Santa Looking at the bills
Santa: Look at these bills: rent,
telephone, electricity, shopping, etc.
The costs are going up on all of them.
I would be very happy if just one thing went down.
Pappu: Dad, see my report card
Tu Mujhe Bewakuf Kyun Banata Hai ?
Banta to santa -tu hamesha mujhe
bewakuf kyun banata hai ?
Santa- kyunki tu BANTA hai..
Grl-Will u marry me?
Santa-No,Hmare me shadi relatives me hi hoti he,
Maa ne papa se ki,
Didi ne jijaji se
or me b apni BV se hi kruga
Banta ki apni biwi se ladayi
Santa: Biwi se ladai khatm hui?
Banta: Ghutne tek k mere pas aai thi
Santa : usne ghutne tek k kya kaha
Banta : yahi ki bed k niche se nikal aao,
me kuch nhi kahungi
Sponsored Links
Santa Ghode par savar....
Santa horse par ja raha tha.
Voh red light jump karta hai.
Police vala siti bajata hai.
Santa ghode ki tail opar kar
ke kehata hai: Le karle number note.
Santa ki Biwi ka Birthday Gift
Banta: Tumne apni patni ko birthday par diamond ring kiyon di?
Voh to car chahti thi na?
Santa: Par mein nakali car kahan se le ke ata?
Santa studying infront of Mirror
Santa sheeshe k samne beth kar study kar raha tha
why?
coz of 3 reasons
1. dobara revision na karna pare...
2. apne uper nazar rahe...
&
3. He likes combine study....
Santa ka Radio
Santa ka RADIO kharab ho gaya,
khol k dekha to ander CHUHA mara hua tha,
dekh ke santa bola: AE lo,
SINGER to mar gaya..
Sponsored Links
Me Ajnabiyon Se Baat Nahi Krta
PASSENGER:tumne mere jeb me haath kyu dala?
SANTA: muje Machis chahi thi
PASSENGER: tum muz se maag shakte the
SANTA: mei ajnabi se baat nahi karta
Banta running with his cycle
Banta was running with his cycle.
Person- Y ru running wid cycle?
U can sit & ride d cycle!
Banta- Arrey bahut jaldi mein hoon!
Baithne tak ki bhi fursat nahi hai.. ;-)
Santa in Kaun Banega Crorepati
KBC me Amitabh- Wat's ur father's name??
Santa- [kuch bola nahi]
Amitabh- Jawaab dijiye!
Santa- Sir option to dijiye!! ;-)
Santa aur Kauwa
Santa Water-Tank Saaf Karne Ke Liye
Apne Ghar Ki Chhat Par Gaya.
Water-Tank Par Ek Kauwa(Crow) Baitha Tha.
Santa Jaldi Se Neeche Utra Aur Seedhi (ladder) Hata Lee,
Aur Kauwe Se Bola, Beta, Main To Neeche Utar Gaya,
Ab Bina Seedhi Ke Tu Neeche Kaise Utrega
Jyotishi :santa ka hath dekhar-
Beta tum Bahut padoge
Santa: Saale Pad to main teen saal se raha ,
yeh bata ki pass kab hunga
Banta coming from Jalandhar
Banta Ki Maa- Puttar Tujhay Yahan Se
Jalindhar Janay Mein 1 Din Laga
Aur Wapas Aanay Mein 3 Din
Wo B Naye Car Se?
Banta : Maa Ye Car Bananay Wale Bhi Pagal Hein
Janay K Liay 4 Gear
Or Aanay Ke Liay Sirf 1 (Reverse) Gear.
Sponsored Links
Santa Ka Na samaj Pyar
Santa ji aapko kabhi kisise pyar hua hai
Santa-han,par woh manti hi nahin
kya bolti hai?
Santa - bolti hai i love u 2
par yeh dusra kaun hai?
Banta selling Parashut to a Customer
Banta selling Parashut : Plane se kudo,
Button Dabao, Aur aap zamin pe safely land!
Custmer : Agar Parashut na khula to?
Banta : O G paise wapas.
Sher Par Maa Durga Ki Sawaari
Santa: Tu office mein toh
bada sher bana ghumta hai,
ghar par kya ho jata hai?
Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon
par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…
Santa v/s American
American: Hamare desh me war
hogaya.
Santa: Hamare india me tho roz war
hotha hai!
American: o kaise?
Santa: Somwar. Mangalwar. Budhwar.
Sponsored Links
Santa Jungle Mein Susu Karne Gaya
Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein
susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?
Santa: Maine Sher se kaha,
“Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”?
Ek Rupay Ka Kela
Santa: Kela kitne ka hay?
Kelay wala: 1 rupay ka ek.
Santa Ji: Kela 60 paisay ka do gay?
Kelay wala: 60 paisay ka
Kelay ka chilka milay ga.
Santa Ji: Ok! ye lay 40 paise
kela mujhe day chilka to rakh.
Banta Ne Nayi Car Li
Santa: Tumnay new car kb li?
Banta: Ek din ek larki mujhey
apni car mai bhita kar lay gai,
aur kapray utar kar boli
jo chahiye lay lo, maine car lay li
Santa: Changa keeta kapray ki karnay siii..
Agar Nariyal K Ped Pe Chhad Jaun
Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun
to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to
medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi..
Hindi teacher asks- KAAL kitne prakar ke hote hai?
SANTA -7 prakar k
Local kaal, STD kaal,
ISD kaal, Missed kaal,
Receivd kaal, Dialled kaal
and..... sas-triya kaal,
Santa Ke Hath Me Sarkar
santa- agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
me desh ki taqdir badel dunga.
wife-tum pehle apna pajama to badal lo subha
se ulta pehn rakha hai.
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Sar-Dard Ki Goli
Santa ped k upar ulta latka huya tha.
Banta- tu ped par kyo latka hai.
Santa- Sar-dard ki goli khayi thi,
kahi pet me na chali jaye, ISLIYE
Santa having Brain Tumer
Dr: aapko brain tumer hai
Santa: oh great news(khush khabari)
Dr: aap itne khush kaise hai ?
Santa: isase yah saabit hota hai
ki mere paas dimag to hai
Kya tumhe ladki fasani aati hai ...?
Santa- ladki fasani aati hai
Banta- nahi aati
Santa- pehle kagaj ka jahaj bana
phir use class room me udha de
jab madam puche to ladki ka nam laga de---
bas fas gai ladki
Stealing in Ram's House
Santa and Banta went to steal in Ram's
house at night when he is sleeping
Santa drops a plate
Ram :kaun hai?
Santa: meow
Banta drops a plate
Ram : kaun hai?
Banta : ek aur billi
Sponsored Links
Aapko Taanke Lagane Aate Hai
Santa: DOCTOR, AAPKO TAANKE LAGANE AATE HAI.
DOC: HAA AATE HAI,KAHA LAGANE HAI?
Santa: YE LO MERI CHAPPAL PE LAGA DO...
Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?
Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?
Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.
Sir:Wo Kaise?
Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai
Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!
Santa Ki Amma ka Dehant
Santa Ki Amma Mar Gayi-
1Admi Bola
Amma Mujhe B LeJati
2-4 Or Bole:Amma Hme B Le Jati.
Santa:Chup Ho Jao
KUTO
Amma Kya
Tata-Sumo Krke Gyi hai...?
Santa Ki Chatri Me Hole....
Santa ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi
to pata kaise chalega.
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.
Santa winning lottery worth rs.20cr
Santa won loottery worth rs.20cr...
dealer gave him 11cr after deducting tax ....
santa : oye dealer ...
ya muje pure 20cr dede
ya to mere 20rs vapas kar de...
Sponsored Links
Santa's 1st operation
Santa comleated his MBBS & did his 1st operation
soon after finishing, the patient died
he prayed: Bhagavan mera pehla "Gift" swikar karo.
Santa’s donkey was missing
Santa’s donkey was missing.
Santa was praying and thanking God.
Banta saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing;
Why are you thanking God?”
Santa: I am thanking Him because
I wasn’t riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would also have been missing.
Techer complaining Santa about his Son
Teacher: Apka beta cigarate peeta hai.
Aap kabhi use puchhte nahi?
Santa: Haan, puchhta hoon,
par mujhe kabhi deta hi nahi.
Santa Meets His Friend Banta
Santa Meets His Friend Banta After A Long Tym
Santa: A and B, A and B, A and B, A and B, A and B
Banta: Oye Is Ka Matlab ... ???
Santa : Kuch Nahi Yaar, I Meant Long Tym No C ...
Sponsored Links
Santa Ko Beta Paida Hua
Nurse-mubarak ho aapke
ghar beta paida huwa hai
Santa- wah g wah kya technology hai
BV meri hospital me hai aur
baccha ghar paida huwa hai.
Romantic Pravachan
Santa pravachan sun ne gaya,
ghar aaker biwi ko god me utha liya,
biwi boli kya baat hai
pravachan me romantic karne ko bola hai.
santa bola, nhi pagli bola hai ki
apne dukho ka bhaar khud uthao...
I Am Going Ka Matlab
Santa- “i m going” ka kya matlab hota hai?
Banta(khub soch ke)- “me ja raha hu.”
Santa(gusse me)- “oye! nahi jaane doonga.
pehle matlab bata.”
Shaadi Me Hijdo Ki Badhai
Hijde shaadi me badhai dene gaye!
Hijda 1- Hay hay! Main to 1100 loongi!
Hijda 2- Main 2100 loongi!
Santa- Arre 2310 lo! Usme FM bhi hai!
Santa bike se ja raha tha,
ladki ko dekh kar achanak gir gaya
ladki oh my god lagi toh nahi?
Santa-o nai soniye hum toh
aise hi bike se utarte hai
If you had 100Rs in your pocket
Maths teacher to santa,if u had 1000Rs
in ur pocket and 1000Rs in d other pocket,
wat would u think ?
Santa: YEH PANT KIS KI HAI.
Sponsored Links
Meri Aankhen Dhang Se Nahi Khulti
Santa: Yaar meri aankhen kabhi
dhang se nahi khulti,
koi tarika toh batao.
Friend: Kisi din achanak
apne ghar bedroom mein chale jao,
aakhen khuli ki khuli reh jayengi..
Parrosiyon Ka Bacha Gum Ho Gya
Santa: Aaj mere parrosiyon ka bacha gum ho gya..
Friend: Phir tum ne kya kiya?
Santa: Maine un se kaha 'google' pr search kar lo.. ;-)
Shadi Me Dulhan ka Pehla Mangetar
1 Shadi Me Dulhan ka 1st
Mangetar b saj K aaya huwa tha
Santa-Ap Dulha he
Usne kaha G Nai Mai
Semi Final Me Out Ho Gya Tha
Final Dkhne Aya Hu
Santa selling Angoors
Santa Angoor bech rha tha Magar Keh rha tha
"Aalu Le Lo Aalu"
BANTA: Ye to Angoor he
Santa: Chup ho ja Warna Makkhiya Sun legi
Sponsored Links
Santa Ki Apne Baap Se Ladai..
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo
kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON”
Santa Ki Door Ki Nazar Kharab
Santa-Yaar Meri Door Ki Nazar Kharab Hai,
Chashma Lena Padega
Banta-Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai?
Santa-Suraj
Banta-Sale Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega
Soup Me Makhi
Santa Ka Dhaba !
Customer: Mere Soup Me Makhi Doob Kar Mari Padi Hai.
Santa: To Kya Karu, Dhaba Chalau Ya Inhe Tairna Sikhau
Raaz Par Musibat...
Santa: RAAZ Par Jo Musibat aayi hai
Uske Bare me Tumne Suna kya?
Banta-
Nahi to ki hoya?
Santa: Are Meri biwi Uske Sath Bhag Gai hai
S-Mere Uncle Ko Marne Se Phle
Mrne Ki DATE Pata Thi
B-Kaise
S-Judge Ne Batai
Thanda Piyoge ya Garam
Santa To Guest: Thanda Piyoge ya Garam
Guest: Dono le aao
Santa: 1 Glass Freezer se Aur
1 Glass Geyser se Pani ka le Aao
Sponsored Links
Sham Singh Ka Mobile
Nepali-ye sham singh ka mobile kaha milega?
Santa-pta nahi
Nepali-itni bari company hai or
apko pta ni
santa ko baad me pta laga wo samsung keh raha tha..
School me Santa
SANTA g school mein 1 white aur
1 black shoes pehan kar chaly gay
principal ne SANTA g ko bolaya or
kaha ghar ja k shoes chang kar k ao
SANTA g boly koi faeeda nahi sir
ghar mein b 1 white or 1 black hi hai
Santa Road Se Gujarte Hue
Santa road se gujar raha tha.
usne road se kuch uthaya aur chillaya.
haramjade log tatti bhi aise karte hai jaise
samosa pada ho.
Banta ka apni Biwi ko Talak
Santa: Yaar tune apni Biwi ko Talak kyu diya?
Banta: Yaar wo badi character less thi.
Shaadi mujhse ki aur Baccha Bhagwan se mangti thi
Sponsored Links
Santa Ki Jan Lene Ka Yumdut
Santa:aisi jindagi se to maut achhi.
achanak yamdut aya aur bola: tumari jan lene ka hukam he.
Santa:lo batoa aab insan majak bhi nahi kar sakta..
Santa getting trouble on the Phone
Santa ko koi mobile pe tang kar raha tha
santa ne naya sim kharid kar use msg kia
mene wo sim band kar diya hai
ab tera baap bhi muje tang nahi kar sakata
Santa Slapping the Phone Operator
Santa Went To A
STD/ISD/PCO Shop And
Slapped The Operator Twice.
Guess Why ?
Bcoz There It Was Written
“number Dial Karnay Se Pehley Do Lagain”
Santa and Banta robbed a bank
Gang of Santa- Banta broke a bank,
but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine...
happily they drink and left
next day headline
~ Braking News ~
"Blood Bank Robbed"
Santa ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle
aaloo lene gaya tha
abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector banta bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo.
Santa ki Pitai
Snta-Aaj Pitaji Ne Pitai Kar Di
Bnta-Kyu
Snta-Maine To Sirf Itna Pucha Tha Ki
"KAMINE..
Film Dekhne Chal Rahe Ho Kya..
Sponsored Links
Santa ke Pappa Ki Umar
Bnta- Tmhare Papa Kitne Saal K He
Santa- Jitne Saal Ka Mai Hu
B- Kaise
S- Jis Din Mai Paida Huwa
Usi Din To Wo Papa Bane
Santa Ki Chappal
Snta Ki Chappal Chori Ho Gyi
Wo Qabristan Paucha Or Waha Baith K Kehne Laga
Chor Ko Kaha Dhundne Jaye Ek Na 1 Din To Yaha Ayega Hi..
Banta Ki Ghadi
SANTA-Time Kya Hua H?
BANTA: 2
S-Apki Ghadi Radio Se Mili H?
B-Ji Nhi Sasural se
Santa Ke Beta Ka Naam
Santa ki 10 betiya thi phir ja
kar uske ghar ek beta hua.
Santa ne uska naam kya rakha hoga?
MUSHKIL SINGH. !
Sponsored Links
Santa Homogiri Se Pareshan
Santa-Jabse ye homogiri legal ho
gayi hai mai bahut pareshan hu..
Banta-why..?
Santa-Arre, kya pata
mera nalaayak beta
kal BAHU layega ya JAMAAI..?
Boyfrnd-girlfrnd kya hota hai??
Santa-Boyfrnd-girlfrnd kya hota hai ?
Banta-Kuch nahi bas ladka-ladki hote hai,
jisme ek muskurati hai
Aur ek kharcha karta rehta hai.
Banta Ke Ghar Chor
Santa-kaha ja rahe ho?
Banta-Police Station,
Mere ghar chor aya he
Santa-BV ko akela chod dia
Banta-Nhi,usne chor ko baho me jakad rakha hai.
I Love You K Msg
Santa-Aaj tere cell pe bade
"I Luv U" k msg aa rahe hai.!
Kya baat hai?
Banta-(Fakr ke saath)"O kuch nahi ji,
Aaj BIWI ka cell laya hu na..
Santa:Mai Gana gata hu to tumara Kutta bhokne lgta h
Banta:Isme mere Kutte ki galti nhi,
Bhokna pehle tumne shuru kiya hoga
Banta doing P.G.D.C.A
SANTA: Aaj Kal Tu Ki Kar Rha h
BANTA: PGDCA
S:Wo Ki honda ae
BANTA:
Papa G De Cash pe Aish
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Ek Ladki muje hans ke
Santa:
"Yaar 1Ladki muje hans ke dekh rhi h"
Frnd:"Abe Dhyan se dekh,
Hans k dekh rhi h ya dekh k hans rhi h"
Building Pr Bina Hafe Chad Sakta Hu
Banta: Mai Samne Wali Building pr bina Hafe Chad skta hu
SANTA: Nhi Chad skte!
BANTA: Agar chad jau toh kya doge?
SANTA: dhakka.!
Santa Ki Biwi Ghar Chodkar Bhag Gai
Santa: yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gai..
Banta: tune use pyar se nahi rakha hoga,
santa: nahi yar sagi behan se bhi badkar rakha tha..
Office Me Santa aur Banta
Santa=Tum Is Office Me kab Se Kaam kr rhe Ho.?
Banta=Jab Se Boss ne Mujhe Nikalne ki Dhamki Di He.
Sponsored Links
Paanch Rupya De De Oh Sundari
Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon,
paanch rupya de de
Santa to his wife: De de, De de,
tujhe sundari bola hai
to har haal main ye andha hai.
Kutte Dar K Bhag Jate He
Banta-Mai gali se jab guzarta hu
to KUTTE mujhse dar k bhag jate he
Santa-Apne BOSS se to har koi darta he
Santa vs Autowala
Autowala: Sab 30 rupiya hua.
Santa: Ye le 15 rupee.
Autowala: Ye to beymani hai
Santa: Abe beymani kaisi,
tu b to baet k aya hai, adha tu de.
Banta Ke Hello Tunes
Santa-Maine Tumhara No. Kitni Baar Try Kiya
But Tumhara Mobile "SWITCH OFF" Tha
Banta-Abe Wo Meri "HELLO TUNES" Hai
Santa: uth...uth...bhukamp aa raha h..
Banta: soja.. soja.. makaan girega to
makaan maalik ka girega,
hum to kirayedar hain...
Santa ne apni biwi ko....
SANTA- maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,Fir M.Sc,Fir usko job b lagwa di.
Ab OR kya karWAU?
BANTA- acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karwa de
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Aniversary Par Santa ka Gift
Aniversary Par Santa Apni Biwi
K Liye Gulab Ka Phul Le Kar Aya
Biwi:Muje Yeh Nahi Chahiye
Koi Sone Ki Cheez Do
Santa:Ye Le Takiya Aur So ja.
Santa seeking for a Challenge
Santa ne Banta se kaha,”
Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali
chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.
Banta Ki Murgi Mar Gayi
SANTA-KYU RO RAHE HO
BANTA- MERI MURGI MAR GAYI
SANTA- TO KYA HUYA MERA BAAP BHI MARA THA
LEKIN ME NHI ROYA
BANTA -ABE TERA BAAP KYA ANDE DETA THA
Santa Troubling a Girl
Santa- Ladki ko chidate hue,
or sohneo ki Haal chal hai twade?
Ladki-(Gusse me) jo teri bhen ka hai,
Santa-(hass ke) wo to maa banne wali hai.
Sponsored Links
Santa aur Banta k bich Ladai
Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..
Banta- Saale main tere kapde phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!
Santa- Dekh serious ladai me Romantic baat mat kar!!!!
Santa ka 60th Janamdin
Santa 60th B'day
Bnta-Ye Cake Pe bulb Q lagaya he?
Snta-60 Candls lagane Me Mushkil
ho Rhi thi Isliye 60Watt k bulb laga diye
Aisi Ki Tesi Kab Hoti Hai...
Santa= Aisi ki tesi kab hoti hai.
Kab lagta hai ki ab to
bhagwan v nahi bacha saakta.
Banta= Jab loose motion lage
ho aur pajame ka naada na khule...
Banta ka Itwar ko Paida hona
Santa:tu kis din paida hua?
Banta: itwar ko
Santa: chal jhute,
us din to chhuti hoti hai.\\\
Santa-: Yaar nave surf naal apna kachha dhota si..
Sala chuttran kolo tight ho gya, hun ki kara..!!
Banta-: Aida kar, ohi surf naal apne chuttar dho lai..
"Hips" Pe Essay
Ek baar exam me question aaya-
HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha
tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!!
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Santa Ke Papa Kuwe Me
Santa : Kal papa Kuwe me Gir gaye,
Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla rahe the.
Banta : Ab Kaise hai?
Santa : Thik hi Honge,
Kal se Kuwe se Koi Awaaz Nahi aayi Na.
Santa's Wife died yesterday
Santa - My wife died yesterday..
I'm trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back. :D
Koi Apni Jagah Se Nahi Hilega
Santa bag lekar bus me ghusa..
Aur zor se chillaya-
.
.
"KHABARDAR!!
KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!
.
.
Santa Singh
KULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!!" ;-)
Santa marrying a Nurse
Santa ki sadi nurse se ho jati hai
Banta ek din santa se mila
pucha yar kasi hai tumare bibi
Santa: yar mere baat hi nahi sunti
jab tak use mai sister na bulau.
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Achha Hua Me America Me Paida Nahi Hua
Santa : Yaar Achha Hua
Me India Me Paida Hua
America Me Nahi
Banta : Q America Me
Hota To Kya Hota ?
Santa : Tu B Na
Muje English Kaha Aati Hai
India 14th August ko aazad nahi hua
Santa: bhagwan ka shukar hai ki
India 14th August ko aazad nahi hua..
Banta: Kyun??
Santa: Are yaar, Phir hum 15th
August kaise manaate ?
Santa aur Uski G.F ki shhadi
Santa: main aur meri girlfriend
shaadi kar rahe hain.
BANTA: wow kab?
SANTA: meri 7 dec ko aur uski 13 jan ko.
Santa Jb Biwi Ko Kiss Karta Hai
Santa: Dr.sahab main jb
BV ko kiss karta hu to
us k muh se Smell aati hai.
Dr.“kamal hai jb mainne check kiya tha
tb to lipstick ki khushbu aarahi thi
One Santa plays Holi every Sunday.
Man: why you play Holi on every Sunday?
Santa: because Sunday is Holi-day..
Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai
Santa
Jaldi se 1 Glass Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai
Peny Ke Bad
1 Glass aur do Larai Hone Wali Hai
Juice Wala
Larai Kb Hogi?
Santa:Jab To Iske Paise Mange ga
Sponsored Links
Ye Khushiyan Kya Hoti Hain?
Santa Banta se:
Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hain?
Banta:
Pata nahi bhai,
meri to kam umar me hi shadi ho gayi thi..
Santa slapping a Pilot in a Plane
SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA..
PLANE RUNWAY PER DOR RAHA THA..
SANTA NE PILOT KO THAPPAD MARA OR BOLA..
ABE SALE DEER HO RAHI HAI OR
TU BY ROAD JA RAHA HAI....
Santa Naha te hue bahar aaya
Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,
santa nanga hi bahar aa gaya dost-
kuch to pahen leta yaar,
santa bhag k andar gaya or
“chappal pahen kar aa gaya.
Santa entering in a Ladies Toilet
By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet,
All the ladies stood up. santa -BAITHO-BAITHO,
IZZAT DIL ME HO BAS YAHI KAAFI HAI...|||"
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Santa Aur Banta ki Race
Santa:chal race lagate hain,
jo harega wo rs.1000 dega.
Banta :thik hai par mujhe rasta nahi pata .
Santa:bas tu mere peece peeche rehna.
Banta :thanx bhai.
Santa in an Examination Hall
Santa ko exam mein koi sawal
ka answer nahin aata tha,
santa ne har sawal ke neeche /////////
lines laga di or likha
Scratch kar ke answer padh lena.
Santa listening a song on a Radio
Santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha
papa kehte hai bada naam karega.
Maa - bijli ka bill kya tera baap bharega..
Banta ke Ghar Light Chali Gayi
Ek Raat light chali gayi
SANTA: Aree yaar pankha to chala doo,
Banta: Kar dii na paglo wali baat?
pankha chala diya to mombati bhuj nai jayegi.
Santa:-Yaar Ans sheet pe kya likhun??
Banta:-Yehi Ki
"IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GAYE ANS KALPNIK HAIN
JINKA KISI BHI BOOK SE KOI SAMBANDH NAHIN HAI"
Santa burning a bulb
Banta: Santa, Bulb Jalana
Santa Bulb nikaal kar
Gas Stove par rakh deta hai
Bulb jal gaya
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See you at night!
Santo Office Jaa raha tha
Preeto(Pyar se boli): See you at night!
Santa (Gusse se): Dhamki kise de rahi ho
mein bhi tujhe dekh lunga.
Santa Interview K Liye Gaya
Santa interview k liye jata hai.
Boss- aapka janm kahan hua hai?
santa- tiruvantpuram.
Boss- spelling batao?
santa- nahi - nahi goa me hua tha.
Santa ke Baap ka Dehaant
Santa: Mere Father ka dehant ho gaya
akhbaar me Shok Sandesh dena hai
Banta: Aap Hindustan Kesari me de.
isme abhi 1 +1 scheme hai.
Aap ke father ke sath
aapka free chhap denge.
Banta drinking a Soup in a Restaurant
Ek Banta Restaurant me soup Pi raha Tha.
Boy : Banta G Soup Wich Makhi Ae....
Banta : Dil wadda Kar Yaar.
Makhi ne Kina Pee lena ae.
Sponsored Links
Colgate Me Namak Hai
Banta khana bana raha tha
aur pucha 'namak kidar hai'?
Santa : namak nahi hai.
Banta : toh Dal mein kya daalu?
Santa : "COLGATE" dalo, usme Namak hai.
Banta ki Bitch Per Sair
Banta: yaar me kal
Bitch per ghoomane gaya tha.
Santa: Ajib baat hai,
tu kutti per baith kar
ghoomane gaya phir bhi usne katta nahi
Banta In a Art Gallery
Banta In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir
ko aap modern art kahte hai?
Art Dealer: Mere bap tu dimag
mat laga, ghar ja, ye aaina hai..
Santa Banta talking on a phone
Santa: Kahan se bol rahe ho?
Banta: Mobile se.
Santa: Main puchh raha hun
konsi jaga se bol rahe ho.
Banta: Muhn se bol raha hun.
Santa Delhi se Meerut ja raha hota hai
Suddenly Santa bolta hai: Jaldi chalao,
fast nahi to hame kachhe raste se jana parega
Driver: Kyon
Santa: are bewkoof padha nahi,
Ye sarak to Haridwar jaane wali hai,
pata nahi kabh chali jaye
Santa ke Income Ka Source
Banta to Santa: Tumhaare income ka source kya hai
Santa: Maine apne upper ka portion
kisi ko rahane kiraye par diya hai
Banta:kamaal hai wo pure din
tumaher upper kaise rahata hai
Sponsored Links
Santa Ke Judwa Bachche
NURSE-AAPKE JUDWA BACHCHE HUE HAIN.
SANTA-YE TO HONA HI THA.
PROGRAMME HI AISE HI DEKHTI THI-KBC2,
INDIAL IDOL2.DHOOM2.
NURSE-ACHCHHA HUA K DELHI6 NAHI DEKHI.
Santa Banta Taazi Hawa Khane
Banta: chal bahar chalte hai,
taazi hawa kha kar aate hai
Santa: Tu chal me
Chammaj Plate lekar aaya
Santa Ki Maa Ki Tabiyat Kharab
Santa ki Maa Ki tabiyat kharab thi,
Hospital gaye to Doctor ne kaha ki "Test" Hongi.
Santa: Inki umar zyada hai
test nahi One-Day ya T-20 karwa lo
Santa Ka Sher Se Saamna
Santa: kal mera sher se saamna ho gaya
Banta: Phir kay hua
Santa: maine TV band kar di
Banta: Kyon vo to TV Main tha na
Santa: Ye to main samajhata hun,
us jaanvar ko kya pata TV h
isase bahar nahi nikalte
Sponsored Links
Mahila Cricket Player Ka Naam
Banta: Tum Cricket dekhate ho
Santa: Han
Banta: Kisi Mahila Cricket Player ka naam batao
Santa: Simple, Mahila Jayewardane
Santa ke Dada 1947 Ki Jang Me
Santa:Mere dada ne 1947ki jang me
dushman ki taange kat di thi
Banta:Gardne Q nahi kati
Santa:Wo pehle se hi kati padi thi.
Santa's G.F in a Romantic Mood
Santa Ki Gf Romantic Mood mai thi
usne santa se kaha mere gahr koi nahi hai aa jaao
Santa-tu mere ghar aaja mere ghar sab log hain.
Tera man lag jaayega.
Banta Par Shani Ki Dosh
Jyoitishi: Tere upper shani ki dosh hai
1100/ do, dasha hata dunga
Banta: Mere pass nahi hai
Jyotishi: To 101/ de do
Banta: Nahi hai
Jyotishi: 11/ de do
Banta: Abhi to nahi hai
Jyotishi: phir chinta mat karo
Rahu Ketu Shani tino milkar bhi
tumhara kya bigaar lenge
Santa: Upperwale ki daya se
teen larkiyon ke baad mere larka hua hai
Banta: Yaar tumhare upper kaun rahata hai
Santa ki Shaadi
Santa-Tum Meri Shadi Mai Aaoge Na?
Banta-Mai Un Logo Mai Se Nahi,
Jo Musibat Ke Waqt Dost ko Akela Chhod De.
Main Zarur Aaunga.
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Santa as a Chemist
Banta: Ek sar dard ki goli dena
Santa Chemist: Thora sochane ke baad,
Sar dard hone ki to koi goli nahi aati
Santa ke Ghar Guest
Santa: Beta 2 Bistar kyun lagaye?
Son: Ghar Pe 2 Guest ane hai.
Santa: Kaun?
on: Mummy ka Bhai aur mera Mama.
Santa: Fir 1 or laga,
Mera Sala bhi aa rha hai!
Santa Ordering Pakora to Halwai
Santa: 1 Kg Pakora dena
Halwai ne jaise hi tel me garm karke nikala
Santa: Abe kanjoos,
sirf Pani me dho ke de raha hai,
kuch surf saboon to dal deta
Santa joins as Accountant
Santa joins as accountant
Wo Pen ke sath scissors bhi le jata hai
pucha kyon
Santa: Mujhe Cheque bhi to Katane hai
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Santa Office Jate Waqt...
Santa: Office jate waqt Rumal,
Chasma & Mobile bhool gaya
Niche se wife ko bola de do
Wife ne Chasma phenka toot gaya,
Mobile phenka toot gaya
Santa: Tum rahne do
me rumaal lene upper hi aa raha hun
Santa ki Kamjori
Santa: Mujhe kamjori mehsoos ho rahi hai
Banta: Tum bharpoor desi ghee khao
1- 2 din baad
Banta: ab kaise ho
Santa: Waise hi hoon,
Bharpoor Brand ka
koi ghee aata hi nahi
Banta calling FM radio
Banta calls FM radio:
I'v found sm1 named
Kamaljit's wallet wid Rs. 15K.
RJ: Sir! U wnt 2 retrn d wallet?
Banta: Ni pagal! I wnt 2 dedicate
a sad song 2 him.;-)
Santa Sharab Pe Kar Ghar Lauta
Raat ko Santa P K lauta;
Biwi ki daant se bchne kliye
bdi si Kitab lekr pdhne lga
Biwi-P K aye ho?
Santa-Nahi To!
Biwi-Phir Suitcase
khol kr kya bak2 kr rhe ho
Ek deewar par likha tha '
Yaha kutte susu karte hain'
Santa ne waha susu kiya.
Fir muskura kar bola-ise kehte hai dimaag,
susu maine kiya naam kutte ka aaya.
Dil Ki Dharkan Taiz Ho Jaye
Galfriend to Snta- Kuch aisa kaho
Ke Dil ki Dharkan Taiz ho jaye
Snta- Bhago 2mhara Bhai Aa Raha Hai.
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Santa ko 20 saal bad bachcha hua
Santa ka 20 saal bad bachcha
hua aur woh udass hai.
Banta- yaar udass kyun ho ?
Santa -kya batao yaar 20 saal
baad bachchha hua woh bhe chota sa.
Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar
Santa: Hamare Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar Kya H?
Banta: 100%.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Jo Paida Hota H,
Wo Mar Hi Jata H.
Shaadi Me Santa Ka Dinner
Shadi me Santa bahot der tak kha Rha ta
Bnta-kab tak khaoge
Snta-Mai Khud kha- kha k dukhi hu
per kya karu card me likha tha Dinner 7 to 10 PM
Bhais Ka Doodh
Santa-ma kehti hai bhais ka
doodh pine sedimag tej hota hai,
Banta-ma bewkuf banati hai agar
aisa hota to bhais ka baccha scientist hota .
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Zindagi Me Kuch Problem Ho To
Santa- Insaan Ko Zindagi Mein
Koi Bhi Problem Hoto
Kiske Pas Jana Chahiye...?
Banta- Farmer...!
Santa- kyu..?
Banta - Uske Paas "HAL" Hota Hai...
Tumne Kabhi Koi Larki Phansai hai??
Santa-Tumne Kabhi Koi Larki Phansai hai?
Banta-Yaar Larki To Maine Phansa li thi.
Par Tum Logo ne ye Mohalla hi Chor Diya. :-)
Santa's Moving Performance
Santa: I gave a moving performance in singing.
Banta: What do you mean by moving performance?
Santa: Everyone moved out of theatre.
Nana Ne Mujhse Rishta Tod Diya
SANTA: Mere Nana ne mujhse
choti si baat par rishta tod diya..
BANTA: Kyun.Kya kha unhone.?
.
Unhone kaha..
.
Moongphali me dana nhi
Hum tumhare Nana Nhi..
Banta: Did Ramesh furnish his
whole house with second-hand stuff?
Santa: Yes, he even married a widow.
Got a Black eye fron a Fire
Santa: What do you mean,
u got that black eye from a fire?
Banta: My wife caught me kissing an old flame.
Sponsored Links
Hips don't Lie
Santa-Aaj breakfast kya kiya?
banta -Sandwiches
Santa -Jhooth Muli ke parathe khaye h na?
Banta -How do u know?
santa-Lips Can Lie But Hips Don't Lie!
Khaandani Santa
SANTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud or
1 Murge Ko Khila Raha Tha.
BANTA- Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
SANTA- Hum Khaandani Log Hain
Roz Roti Chickn Ke Saath Khate hain.
Santa ki shaadi me kam log
Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur
ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi
Pyaar Me Sher Bhi Kutta Ban Jata Hai
Santa- Aapka kutta to
sher jaisa dikhta hai.!
Kya khilate ho isey?
Banta- wo sher hi hai,
saala PYAR-VYAR k chkkar me padke
kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai..!
Sponsored Links
Agar Electricity Nahi Hoti
Santa: Agar electricity nahi
hoti to kya hota?
Banta: Raat mein candle light
mein TV dekhna padta tha
Banta charging his Mobile
Santa: Banta, don’t put mobile on
charging while sleeping at night?
Banta: y?
Santa: sometimes, battery may blast.
Banta: Yah. I know. That’s y
I am removing battery
from mobile while charging… :)
Santa standing in front of a mirror
Banta Singh: y r u standing in
front of the mirror for a long time?
Santa Singh: i'm trying to remember
where i have seen this face before.
Santa ki Tennis Knowledge
Santa 2 Bnta:- Yaar Mujhe Tenis ki
Bahut Knowledge Hai..!
Chahe Kuch Bhi Pooch Le.
Banta:-Accha to Ye Bataa.!
Tenis Net May Kitne Chhed Hote H
Santa jangal ke raste ghar jaa raha tha.
Raste mein ek chudail ne uska raasta roka aur boli:
ha ha ha ha mein chudail hoon.
Santa: Mujhe malum hai aur
teri ek behan mere ghar pe hai.
Santa got question from IIT Exam
IIT Exam, Santa got 1 question
Proove : SIN X = 6N
Santa cancelled 'N' from both the sides.
Then SIX = 6 & wrote
"Kuch to standard rakha karo IIT ke questions ka"
Sponsored Links
Agar Banta ki Bivi Ko Bhootni Lipat Jaye
Santa:-Agar Teri Bivi Ko
Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kya Karega?
Banta:- Mujhe Kya Karna !
Ye Do Behno Ka Aapsi Mamla Hai
Me Bus pe chadu ya Bus mujh pe chade
Santa: agar me Bus pe chadu
ya Bus mujh pe chade,
dono me kya fark hai?
Banta:koi fark nai,
Dono bar ticket teri hi kategi.
Santa ki Century
Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..
Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?
Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run
Baki The Or mai Out Ho Gaya.
Banta:shit Yaar so close.. ;-)
Santa ka Sarkar se Competition
Jailor-Tum Kis Jurm Me Aye Ho?
Santa-Bas kuch khaas nahi jailor saab,
Sarkar Se Competition Ho Gaya Tha
J- Kis Baat Ka?
S- Note Chhapne Ka.
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Wife Agar Husband Ko Naukar Samjhe
Santa: Wife Agar Husband Ko Naukar
Smajhe To Husband Ko Kya Karna Chaiye?
Banta: Zayda Kuch Nahi
Do Char Ghar Aur Dekh Lene Chahiye
Santa Ke Mobile Pr Msg
Santa- yar mujhe ajeeb msg aya
or mera mobile off ho gaya!!
Banta- kya lekha tha.?
Santa- battery low..
Banta- mujhe send kar
sab ko tang karunga!!!
Santa Aur Banta Ka Rishta
Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
Santa's Deep Thinking
Santa ne ek Gadda khoda
or usme ja k beth gaya?
banta ne puchha: ?Ae ki ho raya ha??
santa replied: DEEP THINKING
SANTA ne Apni Car k Niche
Kutte ko Leta Hua Dekha
to Kutte ko Punch se Khicha
or Kaha
.
.
.
Bahar nikal Saale,
Bada aya Automobile Engineer
Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati hai
Santa: Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati h?
Banta: Kyun nhi jayegi?
Jab mera ghar, khet, paisa
sab kuchh chala gaya
to teri khansi kya cheej hia be
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Premika Ki Mang
Santa:Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi Thi
Ki Mujhe Usase Rishta Todna Pada.
Banta: Uski Mang Kya Thi
Santa: Shaadi ki.
Machli Me Kaante Hote Hain
Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar,
chappal pahen k kha lena.
1 Rs. me 3 amrood
Santa: Yaar aaj to 1 Rs.
me 3 amrood mil gye.
Banta: Wo kaise?
Snta: 1 Rs. ka 1 usne dia,
1 mai utha k bhag gya,
or 1 usne muje fek ke mara...
Banta Ki Takat Aur Kamjori
Santa-Teri Sabse Badi Takat Kya He
Banta-Meri Patni
Santa-Sabse Badi Kamzori ??
Banta-Dusro Ki Patni..
Sponsored Links
Santa ki Major Rahail se Pitai
Santa: Yar muje Major Rohail ne social work krne Pr bohat mara.
Batna: Social Work?
Santa: Han, me ne qabristan k gate pr Welcome ka board lagaya tha.
Banta ke Ghar pani Ghuss gaya
Santa- bhai jaldi jao
tumhare ghar mein pani ghus gaya hai.
.
.
.
.
Banta- Kyun jhuth bolta hai,
ghar mein pani kaise ghus sakta hai,
ghar ki chabi jo mere pass hai.
India Me Kutte Kamjor Q Hote Hai??
Santa-yar banta apne India me
sabhi kutte kamjor q hote hai?
Banta:kyuki sab kutto ka khun 2
DHARAMENDER Pee jata hai.
Santa noticing a very Important thing
Santa: yaar I Notice a very Impotant thing
Banta: Wht is dis?
Santa: Jab railway Fatak Band hota hai
Tab Tab TRain Jarur aati hai.
Santa-Yar Mujhe Apni Gf Ko Gift Dena Hai.
Banta-Diamond Ring De Do,
Santa-Nhi Yar Aisi Chese Batao
Jo Kabhi Usne Pahni Na Ho
Banta-Gents Kachha De De
Laptop Bada Karwana Ka Tarika
Banta: tujhe apna laptop bada karwana hai..?
Santa: Haan yaar..
Banta: to fir Isme se
Window nikalwa ke
Darvaja fit karva le..
Sponsored Links
Santa Ki Khushi Ka Raaz
BNTA-Tere Ghr Se Hmesa
Hsne Ki Awaz Ati Hai,
Khusi Ka Raaz Kya Hai?
Snta-Meri Biwi Muje Jute Marti Hai,
Lag Jaye To Wo Hasti Hai,
Nhi Lge To M Hasta hu.
Santa's Story with a Moral
Tchr: story sunao with moral.
Santa: 1din hm un k gar gye
to wo soye huye the,
1 din wo hmare ghar aye
to hum soye huye the.
Moral: Jaisi karni, waisi bharni
Santa selling his Donkey
Santa ko apna gadhha bechna tha
unho ne apne ek dost ko letter likha
agar tmhen kabhi kisi gadhhay ki zroorut ho
toh mujhay yaad ker lena !
Santa Kisi K Ghar Afsos K Liye Gaya
Santa: yar tu kisi k ghar afsos k liye gaya tha,
itni jaldi kaise agaya?
Banta: abe yaar 1 ghante baitha raha,
majaal hai jo kisi ne hans k baat ki ho.
Sponsored Links
Santa Tarbooj Kharidne Gaya
Santa: Tarbooj kaise diye
Fruitwala: 20 per Kg
Santa: Mahnge hai
Fruitwala: Lekin guarantee se mithe hai
Santa: 1 Tarnook kharid kar bolta hai
ab iska guarantee card de do
Sabse Bari Durghatna
Santa: Sabse bari durghatna kya ho sakti hai
Banta: Agar koi potty dhone ke dibbe me Tejab dal de
Santa receiving a Text
Some1 wrote 2 santa,
"Agr tum zaheen ho to Rs100 bhejo.
Hoshyar ho to 200.
Agr dono ho to 300 bhejo"
santa sent Rs600 n wrote,
"O-A Main sabka baap hon:->"
Chota Parivar Sukhi Parivar
Santa k truck k peechay likha tha
"chota parivar sukhi parivar"
Or uske nechay
Tinu, minu, chintu, chinky,
pinky, guddu, guddi, sonu, monu,
te sohan de papa di gaddi
Santa Ka Ladka: I'm A Complan Boy...
Santa Ki Ladki: I'm A Complan Girl....
Santa: Sala Paida Mene Kiya Or Naam Kisi Or Ka...
Santa in a Train Compartment
Train chali, Santa ji 1 dibbe mai chad gaye..
TT bola: kyun paa ji, nazar nhe aate,
ye ladies ka dibba hai.
Santa : Sorry ji,
mere ko laga aap mard ho ;->
Sponsored Links
Similarty between Pineapple And Coconut tree
Teacher To Santa:
Btao Pineapple Aur Coconut
K Tree Me Kia Similarty Hy...?
Santa Kafi Der Sochne K Baad:
Madam ! Us Me Angoor Nhi Lgte... ;->
Dada Ji Ka Naam Mitti Me
Santa 1: yaar tm subah se
mitti khod rhe ho,kia baat hai,
banta kuch nahi yaar
Dada ji ne kha hai'k
maine unka naam mitti
me mila dia hai
bas woi dhond raha hun
Rastey Pe Jatey Hue Santa Se
1 admi bike pe ja raha tha.
Admi ne rastey pe jatey Santa se poucha?
Sir! Apko lift chahey kia?
.
.
.
.
Santa:Nahi hamara ghar tou Ground floor pe hai.:
Banta ka 10 lakh ka cheque
Santa-Ye 10 lakh ka cheque kisko de rahe ho??
Banta-apne bhai ko.
Santa-apna sign to kar do.
Banta-nahi. Main apna naam gupt rakhna chahta hu.
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10 lakh ka daka 0r 50 lakh ki chori
Santa Marte Waqt-Tumhare Ghr 10 lakh ka
daka maine dalwaya tha
0r 50 lakh ki chori b mene hi krai thi
Banta-Tumhe Zehar bi Maine diya he
Banta ke ghar ki Kheer
Santa: Very Tasty, Aaj to tumhare ghar
kheer kha kar majja aa gaya
Banta: Agar Chuhe muhn nahi marte
to Kheer aur bhi achhi banti
Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya
Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya.
Wo Uske Ghar gaya or pucha- Body aa gai kya?
Tabhi Body lekar Ambulance aa gayi.
Santa-Lo Batao, kitni Lambi umar hai.
Santa aur Banta ka Ghar
Santa-Mera ghar itna bda he ki
usme local train chalti he.
banta- Bas,sale mera ghar itna bada he ki
agar 1se dusre kone chale jaao
.....to roaming lagti he
Santa: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi I.
Banta: Q?
Santa: Q Ki Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein
Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha Ki
Main Jaag Raha Hu
Kitab Likhne Me 1 Saal
Santa: Mujhe Kitab Likhne Me 1 Saal Lag Jata Hai.
Banta:Itni Mehnat Kyo Karte Ho 1
5 Rupaye Me Likhi Hui Kitab Mil Jati Hai.
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Ladies Or Gents Pankha
Santa Electric Shop Me- 2 Pankhe Dena
1 Ladies Or 1 Gents.
Salesman- Pankho Me
Ladies Or Gents Nahi Hota.
Santa- Kese Nahi Hota
Ek Bajaj Ka De Or Ek Usha Ka.
Train me yaar raat bhar neend nhi aayi
Santa:-Train me yaar raat bhar
neend nhi aayi upar ki seat mili thi.
Banta:-To seat xchange kar leta.
Santa:-Kisse karta!!
niche ki seat pe koi tha hi nhi!:
Navjot Singh Siddhu Ki Tasvir
Santa k ghar NAVJOT SINGH SIDDHU
ki tasvir lagi hui thi
Banta: ye q laga rkhi hai..?
Santa: LAUGHING BUDDHA lene gaya tha
dukandar ne kaha yeh LATEST hai..
Santa ko Ladki se bachao
Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."
Banta - "Kya hua?"
Santa - "Jab se Maine kaha
'Dil Cheer ke Dekh tera hi Naam hai'
Saali Chaku le @ke Piche hi pad gayi hai."
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Santa Ko Ik Kuri Nal Pyar Ho Gya
Santa- Jado mai chota c,
menu ik kuri nal pyar ho gya,
te mai usde 4 bhrawa nal gal v karli c.
Banta-Fer ki hoya?
Santa-aje tak siddha tureya nai janda.
Matlbi Dost Se Bach Kr Raho
Santa=matlbi dost se bach kr raho.
Banta=magr matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega.
Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karo
jo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
Banta ke Behan ki Delivery
Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai
pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi
ki me mama banunga ya mami"
Santa Ki Kadi Chawal
Santa kadi chawal kha rha tha ,
ek makhi us par b@aithne ki koshish kar rahi thi,
ye dekh santa bola-
hat hat ye woh nhi hai jo tu samajh rahi hai..
Santa Ne Apna Ghar Construct Kiya..
Construction @Ke Baad Uper Wale Part Par
Color kiya,
Aur Nechay Wale Part Par Likh Diya
"SAME AS ABOVE"
Santa Aur Banta Ne Pehli Baar Riksha Dekhi
Santa aur banta ne zindagi me
pehli baar riksha dekha..
Santa: Dekho Kitna Chota Tanga Hai.
Banta: Haan..
Aur Gadha To Dekho, Aadmi Jaisa Dikhta Hai..
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Santa ne Sher ka Pinjra khula chor diya
Santa ne Zoo me sher
ka pinjra khula chor diya
Officer:Tum@e Sher ka Pinjra Lock ni Kia
Santa:Sir itne khofnack
janwar ko kon chori krega?
Police Investigating Santa
Police to Santa : "Tumhara Dost kaise mara?"
Santa : "O ji @Mai kuch nahi janta,
Usne to yehi kaha tha-
Mere Pat me Chuhe kud rahe hai.
to Mene use Chuhe Marne ki dawa de di
RIM ka Connection
Santa: RIM ka connection lene gaya
Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.
Santa: 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai
roj khulle kahan se launga
Santa Ki Beti Jyotishi
Santa ki Beti : "Papa kal Ghar me se
1 Member kam ho jayega."
Nxt Day Santa ki Beti bhag gayi.
Santa : "Ladki ne kaam to Galat kiya
lekin thi wo @Jyotishi.
Sponsored Links
Santa in a Parliament
Santa galati se Sansad me chala gaya
wanha upper kursi pe baithe huye se pucha
Tum kaun ho?
usne jawa@b diya : ME Speaker hun
Santa: jor se bola, to phir me Loud Speaker hun
Santa ki Tapasya
Santa tapasya karta hai
Bhagwan: var mango vats
Santa: Ye kya kiya aapne,
me to vadhu ke liye tapsya kar raha tha
Santa Ke Dimag Me Bhoosa
Santa: Bakri se door bhag raha tha
Banta: Bhag kyon rahe ho
Santa: Mere Papa ne kaha tha
mere dimag me bhoosa bhara hai,
soch raha hun kahin ye kha na jaye
Konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai
Santa - "Aisi konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai
or trin trin karti hai."
Banta - "Telephone"
Santa - "Galat"
Banta - "to phir"
Santa - "Ta@matar.... trin trin to
Confuse karne ke liye bola tha.
Teacher 2 santa- tum me kuch kamiya hai
Santa next day c@oat pant pehan k aata hai
Teacher- what is this?
Santa- Raymond, the complete man.
Jo Cheej Nahi Ho Wohi Lena Chahiye
Santa: Agar Bhagwan tumhe 1 wish de
or Paise or akal me 1 lena ho to tu kya lega
Banta: Isme puchhna kya hai me Akal lunga
Santa: Achha hai..
jiske pass jo cheej nahi ho wohi lena chahiye..
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Santa Ka Waqt Se Badla
Santa park me baitha tha.
Friend:Kya kar raha hai ?
Santa:Badla le Raha hu !
Frnd:Kaise?
Santar: waqt Ne mujhe barbad kiya hai,
ab mai waqt barbad kar raha hu.
Truck Towing
1 truck dusre truck ko rassi se bandh kr le ja rha tha
Ye dekh kr santa ha@ns-hans k lotpot ho gaya or bola-
Ek rassi ko le jane K liye 2-2 truck...
Santa ki Laddu ki Dukan
Ek adami santa se :1 Kg laddu lene aata hai
Adami: Isme to chinti hai
Santa: Aap naa@raj na ho,
aapko laddo pure 1 Kg dunga,
chinti jitana weight extra de dunga
Fruit Khaya Karo Chhilke Sahit
Doctor: Kamjori hai fruit khaya karo chhilke sahit
After one hour
Santa: Mera pet dard ho raha hai
Doctor: kya khaya tha
Santa: Nariyal.. chhilka sahit
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Santa Bus Me Ek Larki Se Takraya
Santa Bus me ja raha tha ek laraki se takragaya
Larki boli: Thappar khana hai
Santa: MEra to p@et bhara hua hai,
Aap kisi aur se puchh le
Santa Fighting in a Mobile shop
Santa ek mobile bechane wale se larai kar raha tha
Logon ne pu@chha kya huva
Santa: Mene mobile kharida to bola tha
mobile me lock bhi h,
Ab ye tala, chhabi kuch nahi de raha
Santa opened a Jewellers shop
Santa: Last year, I opened a jeweller`s shop.
Banta: And then what happened?
Santa: I was caught red-handed by the jeweller.
Santa ke 50-50 Biscuit
Santa: Biscuit ka packet kharid kar
do barabar- barabar tor raha tha
puchha kyon
Santa: Pretto ne bola tha 50-50 Biscuit lane hai
Banta: Ek Uncle Chips ka pura packet kha leta hai
Khane ke baad sochata hai
Ad me to Bol rahe the ki lips bolenge lekin
Mere to Hips bol rahen hai
Santa goes for railway reservation
Santa goes for railway reservation
Santa: Mera AC chair car ka reservation kar dena
Railwaym@an: Seat nahi hai
Santa: Aap reservation kare,
seat ki chinta na kare,
ek kursi me ghar se le lunga
Sponsored Links
Santa v/s Kaidi
Kaidi- Try karna mujhe umr kaid ho, faansi nahi..
Santa- Dont worry!
After court-
Kaidi- Kya hua?
Santa- Bahut mushkil se umr kaid mili hai..
Saale riha kar rahe the!!! ;-)
Santa seeing a Road Accident
Accident hua, bheed ho gayi!
Santa ko age aane ka mouka nhi mil raha tha!
Santa chillaya- Hay mera bapu! Sbne aage jaane diya...
Dekha toh Kutta mara pada tha...:)
Santa Ke Ghar Vishfotak Samgri
Police high alert k time Santa ke ghar talasi lene gai.
Police-Khabar h k a@pke ghar me Vishfotak samgri h.
Santa-"Sir" vo to maike gai hui hai.
Santa aur Banta Birthday Party me
Santa Banta ki khub pitai hui.
Dono kisi Bir@thday Party me muft ka
khana khate hue pakde gye the Kehne lage-
Hum ladki walo ki taraf se he...
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Santa asking to Banta for Office
Santa: Office Chal rahe ho kya?
Banta: tu ch@al main naha dho kar aaya
Santa: Kamaal hai, tu ab dhone jayega,
main to potty jata hun tabhi dho leta hun
Santa Jab Chota Tha
Santa: Jab me chhota tha
tab me is ped pe chad jata tha.
Banta: wo kaise?
santa: tab ye ped bhi chhota tha na yaar...
Aao Chess Khelen
Banta: Aao Chess Khelen
Santa: Mujhe Chess Nahi Aati
Banta: Main Sikha dunga isme
Hathi, Ghore Oont khane hai
Santa: Phir to main bilkul nahi khelunga
kyonki main shaakahari hun.
Santa Ek Arthi Se Takraya
Santa pi kr Scoter pe 1 Arthi Se takra Gya,
dead body gir Gy@i Log Sante ko Pitne lage,
SANTA- Jo Gir gaya Usse To Punch lo Jyada Chont to nhi lagi.
Santa's dead body found in a cupboard &
all other Member declared him
Winner of Last Year's Hide & Seek Championship!.
Duniya Ka Sabse Dukhi Aadmi
Santa:Duniya mei sabse dukhi aadmi kaun hai?
Banta:Bechare Rickshaw wale!
Santa:Kaise?
Banta:Q ki ladki kunwari ho ya married
"BHAIYA" hi bulati hai..
Sponsored Links
Santa v/s Dhoobi
Banta: Santa dhobi se:
T Shirt Ulti karke press kar dena!
Ek din Baad
Banta: Meri T shirt press ho gayi?
Santa: Babooji pres@s kaise karta,
koshish to bahoot ki lekin ULTI aa hi nahi rahi.
How to know if your kids have grown up
Santa: When do you know your kids have grown up?
Banta: When you@r daughter begins to put on
lipstick or your son starts to wipe it off.
Oldest animal in the world
Teacher:Which is the oldest animal in the world?
Banta:"ZEBRA".
Teacher:Shocked,how?
Banta:Because it is still "Black and White"!!!
Searching for an Ideal Match
Santa: Why didn’t you marry?
Banta: I was searching for an ideal match.
Santa: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?
Banta: I found one.
Santa: Then?
Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match.
Sponsored Links
Santa Ke Baap Ko Gaali
Santa: Aaj pehli baar kisine
mere BAAP ko gaali di.
Patni: Fir?
Santa: Maine bh@i uske baap ko gaali di.
Patni: Lekin wo kaun tha?
Santa: Mera BETA..
A Warning board at the Centre of a Pond
Santa saw a board at d centre of a Pond.
He tried reading bt he couldn't.
Atlast he swims to the centre of the Pond
& Reads,"CROCODILE PRESENT,DONT SWIM"
Santa Banta in Film "Deewar"
Santa-Mere pass gadi hai ,bunglow hai,
paisa hai tumhare paas kya hai ?
Banta- Mere paas bhi gadi hai
bunglow@ hai paisa hai.
Santa-to saale apni maa kiske paas hai ?
Santa in Daughter's Room
Santa found cigrate in daughter's room"
"God she smoked?"
Den found @wine "o God she drink?"
"Den he saw a boy,"thnk god!
Toh ye sab iska hai.
.
1 Ladki Boli STaND UP Koun Ho Tum??
.
Santa:Tum Koun Ho?
.
Ladki: Mai MONITOR Hun.
.
Santa: Ha.ha..
TeRE Din Gaye pagli...
ab laptop or LCD ka zamana hai.
Santa caught by a Tribe
Santa and his friends are caught by a tribe.
.
Tribesmen take them to their king.
.
King: In sabko bandi bana do
.
Santa pleaded:
.
Nahi merko banda hi rehnedo. plzzzz
Sponsored Links
Santa with two ladies in Lift
Maha fadu joke :-P:-P :-D:-D
.
.
Santa in Lift..
.
.
Girl mehnga perfume laga k lift me gayi,
.
SANTA ko akad k boli Cobra perfume, Rs.6000..:)
.
2nd girl ayi aur boli Jasmeen perfume"Rs.7000 .. :)
.
Achanak lift ruk gayi or khuch smell aayi
dono ladkiyon ne apna naak pakda
.
SANTA
ko dekhne Lagi... :@
.
SANTA with smile:- "Muli" 14 Rupey Kilo..
Fighter Pilot Santa
Fighter pilot santa
kamyabi k baad apna jahaaz
land karne pe bohut khush hua..
.
.
Niche utarne pe ground staff ne
usey hatho hath lia
aur uski wardi utarne me help karne lage..
.
.
Santa (fakr se): Aaj maine Pakistan ke
4 jahaaz, 2 helicopter or
1 tank ko mar giraya...
.
.
Ground Staff: Wo sab to theek hai lekin
sir ji apne 1 galti kar di..
.
.
Santa :Kaun si galti?
.
.
Ground Staff: Bas aap isi khushi me
Pakistan me hi
land kar gaye hain...
Police arresting Santa
Santa Road pe potty kar raha tha
Police ne usse pakar liya..
.
.
.
.
Jab usko le jane lage tu Santa bola
kiss binah pr mujhe le ja rahe ho
.
ghan-chakkaro
.
kam se kam Saboot to utha lo..
Ghar Ke Niche Su-Su
Santa 1 ghar ke niche su-sukar raha tha..
.
.
upar se 1 aurat boli: dikhta nahi hai...
humari diwar hai..
.
.
.
Santa bola: thoda side se dekho..
..dikh jayega... :
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Sexy lady in the Market
Once SANTA saw a very sexy lady
in the market
and thought-
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
Kash ye meri MAA hoti
to main bhi itna sundar hota.
Pathan Pappu aur Santa
3 log airpot p khde
apni apni biwiyo ka intezar kr rhe te....:)
.
Pathan- vo dekho hmari shaahzadi aa rhi h....:>
.
.
.
Pappu - vo dekho hmari bhi nawabzadi aa rhi h...:p
.
.
.
.
Santa- vo dekho hmari bhi haramzadi aa rhi h
Santa with a P.H.D
During a job interview:
.
Manager: What's the highest level of education
you obtained?
.
Santa: P.H.D
.
Manager: Great! So that means you have a
Doctor's degree...
.
Santa: Wellll, No... That means
Passed High-school with Difficulties (P.H.D.)
Who was Chandragupta Maurya..
Teacher : Who was chandragupta maurya...???
.
.
.
.
.
Santa : I think he was brother of
.
.
.
.
.
GANPATI BAPPA MAURYA
Santa: Women are like microwaves.
Banta: How? Because they cook food?
Santa: No. Because they are hazardous to our health
Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai
Ek Ladki ki t-shirt pe likha tha:
“Amul the taste of india”
Ye dekh ke..
Santa ne apne pant pe likhwaya:
“KurKure tedha hai per mera hai”
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IODEX
Santa: Baaju k ghar se IODEX maang ke la.
Wife: Wo log nhi denge.
Santa: Haan! Bade kanjoos or kamine log hai Chal Apni hi almaari se nikaal le!
Banta for a post of Detective
A Banta on an interview for the
post of detective was asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Banta - Thanks for giving me the job,
I will investigate.
Santa's with a Stranger
Santa : "I saw my Wife going 2 a movie
with a strange Man."
Friend : "Did u follow them inside?"
"No yaar," replied santa
"I had already SEEN the Movie !"
First man to be kissed
Santa 2 girlfriend: Darling, a
m I the first man you ever kissed?
Girl: Of course, you r.
But, why do all men ask
the same silly question?
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Santa Orders Chicken in a Hotel
“ Santa goes to a hotel and orders chiken
Waiter: french or spanish?
Santa: jehra margi le aa,
main kehra gallan karniya ne
buurrraaaaa! ”
Santa wearing Mosquito net
In battle Santa was wearing
mosquito net instead of bulletproof Jacket
Banta askd why?
Santa replied:"jad machar nahi es
wicho lang skda ta phir goli ki hai"
Free gift with Mineral Water
Banta enters shop & shouts
where is my free gift with this mineral water?
Salesman: Iske saath koi gift nahi hai.
Banta: Oye,ispe likha hai, bacteria free...
One a Donkey kicked a Banta
Once a donkey kickd a Banta n ran away.
Banta ran 2 catch d donkey,
he saw a zebra n strtd beatng it n said
"track suit pehen ke aaya to
mai pahchanunga nahi kya
Santa dies due to lighting
and his dead body is found smiling.
God asks Why?
He replies, “Mainu laaga ke
koi meri photo khich raha hai.”
Past Tense of "THINK'
A friend asks SANTA how was ur exam?
SANTA: It was ok but i couldn't
answer past tense of THINK.
I thought, thought &
finally i wrote 'THUNK'.
Sponsored Links
WASH BASIN
SANTA goes 2 a hotel &
after eating he goes 2 wash his hands,
but start washing the basin
Manager:What r u doing?
SANTA: U have written here "WASH BASIN."
Santa with his lunch box
Santa opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road… why?
Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from office.
Sabko bewakoof bana raha hoon
SANTA kadhai leke bich
raaste khana pakane baitha.
Kadhai khali dekh k logo ne pucha
“saNTAJI kya bana rahe ho?”
saNTA bola,
“Sabko bewakoof bana raha hoon.”
Banta buys a Bottle of Pepsi
Santa asks banta to bring a pepsi.
Banta brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??
Ans: Tendulkar is an opener
Sponsored Links
An Englishman at Lunch
Santa had called an Englishman for lunch.
There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this? s
Santa didn't know English, he said
"Milk sleeping in night,
morning becomes tight"
Labour Room
Santa kept a labour to get assitance in agriculture field.
one day the labour became ill. what did Santa do then?
Ans: He took him to the labour room
of the local hospital so that he can be treated there
Powercut in Delhi
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.
Worst affected was Delhi Metro station
where families of Santa &
Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators
Santa triying to kill a bird
How did santa tried to kill a bird??
He took it to the top of a building
and dropped it from there to die.
Bantaji went 2 bank 4 account opening.
He took 1 form and went
to Delhi 4 filling up the form.
Do u no y ? Bcoz in the form
he saw "write in capital"!!!
Santa swallowed a Key
Santa: I have swallowed a kay.
Doctor: When? Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key,
now I have lost it too.
Sponsored Links
Application form for a Job
Santa was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column Salary Expected :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
Santa lost a Bet on a Match
Santa saw that his friend Banta was very depressed.
"What happened ?" asked Santa .
"Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between
India and England was being shown live on TV.
I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet."
" But thats only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?"
" Yaar, I bet on the highlights too..
Santa crying in a Bar
Santa bar me ro raha tha.
Bar owner: kyon ro rahe ho?
santa bola oye kya karoon
jis ladki ka naam bhoolna chahta hu
uska naam Yaad nahi raha hai
Chor Santa Ka Mobile lekar bhaga
Ek Chor Santa Ka Mobile lekar bhag gaya...
Santa bola bhag le bhag le,
Charger to mere Pass hai!!!
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Paida Mumbai me aur Padai Chennai me
Santa singh: me paida mumbai me hua
magar padai chennai me ki.
Banta singh: phir to school
aane jaane me bahut der lagti hogi.
Santa Singh calling Chandigarh
Santasingh dials a no..
A girl receives it.
Santa: who r u?
Girl: seeta here..
santa oye maine to
chandigarh phne kiya tha,
ye Ayodhya kaise pahunch gaya?
Santa Daru Pite Waqt
Santa (biwi se) peg banane ke baad,
...."pee isey."....
BiWi: Chheee! Kadwa hai!"
Santa Aur tu soc@hti hai ke
main roz mazey karta hoon???
Ek Litre Gaayi Ka Dhoodh
Santa: ek litre gaayi ka dhoodh dena..
Banta: lekin tumhara bartan to bhut chhota hai..
Santa: Theek hai to fir bakri ka de do.
Banta: Shirt K Liye Badhiya Kapda Dikhana?
SaLeSMan: PLAIN Main Dikhau?
Banta: Hawaai Jahaaj Tak Jane Ki Kya Jarurat Hai?
Yahi Dikha Dona.
STD call to Punjab
Santa wanted to do a STD call to Punjab,
he wanted to save @money.
What did he do? He went to Punjab
and made a Local call.
Sponsored Links
Santa's Mobile no.changed
Santa sent S@MS 2 all friends
"Oi, My mobile no. has been changed.
Previously it ws nokia1100, Now its nokia2300.
Hereafter send msgs 2 my new mobile!
Santa on seing Pappu's report card
Do thappad marne chahiye
Santa: Itne kam marks?
Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa,
chalo maine us saale master ka
ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa Caught for Speeding
Santa was caught for speeding
and went before the judge.
The judge: What will you take..
30 days or R@s 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.
Kutte Te Essay
Master: Mein tenu kutte te
essay likhan nu keha si,
Likh k@e kyu nahi liyanda ?
Santa: Ki karda master g,
jidan he mein kutte te
Pen rakhia oh paj geya!!!
Sponsored Links
Police Nick-named
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed
"The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats & beats.
1 kiss ka 50 Rupaye
Santa singh to his friend:
Yar bari mushkil main hoon
mairi bivi mujh say 1 kiss ka 50RS laiti hay
friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay
doosron say to wo 500RS laiti hay.
BANTA running with his pregnent wife
BANTA was running with his pregnent wife,
who was about to deliver,
when SANTA asked him,
O Banta singh, o@ye woti nu ais haal vitch
le ke kithey puj rya vain,
banta singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan,
sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.
Egyptian mummy's accident case
Santa banta looking at Egyptian mummy.
santa:Look @so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case.
Banta: Aaho, truck numbar bhi likha hai.
Banta going with his sister,
Some shouts "Oye, ,mashoka le ker kahan nikle"
banta gets furious & slap him & says" Oye.
mashoka hogi tero. Meri to behan hai"!
Banta Singh checking Car Indicator
Santa singh driving a car,
puts on the indicator and
asks the other to check if it is working.
Banta singh: puts his head out and says...
yes..no..yes..no..yes..no...!!!!
Sponsored Links
What virtue would I be showing?
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man
beating a donkey and stopped him,
what virtue would I be showing?
Santa: Brotherly love.
Shortest Joke?
Q. WHICH IS THE SHORTEST JOKE?
A. SANTA SINGH AND BANTA SINGH PLAYING CHESS.
Banta had a Christmas dream last night
Lil Banta: I dreamed last night
dat u gave me R@s 500 for Christmas.
Banta Singh: Well, as you've
been a good boy lately,
you may keep it.
If you broke your arm in two places
First-aid teacher: What would you do
if you broke your arm in two places?
Lil Banta: I'd never g@o to either place again!
Sponsored Links
Kya Teri Chaddi Mein Hole Hai
Santa- kya teri chaddi mein hole hai??
Banta- nahi Santa-toh tu pehenta kaise hai??
Meri Nahi Toh Kisi Ki Nahi
Santa: Yaar agar ye ladki meri na hui
to mein isse kisi or ki bhi nahi hone dunga.
Banta: Haan yaar tu sahi keh raha hai....
Par agar ye teri ho gayi to tu sabki hone dega???
Izzat Se Aa Bapu
Santa: A Bapu Idhar aa.
Santa's Mom: Beta Bapu Ko Izzat se bulao..
Santa : Ok, A Bapu Izzat se Idhar aa.
Santa smoking in front of Father
Santa was smokin@g in front of his father.
Mom-- oye, papa k samne smoking kr rah h,
santa-- papa hi to h,
petrol pump thodi h jo jal jayega..
Santa, Banta Dono Bhai Same Class Me The
Madam- Tum Don@o Ne Father Name Alag Kyu Likha
Both- Madam Tusi Fir Kahoge Nakal MaarLi, Isliye
Opposite of Aachhar
Ultimate logic of Santa Banta:
What is the opposite of 'Aachaar'?
Santa: Onion.
Banta: How?
Aachaar = Pickle = Pee+kal.
So opposite of 'Pee+kal' is 'Pee+aaj' = Onion
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Amrud Me Kida
Santa Amrud bech rha tha
Banta- Agar amrud me kida nikla to?
Santa-To s@aaf baat hai...
Pahle Hi Bol dete hai
hum kide ke alag Paise Lenge
Santa Daru Pee K
Santa daru pee k tala kholne laga,
hath kapne ki vajah se tala nhi khula,
Banta- mai khol du,
Santa- ma@i khol lunga,
tu ghar ko pakad,
sala bahut hil@ raha hai.
Tense K Prakaar
Teacher:santa tense kitne prakar k hote h
Santa:3
T: very.gud. example batao
Santa:kal@ apki beti ko dekha.
Aaj pyar krta hu.
Kal bhaga k le Jaynga
Flying saucers
Banta: What is the best way
to see flying saucers?
Santa: Pinch the waitress.
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Santa Banta fighting with a Doctor
Santa Banta hosptl@ me ek doctor Se lar rahe the.
doctor:Kya hua?
Banta:Doctr ne operation me orignal Chize
nikal kar china ka dal diya.
T.V Cabel Se Bache Bigad Jate Hain
Santa:doctor ne kha tha k T.V cabel
Se bache khar@ab hote hai aur parhai
B nhi krte,mene cabel katva diya
Batna: Good?
Santa: Ab humne dish TV laga liya
English me jhopdi ko kya kehte h?
Santa-English me jhopdi ko kya kehte h?
Banta- Hut
Santa- English aati nahi to daant te Q ho
Santa ki Mardangi..!!!
Santa: Kal Ek Admi Aurat Ko Peet Raha Tha.
Maine Kaha Mard Se Lado.
Banta: Fir?
Santa: Jab Mujhe Hosh Aaya 2 Main Hospital Me Tha
Doctor :- Tuhaadi patni sirf 24 ghante di mehmaan hai..
SANTA :- Koi gal nai Doctor sahib..
jithe 24 Saal kad le othe 24 ghante hor sahi..
Santa as a Maths teacher
Santa Hotel me Khali Katroi me Roti dubo k kaha rha tha
Waiter- Ye kaise@ khana kaha rhe ho?
Santa- Maine math ka teacher hu daal suppose kari hui hai
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Ghaas Jaise Baal
Santa- Apne Bal ko to Dekho,
Jaise Ghas @Ugi Ho.
Banta- Tabhi toh Main Soch Raha Tha
Ki Mere Pas Ye Jaanwar Kyo Khada Hai.?
Santa ko raat me cigarette peene ka man kiya
Santa ko raat me cigarette peene ka man kiya.
sab taraf machis dhoonda, par kahi nhi mila
.
.
aakhir me nirash hoke candle bujha k so gaya..
Santa's Wife never Argue
Santa: My wife and I never argue.
Banta: Not even when she is right?
Santa: I don`t know. That has never happened with me.
Lady In Church And A Girl In The Bath Tub
Banta: What is the difference between a lady in church
and a girl in the bath tub?
Santa: The lady`s@ heart is full of hope and
the girl`s body is full of soap.
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Santa Aur Banta Baraat Me...
SANTA & BANTA Ek Baraat Me Gye
Vaha Unhe bar-2 Pani Diya Jata Hai
us se Tang Aa Kr
Santa-Halaq Me Pani Phans Gaya Hai
Thode Chaval De Do.
Air hostess to the Passengers
Air hostess to all the passenger.?
Kripya apni -apni belt bandh le..
"santa asked"
Te Bibi jinha ne Pajama payia oh ki kra...?
Santa ki Desh Seva
Tcher-Tum Desh k liya Kya Kya karte ho?
Santa-Pani ki Bachat karta hu
Hafte me sirf 1 bar nahata hu
Santa aur uski Naukrani
Santa-Mujhe 4 baje jaga dena
Naukrani-lekin@ mujhe to time dekhna nahi ata.
Santa-Tum jaga dena,time mai khud dekh lunga.
In an African Safari, a LION
suddenly bounced on Banta’s wife.
Wife- Shoot him@! Shoot him!
Banta- Yes yes wait…
I’m changing d
battery of my camera..
Kyu Kehte Ho Ki Me Murkh Hu?
Santa-Tum Dusaro Se Kyu Kehte
Firte Ho Ki Me Murkh Hu?
Banta-Maaf Karna Yaar,
Muje Nahi Malum Tha
Ki Yeh Baat Gupt Rakhni He
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Santa ki wife ko Jin chimmat jayein
Santaji, Agar aap ki wife ko Jin chimmat jayein...
To aap kya karo@ ge...?
Santaji:Mein ne kya karna hai...
Ghalti Jin ki hai, Khud Bhugtey....
Santa Oxford university ka professor
Santa Oxford university me professor tha
Wah wah@
Santa Oxford university me professor tha
Niche kya dhund rahe ho?
Joke to upar tha.!
Santa Baba Ramdev Ke Pas
Santa Ko Hath@ k Nakhun khane ki adat thi..
Parents ne usko Baba Ramdev ke pas bheja..
Aur Ab Santa
.
.
.
.
.
Pairon ke Nakhun V kha sakta h..!
Hathi Aur Ghoda
Santa and Banta were playing chess
Santa - ab b@as hua hum khel band karte hain
Banta - thik hai , vaise bhi
tumhara ghora aur mera hathi he baki hai.
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Jiski Biwi Moti
Santa: @Mera bahut naam hai.
Banta: Wo kaise?
Santa: Bewakoof,
tune wo gana nahi suna kya?
Banta: kaunsa?
Santa: Arey yaar,
"Jiski Biwi Moti uska bhi bada naam hai"
Santa Ko Phone Par Dhamkiya
Santa:Mujhe phone par dhamkiya mil rahi hai.
Police: kaun woh?
Santa: BSNL wale,
bolte hai bill nahi bhara to kaat denge
IQ of Santa Singh
Deadly IQ OF SANTA SINGH!
Wat's d Opposite of ACHAAR??
A- ONION!
HOW?
A- Achaar=Pickle=Pee-Kal..
So, Opposite of Pee-Kal= Pee-Aaj= Onion!
Santa Ke Ghar Me Chori
Santa Police se:
Kal rat chor m@ere ghar se
TV ke Ilaaava sab samaan le gaye
Police:TV kyon nahi legaya??
Santa:TV to me dekh raha tha is liye..
Banta was talking on telephone.
Friend: "Kis se baat kr rhe ho?"
Banta: "BV se?
Friend@: "Itne pyar se?"
Banta: Tumhari hai..."
Kya Ghar Me Latrine Bani Hai?
Santa:yar tere ghar me latrine bani hai?
Banta:haan@,aur tere ghar me?
Santa:nai yar mere ghar me to
daal chawal bana hai..
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God stay up in heaven?
Santa: Why do God stay up in heaven?
Banta: Because they are afraid of
what they have c@reated!
Santa v/s Sadhu
Santa Sharab Pikar
Sadhu Se Takra Gya
Sadhu Gusse Me-
Aye Murkh
Me T@uje
SHRAAP Deta Hu
Santa-Rukiye
Maharaj
Me Glas
Leke Ata hu
Santa watched a Film
Santa: o yar!
Me kal film dekhne theater gaya!
Wahan such@ much admi ko kat rahe thy
Banta: o tu konse theater gaya tha?
Santa:
“Operation Theatre”
100 Volt K Bulb Par Baap Ka Naam
Banta 100 VOLT K BULB PR BAP KA NAM LIKH RAHA THA...
KISI NE POCHA YE KYA KR RAHE HO?
Banta: BAP KA NAM ROSHAN KAR RAHA HOON..
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Santa kissing on his GF
Santa kissed his GF in park
Gf: Plz ye sab shaadi se pehle
Santa: Oh Soniye Don't worry I'm married
Pani Ko Ullu Banaya
Banta: AAj mae ny PAni ko Ullu bana dia.
Frnd: Pani ko Ullu? Wo kaise?
Banta: Oye!Subah maeny Pani GARAM kiya
or THANDAY pani se NAha liya
Banta Bunks his office
Banta Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
"baap re, boss @ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta".
Banta in a Plane
Air hostess:@ Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye!
R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Banta: 'Chain' hai par khulti nahi hai
Santa throw his mobile in samundar & bola “ Aa aa upar aa”
His friend ask pa@ni me se upar kaise aayega.
Santa bola “ Kyon nahi aayega DOLPHIN jo hai.”
Menu Bird Flue Ho Gaya
Santa Banta ko – Yaar lag raha hai
menu bird flue ho gaya
Banta :-> Tenu keda pata
Santa :-> Yaar mera hai na
kal se udne ko man kar raha hai.
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Oxygen Discovered in 1773
Teacher:Oxygen is must for Breathing .
It was discovered in 1773.
Banta:Thank God I was born after that .
Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata .
Santa ki Biwi Gaon ki
Santa- Sir aap apni patni ko party me kyun nhi le jate?
Boss- Bcoz vo g@aon ki hai.
Santa- sorry sir mujhe laga k vo sirf aapki hai....
Sante Ne Dost Ko Goli Mar Di
Sante ne Apni Biwi ko Dost k sath
ghumte hoye dekh kr Dost ko goli mar di
biwi boli@ - Apne Gusse pe kabu rakho
Varna 1din sare Dosto se Hath dho bethoge.
When taking a bath I get wet
Santa: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.
Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath,
turn off the tap.
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Baccha Nanga Q Paida Hota Hy?
Banta:Baccha Paida hotay samay nanga Q aata hy?
Santa:Us k pas kapde kharedne k liya paise kaha Hota hy
Aankhe Band Karne Par Dikhayi Deta Hai
Santa:Mujhe to aankhe band
karne par b d@ikhayi deta hai
Banta:Acha! Kya dikhta hai?
Santa:Andhera!
Santa in a Restaurant
Waiter gives bill 2 Santa
Santa:Take this card.
Waiter:But s@ir,this is voter card.
Santa:So what?u hav written there-
ALL CARDS ACCEPTED
Tufani barish me Santa
Tufani barish me rat ko pizza hut par
Santa pizza lene gaya..
Waiter : Ap maried hO?..
Santa :...is tufani barish me kya
meri baap muje pizza lene bhejegi.
Santa visits Mysore palace. Guide:
Please don’t sit there, this is Tipu Sultan’s chair.
Santa: Don’t worry, I will get up when he comes.
Pathan doing Brake Dance
Pathan Cycle Ka
Brake hath mein
Lekar nach
Raha Tha
Banta: yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Pathan: oye!
Yara dikhta nahi kya?
BRAKE DANCE!
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Nojwan Aage Bado
Nojwan aage bado. Santa aage nahi bada.
Captain:-tum aage kyun nahi bade.
Santa :-apne kaha 9jawan aage bado
main 10ve number pe hun.
Santa K Na Thakne Ka Raaz
Maalik to Santa: Tu to kehta tha
ke tu thakta nahi hai.
Aaj fir tu sota hua paya gaya hai.
Santa: Mere na thakne ka yahi to raaz hai.
Mummy Ne Kal Murga Banaya
Santa:Meri Mummy Ne Kal Murga Banaya.
Banta:Kinu, Tenu Ke Tere Bapu Nu?
Translate the Sentence
Teachr:Translate-Bazar Me Goliyan Chal Rhi He
Santa:The Tablets R Walking In The Market
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Santa buying Tickets
Santa: Should i buy tickets to my children.
Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.
Santa: Thank god i have only 6 children
Santa To Ricksey Wala
Santa Ricksey wale se :-
Oy Railway Station Jayega.
Reckse wala:- hanji.
Santa:- To jao na yaha kyo khare ho..
Chemical Formula for Water
Water ka formula...!
Tcher-Water ka formula batao
-
Santa-H2 MgCl NaCl HNO3O
-
Tcher-Ye kya hai?
-
Santa-Sir ye Delhi ka pani hai.
Mujse Shadi Krogi
Chuha-mujse shadi krogi?
Sherni-apni aukat me reh.
Chuha-aukat ki baat mat kar,
confidence dekh.
Santa Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya
Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Krdo
K Police Smje Porana Ghr Hy
Santa Ne Dewar Pe Likha
Anarkali Ko Riha Kro
Agar Garmi Lagy To Kya Karo Gay?
Santa se kissi ne poocha k
santa ji agar app ko garmi lagy
to app kya karo gay?
santa bola jenab
hum a.c k pass ja k beth jain gay,
admai ne bola jenab
agar phir bhi appko garmi
lagy to kya karo gay?
santa bola,
jenab tab hum a.c on kar lain gay.
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Santa Ki Tatti
Santa subah Tatti gaya..
Bahut der tak nahi aayi
Usne fir try kiya par nahi aayi
Santa bola are aa q nahi rahi hai!
Me kaun sa tujhe kha jaunga!
Karobaar Jis Mein Munaafa Ho
Santa:
Yaar Koi Aisa Karobaar Bata
Jis Mein Ziada Munaafa Ho?
Banta:
Aisa Kar Sardiyon Main Sasti Baraf
Le Kar Garmiyon Main Baich Dy
Santa Inquiring about Trains
Santa: Express kitne baje ki hai?
TT:1 baje
Santa: local?
TT:9 baje
Santa: maalgadi?
TT:12 baje
TT:jana kahan hai?
Santa: Patri pe potti karni hai...!!
Santa in a Public Toilet
Santa public toilet gaya aur ek gante baad nikla.
Bahar baita jamadar bola- 20rs
Santa- saale... bathroom me baita tha...
koi cyber cafe me nahi...
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Plastic Surgury Ke Liye Do Lakh Rupayee
Santa bahut pareshaan tha usse kisi ne pucha
santa itne pareshaan kyu ho to santa
bola are yaar ek dost ko plastic surgury ke
liye 2 lakh rupayee diye the
ab phechan nahi paa raha hoo
Dubai Me Sub Kuch Free
SANTA: DUBAI me sub kuch FREE hai
TAXI
HOTEL
KHANA
PINA
YAHA TAK
SEX BHI
FREE HAI
BANTA : are yaar TU kub gaya tha
SANTA; mai nahin meri biwi jakar ayi hai
Santa hitted a Girl on a cycle
Santa was riding a cycle n hit a girl!
Girl shouted- 'Ghanti nahi maar sakta tha???'
Santa replied- 'Poori cycle to maar di!
Ab ghanti alag se maaroon kya!!'
Agar Tum Jungle Me Bhatak Jao
Fauji officer- Jawan agar tum
jungal me bhatk jao to kya karogay ?
Santa - Sir, hum GEEDAR dhund k
marne ki koshish karenge.
Officer - wo kyu ?
Santa - Sir, jab GEEDAR ki maut aati hai
to shehar ki tarf bhagta hai,
aur hum us k piche - 2 shehar aa jaenge
Doctor: App k bachhe ki taang katni pdegi
Santa: Pehle btana tha
me bache ke new shoes nhi leta
Bill Gates - Tussi Bade Pagal Ho
Santa To Bill Gates:- Tussi Bade Pagal Ho!!
Bill Gates:- How????????
Santa:- Surname "Gates" Rakha Hai...
Aur Bussiness "Windows" Ka Karte Ho???
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Jab Musharraf Paida Hua
Musharraf_ Jab mein paida hua to 51 topen chali thi..
Santa- Kamal hai! Sabka nishana chook gaya?
Santa Jab Rota Tha To...
Santa to Banta -mei bachpan may bohat taqat war tha..
Banta- wo k se?
Santa- meri Maa kehti hy k
jab mei rota tha to sara ghar sar py utha leta tha..
Once Santa knocking a door
Santa knocks d door.
a 10yr old boy cum wid
cigratte & beer in other.
Santa: beta papa ghar pe hai
Boy: bhutni k,
mujhe dekh k lagta hai,
k papa ghar pe honge?
Santa Aur Banta Pj
Santa- 1+1=3 karna ho to? do ki shadhi karwa do
Banta- 1+1=11 karna ho to? do ka nikha karva do
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Cheez Jinhe Nashte Me Nhi Kha Skte
Teachar-2 aisi cheezo k naam batao,
jinhe nashte me nhi kha skte
Santa-Sir,LUNCH AUR DINNER
Santa ko teen bomb mile
Santa ko 3 bomb mile, police ko dene chala.
Saathwala aadmi bola-agar koi bomb
raaste mein fatt gaya toh?
Santa-Jhooth bol denge ki 2 hi mile they!
Santa Looking at the bills
Santa: Look at these bills: rent,
telephone, electricity, shopping, etc.
The costs are going up on all of them.
I would be very happy if just one thing went down.
Pappu: Dad, see my report card
Tu Mujhe Bewakuf Kyun Banata Hai ?
Banta to santa -tu hamesha mujhe
bewakuf kyun banata hai ?
Santa- kyunki tu BANTA hai..
Grl-Will u marry me?
Santa-No,Hmare me shadi relatives me hi hoti he,
Maa ne papa se ki,
Didi ne jijaji se
or me b apni BV se hi kruga
Banta ki apni biwi se ladayi
Santa: Biwi se ladai khatm hui?
Banta: Ghutne tek k mere pas aai thi
Santa : usne ghutne tek k kya kaha
Banta : yahi ki bed k niche se nikal aao,
me kuch nhi kahungi
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Santa Ghode par savar....
Santa horse par ja raha tha.
Voh red light jump karta hai.
Police vala siti bajata hai.
Santa ghode ki tail opar kar
ke kehata hai: Le karle number note.
Santa ki Biwi ka Birthday Gift
Banta: Tumne apni patni ko birthday par diamond ring kiyon di?
Voh to car chahti thi na?
Santa: Par mein nakali car kahan se le ke ata?
Santa studying infront of Mirror
Santa sheeshe k samne beth kar study kar raha tha
why?
coz of 3 reasons
1. dobara revision na karna pare...
2. apne uper nazar rahe...
&
3. He likes combine study....
Santa ka Radio
Santa ka RADIO kharab ho gaya,
khol k dekha to ander CHUHA mara hua tha,
dekh ke santa bola: AE lo,
SINGER to mar gaya..
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Me Ajnabiyon Se Baat Nahi Krta
PASSENGER:tumne mere jeb me haath kyu dala?
SANTA: muje Machis chahi thi
PASSENGER: tum muz se maag shakte the
SANTA: mei ajnabi se baat nahi karta
Banta running with his cycle
Banta was running with his cycle.
Person- Y ru running wid cycle?
U can sit & ride d cycle!
Banta- Arrey bahut jaldi mein hoon!
Baithne tak ki bhi fursat nahi hai.. ;-)
Santa in Kaun Banega Crorepati
KBC me Amitabh- Wat's ur father's name??
Santa- [kuch bola nahi]
Amitabh- Jawaab dijiye!
Santa- Sir option to dijiye!! ;-)
Santa aur Kauwa
Santa Water-Tank Saaf Karne Ke Liye
Apne Ghar Ki Chhat Par Gaya.
Water-Tank Par Ek Kauwa(Crow) Baitha Tha.
Santa Jaldi Se Neeche Utra Aur Seedhi (ladder) Hata Lee,
Aur Kauwe Se Bola, Beta, Main To Neeche Utar Gaya,
Ab Bina Seedhi Ke Tu Neeche Kaise Utrega
Jyotishi :santa ka hath dekhar-
Beta tum Bahut padoge
Santa: Saale Pad to main teen saal se raha ,
yeh bata ki pass kab hunga
Banta coming from Jalandhar
Banta Ki Maa- Puttar Tujhay Yahan Se
Jalindhar Janay Mein 1 Din Laga
Aur Wapas Aanay Mein 3 Din
Wo B Naye Car Se?
Banta : Maa Ye Car Bananay Wale Bhi Pagal Hein
Janay K Liay 4 Gear
Or Aanay Ke Liay Sirf 1 (Reverse) Gear.
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Santa Ka Na samaj Pyar
Santa ji aapko kabhi kisise pyar hua hai
Santa-han,par woh manti hi nahin
kya bolti hai?
Santa - bolti hai i love u 2
par yeh dusra kaun hai?
Banta selling Parashut to a Customer
Banta selling Parashut : Plane se kudo,
Button Dabao, Aur aap zamin pe safely land!
Custmer : Agar Parashut na khula to?
Banta : O G paise wapas.
Sher Par Maa Durga Ki Sawaari
Santa: Tu office mein toh
bada sher bana ghumta hai,
ghar par kya ho jata hai?
Banta: Hota toh sher hi hoon
par DURGA sawar ho jaati hai…
Santa v/s American
American: Hamare desh me war
hogaya.
Santa: Hamare india me tho roz war
hotha hai!
American: o kaise?
Santa: Somwar. Mangalwar. Budhwar.
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Santa Jungle Mein Susu Karne Gaya
Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein
susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.
Banta: Phir kya hua?
Santa: Maine Sher se kaha,
“Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”?
Ek Rupay Ka Kela
Santa: Kela kitne ka hay?
Kelay wala: 1 rupay ka ek.
Santa Ji: Kela 60 paisay ka do gay?
Kelay wala: 60 paisay ka
Kelay ka chilka milay ga.
Santa Ji: Ok! ye lay 40 paise
kela mujhe day chilka to rakh.
Banta Ne Nayi Car Li
Santa: Tumnay new car kb li?
Banta: Ek din ek larki mujhey
apni car mai bhita kar lay gai,
aur kapray utar kar boli
jo chahiye lay lo, maine car lay li
Santa: Changa keeta kapray ki karnay siii..
Agar Nariyal K Ped Pe Chhad Jaun
Santa- Agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun
to Engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- Zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to
medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi..
Hindi teacher asks- KAAL kitne prakar ke hote hai?
SANTA -7 prakar k
Local kaal, STD kaal,
ISD kaal, Missed kaal,
Receivd kaal, Dialled kaal
and..... sas-triya kaal,
Santa Ke Hath Me Sarkar
santa- agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
me desh ki taqdir badel dunga.
wife-tum pehle apna pajama to badal lo subha
se ulta pehn rakha hai.
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Sar-Dard Ki Goli
Santa ped k upar ulta latka huya tha.
Banta- tu ped par kyo latka hai.
Santa- Sar-dard ki goli khayi thi,
kahi pet me na chali jaye, ISLIYE
Santa having Brain Tumer
Dr: aapko brain tumer hai
Santa: oh great news(khush khabari)
Dr: aap itne khush kaise hai ?
Santa: isase yah saabit hota hai
ki mere paas dimag to hai
Kya tumhe ladki fasani aati hai ...?
Santa- ladki fasani aati hai
Banta- nahi aati
Santa- pehle kagaj ka jahaj bana
phir use class room me udha de
jab madam puche to ladki ka nam laga de---
bas fas gai ladki
Stealing in Ram's House
Santa and Banta went to steal in Ram's
house at night when he is sleeping
Santa drops a plate
Ram :kaun hai?
Santa: meow
Banta drops a plate
Ram : kaun hai?
Banta : ek aur billi
Sponsored Links
Aapko Taanke Lagane Aate Hai
Santa: DOCTOR, AAPKO TAANKE LAGANE AATE HAI.
DOC: HAA AATE HAI,KAHA LAGANE HAI?
Santa: YE LO MERI CHAPPAL PE LAGA DO...
Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?
Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?
Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.
Sir:Wo Kaise?
Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai
Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!
Santa Ki Amma ka Dehant
Santa Ki Amma Mar Gayi-
1Admi Bola
Amma Mujhe B LeJati
2-4 Or Bole:Amma Hme B Le Jati.
Santa:Chup Ho Jao
KUTO
Amma Kya
Tata-Sumo Krke Gyi hai...?
Santa Ki Chatri Me Hole....
Santa ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Santa bola: Oye barish ruk jayegi
to pata kaise chalega.
Banta: Pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: Yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: Yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: Lekin biwi ko nahi pata.
Santa winning lottery worth rs.20cr
Santa won loottery worth rs.20cr...
dealer gave him 11cr after deducting tax ....
santa : oye dealer ...
ya muje pure 20cr dede
ya to mere 20rs vapas kar de...
Sponsored Links
Santa's 1st operation
Santa comleated his MBBS & did his 1st operation
soon after finishing, the patient died
he prayed: Bhagavan mera pehla "Gift" swikar karo.
Santa’s donkey was missing
Santa’s donkey was missing.
Santa was praying and thanking God.
Banta saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing;
Why are you thanking God?”
Santa: I am thanking Him because
I wasn’t riding the donkey at that time,
otherwise I would also have been missing.
Techer complaining Santa about his Son
Teacher: Apka beta cigarate peeta hai.
Aap kabhi use puchhte nahi?
Santa: Haan, puchhta hoon,
par mujhe kabhi deta hi nahi.
Santa Meets His Friend Banta
Santa Meets His Friend Banta After A Long Tym
Santa: A and B, A and B, A and B, A and B, A and B
Banta: Oye Is Ka Matlab ... ???
Santa : Kuch Nahi Yaar, I Meant Long Tym No C ...
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Santa Ko Beta Paida Hua
Nurse-mubarak ho aapke
ghar beta paida huwa hai
Santa- wah g wah kya technology hai
BV meri hospital me hai aur
baccha ghar paida huwa hai.
Romantic Pravachan
Santa pravachan sun ne gaya,
ghar aaker biwi ko god me utha liya,
biwi boli kya baat hai
pravachan me romantic karne ko bola hai.
santa bola, nhi pagli bola hai ki
apne dukho ka bhaar khud uthao...
I Am Going Ka Matlab
Santa- “i m going” ka kya matlab hota hai?
Banta(khub soch ke)- “me ja raha hu.”
Santa(gusse me)- “oye! nahi jaane doonga.
pehle matlab bata.”
Shaadi Me Hijdo Ki Badhai
Hijde shaadi me badhai dene gaye!
Hijda 1- Hay hay! Main to 1100 loongi!
Hijda 2- Main 2100 loongi!
Santa- Arre 2310 lo! Usme FM bhi hai!
Santa bike se ja raha tha,
ladki ko dekh kar achanak gir gaya
ladki oh my god lagi toh nahi?
Santa-o nai soniye hum toh
aise hi bike se utarte hai
If you had 100Rs in your pocket
Maths teacher to santa,if u had 1000Rs
in ur pocket and 1000Rs in d other pocket,
wat would u think ?
Santa: YEH PANT KIS KI HAI.
Sponsored Links
Meri Aankhen Dhang Se Nahi Khulti
Santa: Yaar meri aankhen kabhi
dhang se nahi khulti,
koi tarika toh batao.
Friend: Kisi din achanak
apne ghar bedroom mein chale jao,
aakhen khuli ki khuli reh jayengi..
Parrosiyon Ka Bacha Gum Ho Gya
Santa: Aaj mere parrosiyon ka bacha gum ho gya..
Friend: Phir tum ne kya kiya?
Santa: Maine un se kaha 'google' pr search kar lo.. ;-)
Shadi Me Dulhan ka Pehla Mangetar
1 Shadi Me Dulhan ka 1st
Mangetar b saj K aaya huwa tha
Santa-Ap Dulha he
Usne kaha G Nai Mai
Semi Final Me Out Ho Gya Tha
Final Dkhne Aya Hu
Santa selling Angoors
Santa Angoor bech rha tha Magar Keh rha tha
"Aalu Le Lo Aalu"
BANTA: Ye to Angoor he
Santa: Chup ho ja Warna Makkhiya Sun legi
Sponsored Links
Santa Ki Apne Baap Se Ladai..
Santa ki ladai apne baap se ho gayi
To usne apne baap ki photo
kabristan me 1 ped pe latka diya
Aur Niche Likha
"COMING SOON”
Santa Ki Door Ki Nazar Kharab
Santa-Yaar Meri Door Ki Nazar Kharab Hai,
Chashma Lena Padega
Banta-Wo Kya Chamak Raha Hai?
Santa-Suraj
Banta-Sale Aur Kitne Dur Dekhega
Soup Me Makhi
Santa Ka Dhaba !
Customer: Mere Soup Me Makhi Doob Kar Mari Padi Hai.
Santa: To Kya Karu, Dhaba Chalau Ya Inhe Tairna Sikhau
Raaz Par Musibat...
Santa: RAAZ Par Jo Musibat aayi hai
Uske Bare me Tumne Suna kya?
Banta-
Nahi to ki hoya?
Santa: Are Meri biwi Uske Sath Bhag Gai hai
S-Mere Uncle Ko Marne Se Phle
Mrne Ki DATE Pata Thi
B-Kaise
S-Judge Ne Batai
Thanda Piyoge ya Garam
Santa To Guest: Thanda Piyoge ya Garam
Guest: Dono le aao
Santa: 1 Glass Freezer se Aur
1 Glass Geyser se Pani ka le Aao
Sponsored Links
Sham Singh Ka Mobile
Nepali-ye sham singh ka mobile kaha milega?
Santa-pta nahi
Nepali-itni bari company hai or
apko pta ni
santa ko baad me pta laga wo samsung keh raha tha..
School me Santa
SANTA g school mein 1 white aur
1 black shoes pehan kar chaly gay
principal ne SANTA g ko bolaya or
kaha ghar ja k shoes chang kar k ao
SANTA g boly koi faeeda nahi sir
ghar mein b 1 white or 1 black hi hai
Santa Road Se Gujarte Hue
Santa road se gujar raha tha.
usne road se kuch uthaya aur chillaya.
haramjade log tatti bhi aise karte hai jaise
samosa pada ho.
Banta ka apni Biwi ko Talak
Santa: Yaar tune apni Biwi ko Talak kyu diya?
Banta: Yaar wo badi character less thi.
Shaadi mujhse ki aur Baccha Bhagwan se mangti thi
Sponsored Links
Santa Ki Jan Lene Ka Yumdut
Santa:aisi jindagi se to maut achhi.
achanak yamdut aya aur bola: tumari jan lene ka hukam he.
Santa:lo batoa aab insan majak bhi nahi kar sakta..
Santa getting trouble on the Phone
Santa ko koi mobile pe tang kar raha tha
santa ne naya sim kharid kar use msg kia
mene wo sim band kar diya hai
ab tera baap bhi muje tang nahi kar sakata
Santa Slapping the Phone Operator
Santa Went To A
STD/ISD/PCO Shop And
Slapped The Operator Twice.
Guess Why ?
Bcoz There It Was Written
“number Dial Karnay Se Pehley Do Lagain”
Santa and Banta robbed a bank
Gang of Santa- Banta broke a bank,
but instead of cash they find
bottles of chilled red wine...
happily they drink and left
next day headline
~ Braking News ~
"Blood Bank Robbed"
Santa ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle
aaloo lene gaya tha
abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector banta bola:-
to behan kuch or paka lo.
Santa ki Pitai
Snta-Aaj Pitaji Ne Pitai Kar Di
Bnta-Kyu
Snta-Maine To Sirf Itna Pucha Tha Ki
"KAMINE..
Film Dekhne Chal Rahe Ho Kya..
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Santa ke Pappa Ki Umar
Bnta- Tmhare Papa Kitne Saal K He
Santa- Jitne Saal Ka Mai Hu
B- Kaise
S- Jis Din Mai Paida Huwa
Usi Din To Wo Papa Bane
Santa Ki Chappal
Snta Ki Chappal Chori Ho Gyi
Wo Qabristan Paucha Or Waha Baith K Kehne Laga
Chor Ko Kaha Dhundne Jaye Ek Na 1 Din To Yaha Ayega Hi..
Banta Ki Ghadi
SANTA-Time Kya Hua H?
BANTA: 2
S-Apki Ghadi Radio Se Mili H?
B-Ji Nhi Sasural se
Santa Ke Beta Ka Naam
Santa ki 10 betiya thi phir ja
kar uske ghar ek beta hua.
Santa ne uska naam kya rakha hoga?
MUSHKIL SINGH. !
Sponsored Links
Santa Homogiri Se Pareshan
Santa-Jabse ye homogiri legal ho
gayi hai mai bahut pareshan hu..
Banta-why..?
Santa-Arre, kya pata
mera nalaayak beta
kal BAHU layega ya JAMAAI..?
Boyfrnd-girlfrnd kya hota hai??
Santa-Boyfrnd-girlfrnd kya hota hai ?
Banta-Kuch nahi bas ladka-ladki hote hai,
jisme ek muskurati hai
Aur ek kharcha karta rehta hai.
Banta Ke Ghar Chor
Santa-kaha ja rahe ho?
Banta-Police Station,
Mere ghar chor aya he
Santa-BV ko akela chod dia
Banta-Nhi,usne chor ko baho me jakad rakha hai.
I Love You K Msg
Santa-Aaj tere cell pe bade
"I Luv U" k msg aa rahe hai.!
Kya baat hai?
Banta-(Fakr ke saath)"O kuch nahi ji,
Aaj BIWI ka cell laya hu na..
Santa:Mai Gana gata hu to tumara Kutta bhokne lgta h
Banta:Isme mere Kutte ki galti nhi,
Bhokna pehle tumne shuru kiya hoga
Banta doing P.G.D.C.A
SANTA: Aaj Kal Tu Ki Kar Rha h
BANTA: PGDCA
S:Wo Ki honda ae
BANTA:
Papa G De Cash pe Aish
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Ek Ladki muje hans ke
Santa:
"Yaar 1Ladki muje hans ke dekh rhi h"
Frnd:"Abe Dhyan se dekh,
Hans k dekh rhi h ya dekh k hans rhi h"
Building Pr Bina Hafe Chad Sakta Hu
Banta: Mai Samne Wali Building pr bina Hafe Chad skta hu
SANTA: Nhi Chad skte!
BANTA: Agar chad jau toh kya doge?
SANTA: dhakka.!
Santa Ki Biwi Ghar Chodkar Bhag Gai
Santa: yaar meri biwi ghar chodkar bhag gai..
Banta: tune use pyar se nahi rakha hoga,
santa: nahi yar sagi behan se bhi badkar rakha tha..
Office Me Santa aur Banta
Santa=Tum Is Office Me kab Se Kaam kr rhe Ho.?
Banta=Jab Se Boss ne Mujhe Nikalne ki Dhamki Di He.
Sponsored Links
Paanch Rupya De De Oh Sundari
Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon,
paanch rupya de de
Santa to his wife: De de, De de,
tujhe sundari bola hai
to har haal main ye andha hai.
Kutte Dar K Bhag Jate He
Banta-Mai gali se jab guzarta hu
to KUTTE mujhse dar k bhag jate he
Santa-Apne BOSS se to har koi darta he
Santa vs Autowala
Autowala: Sab 30 rupiya hua.
Santa: Ye le 15 rupee.
Autowala: Ye to beymani hai
Santa: Abe beymani kaisi,
tu b to baet k aya hai, adha tu de.
Banta Ke Hello Tunes
Santa-Maine Tumhara No. Kitni Baar Try Kiya
But Tumhara Mobile "SWITCH OFF" Tha
Banta-Abe Wo Meri "HELLO TUNES" Hai
Santa: uth...uth...bhukamp aa raha h..
Banta: soja.. soja.. makaan girega to
makaan maalik ka girega,
hum to kirayedar hain...
Santa ne apni biwi ko....
SANTA- maine apni biwi ko 12th karwayi
Fir B.Sc,Fir M.Sc,Fir usko job b lagwa di.
Ab OR kya karWAU?
BANTA- acha sa ladka dekh k shadi b karwa de
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Aniversary Par Santa ka Gift
Aniversary Par Santa Apni Biwi
K Liye Gulab Ka Phul Le Kar Aya
Biwi:Muje Yeh Nahi Chahiye
Koi Sone Ki Cheez Do
Santa:Ye Le Takiya Aur So ja.
Santa seeking for a Challenge
Santa ne Banta se kaha,”
Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali
chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.
Banta Ki Murgi Mar Gayi
SANTA-KYU RO RAHE HO
BANTA- MERI MURGI MAR GAYI
SANTA- TO KYA HUYA MERA BAAP BHI MARA THA
LEKIN ME NHI ROYA
BANTA -ABE TERA BAAP KYA ANDE DETA THA
Santa Troubling a Girl
Santa- Ladki ko chidate hue,
or sohneo ki Haal chal hai twade?
Ladki-(Gusse me) jo teri bhen ka hai,
Santa-(hass ke) wo to maa banne wali hai.
Sponsored Links
Santa aur Banta k bich Ladai
Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..
Banta- Saale main tere kapde phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!
Santa- Dekh serious ladai me Romantic baat mat kar!!!!
Santa ka 60th Janamdin
Santa 60th B'day
Bnta-Ye Cake Pe bulb Q lagaya he?
Snta-60 Candls lagane Me Mushkil
ho Rhi thi Isliye 60Watt k bulb laga diye
Aisi Ki Tesi Kab Hoti Hai...
Santa= Aisi ki tesi kab hoti hai.
Kab lagta hai ki ab to
bhagwan v nahi bacha saakta.
Banta= Jab loose motion lage
ho aur pajame ka naada na khule...
Banta ka Itwar ko Paida hona
Santa:tu kis din paida hua?
Banta: itwar ko
Santa: chal jhute,
us din to chhuti hoti hai.\\\
Santa-: Yaar nave surf naal apna kachha dhota si..
Sala chuttran kolo tight ho gya, hun ki kara..!!
Banta-: Aida kar, ohi surf naal apne chuttar dho lai..
"Hips" Pe Essay
Ek baar exam me question aaya-
HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha
tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!!
Sponsored Links
Santa Ke Papa Kuwe Me
Santa : Kal papa Kuwe me Gir gaye,
Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla rahe the.
Banta : Ab Kaise hai?
Santa : Thik hi Honge,
Kal se Kuwe se Koi Awaaz Nahi aayi Na.
Santa's Wife died yesterday
Santa - My wife died yesterday..
I'm trying to cry but tears are not come out,
what to do?
Banta - No Problem.
Just Imagine she Came Back. :D
Koi Apni Jagah Se Nahi Hilega
Santa bag lekar bus me ghusa..
Aur zor se chillaya-
.
.
"KHABARDAR!!
KOI APNI JAGAH SE NAHI HILEGA!!
.
.
Santa Singh
KULFIWALA KHUD SABKE PAAS AAYEGA!!!!" ;-)
Santa marrying a Nurse
Santa ki sadi nurse se ho jati hai
Banta ek din santa se mila
pucha yar kasi hai tumare bibi
Santa: yar mere baat hi nahi sunti
jab tak use mai sister na bulau.
Sponsored Links
Achha Hua Me America Me Paida Nahi Hua
Santa : Yaar Achha Hua
Me India Me Paida Hua
America Me Nahi
Banta : Q America Me
Hota To Kya Hota ?
Santa : Tu B Na
Muje English Kaha Aati Hai
India 14th August ko aazad nahi hua
Santa: bhagwan ka shukar hai ki
India 14th August ko aazad nahi hua..
Banta: Kyun??
Santa: Are yaar, Phir hum 15th
August kaise manaate ?
Santa aur Uski G.F ki shhadi
Santa: main aur meri girlfriend
shaadi kar rahe hain.
BANTA: wow kab?
SANTA: meri 7 dec ko aur uski 13 jan ko.
Santa Jb Biwi Ko Kiss Karta Hai
Santa: Dr.sahab main jb
BV ko kiss karta hu to
us k muh se Smell aati hai.
Dr.“kamal hai jb mainne check kiya tha
tb to lipstick ki khushbu aarahi thi
One Santa plays Holi every Sunday.
Man: why you play Holi on every Sunday?
Santa: because Sunday is Holi-day..
Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai
Santa
Jaldi se 1 Glass Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai
Peny Ke Bad
1 Glass aur do Larai Hone Wali Hai
Juice Wala
Larai Kb Hogi?
Santa:Jab To Iske Paise Mange ga
Sponsored Links
Ye Khushiyan Kya Hoti Hain?
Santa Banta se:
Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hain?
Banta:
Pata nahi bhai,
meri to kam umar me hi shadi ho gayi thi..
Santa slapping a Pilot in a Plane
SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA..
PLANE RUNWAY PER DOR RAHA THA..
SANTA NE PILOT KO THAPPAD MARA OR BOLA..
ABE SALE DEER HO RAHI HAI OR
TU BY ROAD JA RAHA HAI....
Santa Naha te hue bahar aaya
Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,
santa nanga hi bahar aa gaya dost-
kuch to pahen leta yaar,
santa bhag k andar gaya or
“chappal pahen kar aa gaya.
Santa entering in a Ladies Toilet
By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet,
All the ladies stood up. santa -BAITHO-BAITHO,
IZZAT DIL ME HO BAS YAHI KAAFI HAI...|||"
Sponsored Links
Santa Aur Banta ki Race
Santa:chal race lagate hain,
jo harega wo rs.1000 dega.
Banta :thik hai par mujhe rasta nahi pata .
Santa:bas tu mere peece peeche rehna.
Banta :thanx bhai.
Santa in an Examination Hall
Santa ko exam mein koi sawal
ka answer nahin aata tha,
santa ne har sawal ke neeche /////////
lines laga di or likha
Scratch kar ke answer padh lena.
Santa listening a song on a Radio
Santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha
papa kehte hai bada naam karega.
Maa - bijli ka bill kya tera baap bharega..
Banta ke Ghar Light Chali Gayi
Ek Raat light chali gayi
SANTA: Aree yaar pankha to chala doo,
Banta: Kar dii na paglo wali baat?
pankha chala diya to mombati bhuj nai jayegi.
Santa:-Yaar Ans sheet pe kya likhun??
Banta:-Yehi Ki
"IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GAYE ANS KALPNIK HAIN
JINKA KISI BHI BOOK SE KOI SAMBANDH NAHIN HAI"
Santa burning a bulb
Banta: Santa, Bulb Jalana
Santa Bulb nikaal kar
Gas Stove par rakh deta hai
Bulb jal gaya
Sponsored Links
See you at night!
Santo Office Jaa raha tha
Preeto(Pyar se boli): See you at night!
Santa (Gusse se): Dhamki kise de rahi ho
mein bhi tujhe dekh lunga.
Santa Interview K Liye Gaya
Santa interview k liye jata hai.
Boss- aapka janm kahan hua hai?
santa- tiruvantpuram.
Boss- spelling batao?
santa- nahi - nahi goa me hua tha.
Santa ke Baap ka Dehaant
Santa: Mere Father ka dehant ho gaya
akhbaar me Shok Sandesh dena hai
Banta: Aap Hindustan Kesari me de.
isme abhi 1 +1 scheme hai.
Aap ke father ke sath
aapka free chhap denge.
Banta drinking a Soup in a Restaurant
Ek Banta Restaurant me soup Pi raha Tha.
Boy : Banta G Soup Wich Makhi Ae....
Banta : Dil wadda Kar Yaar.
Makhi ne Kina Pee lena ae.
Sponsored Links
Colgate Me Namak Hai
Banta khana bana raha tha
aur pucha 'namak kidar hai'?
Santa : namak nahi hai.
Banta : toh Dal mein kya daalu?
Santa : "COLGATE" dalo, usme Namak hai.
Banta ki Bitch Per Sair
Banta: yaar me kal
Bitch per ghoomane gaya tha.
Santa: Ajib baat hai,
tu kutti per baith kar
ghoomane gaya phir bhi usne katta nahi
Banta In a Art Gallery
Banta In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir
ko aap modern art kahte hai?
Art Dealer: Mere bap tu dimag
mat laga, ghar ja, ye aaina hai..
Santa Banta talking on a phone
Santa: Kahan se bol rahe ho?
Banta: Mobile se.
Santa: Main puchh raha hun
konsi jaga se bol rahe ho.
Banta: Muhn se bol raha hun.
Santa Delhi se Meerut ja raha hota hai
Suddenly Santa bolta hai: Jaldi chalao,
fast nahi to hame kachhe raste se jana parega
Driver: Kyon
Santa: are bewkoof padha nahi,
Ye sarak to Haridwar jaane wali hai,
pata nahi kabh chali jaye
Santa ke Income Ka Source
Banta to Santa: Tumhaare income ka source kya hai
Santa: Maine apne upper ka portion
kisi ko rahane kiraye par diya hai
Banta:kamaal hai wo pure din
tumaher upper kaise rahata hai
Sponsored Links
Santa Ke Judwa Bachche
NURSE-AAPKE JUDWA BACHCHE HUE HAIN.
SANTA-YE TO HONA HI THA.
PROGRAMME HI AISE HI DEKHTI THI-KBC2,
INDIAL IDOL2.DHOOM2.
NURSE-ACHCHHA HUA K DELHI6 NAHI DEKHI.
Santa Banta Taazi Hawa Khane
Banta: chal bahar chalte hai,
taazi hawa kha kar aate hai
Santa: Tu chal me
Chammaj Plate lekar aaya
Santa Ki Maa Ki Tabiyat Kharab
Santa ki Maa Ki tabiyat kharab thi,
Hospital gaye to Doctor ne kaha ki "Test" Hongi.
Santa: Inki umar zyada hai
test nahi One-Day ya T-20 karwa lo
Santa Ka Sher Se Saamna
Santa: kal mera sher se saamna ho gaya
Banta: Phir kay hua
Santa: maine TV band kar di
Banta: Kyon vo to TV Main tha na
Santa: Ye to main samajhata hun,
us jaanvar ko kya pata TV h
isase bahar nahi nikalte
Sponsored Links
Mahila Cricket Player Ka Naam
Banta: Tum Cricket dekhate ho
Santa: Han
Banta: Kisi Mahila Cricket Player ka naam batao
Santa: Simple, Mahila Jayewardane
Santa ke Dada 1947 Ki Jang Me
Santa:Mere dada ne 1947ki jang me
dushman ki taange kat di thi
Banta:Gardne Q nahi kati
Santa:Wo pehle se hi kati padi thi.
Santa's G.F in a Romantic Mood
Santa Ki Gf Romantic Mood mai thi
usne santa se kaha mere gahr koi nahi hai aa jaao
Santa-tu mere ghar aaja mere ghar sab log hain.
Tera man lag jaayega.
Banta Par Shani Ki Dosh
Jyoitishi: Tere upper shani ki dosh hai
1100/ do, dasha hata dunga
Banta: Mere pass nahi hai
Jyotishi: To 101/ de do
Banta: Nahi hai
Jyotishi: 11/ de do
Banta: Abhi to nahi hai
Jyotishi: phir chinta mat karo
Rahu Ketu Shani tino milkar bhi
tumhara kya bigaar lenge
Santa: Upperwale ki daya se
teen larkiyon ke baad mere larka hua hai
Banta: Yaar tumhare upper kaun rahata hai
Santa ki Shaadi
Santa-Tum Meri Shadi Mai Aaoge Na?
Banta-Mai Un Logo Mai Se Nahi,
Jo Musibat Ke Waqt Dost ko Akela Chhod De.
Main Zarur Aaunga.
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Santa as a Chemist
Banta: Ek sar dard ki goli dena
Santa Chemist: Thora sochane ke baad,
Sar dard hone ki to koi goli nahi aati
Santa ke Ghar Guest
Santa: Beta 2 Bistar kyun lagaye?
Son: Ghar Pe 2 Guest ane hai.
Santa: Kaun?
on: Mummy ka Bhai aur mera Mama.
Santa: Fir 1 or laga,
Mera Sala bhi aa rha hai!
Santa Ordering Pakora to Halwai
Santa: 1 Kg Pakora dena
Halwai ne jaise hi tel me garm karke nikala
Santa: Abe kanjoos,
sirf Pani me dho ke de raha hai,
kuch surf saboon to dal deta
Santa joins as Accountant
Santa joins as accountant
Wo Pen ke sath scissors bhi le jata hai
pucha kyon
Santa: Mujhe Cheque bhi to Katane hai
Sponsored Links
Santa Office Jate Waqt...
Santa: Office jate waqt Rumal,
Chasma & Mobile bhool gaya
Niche se wife ko bola de do
Wife ne Chasma phenka toot gaya,
Mobile phenka toot gaya
Santa: Tum rahne do
me rumaal lene upper hi aa raha hun
Santa ki Kamjori
Santa: Mujhe kamjori mehsoos ho rahi hai
Banta: Tum bharpoor desi ghee khao
1- 2 din baad
Banta: ab kaise ho
Santa: Waise hi hoon,
Bharpoor Brand ka
koi ghee aata hi nahi
Banta calling FM radio
Banta calls FM radio:
I'v found sm1 named
Kamaljit's wallet wid Rs. 15K.
RJ: Sir! U wnt 2 retrn d wallet?
Banta: Ni pagal! I wnt 2 dedicate
a sad song 2 him.;-)
Santa Sharab Pe Kar Ghar Lauta
Raat ko Santa P K lauta;
Biwi ki daant se bchne kliye
bdi si Kitab lekr pdhne lga
Biwi-P K aye ho?
Santa-Nahi To!
Biwi-Phir Suitcase
khol kr kya bak2 kr rhe ho
Ek deewar par likha tha '
Yaha kutte susu karte hain'
Santa ne waha susu kiya.
Fir muskura kar bola-ise kehte hai dimaag,
susu maine kiya naam kutte ka aaya.
Dil Ki Dharkan Taiz Ho Jaye
Galfriend to Snta- Kuch aisa kaho
Ke Dil ki Dharkan Taiz ho jaye
Snta- Bhago 2mhara Bhai Aa Raha Hai.
Sponsored Links
Santa ko 20 saal bad bachcha hua
Santa ka 20 saal bad bachcha
hua aur woh udass hai.
Banta- yaar udass kyun ho ?
Santa -kya batao yaar 20 saal
baad bachchha hua woh bhe chota sa.
Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar
Santa: Hamare Desh Ki Aausat Mrityu Dar Kya H?
Banta: 100%.
Santa: Kaise?
Banta: Jo Paida Hota H,
Wo Mar Hi Jata H.
Shaadi Me Santa Ka Dinner
Shadi me Santa bahot der tak kha Rha ta
Bnta-kab tak khaoge
Snta-Mai Khud kha- kha k dukhi hu
per kya karu card me likha tha Dinner 7 to 10 PM
Bhais Ka Doodh
Santa-ma kehti hai bhais ka
doodh pine sedimag tej hota hai,
Banta-ma bewkuf banati hai agar
aisa hota to bhais ka baccha scientist hota .
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Zindagi Me Kuch Problem Ho To
Santa- Insaan Ko Zindagi Mein
Koi Bhi Problem Hoto
Kiske Pas Jana Chahiye...?
Banta- Farmer...!
Santa- kyu..?
Banta - Uske Paas "HAL" Hota Hai...
Tumne Kabhi Koi Larki Phansai hai??
Santa-Tumne Kabhi Koi Larki Phansai hai?
Banta-Yaar Larki To Maine Phansa li thi.
Par Tum Logo ne ye Mohalla hi Chor Diya. :-)
Santa's Moving Performance
Santa: I gave a moving performance in singing.
Banta: What do you mean by moving performance?
Santa: Everyone moved out of theatre.
Nana Ne Mujhse Rishta Tod Diya
SANTA: Mere Nana ne mujhse
choti si baat par rishta tod diya..
BANTA: Kyun.Kya kha unhone.?
.
Unhone kaha..
.
Moongphali me dana nhi
Hum tumhare Nana Nhi..
Banta: Did Ramesh furnish his
whole house with second-hand stuff?
Santa: Yes, he even married a widow.
Got a Black eye fron a Fire
Santa: What do you mean,
u got that black eye from a fire?
Banta: My wife caught me kissing an old flame.
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Hips don't Lie
Santa-Aaj breakfast kya kiya?
banta -Sandwiches
Santa -Jhooth Muli ke parathe khaye h na?
Banta -How do u know?
santa-Lips Can Lie But Hips Don't Lie!
Khaandani Santa
SANTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud or
1 Murge Ko Khila Raha Tha.
BANTA- Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
SANTA- Hum Khaandani Log Hain
Roz Roti Chickn Ke Saath Khate hain.
Santa ki shaadi me kam log
Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur
ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.
Banta- to isme prob kya hai?
Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi
Pyaar Me Sher Bhi Kutta Ban Jata Hai
Santa- Aapka kutta to
sher jaisa dikhta hai.!
Kya khilate ho isey?
Banta- wo sher hi hai,
saala PYAR-VYAR k chkkar me padke
kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai..!
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Agar Electricity Nahi Hoti
Santa: Agar electricity nahi
hoti to kya hota?
Banta: Raat mein candle light
mein TV dekhna padta tha
Banta charging his Mobile
Santa: Banta, don’t put mobile on
charging while sleeping at night?
Banta: y?
Santa: sometimes, battery may blast.
Banta: Yah. I know. That’s y
I am removing battery
from mobile while charging… :)
Santa standing in front of a mirror
Banta Singh: y r u standing in
front of the mirror for a long time?
Santa Singh: i'm trying to remember
where i have seen this face before.
Santa ki Tennis Knowledge
Santa 2 Bnta:- Yaar Mujhe Tenis ki
Bahut Knowledge Hai..!
Chahe Kuch Bhi Pooch Le.
Banta:-Accha to Ye Bataa.!
Tenis Net May Kitne Chhed Hote H
Santa jangal ke raste ghar jaa raha tha.
Raste mein ek chudail ne uska raasta roka aur boli:
ha ha ha ha mein chudail hoon.
Santa: Mujhe malum hai aur
teri ek behan mere ghar pe hai.
Santa got question from IIT Exam
IIT Exam, Santa got 1 question
Proove : SIN X = 6N
Santa cancelled 'N' from both the sides.
Then SIX = 6 & wrote
"Kuch to standard rakha karo IIT ke questions ka"
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Agar Banta ki Bivi Ko Bhootni Lipat Jaye
Santa:-Agar Teri Bivi Ko
Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kya Karega?
Banta:- Mujhe Kya Karna !
Ye Do Behno Ka Aapsi Mamla Hai
Me Bus pe chadu ya Bus mujh pe chade
Santa: agar me Bus pe chadu
ya Bus mujh pe chade,
dono me kya fark hai?
Banta:koi fark nai,
Dono bar ticket teri hi kategi.
Santa ki Century
Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..
Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?
Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run
Baki The Or mai Out Ho Gaya.
Banta:shit Yaar so close.. ;-)
Santa ka Sarkar se Competition
Jailor-Tum Kis Jurm Me Aye Ho?
Santa-Bas kuch khaas nahi jailor saab,
Sarkar Se Competition Ho Gaya Tha
J- Kis Baat Ka?
S- Note Chhapne Ka.
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Wife Agar Husband Ko Naukar Samjhe
Santa: Wife Agar Husband Ko Naukar
Smajhe To Husband Ko Kya Karna Chaiye?
Banta: Zayda Kuch Nahi
Do Char Ghar Aur Dekh Lene Chahiye
Santa Ke Mobile Pr Msg
Santa- yar mujhe ajeeb msg aya
or mera mobile off ho gaya!!
Banta- kya lekha tha.?
Santa- battery low..
Banta- mujhe send kar
sab ko tang karunga!!!
Santa Aur Banta Ka Rishta
Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?
Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai
Santa-wo kaise?
Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai
Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.
Santa's Deep Thinking
Santa ne ek Gadda khoda
or usme ja k beth gaya?
banta ne puchha: ?Ae ki ho raya ha??
santa replied: DEEP THINKING
SANTA ne Apni Car k Niche
Kutte ko Leta Hua Dekha
to Kutte ko Punch se Khicha
or Kaha
.
.
.
Bahar nikal Saale,
Bada aya Automobile Engineer
Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati hai
Santa: Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati h?
Banta: Kyun nhi jayegi?
Jab mera ghar, khet, paisa
sab kuchh chala gaya
to teri khansi kya cheej hia be
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Premika Ki Mang
Santa:Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi Thi
Ki Mujhe Usase Rishta Todna Pada.
Banta: Uski Mang Kya Thi
Santa: Shaadi ki.
Machli Me Kaante Hote Hain
Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar,
chappal pahen k kha lena.
1 Rs. me 3 amrood
Santa: Yaar aaj to 1 Rs.
me 3 amrood mil gye.
Banta: Wo kaise?
Snta: 1 Rs. ka 1 usne dia,
1 mai utha k bhag gya,
or 1 usne muje fek ke mara...
Banta Ki Takat Aur Kamjori
Santa-Teri Sabse Badi Takat Kya He
Banta-Meri Patni
Santa-Sabse Badi Kamzori ??
Banta-Dusro Ki Patni..
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Santa ki Major Rahail se Pitai
Santa: Yar muje Major Rohail ne social work krne Pr bohat mara.
Batna: Social Work?
Santa: Han, me ne qabristan k gate pr Welcome ka board lagaya tha.
Banta ke Ghar pani Ghuss gaya
Santa- bhai jaldi jao
tumhare ghar mein pani ghus gaya hai.
.
.
.
.
Banta- Kyun jhuth bolta hai,
ghar mein pani kaise ghus sakta hai,
ghar ki chabi jo mere pass hai.
India Me Kutte Kamjor Q Hote Hai??
Santa-yar banta apne India me
sabhi kutte kamjor q hote hai?
Banta:kyuki sab kutto ka khun 2
DHARAMENDER Pee jata hai.
Santa noticing a very Important thing
Santa: yaar I Notice a very Impotant thing
Banta: Wht is dis?
Santa: Jab railway Fatak Band hota hai
Tab Tab TRain Jarur aati hai.
Santa-Yar Mujhe Apni Gf Ko Gift Dena Hai.
Banta-Diamond Ring De Do,
Santa-Nhi Yar Aisi Chese Batao
Jo Kabhi Usne Pahni Na Ho
Banta-Gents Kachha De De
Laptop Bada Karwana Ka Tarika
Banta: tujhe apna laptop bada karwana hai..?
Santa: Haan yaar..
Banta: to fir Isme se
Window nikalwa ke
Darvaja fit karva le..
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Santa Ki Khushi Ka Raaz
BNTA-Tere Ghr Se Hmesa
Hsne Ki Awaz Ati Hai,
Khusi Ka Raaz Kya Hai?
Snta-Meri Biwi Muje Jute Marti Hai,
Lag Jaye To Wo Hasti Hai,
Nhi Lge To M Hasta hu.
Santa's Story with a Moral
Tchr: story sunao with moral.
Santa: 1din hm un k gar gye
to wo soye huye the,
1 din wo hmare ghar aye
to hum soye huye the.
Moral: Jaisi karni, waisi bharni
Santa selling his Donkey
Santa ko apna gadhha bechna tha
unho ne apne ek dost ko letter likha
agar tmhen kabhi kisi gadhhay ki zroorut ho
toh mujhay yaad ker lena !
Santa Kisi K Ghar Afsos K Liye Gaya
Santa: yar tu kisi k ghar afsos k liye gaya tha,
itni jaldi kaise agaya?
Banta: abe yaar 1 ghante baitha raha,
majaal hai jo kisi ne hans k baat ki ho.
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Santa Tarbooj Kharidne Gaya
Santa: Tarbooj kaise diye
Fruitwala: 20 per Kg
Santa: Mahnge hai
Fruitwala: Lekin guarantee se mithe hai
Santa: 1 Tarnook kharid kar bolta hai
ab iska guarantee card de do
Sabse Bari Durghatna
Santa: Sabse bari durghatna kya ho sakti hai
Banta: Agar koi potty dhone ke dibbe me Tejab dal de
Santa receiving a Text
Some1 wrote 2 santa,
"Agr tum zaheen ho to Rs100 bhejo.
Hoshyar ho to 200.
Agr dono ho to 300 bhejo"
santa sent Rs600 n wrote,
"O-A Main sabka baap hon:->"
Chota Parivar Sukhi Parivar
Santa k truck k peechay likha tha
"chota parivar sukhi parivar"
Or uske nechay
Tinu, minu, chintu, chinky,
pinky, guddu, guddi, sonu, monu,
te sohan de papa di gaddi
Santa Ka Ladka: I'm A Complan Boy...
Santa Ki Ladki: I'm A Complan Girl....
Santa: Sala Paida Mene Kiya Or Naam Kisi Or Ka...
Santa in a Train Compartment
Train chali, Santa ji 1 dibbe mai chad gaye..
TT bola: kyun paa ji, nazar nhe aate,
ye ladies ka dibba hai.
Santa : Sorry ji,
mere ko laga aap mard ho ;->
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Similarty between Pineapple And Coconut tree
Teacher To Santa:
Btao Pineapple Aur Coconut
K Tree Me Kia Similarty Hy...?
Santa Kafi Der Sochne K Baad:
Madam ! Us Me Angoor Nhi Lgte... ;->
Dada Ji Ka Naam Mitti Me
Santa 1: yaar tm subah se
mitti khod rhe ho,kia baat hai,
banta kuch nahi yaar
Dada ji ne kha hai'k
maine unka naam mitti
me mila dia hai
bas woi dhond raha hun
Rastey Pe Jatey Hue Santa Se
1 admi bike pe ja raha tha.
Admi ne rastey pe jatey Santa se poucha?
Sir! Apko lift chahey kia?
.
.
.
.
Santa:Nahi hamara ghar tou Ground floor pe hai.:
Banta ka 10 lakh ka cheque
Santa-Ye 10 lakh ka cheque kisko de rahe ho??
Banta-apne bhai ko.
Santa-apna sign to kar do.
Banta-nahi. Main apna naam gupt rakhna chahta hu.
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10 lakh ka daka 0r 50 lakh ki chori
Santa Marte Waqt-Tumhare Ghr 10 lakh ka
daka maine dalwaya tha
0r 50 lakh ki chori b mene hi krai thi
Banta-Tumhe Zehar bi Maine diya he
Banta ke ghar ki Kheer
Santa: Very Tasty, Aaj to tumhare ghar
kheer kha kar majja aa gaya
Banta: Agar Chuhe muhn nahi marte
to Kheer aur bhi achhi banti
Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya
Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya.
Wo Uske Ghar gaya or pucha- Body aa gai kya?
Tabhi Body lekar Ambulance aa gayi.
Santa-Lo Batao, kitni Lambi umar hai.
Santa aur Banta ka Ghar
Santa-Mera ghar itna bda he ki
usme local train chalti he.
banta- Bas,sale mera ghar itna bada he ki
agar 1se dusre kone chale jaao
.....to roaming lagti he
Santa: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi I.
Banta: Q?
Santa: Q Ki Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein
Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha Ki
Main Jaag Raha Hu
Kitab Likhne Me 1 Saal
Santa: Mujhe Kitab Likhne Me 1 Saal Lag Jata Hai.
Banta:Itni Mehnat Kyo Karte Ho 1
5 Rupaye Me Likhi Hui Kitab Mil Jati Hai.
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Ladies Or Gents Pankha
Santa Electric Shop Me- 2 Pankhe Dena
1 Ladies Or 1 Gents.
Salesman- Pankho Me
Ladies Or Gents Nahi Hota.
Santa- Kese Nahi Hota
Ek Bajaj Ka De Or Ek Usha Ka.
Train me yaar raat bhar neend nhi aayi
Santa:-Train me yaar raat bhar
neend nhi aayi upar ki seat mili thi.
Banta:-To seat xchange kar leta.
Santa:-Kisse karta!!
niche ki seat pe koi tha hi nhi!:
Navjot Singh Siddhu Ki Tasvir
Santa k ghar NAVJOT SINGH SIDDHU
ki tasvir lagi hui thi
Banta: ye q laga rkhi hai..?
Santa: LAUGHING BUDDHA lene gaya tha
dukandar ne kaha yeh LATEST hai..
Santa ko Ladki se bachao
Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."
Banta - "Kya hua?"
Santa - "Jab se Maine kaha
'Dil Cheer ke Dekh tera hi Naam hai'
Saali Chaku le @ke Piche hi pad gayi hai."
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Santa Ko Ik Kuri Nal Pyar Ho Gya
Santa- Jado mai chota c,
menu ik kuri nal pyar ho gya,
te mai usde 4 bhrawa nal gal v karli c.
Banta-Fer ki hoya?
Santa-aje tak siddha tureya nai janda.
Matlbi Dost Se Bach Kr Raho
Santa=matlbi dost se bach kr raho.
Banta=magr matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega.
Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karo
jo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
Banta ke Behan ki Delivery
Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai
pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi
ki me mama banunga ya mami"
Santa Ki Kadi Chawal
Santa kadi chawal kha rha tha ,
ek makhi us par b@aithne ki koshish kar rahi thi,
ye dekh santa bola-
hat hat ye woh nhi hai jo tu samajh rahi hai..
Santa Ne Apna Ghar Construct Kiya..
Construction @Ke Baad Uper Wale Part Par
Color kiya,
Aur Nechay Wale Part Par Likh Diya
"SAME AS ABOVE"
Santa Aur Banta Ne Pehli Baar Riksha Dekhi
Santa aur banta ne zindagi me
pehli baar riksha dekha..
Santa: Dekho Kitna Chota Tanga Hai.
Banta: Haan..
Aur Gadha To Dekho, Aadmi Jaisa Dikhta Hai..
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Santa ne Sher ka Pinjra khula chor diya
Santa ne Zoo me sher
ka pinjra khula chor diya
Officer:Tum@e Sher ka Pinjra Lock ni Kia
Santa:Sir itne khofnack
janwar ko kon chori krega?
Police Investigating Santa
Police to Santa : "Tumhara Dost kaise mara?"
Santa : "O ji @Mai kuch nahi janta,
Usne to yehi kaha tha-
Mere Pat me Chuhe kud rahe hai.
to Mene use Chuhe Marne ki dawa de di
RIM ka Connection
Santa: RIM ka connection lene gaya
Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.
Santa: 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai
roj khulle kahan se launga
Santa Ki Beti Jyotishi
Santa ki Beti : "Papa kal Ghar me se
1 Member kam ho jayega."
Nxt Day Santa ki Beti bhag gayi.
Santa : "Ladki ne kaam to Galat kiya
lekin thi wo @Jyotishi.
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Santa in a Parliament
Santa galati se Sansad me chala gaya
wanha upper kursi pe baithe huye se pucha
Tum kaun ho?
usne jawa@b diya : ME Speaker hun
Santa: jor se bola, to phir me Loud Speaker hun
Santa ki Tapasya
Santa tapasya karta hai
Bhagwan: var mango vats
Santa: Ye kya kiya aapne,
me to vadhu ke liye tapsya kar raha tha
Santa Ke Dimag Me Bhoosa
Santa: Bakri se door bhag raha tha
Banta: Bhag kyon rahe ho
Santa: Mere Papa ne kaha tha
mere dimag me bhoosa bhara hai,
soch raha hun kahin ye kha na jaye
Konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai
Santa - "Aisi konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai
or trin trin karti hai."
Banta - "Telephone"
Santa - "Galat"
Banta - "to phir"
Santa - "Ta@matar.... trin trin to
Confuse karne ke liye bola tha.
Teacher 2 santa- tum me kuch kamiya hai
Santa next day c@oat pant pehan k aata hai
Teacher- what is this?
Santa- Raymond, the complete man.
Jo Cheej Nahi Ho Wohi Lena Chahiye
Santa: Agar Bhagwan tumhe 1 wish de
or Paise or akal me 1 lena ho to tu kya lega
Banta: Isme puchhna kya hai me Akal lunga
Santa: Achha hai..
jiske pass jo cheej nahi ho wohi lena chahiye..
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Santa Ka Waqt Se Badla
Santa park me baitha tha.
Friend:Kya kar raha hai ?
Santa:Badla le Raha hu !
Frnd:Kaise?
Santar: waqt Ne mujhe barbad kiya hai,
ab mai waqt barbad kar raha hu.
Truck Towing
1 truck dusre truck ko rassi se bandh kr le ja rha tha
Ye dekh kr santa ha@ns-hans k lotpot ho gaya or bola-
Ek rassi ko le jane K liye 2-2 truck...
Santa ki Laddu ki Dukan
Ek adami santa se :1 Kg laddu lene aata hai
Adami: Isme to chinti hai
Santa: Aap naa@raj na ho,
aapko laddo pure 1 Kg dunga,
chinti jitana weight extra de dunga
Fruit Khaya Karo Chhilke Sahit
Doctor: Kamjori hai fruit khaya karo chhilke sahit
After one hour
Santa: Mera pet dard ho raha hai
Doctor: kya khaya tha
Santa: Nariyal.. chhilka sahit
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Santa Bus Me Ek Larki Se Takraya
Santa Bus me ja raha tha ek laraki se takragaya
Larki boli: Thappar khana hai
Santa: MEra to p@et bhara hua hai,
Aap kisi aur se puchh le
Santa Fighting in a Mobile shop
Santa ek mobile bechane wale se larai kar raha tha
Logon ne pu@chha kya huva
Santa: Mene mobile kharida to bola tha
mobile me lock bhi h,
Ab ye tala, chhabi kuch nahi de raha
Santa opened a Jewellers shop
Santa: Last year, I opened a jeweller`s shop.
Banta: And then what happened?
Santa: I was caught red-handed by the jeweller.
Santa ke 50-50 Biscuit
Santa: Biscuit ka packet kharid kar
do barabar- barabar tor raha tha
puchha kyon
Santa: Pretto ne bola tha 50-50 Biscuit lane hai
Banta: Ek Uncle Chips ka pura packet kha leta hai
Khane ke baad sochata hai
Ad me to Bol rahe the ki lips bolenge lekin
Mere to Hips bol rahen hai
Santa goes for railway reservation
Santa goes for railway reservation
Santa: Mera AC chair car ka reservation kar dena
Railwaym@an: Seat nahi hai
Santa: Aap reservation kare,
seat ki chinta na kare,
ek kursi me ghar se le lunga
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Santa v/s Kaidi
Kaidi- Try karna mujhe umr kaid ho, faansi nahi..
Santa- Dont worry!
After court-
Kaidi- Kya hua?
Santa- Bahut mushkil se umr kaid mili hai..
Saale riha kar rahe the!!! ;-)
Santa seeing a Road Accident
Accident hua, bheed ho gayi!
Santa ko age aane ka mouka nhi mil raha tha!
Santa chillaya- Hay mera bapu! Sbne aage jaane diya...
Dekha toh Kutta mara pada tha...:)
Santa Ke Ghar Vishfotak Samgri
Police high alert k time Santa ke ghar talasi lene gai.
Police-Khabar h k a@pke ghar me Vishfotak samgri h.
Santa-"Sir" vo to maike gai hui hai.
Santa aur Banta Birthday Party me
Santa Banta ki khub pitai hui.
Dono kisi Bir@thday Party me muft ka
khana khate hue pakde gye the Kehne lage-
Hum ladki walo ki taraf se he...
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Santa asking to Banta for Office
Santa: Office Chal rahe ho kya?
Banta: tu ch@al main naha dho kar aaya
Santa: Kamaal hai, tu ab dhone jayega,
main to potty jata hun tabhi dho leta hun
Santa Jab Chota Tha
Santa: Jab me chhota tha
tab me is ped pe chad jata tha.
Banta: wo kaise?
santa: tab ye ped bhi chhota tha na yaar...
Aao Chess Khelen
Banta: Aao Chess Khelen
Santa: Mujhe Chess Nahi Aati
Banta: Main Sikha dunga isme
Hathi, Ghore Oont khane hai
Santa: Phir to main bilkul nahi khelunga
kyonki main shaakahari hun.
Santa Ek Arthi Se Takraya
Santa pi kr Scoter pe 1 Arthi Se takra Gya,
dead body gir Gy@i Log Sante ko Pitne lage,
SANTA- Jo Gir gaya Usse To Punch lo Jyada Chont to nhi lagi.
Santa's dead body found in a cupboard &
all other Member declared him
Winner of Last Year's Hide & Seek Championship!.
Duniya Ka Sabse Dukhi Aadmi
Santa:Duniya mei sabse dukhi aadmi kaun hai?
Banta:Bechare Rickshaw wale!
Santa:Kaise?
Banta:Q ki ladki kunwari ho ya married
"BHAIYA" hi bulati hai..
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Santa v/s Dhoobi
Banta: Santa dhobi se:
T Shirt Ulti karke press kar dena!
Ek din Baad
Banta: Meri T shirt press ho gayi?
Santa: Babooji pres@s kaise karta,
koshish to bahoot ki lekin ULTI aa hi nahi rahi.
How to know if your kids have grown up
Santa: When do you know your kids have grown up?
Banta: When you@r daughter begins to put on
lipstick or your son starts to wipe it off.
Oldest animal in the world
Teacher:Which is the oldest animal in the world?
Banta:"ZEBRA".
Teacher:Shocked,how?
Banta:Because it is still "Black and White"!!!
Searching for an Ideal Match
Santa: Why didn’t you marry?
Banta: I was searching for an ideal match.
Santa: So, you didn’t find an ideal girl?
Banta: I found one.
Santa: Then?
Banta: She was also searching for an ideal match.
Sponsored Links
Santa Ke Baap Ko Gaali
Santa: Aaj pehli baar kisine
mere BAAP ko gaali di.
Patni: Fir?
Santa: Maine bh@i uske baap ko gaali di.
Patni: Lekin wo kaun tha?
Santa: Mera BETA..
A Warning board at the Centre of a Pond
Santa saw a board at d centre of a Pond.
He tried reading bt he couldn't.
Atlast he swims to the centre of the Pond
& Reads,"CROCODILE PRESENT,DONT SWIM"
Santa Banta in Film "Deewar"
Santa-Mere pass gadi hai ,bunglow hai,
paisa hai tumhare paas kya hai ?
Banta- Mere paas bhi gadi hai
bunglow@ hai paisa hai.
Santa-to saale apni maa kiske paas hai ?
Santa in Daughter's Room
Santa found cigrate in daughter's room"
"God she smoked?"
Den found @wine "o God she drink?"
"Den he saw a boy,"thnk god!
Toh ye sab iska hai.
टिप्पणियाँ
एक टिप्पणी भेजें