MEN HANG OUT IN BARS
FOR ONE OF TWO REASONS
EITHER THEY HAVE
NO WIFE TO GO HOME TO
OR THEY DO
==============================
ACCORDING TO MY PARENTS
EVERY PROBLEM
HAS ONLY ONE SOLUTION
JUST THROW AWAY
THE DAMN
PHONE
==============================
The more I learn about
PEOPLE
the more I like my
DOG.
==============================
Having a good laugh
with friends stimulates endorphins,
The brain's natural painkillers.
So if you need to laugh
and you can't find a friend,
I can lend you a mirror.
==============================
The most amazon thing about
flipkart is that before you could,
somebody else snaps the deal.
==============================
Friends come and
go, like the waves of
the ocean,
.
but the true ones
stay like an Octopus
on your face.
==============================
My girlfriend left a note on the
fridge, "Its not working. I can't
take it anymore. I am going to
my mom's place."
.
I opened the fridge. The light
came on. The beer was cold..
What the hell is she talking
about?
==============================
I asked my girlfriend
what she wanted for
her birthday and she
replied
.
"nothing would make
me happier than
diamonds"
.
So I got her nothing.
==============================
Most stupid questions people usually ask:
In Bus: A fat lady steps on my feet.
.
.
Lady: Sorry did that hurt you?
.
.
Me: Not at all.I'm on local anesthesia.Why don't you try again?
2) When they see me with shorter hair:
Hey have u had a hair cut?
.
.
Me:Nah! It's autumn, my hair's shedding.
3) When someone call's on land-line and asks
where r u?
.
.
Me: M in market with telephone around my neck..
==============================
Common Sense
.
An Illiterate Father with his
educated Son went on a camping Trip,
They setup their tent 'n fell Asleep.
Some hours later, father wakes his son 'n asks:
"Look up to the sky 'n tell me what you see?
.
Son: I see millions of stars.
.
Father: What does that tell you?
.
Son: Astronomically,
It tells that there are
millions of galaxies 'n planets.
.
Father slaps the son hard 'n says:
... Idiot, someone has stolen our Tent!
==============================
Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
&
haven't spoken a word..!!!
Man inside: I'm talking to my wife.....
==============================
While in counseling, a husband wz asked... "What wud u deem ur worst choice? Husband replied, I made too many to remember. The counselor asked, Can't u remember not one? Glancing at his Wife's ring, he said, "I DO... The end of my life"
==============================
I can't stop thinkin about this girl I met last week.
She wz my every desire... Her crooked face, golden teeths and not to mention ridiculously bad breath...
Anyways, enuf about u. I guess I should be tellin u baout this girl, right?
==============================
I ASKED MY HEART ? : WHY CAN'T I SLEEP AT NIGHT ? . . . . . . . .
MY HEART TOLD ME : BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALREADY SLEPT IN THE AFTERNOON.
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU ARE IN LOVE !
==============================
Gal chattin 2 a strnger via msg.
Strngr- Hey, could u gv me ur email id?
Girl-Yeah ihavabf.iluvhim@getlost.com
Strngr- Take mine, itsyourfather@fasgayi.com
==============================
A perfect girl
Doesn't bother,
Doesn't shout,
Doesn't flirt with others,
Doesn't lies,
Doesn't cheat,
.
And
.
Doesn't exists :p
Clappinggg!!
==============================
A kanuri who took his radio 2 repair,
so wen d radio was open a little rat jump out:| ..
he start shouting>:O 2 say jama'a!!! kutareeee mai bada labarai zai gudu=)) =))
hahaha. Jst 2 make u smile pal..
==============================
Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....
OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL......
....UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!!!
==============================
When men cal~ls you hot, they r looking at your body...
When men calls you pretty, they r looking at your face...
When men calls you gor~geous, they r looking at your clothes...
But when they call you beautiful,,,
They are Lying....... :) :D :-[
==============================
Urgent girlfriend needed...... . . . . . . . . . .
Qualification- must b the only daughter of a petrol pump owner...!!!
==============================
My nights are becoming sleepless.
My days are becoming restless .....
so I asked god.. is this love?????
He said!! .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .........
Idiot, summer has started....
==============================
Grl: I Can't Marry~ u Give My Luv Letters Back.
Next Day Boy Gave her a big bag & said :"find out urs .& get lost"
==============================
Winners say "I must do something!"
Losers say "something must be done!"
Winners have no ~time to read this SMS
Losers post and read this SMS.
That's why I posted a~nd U idiot R reading dis.
But don't b disappointed, Coz U R equally born 2 win!!!!
==============================
Evolution of MAN
Without Shaadi - SPIDER MAN
Shaadi k Waqt - SUPER MAN
Shaadi k Baad - GENTLE MAN
Aur Agar Biwi Khubsurat ho to?? Saari Umar - WATCHMAN...
==============================
KISI bhi Ladki se poocho, to kehti hai......
"I'M ALREADY COMMITTED" . . . . . . . . . .
BUT kisi ne ye poocha "KITNON SE"
==============================
A kid on his way 2 home w~ith his mom saw a couple kissing on the road.......
He suddenly shouted & said:- Look mom look, that boy nd girl are Fighting for a chewing-guM........
==============================
Its a fact that when a baby born,
doctor slap its face to ~make it start breathing,
but rare exceptional cases like you, when born! Doctor slaps himself..... :-)
==============================
Why do girls prefer a~rranged marriage ? ? ? ... ... ? ? ?
Because an unknown namuna is Better than a well known kameena .
==============================
Lalu Aur Mayavati
Mayawati LaLu K Ghar Elephant K Sath Ayi
LALU- Bhaiswa K Sath Aye Ho?
MAYA- Dikhta Nhi Elephantwa Hai
Lalu- Dhatt Pagli, Hum Elephantwa Se Puch Rha Hu.
==============================
It is A JOKE GIRLS USED TO SAY:
1980: Love me But do not touch me.
1990: Touch me, But do not kiss me.
2000: Kiss me, But do not do any thing else.
2010: Do everything, But do not tell anybody.
2011: Do everything, Otherwise I will tell everybody that you can't do anything! ...
just wondering how what this world will become this year.
==============================
Accident k bad driver ghuse me: Mene car ki head lights on kr k btaya tha, k pehle mje nikal jane do. .
Chaudry: Mene b to wiper chala k btaya tha, “Na Soneya Na”.
==============================
Patni Mobile, Pati Simcard.
Dono M~ile To, Hua Recharge.
Beta Hua To Incoming, Beti Hui To Outgoing.
Twins Hue To, Bonus Talktime.
Kuch Na Hua To, Network Problem.
==============================
u r Ultimate
u r Lovely
u r Likable
u r Unique in short u r ullu
==============================
Google Facts:
50% people use Google as a serch engine.
.
.
.
.
Remaining 50% people use Google to check if their internet is connected or not...
==============================
Advantage of speaking truth is
that you don't have to remember
what you said...
.
.
But
.
.
Telling Lies increase your Memory.
Think different.. :)
==============================
A Psychological fact : ~When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands look at each other's wives!..;-)
==============================
Shaadi Jaldi hone ki Hydrabadi mannat,, . .
"kab aate wo dina, Ek takiye pe do Gardana. Kab tak Akele sona, Ab to Begum honach hona"
==============================
If girl in lv, Her parents ask: who is dat IDIOT?
If boy in lv, His parents ask: Idiot, who is dat girl?
MORAL: No mattr whoevr in lv, Boyz r alwz idiots..
==============================
Love Happens Automatically.
.
.
.
Manual Working Of It
Is Called Flirting :D
==============================
Villain cuts t~he brake cables of Hero/Heroine's vehicle and the vehicle runs miles before coming to a stop or crashes into a tree.
We all know you just need to release the accelera~tor and the vehicle would come to a stop.
==============================
Golden Words
"Love is the seventh sense which destroys all the six senses".
And u become Non sense! -)
==============================
For a GIRL Who says,"All BOYS are the same"
should be asked;
Who told HER to try ALL OF THEM!!:-P
==============================
As a rule, man is a fool,
When it's hot~, he wants cool,
When it's cool, he wants hot,
Always wanting what is not. :)
==============================
Sumtimes u may catch me staring at u
Its not coz u r hands~ome n cute
My granny told me dat devils hv horns & tails,
I Keep wondering whr r urs?
==============================
~ Family watching TV ~
Husband to Wife: Who is Sunny Leone?!
Son(9 year old): The one, whose videos you're hiding in your PC, in Sunny Deol folder!
==============================
What always surprise me is that, whn ppl blow their noses...
thy look into their hankies..to see wht comes out..
I mean wht do they expect..
.....
DIAMOND!!!!!
==============================
What are the most power full THREE words
Other than "I LOVE YOU"???
.
.
.
.
.
"SALARY IS CREDITED"
==============================
Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? Absolutely nothing!
==============================
Wat always surprises me is dat wen people blow their noses,
they luk in 2 their ~hankies 2 c wat coms out.
I mean wat they expect. . . . . .
diamonds??:-
==============================
If you feel dog tired at night,
it may be because you've growled all day long.
==============================
If u like my sms, it means I'm SMART..
If u save , means u agree I'm SMART..
If u 4wrd , u spread that I'm SMART..
&
If u delete , u r jealous, bcoz I'm SMART..
==============================
Love is an expen~sive gift.
Dont beg it from cheap people.................
==============================
New year vacation is time off to remind employees
that the business can get along without them.
==============================
My secretary quit.
She caught me kissing my wife.
==============================
If you mention how nice she looks,
it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet,
it's male indifference.
==============================
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
==============================
Money can't buy happ~iness,
but it sure makes misery easier to live with
==============================
If God is watching us, the~ least we can do is be entertaining.
==============================
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
==============================
Children: You spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk.
Then the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
==============================
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than standing i~n a garage makes you a car.
==============================
Maths sir: What is a 'line'?
.
.
.
.
.
A genius answered:
A line is a dot, Going for a walk.
==============================
What's the difference between stupid and idiot?
Stupid will delete this joke. Idiot will forward this joke.
Ha ha,what will you do now?
==============================
A very true saying which all of u would agree
"Paying money for othe~r's mistake will happen only in..
"COLLEGES"!!
In the name of "revaluation"..
==============================
We are not addicted to the FacebooK.
WE only use it when w~e have time: lunch time,
break time, off time, no time, this time, that time, any time, all the time
==============================
Whenever a boy takes any decision,,
he closes his eyes,,
thinks a lot,,
listen to his heart,,
uses his brain,,
n finally do what his girlfriend Sayz..
==============================
Why Don't ELEPHANTS Ride Bikes..?
They Don't Have a Thumb To Ring The Bell..
==============================
every tear is a sign of -onions
every silence is a si~gn of =zero balance
every smile is a sign of -daily brushing
life is simple dont make it complex
==============================
Wat is d most proudest moment in a students life and
specially at time of exam..????
.
.
.
.
Standin in middle of d exam nd asking
"Whoever has my answ~ersheet plz return"...
==============================
When Somebody Says
"Expect The Unexpected"
.
.
.
Slap Him/Her~ On The Face
And Say
"You Didn't Expect That, Did You ?
==============================
A Friend Of Mine
Said:
"0nions Are The Only
Food That Makes You
Cry . . . "
That Was Before
I Hit Him In The Face
With A "Watermelon..."
==============================
Dear
Potato Chips Companies,
I Find It Hella Annoying To Pay
20 Bucks For A B~ag Of
60% Chips And 40% Air.
Please Stop Doing That,
Thank You
==============================
I heard that good looks can kill...
.
.
.
.
So, please don't look at me
.
.
.
.
I don't wanna see you die.!!!
==============================
Funny Sentence Written On The T Shirt
Of A Beautiful Girl Walking On Side Of The Road:
You Are Not Looking At The Road Right Now, Be Careful
==============================
A guy sitting wid his gf, drinking beer says,
"I love u"
Gf says-"is it u or~ d beer talking?"
.
.
Guy replies,"its me,
.
.
.
.
talking 2 d beer"
==============================
what is old age ??
Ans. When u start turning off lighta for economical reasons
rather than for romantic reasons !!!
==============================
Last Words said by the A~merican Soldiers to Osama Bin Laden..
.
.
.
Attly battly futtly
(GAME ENDS)..JSK
==============================
A cute love quote:
"Even my 2 yr c~ousin has started to walk without any support,
But my 18 yr Girl Friend still holds my hand while walking."
==============================
Only Rajnikanth can Delete the Recycle Bin
Mind it...!!!
==============================
scienctist have deploved 4G in mobile but
ragnikant mobile is 5G ! mind it!
==============================
Rajnikant was born on 30th february..
Since then february ~decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.
==============================
Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????
==============================
Only 2 types O~f Communications are the fastest in the world
.
.
Wh r u thinking!!!...
its e-mail & female..
==============================
Boy got rejected & Girl selected in interview for the same reason...
think...??
??
Reason
They both ha~d 1st Buton
of their shirts opened in front of
the jury..
==============================
Microsoft Bought Skype For
8.5 Billion Dollars . . .
.
Stupids
.
.
.
They Could Have Download
It For Free ...
==============================
There May Not Be Any Value
Of Me For You,
But
I m PRIC~ELESS To Those
People
.
.
From Whom
I Have Borrowed Money
==============================
Earlier It Was
Either People Were
'Working'~ or 'Not Working'
Now Its
People Are Either
'Not Working' or They r
'Networking'.!!
==============================
LOVE HURTS. .
Just Kidding,
But
.
.
.
Actually Seeing Someone Else
Eating A Pizza n Having Coke
And Not S~haring
HURTS Even More ...
==============================
What Is FACEBOOK ?
.
.
.
Its A Place Where Boy Posts
Joke, Gets No Response...
And
If Girl Posts The Same Joke,
She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments
& 60 Friends Requests
==============================
Height Of Physics:
A conductor kicks old man out of bus.
Police send conduc~tor jail & gave him shock bt he had no effect..
.
Y
.
.
Because he was a BAD conductor...
==============================
New Style Of Break- Up !! :P
A Bf Threw 6 Cricket Balls At His Gf...
Girl Yelled "What Was That For".. :O :O
..
Boy Said "Its Over"
==============================
Every Student Gets
0pportunity ~To Enjoy
Their Student Life. . .
But ,
Some Miss Those Beautiful
Moments & T~hose Stupid
People Are Known As
.
.
.
.
.
" TOPPERS "
==============================
Question By The
STUDENTS ...
If A Single Teacher
Can't Teach Us All
The Subjects,
Then
How Could You Expect
A Single Student To Learn
Six Subject..?
==============================
Best Line
By A Cockroach To A Young Guy:
"I Can Make Yo~ur Girlfriend Scream,
More Louder Than You Can..
==============================
Which Is Very Best,
Amazing N Un-Answerable Feeling ?
.
.
.
When
Your Crush Asks U About Ur Crush.
==============================
IM DA BEST, I CAN PROVE IT:
I can see tea in tea cup, can u see world in world cup,
I can send my addres~s to ur mobile,
can u send ur mobile to my address.
==============================
EXACT DEFINITION OF engineering..
Engineering is ~the study of finding a black cat in a dark room,
u know wh,when der is no cat..
==============================
I watch so many crime shows on Tv,
that when I turn off the Tv set,
I wipe my finger prints 0ff the remote
==============================
I watch so ma~ny crime shows on Tv,
that when I turn off the Tv set,
I wipe my finger prints 0ff the remote
==============================
Question of the day
World Me Esa Konsa Writer He Jo Kabi Khud Nhi Likhta?
.
Socho
.
or Socho
Ans:Type-Writer
==============================
Question:-
DUNIYA ~ka sabse bada aur khatrnaak jaadu kahan hota hai?
Nahi pata!!!!??
Ans:
Beauty parlor me..!!
==============================
if you are loyal to your ~wife, u might get heaven after death..
but if u r not loyal to your wife , you will surely get heaven on earth.
==============================
Anybody who believes that the way to a man's
heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
==============================
Why do people point at their wrist
when they ~want to know the time?
I don't point at my groin when
I want to find out where the toilets are!!!
==============================
once rajnikanth went for a walk
and in the afternoon the police arrested him.Why?
Because he reached USA without Visa!!
==============================
Behind every successful man,
there is a woman but behind every satisfied woman,
there is a tired man.
==============================
Google won't find R~ajinikanth because
you don't find Rajinikanth;
Rajinikanth finds you.
==============================
There is no such thing as evolution,
it's just a list of creatur~es that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
==============================
What is Talent and wt is Intelligence ?
Walking on a ti~ght rope over Niagra Falls is Talent.
not Trying such a thing is called Intelligence.
==============================
There are three different me's,
the person you think I am, the person I think I am, and the person I really am.
==============================
The grass always looks greener on the other side.
Doesn't it make you wonder what kind of fertilizer they are using?
==============================
There are some fools in this world who
always reply no for e~very question we ask....
Now you tell me are you such a person ??
==============================
Wen u prop~ose a girl, itz Direct Marketing
Wen u cal her itz TELE Marketing
Wen she walks to u its BRAND recognition
Wen she slaps u its Customer Feedback
==============================
RAJINIKANTH was teaching his grandson how to use a gun and save ur self...
.
And lol
.
.
Osama Bin Laden died by mistake in Pakistan..
==============================
only a few people can feel the rain,othrs just get wet'...
Much awes~ome: 'only few love can feel the pain or depart,
others just find ANOTHER..
==============================
If you are sitting in a class and
every one's heads are down and yours is up.......
That's not d proof dat
' You are confident '
.
.
.
U just don't have a mobile phone.......
==============================
don't steal money...!!!
goverment hates competition..
==============================
don't steal money...!!!
goverment hates competition..
==============================
Problem of~ solving a problem is not a problem,
but when a problem solves a pr~oblem without any problem
then the problem is not at all a problem .
Any problem??
==============================
Similarity B/W Love & FOOD
If U Cross Th~e Limits
The Result Vil B Vomiting.
==============================
Height Of Cruelty:
Throwing ~Ur Girlfriend ;
Out of D Window & Shouting:
.
.
.
Love Is In the Air Baby.
Keep Flying..
==============================
"People think smoking is hard to quit !!
Oh God, clearly
.
.
.
they haven't tried to quit Facebook yet!"
==============================
Rays Emittin~g From The
Books Are Directly Proportional
To Sleepiness. . .
.
.
.
.
.
"STUDENT'~S 1st Law 0f
Nalaiqness"
==============================
What Is Extreme Height Of Hygiene ?
.
.
.
.
.
An Architect Washing His Hands With Dettol
After Making Drawing Of a Toilet
==============================
Girl to Another Girl:
"You are so Be~autiful
Other Girl:
"Thank You
Ur Beautiful Too
Now;
Boy to Another Boy:
"Hi, You are Handsome
Other Boy:
"GAY Saala.."
==============================
Whats The Difference Between Boyfriend And Motorbike???
Motor Bike Is First Kicked And Then Used...
But A Boyfriend Is First Used And Then Kicked....:)))
==============================
Wat Is D Maximum Limit Of Telling A Lie??
.
.
,
.
A Boy Telling His~ Chinese Girlfriend
"TERE MAST MAST DO NAIN"
==============================
Its True That Love Is Blind.
Because I Couldnt See
.
.
.
Her Father ~Was Coming
When I Was Kissing....
==============================
Beggars with plates and Freshers with resume are not allowed inside..
A board in front of IT COMPANY
==============================
Dedicated to all science student
Dedicated to all science students
Once rajnikanth had to kill the villain
So he slapped himself
...
...
The villain died due to RESONANCE.JSK
==============================
the toilet paper wrapping sa~ys 100% recycled...
lets all take a moment to think about this for a second
==============================
Appu: Do you~ know that it is not fall that kills you,
it is the sudden stop at the end.
Submitted by: Anveesha
Place: Mumbai, India
His own
Every man should have a wife - preferably his own!
==============================
My aunt afraids of ants,
my uncle understands her and collected
some ants to tease her.
==============================
A Survey in America:
50% Teen~agers;
Live with Their Parents..=)
.
.
Rest 50% Teenagers;
.
.
Are already PAR~ENTS..
==============================
Men Socialize By Insulting Each Other,
But They Don't Mean It..
N
Women Socialize By Complimenting Each Other,
And They Don't Really Mean It Either
==============================
People Says Love Brings Flavors & Taste To Life..
.
But ..
Personally I Believe ..
PAANI PURI Does A Better Job
==============================
3 Unforgettable Things In Our Life..
-
1. Breakfast
2. Lunch
3. Dinner
No Need To Be Emotional Everytime
==============================
My Words Are Antibiotic, My Smile Is analgesic,
My Touch Is Anti Infla~mmatory,My Presence Is Antiseptic,
My Feeling Is antipyretic... Thats Why I Am
Pharmacist.
==============================
An expert is one who tells you simple thing
in a confused way ~in such a fashion as to
make you think that confusion is your own fault.
==============================
Girl's Status msg on Facebook:'Feeling Sad' - 1702 comments.
Guy's Status msg:'Goin 2 commit Suicide'
1 Comment - "Dude Whos gonna use ur bike now
==============================
Rajnikanth decided to carry out long jump two days later...
Breaking news rajni the 1st indian to step on moon.
==============================
It is said that if U close Ur eyes,
U see d person U love d most
& when I do that,
.
.
.
.
.
Slide show begins..
==============================
Dear M~other-in-law,
Don`t teach me how to handle my children,
I m living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
==============================
boy to girl: I love not only u
gir: kya....
boy: I also love w, x, y,z
==============================
To all my frnds:
"If i come to know that i wud die soon,
i wud hide it from u till i die, because u idiots will ask treat for that also.
==============================
Every brother does'nt like his sister to chat with a guy in late nite,
bt evry brother wants to~ talk to som1's sister in late night.
Crazy world:-):-)ah ah
==============================
I'm In Love ~With My Bed,
We're Perfect For Each
Other!
But
...My Alarm Clock
Just Doesn't Seem To
Want Us Together !
==============================
All Sincere Girls Fall In Luv Wid
STUPID BOYS
& All Sincere Boys Fall In Luv Wid
Stupid Girlz.
I'm Neither Stupi~d Nor Sincere
Thats WHY I'm Single!
==============================
Like This Status,
If U Chec~k Your Update On Fb During Study :-P
Or Facebook Take Your Study Time ; )
==============================
Once a Photo of Rajanikant was given for xerox..
.
.
Dnt even try 2 guess wht happened..
.
.
.
.
We got 2 Copies of Xerox Machine..!!!!!
==============================
I asked My Heart:
Why can't I Sleep at Night?
My Heart ~told me:
Because
...
You already Slept in the Afternoon...
So,
Don't Ov~erreact like
You are in Love.. ! :)
==============================
RAJANIKANT says,
"yenna rascala, mind it"
wah wah wah..
...
.
.
.
RAJANIKANT says,
"yenna rascala, mind it"
ACP: abhijit, lash yahi kahi hai, find it..!!
wah wah wah..
==============================
If u didn't have a GOOD DAY,
don't ~worry.
There are
many
.
.
.
.
Other biscuits
like
50-50
20-20
Parle-G
Little Hearts.. etc
Try them!!
==============================
Do Not keep all ur Work For Tomorrow...
Always remember U Can ~Also Do It DAY AFTER 2MRW..!!So, Enjoy Life..!!Be lazy!!!!
Think crazy...!!!!:-)jai hind
==============================
Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test,
the rough sh~eet he used is known as Oxford dictionary.
==============================
Why did British leave India in 1947 only ?
Becoz
They came to knw unka baap RAJNIKANT was going to born in 1948..:)D.D
==============================
Q: Why Rajnikanth doesn`t play cricket?
A: Bcoz Sachin Tendulkar requested him to keep his world records intact.
==============================
A boy broke the window of Rajinikanth`s house while playing cricket. R
ajni warned the boy to play slowly.
The boy is now known as Misbah-Ul-Haq.
==============================
Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever:
What will come first, ~Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
==============================
once a farmer put up s~care crow with Rajnikant's picture as face.
Crows brought back the corn they stole last evening.
==============================
Women ar~e angels , and when someone cuts their wings,
they continue to fly .... on a broomstick.
They're flexible that way!
==============================
the pessimist sees the dark of the tunnel.
The optimist sees the light at the end.
and the realist sees the train coming.
==============================
- **WARNING** - This joke is a virus.
Do not read it,
or your eyes will me~lt and yuu woinyt be avle toi seee anygthuig
==============================
If boy propose a girl
~Her 5 ans
1 haa
2 na
3 v r frnd
4 i luv sum1
5 i have family problem
==============================
If girl propose a boy
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
kamino koi to standard banao.
==============================
There r many brave people who alwayas want 2 be adventurous.
Few choose the armed f~orces & fight for the nation,
others get married & fight for their survival..
==============================
My wif
e treats me like GOD.! She
makes NO noti~ce of my exi
stence till she wants some thing
==============================
Men are like toilets. Either they are taken or they are full of shit!!
==============================
Just saw a Sri Lanka~n dude drinking tea out of a saucer.
He said, "The Indians took the cup".
==============================
Best relationship needs no promises no demands n no expectation,
it jst need 2 pe~ople 1fool like u n 1cool like me. :)
==============================
No more tsunamis will occur because
rajnikanth stopped washing his clothes in the ocean
==============================
a friend will visit you in jail, a good friend will bail you out of jail,
but a best friend will be in the next room screaming
"THAT WAS AWE~SOME!"
==============================
tip to reduce weight:
first turn you~r head to the left and then turn it to the right.
repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
==============================
When The Teacher Says
"GET OUT"
It Means . . .
You Have Won The
ARGUMENT .
==============================
Those Who Say That
Words Can Never Hurt
Them ,
Never Got ~Hit
In The Head With The
DICTIONARY . .
==============================
Dear Boys,
Don't Text Two Girls
The Sa~me Thing Trying
To Get Them Both To Like
You. . .
They Might Be Hanging Out
Together... =P =D
Sincerely, BUSTED!
==============================
There Are Two Choices
In Life:
Stay Single And Be Miserable
0r
Get Married And Wish You
Were Dead. . .
==============================
If walking is good for health,
The postman would be immortal.
A rabbit ru~ns and hopsand only lives 15 years.
A Turtle doesnt run,does nothing..and leaves 150 years..!!
==============================
Cute lines:
'Man found thousands of way to cheat god..
But God punishes him by simply making him to fall in love..!
==============================
worst possible way to irritate a person-
Asking him to think POSITIVE when he is waiting
anxiously expcting ~d results of his HIV test-:-))
==============================
Bachelors think dat
Married man r lucky..
Married thin~k dat
Bachelors r lucky..
D point is dat
Bachelors think at night
&
Married think at day time..
==============================
"If a girl is not in luv wid any boy, she is missin somethin in life"
"If a boy is in love wid a girl, He'll miss Everythin in life.
==============================
Simple but true: The person who sends more msgs to all his friends..
Is the one who is still single..!!
==============================
Wat Is 'PYAR'.?
It's a Group Of~ Friends Sitting In a BAR With Bottles In Hand And Saying-
'P' 'YAR'..
==============================
The Shortest Relation in Life is
Between
Students & Books
They Get Commited Couple of Days before Exam
&
Afte~r Exam..
Break Up..;)
==============================
keep in mind 3 laws while meditating 1.i am nothing. 2.
i need noth~ing. 3. i am goinging to do nothing.
if you have this 3 principals,
you can meditate.
==============================
A 'PERFECT' girl
does not f~ight,
does not talk more,
does not flirt with others,
doe~s not lie,
does not cheat,
And
does not
EXIST ALSO!
==============================
The Dream Of Every Girl
Is Not Mee~ting The Perfect Guy
But To EAT Whatever She Wants
Without Getting Fat.
==============================
The man who forgets ~what happened before 15mins is Gajini
But,
The man ~who comes to know what will happen after 15mins is RAJNI..
==============================
if nothing goes right
.
.
.
.
go to left:)
==============================
NOTHING IS I~MPOSSIBLE'
WHEN MAN TRIES AND WOMEN CRIES..
==============================
Part of a bes~t friend’s job should be to immediately
clear your computer history when you die
==============================
"Why is Facebook such a hit?
It works on the principle that-
'People are more interested in others life than their own-!
==============================
Marriage tip :
When you want to get your Wife's Attention :
"just look C~omfortable
and Happy...!"
==============================
WAY~ 2 IMPRESS A GIRL:
Respect Her
Honour Her
Love Her
Protect Her
Care For Her
HOW TO IMPRESS A BOY:
Just Smile Once
&
The Game Is Over.
==============================
Edison Had Rightly Said:
A Fool Can Ask More Questions
Than A Wise Can Answer.
Now We Know~ Why All Of Us
Are Speechless During The Viva
==============================
My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said.
"At the end of the~ ruler is an idiot".
I got punished after I asked,"Which end?"..
==============================
Psychology of life:
At the begin~ning of any relationship every girl treats her boyfriend as "GOD."
But later on somehow the alphabets get reversed.
==============================
Whatsapp Funny SMS and messages. Latest collection of Funny SMS, Funny messages, Funny wishes, Funny text greetings, happy facebook Funny messages, Funny jokes, latest 2017 Hindi and English Funny sms messages. Send Funny sms messages to your friends and family.
FOR ONE OF TWO REASONS
EITHER THEY HAVE
NO WIFE TO GO HOME TO
OR THEY DO
==============================
ACCORDING TO MY PARENTS
EVERY PROBLEM
HAS ONLY ONE SOLUTION
JUST THROW AWAY
THE DAMN
PHONE
==============================
The more I learn about
PEOPLE
the more I like my
DOG.
==============================
Having a good laugh
with friends stimulates endorphins,
The brain's natural painkillers.
So if you need to laugh
and you can't find a friend,
I can lend you a mirror.
==============================
The most amazon thing about
flipkart is that before you could,
somebody else snaps the deal.
==============================
Friends come and
go, like the waves of
the ocean,
.
but the true ones
stay like an Octopus
on your face.
==============================
My girlfriend left a note on the
fridge, "Its not working. I can't
take it anymore. I am going to
my mom's place."
.
I opened the fridge. The light
came on. The beer was cold..
What the hell is she talking
about?
==============================
I asked my girlfriend
what she wanted for
her birthday and she
replied
.
"nothing would make
me happier than
diamonds"
.
So I got her nothing.
==============================
Most stupid questions people usually ask:
In Bus: A fat lady steps on my feet.
.
.
Lady: Sorry did that hurt you?
.
.
Me: Not at all.I'm on local anesthesia.Why don't you try again?
2) When they see me with shorter hair:
Hey have u had a hair cut?
.
.
Me:Nah! It's autumn, my hair's shedding.
3) When someone call's on land-line and asks
where r u?
.
.
Me: M in market with telephone around my neck..
==============================
Common Sense
.
An Illiterate Father with his
educated Son went on a camping Trip,
They setup their tent 'n fell Asleep.
Some hours later, father wakes his son 'n asks:
"Look up to the sky 'n tell me what you see?
.
Son: I see millions of stars.
.
Father: What does that tell you?
.
Son: Astronomically,
It tells that there are
millions of galaxies 'n planets.
.
Father slaps the son hard 'n says:
... Idiot, someone has stolen our Tent!
==============================
Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
&
haven't spoken a word..!!!
Man inside: I'm talking to my wife.....
==============================
While in counseling, a husband wz asked... "What wud u deem ur worst choice? Husband replied, I made too many to remember. The counselor asked, Can't u remember not one? Glancing at his Wife's ring, he said, "I DO... The end of my life"
==============================
I can't stop thinkin about this girl I met last week.
She wz my every desire... Her crooked face, golden teeths and not to mention ridiculously bad breath...
Anyways, enuf about u. I guess I should be tellin u baout this girl, right?
==============================
I ASKED MY HEART ? : WHY CAN'T I SLEEP AT NIGHT ? . . . . . . . .
MY HEART TOLD ME : BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALREADY SLEPT IN THE AFTERNOON.
DON'T ACT LIKE YOU ARE IN LOVE !
==============================
Gal chattin 2 a strnger via msg.
Strngr- Hey, could u gv me ur email id?
Girl-Yeah ihavabf.iluvhim@getlost.com
Strngr- Take mine, itsyourfather@fasgayi.com
==============================
A perfect girl
Doesn't bother,
Doesn't shout,
Doesn't flirt with others,
Doesn't lies,
Doesn't cheat,
.
And
.
Doesn't exists :p
Clappinggg!!
==============================
A kanuri who took his radio 2 repair,
so wen d radio was open a little rat jump out:| ..
he start shouting>:O 2 say jama'a!!! kutareeee mai bada labarai zai gudu=)) =))
hahaha. Jst 2 make u smile pal..
==============================
Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....
OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL......
....UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!!!
==============================
When men cal~ls you hot, they r looking at your body...
When men calls you pretty, they r looking at your face...
When men calls you gor~geous, they r looking at your clothes...
But when they call you beautiful,,,
They are Lying....... :) :D :-[
==============================
Urgent girlfriend needed...... . . . . . . . . . .
Qualification- must b the only daughter of a petrol pump owner...!!!
==============================
My nights are becoming sleepless.
My days are becoming restless .....
so I asked god.. is this love?????
He said!! .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .........
Idiot, summer has started....
==============================
Grl: I Can't Marry~ u Give My Luv Letters Back.
Next Day Boy Gave her a big bag & said :"find out urs .& get lost"
==============================
Winners say "I must do something!"
Losers say "something must be done!"
Winners have no ~time to read this SMS
Losers post and read this SMS.
That's why I posted a~nd U idiot R reading dis.
But don't b disappointed, Coz U R equally born 2 win!!!!
==============================
Evolution of MAN
Without Shaadi - SPIDER MAN
Shaadi k Waqt - SUPER MAN
Shaadi k Baad - GENTLE MAN
Aur Agar Biwi Khubsurat ho to?? Saari Umar - WATCHMAN...
==============================
KISI bhi Ladki se poocho, to kehti hai......
"I'M ALREADY COMMITTED" . . . . . . . . . .
BUT kisi ne ye poocha "KITNON SE"
==============================
A kid on his way 2 home w~ith his mom saw a couple kissing on the road.......
He suddenly shouted & said:- Look mom look, that boy nd girl are Fighting for a chewing-guM........
==============================
Its a fact that when a baby born,
doctor slap its face to ~make it start breathing,
but rare exceptional cases like you, when born! Doctor slaps himself..... :-)
==============================
Why do girls prefer a~rranged marriage ? ? ? ... ... ? ? ?
Because an unknown namuna is Better than a well known kameena .
==============================
Lalu Aur Mayavati
Mayawati LaLu K Ghar Elephant K Sath Ayi
LALU- Bhaiswa K Sath Aye Ho?
MAYA- Dikhta Nhi Elephantwa Hai
Lalu- Dhatt Pagli, Hum Elephantwa Se Puch Rha Hu.
==============================
It is A JOKE GIRLS USED TO SAY:
1980: Love me But do not touch me.
1990: Touch me, But do not kiss me.
2000: Kiss me, But do not do any thing else.
2010: Do everything, But do not tell anybody.
2011: Do everything, Otherwise I will tell everybody that you can't do anything! ...
just wondering how what this world will become this year.
==============================
Accident k bad driver ghuse me: Mene car ki head lights on kr k btaya tha, k pehle mje nikal jane do. .
Chaudry: Mene b to wiper chala k btaya tha, “Na Soneya Na”.
==============================
Patni Mobile, Pati Simcard.
Dono M~ile To, Hua Recharge.
Beta Hua To Incoming, Beti Hui To Outgoing.
Twins Hue To, Bonus Talktime.
Kuch Na Hua To, Network Problem.
==============================
u r Ultimate
u r Lovely
u r Likable
u r Unique in short u r ullu
==============================
Google Facts:
50% people use Google as a serch engine.
.
.
.
.
Remaining 50% people use Google to check if their internet is connected or not...
==============================
Advantage of speaking truth is
that you don't have to remember
what you said...
.
.
But
.
.
Telling Lies increase your Memory.
Think different.. :)
==============================
A Psychological fact : ~When 2 couples meet face to face, wives look at each other's dresses, and husbands look at each other's wives!..;-)
==============================
Shaadi Jaldi hone ki Hydrabadi mannat,, . .
"kab aate wo dina, Ek takiye pe do Gardana. Kab tak Akele sona, Ab to Begum honach hona"
==============================
If girl in lv, Her parents ask: who is dat IDIOT?
If boy in lv, His parents ask: Idiot, who is dat girl?
MORAL: No mattr whoevr in lv, Boyz r alwz idiots..
==============================
Love Happens Automatically.
.
.
.
Manual Working Of It
Is Called Flirting :D
==============================
Villain cuts t~he brake cables of Hero/Heroine's vehicle and the vehicle runs miles before coming to a stop or crashes into a tree.
We all know you just need to release the accelera~tor and the vehicle would come to a stop.
==============================
Golden Words
"Love is the seventh sense which destroys all the six senses".
And u become Non sense! -)
==============================
For a GIRL Who says,"All BOYS are the same"
should be asked;
Who told HER to try ALL OF THEM!!:-P
==============================
As a rule, man is a fool,
When it's hot~, he wants cool,
When it's cool, he wants hot,
Always wanting what is not. :)
==============================
Sumtimes u may catch me staring at u
Its not coz u r hands~ome n cute
My granny told me dat devils hv horns & tails,
I Keep wondering whr r urs?
==============================
~ Family watching TV ~
Husband to Wife: Who is Sunny Leone?!
Son(9 year old): The one, whose videos you're hiding in your PC, in Sunny Deol folder!
==============================
What always surprise me is that, whn ppl blow their noses...
thy look into their hankies..to see wht comes out..
I mean wht do they expect..
.....
DIAMOND!!!!!
==============================
What are the most power full THREE words
Other than "I LOVE YOU"???
.
.
.
.
.
"SALARY IS CREDITED"
==============================
Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show? Absolutely nothing!
==============================
Wat always surprises me is dat wen people blow their noses,
they luk in 2 their ~hankies 2 c wat coms out.
I mean wat they expect. . . . . .
diamonds??:-
==============================
If you feel dog tired at night,
it may be because you've growled all day long.
==============================
If u like my sms, it means I'm SMART..
If u save , means u agree I'm SMART..
If u 4wrd , u spread that I'm SMART..
&
If u delete , u r jealous, bcoz I'm SMART..
==============================
Love is an expen~sive gift.
Dont beg it from cheap people.................
==============================
New year vacation is time off to remind employees
that the business can get along without them.
==============================
My secretary quit.
She caught me kissing my wife.
==============================
If you mention how nice she looks,
it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet,
it's male indifference.
==============================
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
==============================
Money can't buy happ~iness,
but it sure makes misery easier to live with
==============================
If God is watching us, the~ least we can do is be entertaining.
==============================
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening',
and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
==============================
Children: You spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk.
Then the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
==============================
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than standing i~n a garage makes you a car.
==============================
Maths sir: What is a 'line'?
.
.
.
.
.
A genius answered:
A line is a dot, Going for a walk.
==============================
What's the difference between stupid and idiot?
Stupid will delete this joke. Idiot will forward this joke.
Ha ha,what will you do now?
==============================
A very true saying which all of u would agree
"Paying money for othe~r's mistake will happen only in..
"COLLEGES"!!
In the name of "revaluation"..
==============================
We are not addicted to the FacebooK.
WE only use it when w~e have time: lunch time,
break time, off time, no time, this time, that time, any time, all the time
==============================
Whenever a boy takes any decision,,
he closes his eyes,,
thinks a lot,,
listen to his heart,,
uses his brain,,
n finally do what his girlfriend Sayz..
==============================
Why Don't ELEPHANTS Ride Bikes..?
They Don't Have a Thumb To Ring The Bell..
==============================
every tear is a sign of -onions
every silence is a si~gn of =zero balance
every smile is a sign of -daily brushing
life is simple dont make it complex
==============================
Wat is d most proudest moment in a students life and
specially at time of exam..????
.
.
.
.
Standin in middle of d exam nd asking
"Whoever has my answ~ersheet plz return"...
==============================
When Somebody Says
"Expect The Unexpected"
.
.
.
Slap Him/Her~ On The Face
And Say
"You Didn't Expect That, Did You ?
==============================
A Friend Of Mine
Said:
"0nions Are The Only
Food That Makes You
Cry . . . "
That Was Before
I Hit Him In The Face
With A "Watermelon..."
==============================
Dear
Potato Chips Companies,
I Find It Hella Annoying To Pay
20 Bucks For A B~ag Of
60% Chips And 40% Air.
Please Stop Doing That,
Thank You
==============================
I heard that good looks can kill...
.
.
.
.
So, please don't look at me
.
.
.
.
I don't wanna see you die.!!!
==============================
Funny Sentence Written On The T Shirt
Of A Beautiful Girl Walking On Side Of The Road:
You Are Not Looking At The Road Right Now, Be Careful
==============================
A guy sitting wid his gf, drinking beer says,
"I love u"
Gf says-"is it u or~ d beer talking?"
.
.
Guy replies,"its me,
.
.
.
.
talking 2 d beer"
==============================
what is old age ??
Ans. When u start turning off lighta for economical reasons
rather than for romantic reasons !!!
==============================
Last Words said by the A~merican Soldiers to Osama Bin Laden..
.
.
.
Attly battly futtly
(GAME ENDS)..JSK
==============================
A cute love quote:
"Even my 2 yr c~ousin has started to walk without any support,
But my 18 yr Girl Friend still holds my hand while walking."
==============================
Only Rajnikanth can Delete the Recycle Bin
Mind it...!!!
==============================
scienctist have deploved 4G in mobile but
ragnikant mobile is 5G ! mind it!
==============================
Rajnikant was born on 30th february..
Since then february ~decided not to give this date to anyone else..!! Mind it.
==============================
Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????
==============================
Only 2 types O~f Communications are the fastest in the world
.
.
Wh r u thinking!!!...
its e-mail & female..
==============================
Boy got rejected & Girl selected in interview for the same reason...
think...??
??
Reason
They both ha~d 1st Buton
of their shirts opened in front of
the jury..
==============================
Microsoft Bought Skype For
8.5 Billion Dollars . . .
.
Stupids
.
.
.
They Could Have Download
It For Free ...
==============================
There May Not Be Any Value
Of Me For You,
But
I m PRIC~ELESS To Those
People
.
.
From Whom
I Have Borrowed Money
==============================
Earlier It Was
Either People Were
'Working'~ or 'Not Working'
Now Its
People Are Either
'Not Working' or They r
'Networking'.!!
==============================
LOVE HURTS. .
Just Kidding,
But
.
.
.
Actually Seeing Someone Else
Eating A Pizza n Having Coke
And Not S~haring
HURTS Even More ...
==============================
What Is FACEBOOK ?
.
.
.
Its A Place Where Boy Posts
Joke, Gets No Response...
And
If Girl Posts The Same Joke,
She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments
& 60 Friends Requests
==============================
Height Of Physics:
A conductor kicks old man out of bus.
Police send conduc~tor jail & gave him shock bt he had no effect..
.
Y
.
.
Because he was a BAD conductor...
==============================
New Style Of Break- Up !! :P
A Bf Threw 6 Cricket Balls At His Gf...
Girl Yelled "What Was That For".. :O :O
..
Boy Said "Its Over"
==============================
Every Student Gets
0pportunity ~To Enjoy
Their Student Life. . .
But ,
Some Miss Those Beautiful
Moments & T~hose Stupid
People Are Known As
.
.
.
.
.
" TOPPERS "
==============================
Question By The
STUDENTS ...
If A Single Teacher
Can't Teach Us All
The Subjects,
Then
How Could You Expect
A Single Student To Learn
Six Subject..?
==============================
Best Line
By A Cockroach To A Young Guy:
"I Can Make Yo~ur Girlfriend Scream,
More Louder Than You Can..
==============================
Which Is Very Best,
Amazing N Un-Answerable Feeling ?
.
.
.
When
Your Crush Asks U About Ur Crush.
==============================
IM DA BEST, I CAN PROVE IT:
I can see tea in tea cup, can u see world in world cup,
I can send my addres~s to ur mobile,
can u send ur mobile to my address.
==============================
EXACT DEFINITION OF engineering..
Engineering is ~the study of finding a black cat in a dark room,
u know wh,when der is no cat..
==============================
I watch so many crime shows on Tv,
that when I turn off the Tv set,
I wipe my finger prints 0ff the remote
==============================
I watch so ma~ny crime shows on Tv,
that when I turn off the Tv set,
I wipe my finger prints 0ff the remote
==============================
Question of the day
World Me Esa Konsa Writer He Jo Kabi Khud Nhi Likhta?
.
Socho
.
or Socho
Ans:Type-Writer
==============================
Question:-
DUNIYA ~ka sabse bada aur khatrnaak jaadu kahan hota hai?
Nahi pata!!!!??
Ans:
Beauty parlor me..!!
==============================
if you are loyal to your ~wife, u might get heaven after death..
but if u r not loyal to your wife , you will surely get heaven on earth.
==============================
Anybody who believes that the way to a man's
heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
==============================
Why do people point at their wrist
when they ~want to know the time?
I don't point at my groin when
I want to find out where the toilets are!!!
==============================
once rajnikanth went for a walk
and in the afternoon the police arrested him.Why?
Because he reached USA without Visa!!
==============================
Behind every successful man,
there is a woman but behind every satisfied woman,
there is a tired man.
==============================
Google won't find R~ajinikanth because
you don't find Rajinikanth;
Rajinikanth finds you.
==============================
There is no such thing as evolution,
it's just a list of creatur~es that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
==============================
What is Talent and wt is Intelligence ?
Walking on a ti~ght rope over Niagra Falls is Talent.
not Trying such a thing is called Intelligence.
==============================
There are three different me's,
the person you think I am, the person I think I am, and the person I really am.
==============================
The grass always looks greener on the other side.
Doesn't it make you wonder what kind of fertilizer they are using?
==============================
There are some fools in this world who
always reply no for e~very question we ask....
Now you tell me are you such a person ??
==============================
Wen u prop~ose a girl, itz Direct Marketing
Wen u cal her itz TELE Marketing
Wen she walks to u its BRAND recognition
Wen she slaps u its Customer Feedback
==============================
RAJINIKANTH was teaching his grandson how to use a gun and save ur self...
.
And lol
.
.
Osama Bin Laden died by mistake in Pakistan..
==============================
only a few people can feel the rain,othrs just get wet'...
Much awes~ome: 'only few love can feel the pain or depart,
others just find ANOTHER..
==============================
If you are sitting in a class and
every one's heads are down and yours is up.......
That's not d proof dat
' You are confident '
.
.
.
U just don't have a mobile phone.......
==============================
don't steal money...!!!
goverment hates competition..
==============================
don't steal money...!!!
goverment hates competition..
==============================
Problem of~ solving a problem is not a problem,
but when a problem solves a pr~oblem without any problem
then the problem is not at all a problem .
Any problem??
==============================
Similarity B/W Love & FOOD
If U Cross Th~e Limits
The Result Vil B Vomiting.
==============================
Height Of Cruelty:
Throwing ~Ur Girlfriend ;
Out of D Window & Shouting:
.
.
.
Love Is In the Air Baby.
Keep Flying..
==============================
"People think smoking is hard to quit !!
Oh God, clearly
.
.
.
they haven't tried to quit Facebook yet!"
==============================
Rays Emittin~g From The
Books Are Directly Proportional
To Sleepiness. . .
.
.
.
.
.
"STUDENT'~S 1st Law 0f
Nalaiqness"
==============================
What Is Extreme Height Of Hygiene ?
.
.
.
.
.
An Architect Washing His Hands With Dettol
After Making Drawing Of a Toilet
==============================
Girl to Another Girl:
"You are so Be~autiful
Other Girl:
"Thank You
Ur Beautiful Too
Now;
Boy to Another Boy:
"Hi, You are Handsome
Other Boy:
"GAY Saala.."
==============================
Whats The Difference Between Boyfriend And Motorbike???
Motor Bike Is First Kicked And Then Used...
But A Boyfriend Is First Used And Then Kicked....:)))
==============================
Wat Is D Maximum Limit Of Telling A Lie??
.
.
,
.
A Boy Telling His~ Chinese Girlfriend
"TERE MAST MAST DO NAIN"
==============================
Its True That Love Is Blind.
Because I Couldnt See
.
.
.
Her Father ~Was Coming
When I Was Kissing....
==============================
Beggars with plates and Freshers with resume are not allowed inside..
A board in front of IT COMPANY
==============================
Dedicated to all science student
Dedicated to all science students
Once rajnikanth had to kill the villain
So he slapped himself
...
...
The villain died due to RESONANCE.JSK
==============================
the toilet paper wrapping sa~ys 100% recycled...
lets all take a moment to think about this for a second
==============================
Appu: Do you~ know that it is not fall that kills you,
it is the sudden stop at the end.
Submitted by: Anveesha
Place: Mumbai, India
His own
Every man should have a wife - preferably his own!
==============================
My aunt afraids of ants,
my uncle understands her and collected
some ants to tease her.
==============================
A Survey in America:
50% Teen~agers;
Live with Their Parents..=)
.
.
Rest 50% Teenagers;
.
.
Are already PAR~ENTS..
==============================
Men Socialize By Insulting Each Other,
But They Don't Mean It..
N
Women Socialize By Complimenting Each Other,
And They Don't Really Mean It Either
==============================
People Says Love Brings Flavors & Taste To Life..
.
But ..
Personally I Believe ..
PAANI PURI Does A Better Job
==============================
3 Unforgettable Things In Our Life..
-
1. Breakfast
2. Lunch
3. Dinner
No Need To Be Emotional Everytime
==============================
My Words Are Antibiotic, My Smile Is analgesic,
My Touch Is Anti Infla~mmatory,My Presence Is Antiseptic,
My Feeling Is antipyretic... Thats Why I Am
Pharmacist.
==============================
An expert is one who tells you simple thing
in a confused way ~in such a fashion as to
make you think that confusion is your own fault.
==============================
Girl's Status msg on Facebook:'Feeling Sad' - 1702 comments.
Guy's Status msg:'Goin 2 commit Suicide'
1 Comment - "Dude Whos gonna use ur bike now
==============================
Rajnikanth decided to carry out long jump two days later...
Breaking news rajni the 1st indian to step on moon.
==============================
It is said that if U close Ur eyes,
U see d person U love d most
& when I do that,
.
.
.
.
.
Slide show begins..
==============================
Dear M~other-in-law,
Don`t teach me how to handle my children,
I m living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
==============================
boy to girl: I love not only u
gir: kya....
boy: I also love w, x, y,z
==============================
To all my frnds:
"If i come to know that i wud die soon,
i wud hide it from u till i die, because u idiots will ask treat for that also.
==============================
Every brother does'nt like his sister to chat with a guy in late nite,
bt evry brother wants to~ talk to som1's sister in late night.
Crazy world:-):-)ah ah
==============================
I'm In Love ~With My Bed,
We're Perfect For Each
Other!
But
...My Alarm Clock
Just Doesn't Seem To
Want Us Together !
==============================
All Sincere Girls Fall In Luv Wid
STUPID BOYS
& All Sincere Boys Fall In Luv Wid
Stupid Girlz.
I'm Neither Stupi~d Nor Sincere
Thats WHY I'm Single!
==============================
Like This Status,
If U Chec~k Your Update On Fb During Study :-P
Or Facebook Take Your Study Time ; )
==============================
Once a Photo of Rajanikant was given for xerox..
.
.
Dnt even try 2 guess wht happened..
.
.
.
.
We got 2 Copies of Xerox Machine..!!!!!
==============================
I asked My Heart:
Why can't I Sleep at Night?
My Heart ~told me:
Because
...
You already Slept in the Afternoon...
So,
Don't Ov~erreact like
You are in Love.. ! :)
==============================
RAJANIKANT says,
"yenna rascala, mind it"
wah wah wah..
...
.
.
.
RAJANIKANT says,
"yenna rascala, mind it"
ACP: abhijit, lash yahi kahi hai, find it..!!
wah wah wah..
==============================
If u didn't have a GOOD DAY,
don't ~worry.
There are
many
.
.
.
.
Other biscuits
like
50-50
20-20
Parle-G
Little Hearts.. etc
Try them!!
==============================
Do Not keep all ur Work For Tomorrow...
Always remember U Can ~Also Do It DAY AFTER 2MRW..!!So, Enjoy Life..!!Be lazy!!!!
Think crazy...!!!!:-)jai hind
==============================
Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test,
the rough sh~eet he used is known as Oxford dictionary.
==============================
Why did British leave India in 1947 only ?
Becoz
They came to knw unka baap RAJNIKANT was going to born in 1948..:)D.D
==============================
Q: Why Rajnikanth doesn`t play cricket?
A: Bcoz Sachin Tendulkar requested him to keep his world records intact.
==============================
A boy broke the window of Rajinikanth`s house while playing cricket. R
ajni warned the boy to play slowly.
The boy is now known as Misbah-Ul-Haq.
==============================
Santa found the answer to the most difficult question ever:
What will come first, ~Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
==============================
once a farmer put up s~care crow with Rajnikant's picture as face.
Crows brought back the corn they stole last evening.
==============================
Women ar~e angels , and when someone cuts their wings,
they continue to fly .... on a broomstick.
They're flexible that way!
==============================
the pessimist sees the dark of the tunnel.
The optimist sees the light at the end.
and the realist sees the train coming.
==============================
- **WARNING** - This joke is a virus.
Do not read it,
or your eyes will me~lt and yuu woinyt be avle toi seee anygthuig
==============================
If boy propose a girl
~Her 5 ans
1 haa
2 na
3 v r frnd
4 i luv sum1
5 i have family problem
==============================
If girl propose a boy
ha
ha
ha
ha
ha
kamino koi to standard banao.
==============================
There r many brave people who alwayas want 2 be adventurous.
Few choose the armed f~orces & fight for the nation,
others get married & fight for their survival..
==============================
My wif
e treats me like GOD.! She
makes NO noti~ce of my exi
stence till she wants some thing
==============================
Men are like toilets. Either they are taken or they are full of shit!!
==============================
Just saw a Sri Lanka~n dude drinking tea out of a saucer.
He said, "The Indians took the cup".
==============================
Best relationship needs no promises no demands n no expectation,
it jst need 2 pe~ople 1fool like u n 1cool like me. :)
==============================
No more tsunamis will occur because
rajnikanth stopped washing his clothes in the ocean
==============================
a friend will visit you in jail, a good friend will bail you out of jail,
but a best friend will be in the next room screaming
"THAT WAS AWE~SOME!"
==============================
tip to reduce weight:
first turn you~r head to the left and then turn it to the right.
repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
==============================
When The Teacher Says
"GET OUT"
It Means . . .
You Have Won The
ARGUMENT .
==============================
Those Who Say That
Words Can Never Hurt
Them ,
Never Got ~Hit
In The Head With The
DICTIONARY . .
==============================
Dear Boys,
Don't Text Two Girls
The Sa~me Thing Trying
To Get Them Both To Like
You. . .
They Might Be Hanging Out
Together... =P =D
Sincerely, BUSTED!
==============================
There Are Two Choices
In Life:
Stay Single And Be Miserable
0r
Get Married And Wish You
Were Dead. . .
==============================
If walking is good for health,
The postman would be immortal.
A rabbit ru~ns and hopsand only lives 15 years.
A Turtle doesnt run,does nothing..and leaves 150 years..!!
==============================
Cute lines:
'Man found thousands of way to cheat god..
But God punishes him by simply making him to fall in love..!
==============================
worst possible way to irritate a person-
Asking him to think POSITIVE when he is waiting
anxiously expcting ~d results of his HIV test-:-))
==============================
Bachelors think dat
Married man r lucky..
Married thin~k dat
Bachelors r lucky..
D point is dat
Bachelors think at night
&
Married think at day time..
==============================
"If a girl is not in luv wid any boy, she is missin somethin in life"
"If a boy is in love wid a girl, He'll miss Everythin in life.
==============================
Simple but true: The person who sends more msgs to all his friends..
Is the one who is still single..!!
==============================
Wat Is 'PYAR'.?
It's a Group Of~ Friends Sitting In a BAR With Bottles In Hand And Saying-
'P' 'YAR'..
==============================
The Shortest Relation in Life is
Between
Students & Books
They Get Commited Couple of Days before Exam
&
Afte~r Exam..
Break Up..;)
==============================
keep in mind 3 laws while meditating 1.i am nothing. 2.
i need noth~ing. 3. i am goinging to do nothing.
if you have this 3 principals,
you can meditate.
==============================
A 'PERFECT' girl
does not f~ight,
does not talk more,
does not flirt with others,
doe~s not lie,
does not cheat,
And
does not
EXIST ALSO!
==============================
The Dream Of Every Girl
Is Not Mee~ting The Perfect Guy
But To EAT Whatever She Wants
Without Getting Fat.
==============================
The man who forgets ~what happened before 15mins is Gajini
But,
The man ~who comes to know what will happen after 15mins is RAJNI..
==============================
if nothing goes right
.
.
.
.
go to left:)
==============================
NOTHING IS I~MPOSSIBLE'
WHEN MAN TRIES AND WOMEN CRIES..
==============================
Part of a bes~t friend’s job should be to immediately
clear your computer history when you die
==============================
"Why is Facebook such a hit?
It works on the principle that-
'People are more interested in others life than their own-!
==============================
Marriage tip :
When you want to get your Wife's Attention :
"just look C~omfortable
and Happy...!"
==============================
WAY~ 2 IMPRESS A GIRL:
Respect Her
Honour Her
Love Her
Protect Her
Care For Her
HOW TO IMPRESS A BOY:
Just Smile Once
&
The Game Is Over.
==============================
Edison Had Rightly Said:
A Fool Can Ask More Questions
Than A Wise Can Answer.
Now We Know~ Why All Of Us
Are Speechless During The Viva
==============================
My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said.
"At the end of the~ ruler is an idiot".
I got punished after I asked,"Which end?"..
==============================
Psychology of life:
At the begin~ning of any relationship every girl treats her boyfriend as "GOD."
But later on somehow the alphabets get reversed.
==============================
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