Funny Computer Quotes New 2017

1. Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers. 
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3. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. 
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6. ➽➽What does the computer programmer say to his fellow programmer when he asks him to borrow $1000? I'll give you 1024 to make it even.
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8. ➼➼Why do nerds confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT31=DEC25. 
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11. ➽➽My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. 
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13. Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics. 
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15. ⟸⟸My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! 
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17. ⤊⤊If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet. 
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20. ➾➾I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. 
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23. If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!
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25. Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. 
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28. I changed my password everywhere to 'incorrect.' That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, 'Your password is incorrect.
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31. ⟱⟱I know how to live my life to the fullest.. but let's speak later after I finish playing some computer games. 
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33. The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. 
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36. Life is too short to remove USB safely. 
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39. I⟷⟷ called tech support and told them my computer is frozen. They said to hold the power button, and I was like 'Ummm.. it's covered with ice man.
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42. ⤊⤊Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.
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45. The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.