Chaudry sent an sms 2@ his pregnent wife .
2 seconds later a report came 2 his cell;
Chaudry started dancing.the report said"delivered".
================================
A Punjabi was writing the@ passive voice of 'I MADE A MISTAKE'
Guess what did he write?? . ' I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE !
================================
A Chaudry & his wife filed an application for divorce in Lahore High Court.
Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Chaudry replied : Ok! We will apply next year.
================================
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
================================
Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?
Interviewee: The company relocated and didn't tell me where...
================================
Question Of The Year
Students raat ko Q padhte he?
Q
Answar: Qki din me to dhoop padhti hai
================================
why did obama came to india ?
To receive the payment of nasa's rocket he sold to RAJNIKANTH for diwali..:)
================================
How Newton Died ?
.
.
He died After seen South Indian Movies..
.
Coz He Couldnt Bear Rajnikant Breakin All The Law Of Physics which He Made...
================================
QUES - Where can u see mangoes? On mango trees?
NO.At fruit shop? WRONG AGAIN....Fir kaha?
ANS - Jaha jaha women go,piche piche Man(goes).
================================
QUESTION:-
"Sharam kya hai"
ANS: sharam us cheez ka naam hai jo
agr tum logon ko aa jaye to mera inbox kabhi khali na rahe. ;-)
================================
Q: Why Girls Cry On Wedding Day At The Time Of Departure?
Ans: Wo Sochti Hai
Ke Itne Saal Intezaar Karne Ke baad DULHA Mila bhi Toh Sirf Ek
================================
Ques-Mohabbat ho Jati he Ya karni Padti he
Ans-Ladki Sundar ho or Honda Activa Pe ho to ho jati he
Baddsurat ho or Honda City Pe ho to karni padti hai.;-)
================================
Aisi kaun si cheez hai,
jo kharidane wala kabhi pehanta nahi aur pehane wala kabhi kharidta nahi,
.
.
.
.
HUGGIES..
================================
What is difference between bus conductor & driver?
Ans. Conductor so jaye to kisi ka ticket nahi katega or
driver so gaya to sab ka ticket kat jayega
================================
Why Madras is named Chennai?
.
.
.
.
.
B'Coz Madrasis wear Lungi in which there is no zip...
CHEN-NAI
Samjhe
================================
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
================================
Teacher to Electronics Students
NAADE ko Eng@lish mai kya kehte hai ?
Student:- P.H.D.
Teacher: Kya Matlab ?
Pejama Holding Device.
================================
Q: How many kids with @Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hey! Do you wanna go play PlayStation!?
================================
Q: How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3 - one to argue for @the rights of the old lightbulb,
one to argue for the rights of the new lightbulb,
and one to argue for the rights of the light socket
================================
Q: How can you tell ET is a Port Vale fan?
A: Because he looks like one.
================================
Q: Why does Alan Pardew keep visiting Argos?
A: Because that's the only way he can pick up any Premier points!
================================
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It may take a while for me to get hard, I just got laid yesterday.
================================
Q.) Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for the dinner party??
A.) He was given the cold shoulder!
================================
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist
================================
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
================================
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
================================
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
================================
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
================================
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.
================================
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
================================
Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.
================================
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
================================
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: Dam.
================================
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment.
================================
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
================================
Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.
================================
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
================================
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka. And what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.
================================
Q: Why did the nurse have a long pole and two rubber gloves?
A: Her way of not getting pregnant.
================================
Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: If you aim it well enough.
================================
Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
================================
Q: What is a double-blind study?
A: Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your ...
================================
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist,
one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
================================
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!
================================
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?
A: An f****ing know it all.
================================
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.
================================
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
================================
Who is D laziest
person in D world?
:
:
ans: Who invented D SNOOZE option in alarm...
================================
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher
than the Empire State Building?
?
??
???
Think litte.
Dont know.
.
..
...
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can’t jump!
================================
Today is chocolate day,
Dairy milk 4 love,
Perk for friends,
Kit Kat for best friends,
Polo for hatred,
And mentos for cool persons,
what do you choose 4 me,
Reply is must...
================================
Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But
Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”
================================
Hurry up, Fill in the blanks with “HAAN” or “NAHIN”
1. ______ main insaan nahin hoon.
2. ______ main hi chor hoon.
3. ______ mera koi ilaz nahin hai.
4. ______ main hi idiot hoon
Let me see who is brave !!!
================================
Q. What Do You Call A Woman Who Knows Where Her Husband Is Every Night?
A. Widow
================================
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: That depends on whether it has health insurance.
A2: None. They just tell it to take two asprin and come round to the surgery later.
A3: None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary.
A4: None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.
A5: Only one, but he has to ...
================================
Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face
================================
Q. Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
A. It had nobody to go with
================================
Q. What do you call a leper in a bath?
A. Soup!
================================
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water?
A: Bob
================================
Q. What has two legs and bleeds easily?
A. Half a dog.
================================
Q: What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A fridge
================================
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too.
================================
Q: How do you get a one-handed idiot out of a tree?
A: Wave!
================================
Q: What's the difference between a Southern fairy tale and a Northern fairy tale?
A: A Southern fairy tale begins:
"Once upon a time..." and a Northern fairy
tale begins: "You'll never believe this bag of sh*te!"
================================
Q. What do Mexicans put under their carpets?
A. Underlay, underlay!
================================
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001.
That is 1 to change it,
60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and
500,000 to buy the replica kit.
================================
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
================================
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
================================
Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any.
================================
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
================================
Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any. 1
================================
Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat?
A: Fast food
================================
Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven?
A:) Because they are afraid of what they have created!
================================
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."
================================
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!
================================
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake?
A:) MilkShake
================================
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.
================================
Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
A: In advertisements.
================================
Q: What's the difference between a Kiss, a car & a monkey?
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear & the monkey is U dear!
================================
Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.
================================
Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals?
A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot,
bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!
================================
Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,
bt never near girls college.
Why?
Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!
================================
Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips?
Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.
================================
Q: If a Devil catches your wife,
what will you do?
A: You can do nothing...
if the devil has done the MISTAKE,
he has to face the CONSEQUENCES!!
================================
Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common?
A. They are both empty from the neck up.
================================
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
================================
Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map.
================================
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night u reach out 4 da Vaseline gel & pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake.
================================
Q. What do you call a fat woman waiting for something ?
Ans : MOTI-Vating !
================================
Q.Why did Santa Singh take off his clothes while writing exams?
A. Coz it was written in the paper "Answer in brief" !
================================
if, 1=5
2=25
3=125
4=625
5= ??
before scrollin think.
Answer is 1.
Remember the First Line..
1=5..?
Moral - Don't @Complicate Simple Problems in Life!
================================
did u know what is mean by MAN
M=marvelous
A=and
N=nice
and the word WOMAN mean is
W=wanted
O=other
MAN=man
================================
Answer this and prove that u r intelligent
Black is a co@lour
White is also a color
But Black&White T V is not a colour T V!!
WHY?
Answer It!
================================
Q. If it took e@ight men ten hours to build a wall,
how Long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
================================
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor? Without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
================================
Wo Konsa DRIVER Ha Jis Ka LICENSE Nhi Hota?
Khud Soch K Niche Answer Dekhna!
Yar Khud Soch,
Socho
Yar
Socho
Ans:SCREW DRIVER,
================================
Question: Define a boss?
Ans: An idiot who@ thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month.
================================
Q. Why is A.P the land of underwears ?
A. 'cos there they keep saying - yemUNDEE, chappUNDEE, koorchUNDDEE etc.
================================
Q. What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis' to Hindustani Music ?
A. Raga Kirvani.
================================
Q. What is the heig@ht of optimism?
A. Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
================================
Q. What is the In@dian version of a hat-trick?
A. 3 runs in 3 balls.
================================
What Iz PurE & SiMpLe Definiti0n of Acc0unting?
.
.
.
1+1=2
(In Private Sector)
.
.
.
.
1+ 1= 11
(In Government Sect0r)
================================
Q. Why were the t@eacher''''s eyes crossed?
A. She couldn''''t control her pupils!
================================
Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!
================================
Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. He felt crummy!
================================
Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A. A stomach-cake!
================================
Q. What kind o@f key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A. A turkey!
================================
Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!
================================
Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty!
================================
Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A. Because his parents were in a jam!
================================
Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?
A. Tomato Paste!
================================
Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He could n't concentrate!
================================
Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
================================
Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
A. Mockaroni!
================================
Q. Why don''''''''t they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
================================
Why Do Students Sleep For Long Hours..??
Fantastic Answer Said By Students..
.
.
.
.
.
'Our Dreams R Always BIG'!
================================
If Child Labour Is A Crime
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then Why @Teacher Gives
Homework ??
================================
There are som@e fools in this world who always reply no for every question we ask....
Now you tell me are you such a person ??
================================
"Why is Facebook such a hit?
It works on the principle that-
'People are more interested in others life than their own-!
================================
Wht is the Diff b/w
Young Age & Old Age?
*
Simple..
In Young Age
Phone Is Fu@ll Of Darlings Numbers..
In Old Age
Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!-
================================
Peak of Optimism
Intrviwr:If Earth sta@rts rotating 30 times faster, then wat'll happen?
Candidte:V'll get Salary everyday!
Express Urself Smartly
================================
Trick of Weak
Do you Want To Make A Call Without Reduce Balance From Ur Phone?
ya ?
Then Make That Call From Any Other Phone!
================================
A Ques Asked In A T@alent Test:
If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer
- Why d Hell Should I recognise?
================================
Agar preshani ka ta@lluq dimag se he to heart attack Q hota he
Or Agar pyar ka talluq Dil se he to pyar me log Pagal Q ho jate hai
================================
Yarr Ek baat batao
.
.
.
1+1=
2+2=
4+4=
8+8=
.
.
.
In sab sawalo ka jawab plus k bajay - karne par 0 kyo aata hai?
================================
Difference betwee@n rain in INDIA and DUBAI:
In Dubai after rain,water disappears in 5 mins.
In india after rain,the road disappears in 5 mins...!
================================
When There Iz A L@ong Gap B/w Engagement And Marriage, "Who Is Most Benefited??"
"BOY..?
"NO...!
"GIRL..?
"NO...!
.
.
"Its The Mobile Company"
================================
Q: wadz most colourful thing except rainbow?
a: its a smiling negro wearin a red shirt n yellow pant with
ornage umbrella standin on a green grass under da blue sky
================================
teachers to students
students if there will be no electricity then how will u watch t.v
students said by burning the candle.
================================
What's d differenc@e between people
who pray in Temples and people who pray in d Exam Centres?
Those in d exam centres are damn serious.
================================
Why Is The Mind Of A Woman
Cleaner Than that Of A Man's?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because..
She Keeps Changing It All The Time.!!!
================================
Why does d bride & groom xchange garlands at d time of wedding.....
B'coz they say each affectionately that :
"DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...........
================================
What is the heig@ht of confusion?
Two earth worms Playing
HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
================================
Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?
A. With cabbage patches!
================================
Q. When do you s@top at green and go at red?
A. When you''''''''re eating a watermelon!
================================
Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
A. Jell-o!
================================
Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fly!
================================
Q. Why did Goofy @put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
================================
Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
================================
Q. Why did the boy @tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn''''''''t want to wake the sleeping pills!
================================
Q: What is the full form@ of MATHS?
A: Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing students.
================================
Q. What do your boss @and a slinky have in common?
A. They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
================================
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A. The car salesman can probably drive!
================================
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A. The car salesman can probably drive!
================================
Q. Did you hear that Fed Ex and UPS are going to merge?
A. Yeah. They're going to call it FED UP!
================================
Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
A. The Tooth Fairy
================================
Q. What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can't?
A. Cum in five different flavours.
================================
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no eye deer.
================================
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-Eye Deer. (sound like No Idea)
================================
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
================================
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A. A computer only needs the information punched into it once.
================================
Q. What do you call 100 men at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
================================
Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A. Don't ask her out again.
================================
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
================================
Q. Why did the tree fall down?
A. The koala forgot to let go.
================================
Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system?
A. A refund.
================================
Q. What's a Lepers favorite sport?
A. Football.
================================
Q. Why did the ref call a penalty during the Leper Hockey game?
A. Because there was a face off in the corner.
================================
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.
================================
Q. What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
A. Swim!
================================
Q. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
A. Wipe him off, apologize and RUN!
================================
Q. Why did the leper crash his car?
A. He left his foot on the accelerator.
================================
Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.
================================
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.
================================
Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
================================
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever Dick
================================
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
A. About two - if they're thinly sliced.
================================
Q. What's a hindu?
A. Lays eggs.'
================================
Q. What do you call Maoris on Prozac?
A. Once were worriers.
================================
Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.
================================
Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.
================================
Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!
================================
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.
================================
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
================================
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
================================
Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.
================================
Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.
================================
Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.
================================
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
================================
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
================================
Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
================================
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.
================================
Who Wants 2 B A
$MILLIONAIRE$
Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes u
cos u r a:
A.Prick B.Wanka
C.Rsole D.Twat
50/50?
phone a friend?
RING ME! I'LL
TELL U!
================================
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
================================
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth
================================
Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.
================================
Q. What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It's arse!
================================
Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!
================================
Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath
================================
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff
================================
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
================================
Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.
================================
Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?
A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener!
================================
Q. What does a @dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face
================================
Q. What do a @gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!
================================
Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!
================================
Q. Why don't guys @like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
================================
Q. Whats the @difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
A. 3 Stone !
================================
Q. What do you @call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass
================================
Q. Why dont blind @men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog
================================
Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon @behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.
Best wonderful collection of funny sms message 2017,Collection of amazing funny questions, stupid questions, dumb questions and answers, silly questions, best jokes types questions. Laugh after reading these funny questions with answers.
2 seconds later a report came 2 his cell;
Chaudry started dancing.the report said"delivered".
================================
A Punjabi was writing the@ passive voice of 'I MADE A MISTAKE'
Guess what did he write?? . ' I WAS MADE BY A MISTAKE !
================================
A Chaudry & his wife filed an application for divorce in Lahore High Court.
Judge asked : How will you divide, you have 3 children?
Chaudry replied : Ok! We will apply next year.
================================
Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
================================
Interviewer: Why did you leave your last job?
Interviewee: The company relocated and didn't tell me where...
================================
Question Of The Year
Students raat ko Q padhte he?
Q
Answar: Qki din me to dhoop padhti hai
================================
why did obama came to india ?
To receive the payment of nasa's rocket he sold to RAJNIKANTH for diwali..:)
================================
How Newton Died ?
.
.
He died After seen South Indian Movies..
.
Coz He Couldnt Bear Rajnikant Breakin All The Law Of Physics which He Made...
================================
QUES - Where can u see mangoes? On mango trees?
NO.At fruit shop? WRONG AGAIN....Fir kaha?
ANS - Jaha jaha women go,piche piche Man(goes).
================================
QUESTION:-
"Sharam kya hai"
ANS: sharam us cheez ka naam hai jo
agr tum logon ko aa jaye to mera inbox kabhi khali na rahe. ;-)
================================
Q: Why Girls Cry On Wedding Day At The Time Of Departure?
Ans: Wo Sochti Hai
Ke Itne Saal Intezaar Karne Ke baad DULHA Mila bhi Toh Sirf Ek
================================
Ques-Mohabbat ho Jati he Ya karni Padti he
Ans-Ladki Sundar ho or Honda Activa Pe ho to ho jati he
Baddsurat ho or Honda City Pe ho to karni padti hai.;-)
================================
Aisi kaun si cheez hai,
jo kharidane wala kabhi pehanta nahi aur pehane wala kabhi kharidta nahi,
.
.
.
.
HUGGIES..
================================
What is difference between bus conductor & driver?
Ans. Conductor so jaye to kisi ka ticket nahi katega or
driver so gaya to sab ka ticket kat jayega
================================
Why Madras is named Chennai?
.
.
.
.
.
B'Coz Madrasis wear Lungi in which there is no zip...
CHEN-NAI
Samjhe
================================
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
================================
Teacher to Electronics Students
NAADE ko Eng@lish mai kya kehte hai ?
Student:- P.H.D.
Teacher: Kya Matlab ?
Pejama Holding Device.
================================
Q: How many kids with @Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hey! Do you wanna go play PlayStation!?
================================
Q: How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 3 - one to argue for @the rights of the old lightbulb,
one to argue for the rights of the new lightbulb,
and one to argue for the rights of the light socket
================================
Q: How can you tell ET is a Port Vale fan?
A: Because he looks like one.
================================
Q: Why does Alan Pardew keep visiting Argos?
A: Because that's the only way he can pick up any Premier points!
================================
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It may take a while for me to get hard, I just got laid yesterday.
================================
Q.) Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for the dinner party??
A.) He was given the cold shoulder!
================================
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A: A pachydermatologist
================================
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
================================
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
================================
Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
A: Quatro sinko.
================================
Q: What do you call Santa's helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
================================
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.
================================
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A: A stick.
================================
Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
A: National Dyslexics Association.
================================
Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A: Polaroids.
================================
Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: Dam.
================================
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?
A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment.
================================
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
================================
Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
A: They all have phones.
================================
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
================================
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka. And what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.
================================
Q: Why did the nurse have a long pole and two rubber gloves?
A: Her way of not getting pregnant.
================================
Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A: If you aim it well enough.
================================
Q: What's the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
================================
Q: What is a double-blind study?
A: Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.
Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery:
Oops!
Has anyone seen my watch?
That was some party last night. I can't remember when I've been that drunk.
Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
Well this book doesn't say that... What edition is your ...
================================
Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to find a bulb specialist,
one to find a bulb installation specialist, and one to bill it all to Medicare.
================================
Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half the time!
================================
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?
A: An f****ing know it all.
================================
Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.
================================
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
================================
Who is D laziest
person in D world?
:
:
ans: Who invented D SNOOZE option in alarm...
================================
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher
than the Empire State Building?
?
??
???
Think litte.
Dont know.
.
..
...
A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can’t jump!
================================
Today is chocolate day,
Dairy milk 4 love,
Perk for friends,
Kit Kat for best friends,
Polo for hatred,
And mentos for cool persons,
what do you choose 4 me,
Reply is must...
================================
Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But
Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”
================================
Hurry up, Fill in the blanks with “HAAN” or “NAHIN”
1. ______ main insaan nahin hoon.
2. ______ main hi chor hoon.
3. ______ mera koi ilaz nahin hai.
4. ______ main hi idiot hoon
Let me see who is brave !!!
================================
Q. What Do You Call A Woman Who Knows Where Her Husband Is Every Night?
A. Widow
================================
Q: How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: That depends on whether it has health insurance.
A2: None. They just tell it to take two asprin and come round to the surgery later.
A3: None. They only sign the death certificate and phone the mortuary.
A4: None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.
A5: Only one, but he has to ...
================================
Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the face
================================
Q. Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
A. It had nobody to go with
================================
Q. What do you call a leper in a bath?
A. Soup!
================================
Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water?
A: Bob
================================
Q. What has two legs and bleeds easily?
A. Half a dog.
================================
Q: What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A: A fridge
================================
Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them too.
================================
Q: How do you get a one-handed idiot out of a tree?
A: Wave!
================================
Q: What's the difference between a Southern fairy tale and a Northern fairy tale?
A: A Southern fairy tale begins:
"Once upon a time..." and a Northern fairy
tale begins: "You'll never believe this bag of sh*te!"
================================
Q. What do Mexicans put under their carpets?
A. Underlay, underlay!
================================
Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001.
That is 1 to change it,
60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and
500,000 to buy the replica kit.
================================
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
================================
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
================================
Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any.
================================
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
================================
Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?
A: Because they don't have any. 1
================================
Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat?
A: Fast food
================================
Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven?
A:) Because they are afraid of what they have created!
================================
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer?
A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."
================================
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!
================================
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake?
A:) MilkShake
================================
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.
================================
Q: Where do Indian batsmen perform their best?
A: In advertisements.
================================
Q: What's the difference between a Kiss, a car & a monkey?
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear & the monkey is U dear!
================================
Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and touch her anywhere he likes?
A: Lifebuoy.
================================
Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals?
A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons when its hot,
bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!
================================
Q:There is always a sign board'DRIVE SLOWLY' near school,
bt never near girls college.
Why?
Ans:BECAUSE HERE VEHICLES AUTOMATICALLY GET SLOW!
================================
Q:Why most men prefer to kiss women's lips?
Ans:Thats the best & probably the only way to shut a woman's mouth.
================================
Q: If a Devil catches your wife,
what will you do?
A: You can do nothing...
if the devil has done the MISTAKE,
he has to face the CONSEQUENCES!!
================================
Q. What do men and beer bottles have in common?
A. They are both empty from the neck up.
================================
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
================================
Q: Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
A: Because they need a map.
================================
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night u reach out 4 da Vaseline gel & pick up Vicks Vaporub by mistake.
================================
Q. What do you call a fat woman waiting for something ?
Ans : MOTI-Vating !
================================
Q.Why did Santa Singh take off his clothes while writing exams?
A. Coz it was written in the paper "Answer in brief" !
================================
if, 1=5
2=25
3=125
4=625
5= ??
before scrollin think.
Answer is 1.
Remember the First Line..
1=5..?
Moral - Don't @Complicate Simple Problems in Life!
================================
did u know what is mean by MAN
M=marvelous
A=and
N=nice
and the word WOMAN mean is
W=wanted
O=other
MAN=man
================================
Answer this and prove that u r intelligent
Black is a co@lour
White is also a color
But Black&White T V is not a colour T V!!
WHY?
Answer It!
================================
Q. If it took e@ight men ten hours to build a wall,
how Long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.
================================
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor? Without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! (UPSC Topper)
================================
Wo Konsa DRIVER Ha Jis Ka LICENSE Nhi Hota?
Khud Soch K Niche Answer Dekhna!
Yar Khud Soch,
Socho
Yar
Socho
Ans:SCREW DRIVER,
================================
Question: Define a boss?
Ans: An idiot who@ thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month.
================================
Q. Why is A.P the land of underwears ?
A. 'cos there they keep saying - yemUNDEE, chappUNDEE, koorchUNDDEE etc.
================================
Q. What is the most noteworthy contribution of the Sindhis' to Hindustani Music ?
A. Raga Kirvani.
================================
Q. What is the heig@ht of optimism?
A. Sehwag coming out to bat applying sunscreen on his face.
================================
Q. What is the In@dian version of a hat-trick?
A. 3 runs in 3 balls.
================================
What Iz PurE & SiMpLe Definiti0n of Acc0unting?
.
.
.
1+1=2
(In Private Sector)
.
.
.
.
1+ 1= 11
(In Government Sect0r)
================================
Q. Why were the t@eacher''''s eyes crossed?
A. She couldn''''t control her pupils!
================================
Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!
================================
Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. He felt crummy!
================================
Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A. A stomach-cake!
================================
Q. What kind o@f key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A. A turkey!
================================
Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!
================================
Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty!
================================
Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A. Because his parents were in a jam!
================================
Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?
A. Tomato Paste!
================================
Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He could n't concentrate!
================================
Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
================================
Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
A. Mockaroni!
================================
Q. Why don''''''''t they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
================================
Why Do Students Sleep For Long Hours..??
Fantastic Answer Said By Students..
.
.
.
.
.
'Our Dreams R Always BIG'!
================================
If Child Labour Is A Crime
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then Why @Teacher Gives
Homework ??
================================
There are som@e fools in this world who always reply no for every question we ask....
Now you tell me are you such a person ??
================================
"Why is Facebook such a hit?
It works on the principle that-
'People are more interested in others life than their own-!
================================
Wht is the Diff b/w
Young Age & Old Age?
*
Simple..
In Young Age
Phone Is Fu@ll Of Darlings Numbers..
In Old Age
Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!-
================================
Peak of Optimism
Intrviwr:If Earth sta@rts rotating 30 times faster, then wat'll happen?
Candidte:V'll get Salary everyday!
Express Urself Smartly
================================
Trick of Weak
Do you Want To Make A Call Without Reduce Balance From Ur Phone?
ya ?
Then Make That Call From Any Other Phone!
================================
A Ques Asked In A T@alent Test:
If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer
- Why d Hell Should I recognise?
================================
Agar preshani ka ta@lluq dimag se he to heart attack Q hota he
Or Agar pyar ka talluq Dil se he to pyar me log Pagal Q ho jate hai
================================
Yarr Ek baat batao
.
.
.
1+1=
2+2=
4+4=
8+8=
.
.
.
In sab sawalo ka jawab plus k bajay - karne par 0 kyo aata hai?
================================
Difference betwee@n rain in INDIA and DUBAI:
In Dubai after rain,water disappears in 5 mins.
In india after rain,the road disappears in 5 mins...!
================================
When There Iz A L@ong Gap B/w Engagement And Marriage, "Who Is Most Benefited??"
"BOY..?
"NO...!
"GIRL..?
"NO...!
.
.
"Its The Mobile Company"
================================
Q: wadz most colourful thing except rainbow?
a: its a smiling negro wearin a red shirt n yellow pant with
ornage umbrella standin on a green grass under da blue sky
================================
teachers to students
students if there will be no electricity then how will u watch t.v
students said by burning the candle.
================================
What's d differenc@e between people
who pray in Temples and people who pray in d Exam Centres?
Those in d exam centres are damn serious.
================================
Why Is The Mind Of A Woman
Cleaner Than that Of A Man's?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because..
She Keeps Changing It All The Time.!!!
================================
Why does d bride & groom xchange garlands at d time of wedding.....
B'coz they say each affectionately that :
"DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...........
================================
What is the heig@ht of confusion?
Two earth worms Playing
HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
================================
Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?
A. With cabbage patches!
================================
Q. When do you s@top at green and go at red?
A. When you''''''''re eating a watermelon!
================================
Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
A. Jell-o!
================================
Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fly!
================================
Q. Why did Goofy @put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
================================
Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
================================
Q. Why did the boy @tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn''''''''t want to wake the sleeping pills!
================================
Q: What is the full form@ of MATHS?
A: Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing students.
================================
Q. What do your boss @and a slinky have in common?
A. They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
================================
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A. The car salesman can probably drive!
================================
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A. The car salesman can probably drive!
================================
Q. Did you hear that Fed Ex and UPS are going to merge?
A. Yeah. They're going to call it FED UP!
================================
Q. Who is the poorest guy in West Virginia?
A. The Tooth Fairy
================================
Q. What can a lifesaver do for a woman a man can't?
A. Cum in five different flavours.
================================
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
A. Still no eye deer.
================================
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-Eye Deer. (sound like No Idea)
================================
Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
================================
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A. A computer only needs the information punched into it once.
================================
Q. What do you call 100 men at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
================================
Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?
A. Don't ask her out again.
================================
Q. How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
================================
Q. Why did the tree fall down?
A. The koala forgot to let go.
================================
Q. What should Kabul get for its air defense system?
A. A refund.
================================
Q. What's a Lepers favorite sport?
A. Football.
================================
Q. Why did the ref call a penalty during the Leper Hockey game?
A. Because there was a face off in the corner.
================================
Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
A. Because it was dead.
================================
Q. What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
A. Swim!
================================
Q. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
A. Wipe him off, apologize and RUN!
================================
Q. Why did the leper crash his car?
A. He left his foot on the accelerator.
================================
Q. Did you hear about the blind man who went bungee jumping?
A. He loved it, but it scared the hell out of his dog.
================================
Q. How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
A. Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.
================================
Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche?
A. The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
================================
Q. What do you call a man with no arms or legs that can swim across a pool?
A. Clever Dick
================================
Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a room?
A. About two - if they're thinly sliced.
================================
Q. What's a hindu?
A. Lays eggs.'
================================
Q. What do you call Maoris on Prozac?
A. Once were worriers.
================================
Q. What does a skeleton get when he goes to a bar?
A. A beer and a mop.
================================
Q. Did you hear about the new "divorced" Barbie doll that they're selling in stores now?
A. It comes with all of Ken's stuff.
================================
Q. What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A. The taste!
================================
Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A. Ground beef.
================================
Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.
================================
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
================================
Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.
================================
Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.
================================
Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.
================================
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.
================================
Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.
================================
Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
================================
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.
================================
Who Wants 2 B A
$MILLIONAIRE$
Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes u
cos u r a:
A.Prick B.Wanka
C.Rsole D.Twat
50/50?
phone a friend?
RING ME! I'LL
TELL U!
================================
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
================================
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth
================================
Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.
================================
Q. What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It's arse!
================================
Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!
================================
Q. What's blue and fluffy
A. Pink fluff holding it's breath
================================
Q. What's pink and fluffy
A. Pink fluff
================================
Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?
A. Where you left it.
================================
Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.
================================
Q: Why do woman get their belly buttons pierced?
A: So they have a place to hang a air freshener!
================================
Q. What does a @dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face
================================
Q. What do a @gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!
================================
Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!
================================
Q. Why don't guys @like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
================================
Q. Whats the @difference between a wife and a girlfriend ?
A. 3 Stone !
================================
Q. What do you @call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass
================================
Q. Why dont blind @men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog
================================
Q. How can you tell when a women is having a bad day?
A. She has her tampon @behind her ear,and she can`t find her cigarette.
Best wonderful collection of funny sms message 2017,Collection of amazing funny questions, stupid questions, dumb questions and answers, silly questions, best jokes types questions. Laugh after reading these funny questions with answers.
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