- Love is blind but your neighbours are not so avoid kissing behind the garden.
- (----) I learned the secret to my life ~when I started to replace my worries with others.
- (----) I like my boss only when he gives me a week vacation.
- (----) I never use both my feet to test ~how deep the water is. I call that being wise.
- (----) Whenever I speak my mind I never mind what I speak.
- (----) I’m selling inspiration; I found it yesterday in plenty
- (----) I’m never online, it’s an opti~cal illusion.
- (----) I don’t know why whenever m~y door bell rings my dog always presumes it’s for me.
- (----) Until he was fourteen, my brother thought his name was Keep Quiet.
- (----) I was out yesterday and I prefer ~not to remember it.
- (----) Your opinion may have cha~nged but the fact remains you are wrong.
- (----) They say success is around the corner but I guess I’m walking in circle.
- (----) I’m the hottest of you all becaus~e you know; I’m the core cause of global warming.
- (----) The only place you will find success without hard work is in the dictionary.
- (----) I think my neighbours now know ~that am stealing their Wi-Fi internet.
- (----) Did you know that a tax is a~ fine for doing well while a fine is a tax for doing wrong?
- (----) I think God loves stupid people si~nce He created so many of them.
- (----) The worst standing is misunderstanding one another. Understand me?
- (----) So far so good. If can read this k~ow that you are a witness of my dream to live forever.
- (----) They say money talks but all I hear fr~om the little I have is, “Good bye”.
- (----) I didn’t fail, my success just postponed.
- (----) It might be illegal tomorrow so today is the time.
- (----) Piss me off and I give you a high-five on the face.
- (----) Please don’t be corrupt becau~se the government hates competition.
- (----) Always keep in mind that only one who can really appreciate you is you.
- (----) She was beautiful until her Photoshop 30 day trial expired.
- (----) My flow is sick but it does~n’t need a doctor.
- (----) Don’t call me fat, it’s just that when am far am easier to notice.
- (----) Never make the same mistake twice, 2 is a small number.
- (----) They say drinking alcohol will kill slowly but who is in a hurry anyway.
- (----) I never realized how many~ clothes I had until now that I’m washing them.
- (----) Who is a waiter when you are waiting for a waiter in a restaurant?
- (----) You don’t have to like me because I’m not a Facebook page after all.
- (----) Here is your nose; you ~left it when you were in my business again.
- (----) I think twice before I talk to be able to say something more insulting.
- (----) You are my f~avorite reason to lose my sleep.
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