Funny Whatsapp Status Funny New2017

1.  Love is blind but your neighbours are not so avoid kissing behind the garden.
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3. (----) I learned the secret to my life ~when I started to replace my worries with others.
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5. (----)  I like my boss only when he gives me a week vacation.
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7. (----)  I never use both my feet to test ~how deep the water is. I call that being wise.
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9. (----) Whenever I speak my mind I never mind what I speak.
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11. (----) I’m selling inspiration; I found it yesterday in plenty
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13. (----)  I’m never online, it’s an opti~cal illusion.
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15. (----) I don’t know why whenever m~y door bell rings my dog always presumes it’s for me.
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17. (----)  Until he was fourteen, my brother thought his name was Keep Quiet.
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19. (----)  I was out yesterday and I prefer ~not to remember it.
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21. (----) Your opinion may have cha~nged but the fact remains you are wrong.
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23. (----) They say success is around the corner but I guess I’m walking in circle.
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25. (----)  I’m the hottest of you all becaus~e you know; I’m the core cause of global warming.
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27. (----) The only place you will find success without hard work is in the dictionary.
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29. (----) I think my neighbours now know ~that am stealing their Wi-Fi internet.
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31. (----)  Did you know that a tax is a~ fine for doing well while a fine is a tax for doing wrong?
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34.    (----) I think God loves stupid people si~nce He created so many of them.
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36. (----) The worst standing is misunderstanding one another. Understand me?
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38. (----)  So far so good. If can read this k~ow that you are a witness of my dream to live forever.
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40. (----)  They say money talks but all I hear fr~om the little I have is, “Good bye”.
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42. (----)  I didn’t fail, my success just postponed.
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44. (----) It might be illegal tomorrow so today is the time.
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46. (----) Piss me off and I give you a high-five on the face.
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48. (----)  Please don’t be corrupt becau~se the government hates competition.
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50. (----)  Always keep in mind that only one who can really appreciate you is you.
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52. (----)  She was beautiful until her Photoshop 30 day trial expired.
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54. (----) My flow is sick but it does~n’t need a doctor.
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56. (----)  Don’t call me fat, it’s just that when am far am easier to notice.
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58. (----)  Never make the same mistake twice, 2 is a small number.
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60. (----)  They say drinking alcohol will kill slowly but who is in a hurry anyway.
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62. (----)  I never realized how many~ clothes I had until now that I’m washing them.
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64. (----) Who is a waiter when you are waiting for a waiter in a restaurant?
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66. (----) You don’t have to like me because I’m not a Facebook page after all.
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68. (----) Here is your nose; you ~left it when you were in my business again.
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70. (----) I think twice before I talk to be able to say something more insulting.
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72. (----) You are my f~avorite reason to lose my sleep.