Ek Bewafa
Ki Yad Me Humne Hathon Me JAM Utha Liya
.
.
Phir Laga@ya Bread Pe
Aur fatafat
Kha liya.
Moral: Sare AASHIQ Sharabi NaHI HOTE.
KUCH BHUKE BHI HOTE HAI.
Airport Ke Bahar Khada Sharabi
Ek sharabi airport ke bahar khada tha!!
Ek admi uniform pehne udhar se gujra!
.
Sharabi: Abe sunn..ek Taxi leke aa..
.
Admi: Andha hai kya..
main Pilot hun Driver nahi!!
.
Sharabi: Toh naraj kyu hota hai,
ek Jumbo jet hi lee aaoo!!
Sponsored Links
Barbad Hua Sharabi
Daru ki vajahse brbad sharabi ne kasam li or
ghar se Daru ki K@HALI bottles fekne laga...
1st fek k bola-teri vajahse meri Nokri gayi...!
2nd fekte-bola teri vjh se mera Ghar bika...!!
3rd fekte bola-teri vjh se meri BV chali gayi...!!!
.
4th uthai to vo BHARI hui nikli to bola-
tu side me ho ja @tu bekasoor hy.....
Sharabi Donating Eyes
Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya,
Counter Clerk ne poocha: Kuch kehna hai?
Sharabi: Jise @lagao usse bata dena
ye do peg ke baad hi khulti hain.
Police vs Sharabi
Sharabi Road pe pada tha.
Police: Itni Q pi rakhi H,
Shrabi: Majburi thi sir,
Polis: Kya majburi thi,
Shrab: Sab.. Bottle ka
dhakkan gum ho gaya tha. !!
Daaru Laya Hu Ankhen Kholo
Utho Lal Ab Ankhen Kholo,
Daaru Laya Hu Ab Muh Dho Lo,
Beeti Raat Bahot Tum Dole,
Padosiyo Ne Phir Jute Khole,
Raat Beet G@yi Nali Me,
Kal Phir Milenge Gutter Ke Pani Me..
Sponsored Links
Tare Jameen Par In Sharabi Version
Jab bhi kabhi papa mujhe,
2 peg wiskey dete the
main jhoo@l jata tha maa,
Daru main itna pita nahi,
Par main sehem jata hu maa,
Chehre pe aate deta nahi,
Lekin main ludak jata hoon maa,
Tujhe sab hain pata hai naa maa...
Botal Chupa Dena Kafan Mein Meri
Botal Chupa Dena Kafan Mein Meri,
Shamshan Mein Piya Krunga,
Jab Mange Ge Hisaab Khuda,
To Unhe Bhi Ek Peg Bna Kr Diya Krunga...
Paani Mein Whiskey Milao....
Paani Mein Whiskey Milao Toh Nasha Chadta Hai,
Paani Mein Rum Milao To Nasha Chadta Hai,
Paani Mein Brandy Milao To Nasha Chadta Hai,
Saala Paani Mein Hi Kuch Gadbad Hai.
Kabhi Hum Bhi Piya Krte The
Peene Pilane Ki Kya Baat Krte Ho,
Kabhi Hum Bhi P@ein Liye Baithe Ho,
Utni Hum Paimane Me Chod Diya Krte The.
Jse Koyal Samjha, Vo Kauva Niklaa,
.
Dosti Ke Nam Pr Hauva Niklaa,
.
Jo Rokaa Karte The Humen Shrab Pine Se,
.@
Aj Unki Jeb Se Pauva Niklaa.....
Sharab K Prati Shraddha
Ek sharabi daru pee pee k mar gaya
Lekin uski daru k prati shraddha to dekho,
.
wo mar kr bhi ye keh gya:
“SHARAB TO THEEK THI,
Saali kidney he KAMZOR nikli..
Sponsored Links
Sharabi ki Haath Main Sarkar
Sharabi:Agar Mere Haath Main Sarkar Aa Jaaye
To Main Poore Desh Ko Badal Doonga.
Wife: Pehle Paijaama To Badal do,
Subah Se Meri Salwaar Pehne Hue Ho.
Teesri Manzil Se Gira Sharabi
Ek sharabi Teesri manzil se gira
aur uske aas-paas log ekaththa ho gaye.
Or logo ne sharabi se pucha kya hua?
Sharabi : Pata nahi main bhi abhi aaya hoon!
Sharabi Ki Taal Kholne Ki Koshish
Ek sharabi ladkhadate
kadmo se ap@ne ghar pahuncha
aur pocket se chhabi
nikalkar lock kholne laga
Nasha jyada hone pr
woh chaabi ko taale me daal
nahi paa raha tha!!
Chaabi kabh@i idhar ho jati to kabhi udhar!!
Use pareshan dekhakr
ek sajjan ne uski maddad karni chahi!!
Pass jakr sajjan bola;
laoo taala me khol deta hun!!
Sharabi ne kaha nahi taal me khol lunga,
tum keval darwaje ko pakadkar khade raho.!
Dus Saal Se Pee Raha Sharabi
Wife: Woh Samne Sharabi Dekh Rahe Ho
Main ne Use 10 Saal Pehle
Shadi K Lie Inqar Kia Tha Aur
Woh Aaj Tak Pi Raha Hai
Husband: Wah! Itna Lamba Celebration…..!
Sponsored Links
Sharab - Samaj Ki Samasya
Sharab samaj ki samasya hai,
AAo ise mitaye,
2-3 bottle tum lelo,
2-3 bottle hum gutkaye
Har Bottle Me Bhagwan
Sharabi ki najar se dekho to
.
Jinn me base hai janaki,
Rum me base hai Ram
.
Wine me Vishnu ka Vas,
Desi me Hanuman
.
Kis Bottle ka Tyag Karu
har Bottle me Bhagwan
Payasa Hu Main Barso Se
Meri Kabar Pe Mat Gulaab Leke Aana
Na Hi H@aathon Mein Chiraag Leke Aana
Payasa Hu Main Barso Se Jaanam
Botal Sharab Ki Aur Ek Glass Leke Aana..
Two Drunkers deciding what to Drink
Do sharabi dost bar me gaye...
Pehala@: Accha bata aaj kya piyega
Dusra: jo tu bole mere yaar....
Pehala: chal toss kr lete hai...
Sikkha uchala aur bola...
Dekh bhai Heads aaya to Scotch,
Tail aaya to Whiskey,
Niche gira to Rum aur
Upar hawa me rah gaya to
aaj se Daru hamesha keliye bandh..
.
Cheeers.......
Major - Itna jyada Q pite ho?
tumhe khabar hai ki agar tumhara
record aachha hota to ab tak tum
Subedar ho gaye hote!"
.
Jawan - Maaf kijiye sir, magar
baat yeh hai ki jb do ghoont
mere aandar pahunch jate hai
to main apne apko
Colonel samajhne lagta hun..
Knowledge of Wine
A guy tries to impress his date
with his knowledge of wine.
He tells the win@e steward to bring
a bottle of 1985 Sterling Cabernet
Sauvignon from the Carneros district.
After tasting it, the young man
berates the ste@ward.
"This is a 1992 vintage from the
Diamond Creek vineyard
in the Mayacamas range.
Please bring me what I ordered."
.
Watching from the bar,
an old drunk comes up to the table
with a glass in his hand and says,
"Can you tell me what this is?"
.
Winking at his date,
the young man sips from the drunkerd glass.
.
"Christ, this tastes like piss!"
he exclaims, spitting it out.
.
"Yeah," says the drunkerd
.
"but what year?"
Sponsored Links
Be Drunk Always
The Best thing about being drunk is that,
it's the only time when I do
what comes f@irst in my mind!
that's the God's voice !
so be drunk always ! God is with you
3 Piyakkar Aur Ek Taxi Wala
3 Piyakkar ne Daru pee ke Ek Taxi Roki....
Taxi Driver ne Gaddi Start ki
and Fir Band kar di...
Bola yeh Lo Saab hum pahunch gaye
1st Piyakkar ne Use Paise De diye
2nd Piyakkar Bola...Thank You
3rd Piakkar ne ek Thappad Diya n Bola
"Sale Aaram se chalaya kar...
marwa deta aaj to"
Bina Wajah Sharab Nahin Piyenge
Wife: Aap ne kaha tha aap bina
wajah sharab nahin piyenge.
Hus'bd: Wajah hai. Diwali aa rahi hai.
Rocket chalaane ke liye
khaali bottle bhi to chaahiye.
Two drunken men dealing the World
Two drunken men are talking.
Man 1: I am planning to buy the world.
Man 2: You can't.
Man 1: Why..
Man 2: I am not going to sell it.
Sponsored Links
Biwi ki Notice
एक शराबी ने अपने दोस्त को
बड़े उदास स्वर में बताया –
.
“मेरी बीबी ने @मुझे नोटिस दिया है कि
अगर मैंने शराब पीनी नहीं छोड़ी
तो वह मुझे छोड़कर चली जायेगी.”
“ये तो सचमुच बहुत अफ़सोस की बात है.”
– दोस्त ने हमद@र्दी जताते हुए कहा.
.
“हाँ, भली औरत है ….
बहुत याद आया करेगी उसकी … !”
Sabse Bada Kaun??
Ek sharabi full set ho k ghar ja raha tha.
Raaste me mandir k bahar pujari dikha,
sharabi ne pujari se pucha,
.
"Sabse bada kaun?"
.
Us se peechha Chhudane k liye
pujari ne kaha ye mandir bada.
.
Sharabi : Mandir bada to dharti pe kaise khada?
.
Pujari : Achchha to dharti badi.
.
Sharabi : Dharti badi to sheshnaag pe kyo khadi?
.
Pujari : To sheshnaag bada.
.
Sharabi : Sheshnaag bada to
shiv ji k gale me kyo pada?
.
Pujari : To shiv ji bade.
.
Sharabi : Shivji bade to
parvat pe ky@o khade?
.
Pujari : Tab to parvat bada.
.
Sharabi : Parvat bada to
hanuman ki ungli pe kyu pada?
.
Pujari : Aarre mere baap hanuman bada.
.
Sharabi : Hanuman bada to
Ram k charno me kyo pada?
.
Pujari sar peet k bola : Ram bada.
.
Sharabi : Ram @bade to sita k piche kyo pade?
.
Pujari : Arre mere baap to tu hi bata kaun bada?
.
Sharabi : Is duniya me vo bada
.
jo pura "khamba" pike aapni tango par khada.
Ki Yad Me Humne Hathon Me JAM Utha Liya
.
.
Phir Laga@ya Bread Pe
Aur fatafat
Kha liya.
Moral: Sare AASHIQ Sharabi NaHI HOTE.
KUCH BHUKE BHI HOTE HAI.
Airport Ke Bahar Khada Sharabi
Ek sharabi airport ke bahar khada tha!!
Ek admi uniform pehne udhar se gujra!
.
Sharabi: Abe sunn..ek Taxi leke aa..
.
Admi: Andha hai kya..
main Pilot hun Driver nahi!!
.
Sharabi: Toh naraj kyu hota hai,
ek Jumbo jet hi lee aaoo!!
Sponsored Links
Barbad Hua Sharabi
Daru ki vajahse brbad sharabi ne kasam li or
ghar se Daru ki K@HALI bottles fekne laga...
1st fek k bola-teri vajahse meri Nokri gayi...!
2nd fekte-bola teri vjh se mera Ghar bika...!!
3rd fekte bola-teri vjh se meri BV chali gayi...!!!
.
4th uthai to vo BHARI hui nikli to bola-
tu side me ho ja @tu bekasoor hy.....
Sharabi Donating Eyes
Sharabi eyes donate karne gaya,
Counter Clerk ne poocha: Kuch kehna hai?
Sharabi: Jise @lagao usse bata dena
ye do peg ke baad hi khulti hain.
Police vs Sharabi
Sharabi Road pe pada tha.
Police: Itni Q pi rakhi H,
Shrabi: Majburi thi sir,
Polis: Kya majburi thi,
Shrab: Sab.. Bottle ka
dhakkan gum ho gaya tha. !!
Daaru Laya Hu Ankhen Kholo
Utho Lal Ab Ankhen Kholo,
Daaru Laya Hu Ab Muh Dho Lo,
Beeti Raat Bahot Tum Dole,
Padosiyo Ne Phir Jute Khole,
Raat Beet G@yi Nali Me,
Kal Phir Milenge Gutter Ke Pani Me..
Sponsored Links
Tare Jameen Par In Sharabi Version
Jab bhi kabhi papa mujhe,
2 peg wiskey dete the
main jhoo@l jata tha maa,
Daru main itna pita nahi,
Par main sehem jata hu maa,
Chehre pe aate deta nahi,
Lekin main ludak jata hoon maa,
Tujhe sab hain pata hai naa maa...
Botal Chupa Dena Kafan Mein Meri
Botal Chupa Dena Kafan Mein Meri,
Shamshan Mein Piya Krunga,
Jab Mange Ge Hisaab Khuda,
To Unhe Bhi Ek Peg Bna Kr Diya Krunga...
Paani Mein Whiskey Milao....
Paani Mein Whiskey Milao Toh Nasha Chadta Hai,
Paani Mein Rum Milao To Nasha Chadta Hai,
Paani Mein Brandy Milao To Nasha Chadta Hai,
Saala Paani Mein Hi Kuch Gadbad Hai.
Kabhi Hum Bhi Piya Krte The
Peene Pilane Ki Kya Baat Krte Ho,
Kabhi Hum Bhi P@ein Liye Baithe Ho,
Utni Hum Paimane Me Chod Diya Krte The.
Jse Koyal Samjha, Vo Kauva Niklaa,
.
Dosti Ke Nam Pr Hauva Niklaa,
.
Jo Rokaa Karte The Humen Shrab Pine Se,
.@
Aj Unki Jeb Se Pauva Niklaa.....
Sharab K Prati Shraddha
Ek sharabi daru pee pee k mar gaya
Lekin uski daru k prati shraddha to dekho,
.
wo mar kr bhi ye keh gya:
“SHARAB TO THEEK THI,
Saali kidney he KAMZOR nikli..
Sponsored Links
Sharabi ki Haath Main Sarkar
Sharabi:Agar Mere Haath Main Sarkar Aa Jaaye
To Main Poore Desh Ko Badal Doonga.
Wife: Pehle Paijaama To Badal do,
Subah Se Meri Salwaar Pehne Hue Ho.
Teesri Manzil Se Gira Sharabi
Ek sharabi Teesri manzil se gira
aur uske aas-paas log ekaththa ho gaye.
Or logo ne sharabi se pucha kya hua?
Sharabi : Pata nahi main bhi abhi aaya hoon!
Sharabi Ki Taal Kholne Ki Koshish
Ek sharabi ladkhadate
kadmo se ap@ne ghar pahuncha
aur pocket se chhabi
nikalkar lock kholne laga
Nasha jyada hone pr
woh chaabi ko taale me daal
nahi paa raha tha!!
Chaabi kabh@i idhar ho jati to kabhi udhar!!
Use pareshan dekhakr
ek sajjan ne uski maddad karni chahi!!
Pass jakr sajjan bola;
laoo taala me khol deta hun!!
Sharabi ne kaha nahi taal me khol lunga,
tum keval darwaje ko pakadkar khade raho.!
Dus Saal Se Pee Raha Sharabi
Wife: Woh Samne Sharabi Dekh Rahe Ho
Main ne Use 10 Saal Pehle
Shadi K Lie Inqar Kia Tha Aur
Woh Aaj Tak Pi Raha Hai
Husband: Wah! Itna Lamba Celebration…..!
Sponsored Links
Sharab - Samaj Ki Samasya
Sharab samaj ki samasya hai,
AAo ise mitaye,
2-3 bottle tum lelo,
2-3 bottle hum gutkaye
Har Bottle Me Bhagwan
Sharabi ki najar se dekho to
.
Jinn me base hai janaki,
Rum me base hai Ram
.
Wine me Vishnu ka Vas,
Desi me Hanuman
.
Kis Bottle ka Tyag Karu
har Bottle me Bhagwan
Payasa Hu Main Barso Se
Meri Kabar Pe Mat Gulaab Leke Aana
Na Hi H@aathon Mein Chiraag Leke Aana
Payasa Hu Main Barso Se Jaanam
Botal Sharab Ki Aur Ek Glass Leke Aana..
Two Drunkers deciding what to Drink
Do sharabi dost bar me gaye...
Pehala@: Accha bata aaj kya piyega
Dusra: jo tu bole mere yaar....
Pehala: chal toss kr lete hai...
Sikkha uchala aur bola...
Dekh bhai Heads aaya to Scotch,
Tail aaya to Whiskey,
Niche gira to Rum aur
Upar hawa me rah gaya to
aaj se Daru hamesha keliye bandh..
.
Cheeers.......
Major - Itna jyada Q pite ho?
tumhe khabar hai ki agar tumhara
record aachha hota to ab tak tum
Subedar ho gaye hote!"
.
Jawan - Maaf kijiye sir, magar
baat yeh hai ki jb do ghoont
mere aandar pahunch jate hai
to main apne apko
Colonel samajhne lagta hun..
Knowledge of Wine
A guy tries to impress his date
with his knowledge of wine.
He tells the win@e steward to bring
a bottle of 1985 Sterling Cabernet
Sauvignon from the Carneros district.
After tasting it, the young man
berates the ste@ward.
"This is a 1992 vintage from the
Diamond Creek vineyard
in the Mayacamas range.
Please bring me what I ordered."
.
Watching from the bar,
an old drunk comes up to the table
with a glass in his hand and says,
"Can you tell me what this is?"
.
Winking at his date,
the young man sips from the drunkerd glass.
.
"Christ, this tastes like piss!"
he exclaims, spitting it out.
.
"Yeah," says the drunkerd
.
"but what year?"
Sponsored Links
Be Drunk Always
The Best thing about being drunk is that,
it's the only time when I do
what comes f@irst in my mind!
that's the God's voice !
so be drunk always ! God is with you
3 Piyakkar Aur Ek Taxi Wala
3 Piyakkar ne Daru pee ke Ek Taxi Roki....
Taxi Driver ne Gaddi Start ki
and Fir Band kar di...
Bola yeh Lo Saab hum pahunch gaye
1st Piyakkar ne Use Paise De diye
2nd Piyakkar Bola...Thank You
3rd Piakkar ne ek Thappad Diya n Bola
"Sale Aaram se chalaya kar...
marwa deta aaj to"
Bina Wajah Sharab Nahin Piyenge
Wife: Aap ne kaha tha aap bina
wajah sharab nahin piyenge.
Hus'bd: Wajah hai. Diwali aa rahi hai.
Rocket chalaane ke liye
khaali bottle bhi to chaahiye.
Two drunken men dealing the World
Two drunken men are talking.
Man 1: I am planning to buy the world.
Man 2: You can't.
Man 1: Why..
Man 2: I am not going to sell it.
Sponsored Links
Biwi ki Notice
एक शराबी ने अपने दोस्त को
बड़े उदास स्वर में बताया –
.
“मेरी बीबी ने @मुझे नोटिस दिया है कि
अगर मैंने शराब पीनी नहीं छोड़ी
तो वह मुझे छोड़कर चली जायेगी.”
“ये तो सचमुच बहुत अफ़सोस की बात है.”
– दोस्त ने हमद@र्दी जताते हुए कहा.
.
“हाँ, भली औरत है ….
बहुत याद आया करेगी उसकी … !”
Sabse Bada Kaun??
Ek sharabi full set ho k ghar ja raha tha.
Raaste me mandir k bahar pujari dikha,
sharabi ne pujari se pucha,
.
"Sabse bada kaun?"
.
Us se peechha Chhudane k liye
pujari ne kaha ye mandir bada.
.
Sharabi : Mandir bada to dharti pe kaise khada?
.
Pujari : Achchha to dharti badi.
.
Sharabi : Dharti badi to sheshnaag pe kyo khadi?
.
Pujari : To sheshnaag bada.
.
Sharabi : Sheshnaag bada to
shiv ji k gale me kyo pada?
.
Pujari : To shiv ji bade.
.
Sharabi : Shivji bade to
parvat pe ky@o khade?
.
Pujari : Tab to parvat bada.
.
Sharabi : Parvat bada to
hanuman ki ungli pe kyu pada?
.
Pujari : Aarre mere baap hanuman bada.
.
Sharabi : Hanuman bada to
Ram k charno me kyo pada?
.
Pujari sar peet k bola : Ram bada.
.
Sharabi : Ram @bade to sita k piche kyo pade?
.
Pujari : Arre mere baap to tu hi bata kaun bada?
.
Sharabi : Is duniya me vo bada
.
jo pura "khamba" pike aapni tango par khada.
टिप्पणियाँ
एक टिप्पणी भेजें