TEACHER: Wo konsa
Department h@ai jis me
Aurat kaam nhi kar
sakti..???
:
:
Pappu: FIRE BRIGADE..
Teacher: Kyon
:
PAPPU: kynki Aurton ka kaam
Aag lagana h@ai... bujhana nahi.
.
Pappu rockz.. Teacher shockz..
Hindi Translation
Teachar: Beta Batao Ki
“Fast”
“Faster”,
“Fastest”
Forms Ko Hindi Me Kaise
Kahenge....??
.
.
.
Student:
“Bhaag”
.
.
“Tezz Bhaag” .
.
.
“Bhaag Teri M@aa Ki... :P
Teachar Shocked...student rockzz
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Extra Ordinary Student
Extraordinarily ENGINEERINGStudent :-
.
Teacher :- "Do you know Avogadro's Number ?
"
.
.
Student :- "Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"?
.
.
.
Teacher :- "Ladka"
.
.
.
.
Student :- "Sorry Dude ! Mai Ladko Ke Number
Nahi Rakhta" ;) :P
Essay on "My Class Teacher"
Teacher nay Student ko
" My Class Teacher "
per essay likhnay ko kaha
thori dair baad ek student ki awaz aai
Miss
CHIKNI or @POPAT ko english mai kya kahtay hai?...:p
Math vich fail Q hoya?
Sadi techer kendi ay
Santa: Math vich fail Q hoya?
Son:
Sadi techer kendi ay 3+5=8
Agle@ din kendi ay 4+4=8,
fair kendi ay 6+2=8
Sali nu ap confirm nai
tay fail manu kr dita….?
Excuses by Teachers
Top ans of teachers if they don’t have ans of any ques!
.
¤ don’t ask irrelevant question
.
¤ I can answer u but it is above ur level so better leave it
.
¤ I told dat in last lecture where were u at dat time
.
¤ oo.. I waz waiting 4 dis question… gud u asked….
look 4 it in da book first otherwise I’ll tell u tomorrow
.
¤Dis z ur asignmnt,search 4it.
.
¤u’l study ds in next clas,dnt indulge urslf in cnfusion!
.
¤nice ques! Raise d hand who knows d ans?:-D
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Brilliant Answers by students
Brilliant Answers by student but the teacher gave him ’0' marks only
Q- In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
A- His last battle
Q- Where was th@e declaration of independence signed?
A- At the bottom of the page
Q- What’s the main reason for Divorce?
A- Marriage
Q- River Indus flows in which state?
A- Liquid state
Q- When was Quai@d-e-Azam born?
A- On his birthday
Q- How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
A- By making mango shake..
Good Luck
Height of good luck
,
,
Teacher: hey you, stand up And tell Me 2 pronouns
.
Student: who, Me?
.
Teacher: very good sit-down……..:-)
:-):-)
Nursery Class Ka Naughty baccha
Aik Nursery CLASS Ka Bacha:
Ma’am Main Aap Ko Kaisa Lagta Hun?
Madam:
Oh, Very SWEET..
BACHA Apnay Dost Se:
Dekha, Maine Kaha Tha Na Line Marti Hai.
Student after watching “Dabangg”
Bcha Dabang dekh kar aya
School mein sir : baita tumhare sare
ans gala@t hein marks de to kahan?
Bcha : KAMAL KARTE HaiN MASTER JI.
MARKS HI TO MANG RAHE HAIN,
CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA
THAPAR M@AR K BHI LAY SKTE HAIN.
Sir: Badtamiz
bcha: BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA,
AAP K PAPA KAISE HAIN?
Sir: Nikal ja meri class se,
bcha: CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO
WARNA ANS SHEET ME ITNE CHED KARENGE
K CONFUSE HO JAOGE
K MARKS KaHAn DEN OR ZERO KAHAN DAIN!
Height Of Adab:
Hum Sirf Ye Soch Ker Paper Khali De Atay Hy,
K Kahin Teacher Ye Na Kahen:
.
.
K Agey Se Jawab Detay Hai…
Respect Ur Teacher
Students Of M.B.B.S
1st Year Students Of MBBS
Were Attending Their 1st Anatomy Class.
They All G@athered Around The Surgery Table
Wid A Real Dead Dog.
The Professor, Put His Finger In Dog’s Mouth
& Tasted It In His Own Mouth.
Then He Said Them To Do The Same.
The Students Hesitated 4 Several Minutes.
But Eventua@lly Everyone Inserted Their Fingerz
In Dog’s Mouth & Tasted It.
When Everyone Finished,
The Prof. Looked At Them & Said:
The Most Important Quality Is ‘Observation’.
I Inserted My Middle Finger But Tasted The Index Finger.
Now Learn To ‘Pay Attention’.
(Sms on mbbs student)
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Teacher to sleepy Students
Teacher 2 Sleepy Student:
Who Invented Steam Engine?
Student:
What Sir?
Teacher:
Yes @Correct
It’s James Watt
Moral:
Sleeping Improves Ur
General Knowledge… ;->
Sentence Starting With “I”
Teach@er To Student:
Give Me A Sentence Starting With “I”
Student:
I Is. . . .
Teacher:
No, Always Say, “I Am”
Student:
All Right,
“I Am The Ninth Letter Of The Alphabets.
Moral:
Hmesha Efficiency Nahi Jharni Chahye,
Kabi Kabi Students Ki B Sun Leni Chahye;)
Tenses Ki Misal
Techr: Bcho Past Present Or Future
Tenses Ki Koi Misal Dain.
Jesy K,
Main Khubsurt Thi,
Khubsurt Hu.
Khubsu@rt Rhon Gi.
Bacha:
Apko Wehm Tha.
Wehm H Or Wehm Rhy Ga.
Dabangg wala Pappu
Teacher:
Papu I Wil Giv U A Tight Slap
If U Con@tinue Ur
Non Serious Behavior In The Class!
.
Papu:
.
.
.
.
.
Thappar Se Dar Nai Lgta Madam ,
Pyar Se@ Lgta Hy ;->
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Attitude of a student in a class
Teacher:
Why R U Talking During My Lesson?
Student:
Why R U Teaching During My Conversation..!!
Panga Iz N0t Changa Wid Da Students;->
Behind Every Successful Man
Teacher:
Behind Every Successful Man There Is A Woman
What Do We Learn From This?
Student:@
We Should Stop Wasting Time In Studies
And Find A Woman
How to write 55??
A Teacher Asked A Student To Write 55.
Student Asked:
How?
Teacher:
Write 5 And Beside It Another 5!
The Student Wrote 5 And Stopped.
Teacher:@
What Are You Waiting For?
Student:
I Don’t Know Which Side To Write The Other 5!
Pathan shocks the Teacher
Pathan Asked Teacher:
If Black Is A Color & White Is Also A Color
Den Y Black & White T.V Is Not A Color T.V?
Teach@er Shocked
Pathan Rocked…
Teacher:
Main Tumhari Jan Nikal Dungi,
Iski English@ Batao…
Student:
English Ki Maa Ki Aankh
Tu Pehle Hath To Laga K Dikha
Student techer Hindi sms
Teacher;
Homework Kiun Nhi Kiya?
Stdnt;@
Sir,Light Nhi Thi
Teachr;
To Mom Batti Jala Lete
Student;
Sir,Maachis Nhi Thi
Teachr;
Machis Kiun Nai Thi
Student;
Masjid Me Rkhi Thi.
Teachr;
To Wahan Se Le Aate
Student;
Nahaya Hua Nhi Tha
Teachr;
Nahaye Kiun Nhi Thy
Student;
Pani Nhi Tha Sir
Teachr;
Pani Kiun Nhi Tha?
Student;
Sir Motor Nhi Chal Rahi Thi.
Teachr;@
Ullu K Pathy Motor Kiun Nai Chal Rahi Thi ?
Student;
Abe chutiye, Bataya To Hy Light Nhi Thi.
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School Ki Amaret Ko Aag Lag Gyi
1 schöøl ki amaret ko aag lg gyi
schòø@l k sb bchay dur khray hans rhy thy
k chalo ab schööl to nhi ana pry ga
lekn 1 bcha
udas khra tha,
ustaad us k pas gya or kaha
beta tm naik or mehnti student lgty ho,
btao q udaas ho?
Bcha@ rota hua: sir school to jal gya
pr ap to zinda ho na.
Pyar Or Ishq Men Kia Farq Hai?
Sir: student se batao pyar or ishq men kia farq hai?
Student: sir pyar woh hy jo aap apni beti se karte hain
or ishq woh hai jo main aap ki beti se karta hon
Baccha school me late
Miss : Aaj Tum Late Q Aae?
School 8 baje Shuru Hota Hai phir der Q Ki?
Student :
.
.
.
.
Miss, Aap Meri Itni Fikar Mat Kiya Karo
dost SHAK k@rty Hain
5 Janwaron Ke Naam
Teacher to sardar:
5 janwaron k nam btao jo pani me rehty hain??
Santa: fish
Teac@her: good aur baqi 4??
Santa:
Fish di maa, piyo, pehn ty pra.
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Jo Cheez Tume Tang Kre
Sir 2 Student: Jo cheez tume tang ya
Sir 2 Student: Jo cheez tume tang ya
pareshan @kare usey apne pas b na Bhatakne do.
Student: Chalo sir, fair Baar nikalo
Student absent in the class
Teacher:
Kal School Kiyun Nhi Aye Thy?
Student:
Sir Mehmaan Aye Huwe The.
Teacher:
O I See…
Student:
Na ji
Agr O I Hondi
Te Me Aj V @Na Anda.
What happened in 1869?
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Teacher :What happen@ed in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi ji was four years old.
Saal Me Kitni Raate Hoti Hai?
Teacher:Ek Saal Me
Kitni Raate Hoti Hai?
Gopal:10 Raate Hoti Hai Ji !!
Teach@er:10 Raate,
Kaise?
Gopal: 9 NavaRaati
aur 1 ShivRaatri
Engineering n Medical college principals
argued that their students are Fearless…
Medical colg”s principal called his 2 students
n told them to jump in the SEA full of sharks..
They jumped…
The principal said “see da guts”
Engineering colg”s principal called
2 students and told them to jump…
They said “Pagal hai kya BUDHaY….?? ”
The principal said “”see da guts”" =P ;->
3 Latest versions of Java
A computer teacher asks a student :
wat are da 3 latest java versions ?
Student: mar java, mit java, lut java
ishq main dil k@ya jaan bhi
naam teray kar java o java java.
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Kabir Ka Doha
Teacher:
Kabir ka doha sunao!
Student@:
kabira kaiso kaiso,
doha diyo banay,
khud toh upar khisak liyo,
humku gayo fasay.
Example of Coincidence
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
ravi: Sir, my Mother and Father
got married on the same day, same time.
Agar Sache Dil Se Dua Ki Jaye
Agar sache dil se Rab se
Dua ki jaye to wo poori hoti hai…!!!
Teacher:
Agar sache dil se Rab se
Dua ki jaye to wo poori hoti hai…!!!
Student:@
Rehne dain miss,
agar aisa hota to aap meri biwi hotein.
Allah Ne Pait Q Banaya Hy
Teacher : ALLA@H Ne ”PAIT” Q Banaya Hy.??
Teacher : ALLAH Ne ”PAIT” Q Banaya Hy.??
.
.
.
.
Pathan :
SHALWAR Bandhane K Lye…
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Tenses with Example
Teacher: Tel me 3 Tenses with Example
Teacher: Tel me 3 Tenses with Example
Boy: I Saw your Daughter Yesterday
(Past)
We are in Love Now
(Present)
We Will Run Away Tomorrow
(Future)
Why George Washington was not punished??
TEACHER : “George Washington not only
chopped down his father’s Cherry tree,
but also admitted@ doing it. Now do you know
why his father didn’t punish him?”
PAPPU : “Because George still had
the axe in his hand?”
Chemical formula for water
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “H@IJKLMNO! “!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
Spell Crocodile
TEACHER: PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
TEACHER: PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
PAPPU: Maybe it’s wrong,
but you asked me how I spell it!
Teacher asked to a boy.
What’s the difference between
young age and old age..?
Boy: In young age there are
girls phone num@bers in mobile
and in old age there are doctors numbers.
Aiming for 90% marks
TEACHER-should aim for 90% marks!
STUDENT-I’l@l get 100% marks!
TEACHER-What.. Why are you kidding ?
STUDENT- Who started it ?
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Treat poor people’s with Sympathy and Love
Teacher – Students, We should treat poor people’s with sympathy and love.
Golu stand up a@nd said – Oh, Now, I understand why my father hug our maid every day.
What is Forgiveness..?
A teacher asked what is forgiveness..?
A cute little girl gave this lovely reply:
“It is the wonderful smell that
a flower gives when it is being crushed.”
How old is your father.?
Teacher: How old is your father.?
Johnny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it@ possible?
Johnny: He became father after I was born.
School me Gadha
Student School Me Gadha Leke Aaya,
Teacher: Ye Gadha, Q Laye Ho.?
Student: Teacher A@ap Hi To Kehti Hyen
K Maine Bare Bare Gadho Ko Insan Banaya Hy.
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Definition of a Lecturer
Teacher to Student:
“Can You Define Who is a Lecturer…???”
Student:
“A Lecturer is a Person
Who has a Bad Habit
of Speaking when Someone is Sleeping.
Successful student v/s Failed student
Behind every successful student,
there is one Girl friend..
But what about a failed student..??
..
.
.
.
?
??
???
A Beautiful Teacher..!!
Tell me my Age
Teacher: There is a frog,
Ship is sinking,
potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then, what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher: How@ do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is
16 yrs old and she is half mad.
White Color Kaa Uniform Pehen Kar
White color kaa dress pehen kar hum sab lagte they kitne ache.
School lagta tha poultry farm or hu@m sab murghi ke bachay.
Mujhko samajh na aya aaj tak teacher ka ye funda.
Humein bana deti thi murgha or khud copy pe deti thi anda.
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Teacher: Why are yo@u late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
The Great Teacher
The mediocre tea@cher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
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Soch Aur Wahem Ka Fark
Lady teacher- Soch aur wahem me kya fark hai?????
Student-Aap ma@st item hai ye hamari soch hai,
Aur ham abhi bacche hain ye aap ka wahem hai…..
Student's caste
Teacher : What is your caste ?
Student : Pehle hum Singh they,
Fir Rajput hue,
Fir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai D@arzi….
Aaage Mummy ki marzi
Student's Height of hope
what’s the height of hope??
Ans: Sitting in the exam hall,
holding the question @paper in hand and telling yourself:
"Dude, Do not worry. Exams will get postponed!"
Students examination Doubt
Teacher:- Children’s, Exams Are Nearing,
If U Have Any Doubt U Can Ask Me..
Student:- In Which Printing Press
The Question Paper Are Printed..?
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Height of Over Acting
Hi Friends!
I have decided to Stop messaging
until my Final Papers are Over.
I have to Stud@y and this is
the most important time of my career.
I hope you all will cooperate with me.
Thanks...
Well That was the Height of Over Acting.
Height Of Maska
Professor: Where Is Your Homework
Student: Sir It Tore While I Was Fighting
With A @Guy Who Said You Were Not The
Best Professor In The College
Prove that U are a Normal Student
5 points thät pröve Ure a Normal Student
1)Unnecessary talk on phone
2)Plan each day 2 study but end of d day-Kal se pakka.
3)U hav all d data but u work 1 day b4 d dead line.
4)Rite now U r thinkin of forwardin this msg to ur friends.
5)On each point U smiled, cuz its true..
Flipping a Coin
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
Head, I go t@o sleep.
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge i'll study
Q: Why is a teacher greater than a mother?
Ans: Because a mother can put only one child to sleep
But a lecturer ca@n put the whole class to sleep
Outstanding Student of the class
I am The Most Outstanding Student of My Class...
Beca@use....
I Always Stand Outside the Class...
Proud to be Outstanding
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A beating on a Student's Butt
A child never seen his hips.
Once his teacher beat him on his butts.
He came back home & saw his hips on mirror & said
KAMEENI NE DO TUKRAY KAR DIYE…..
Identification Of Students
Identification Of Students :
Books In Bag , Faisalabad
Books In Hand , Sialkot
Rolled Books In Jeans , Lahore
Without Books But Mobile In Hands, Karachi
We Rock . . .
T20 rules in Exams
Cricket is getting excited day by day
with the introduction of IPL n T20…
Same rules should be applied in Examz!
(1) Exams @Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
(4) Strategic Time-Out - @Time For Students For Discussion.
(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.
Definition of a School Report
What's the definition of a school report?
A poison pen letter from the principal!
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Do u Know who I am?
Boy: Isn’t the Principal a duffer
Girl: Do u Know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I m the p@rincipal’s daughter
Boy: do u know who I am?
Girl:No.
Boy:Thank GOD
Importance of scoring 35
Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 35 runs.
Dravid: What happened, it’s not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes,@ but the students
understand the importance of scoring 35.
Ask God is this Love
My nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD, "is this love?".
GOD replied, "no dear, result is near".
Brain - The most outstanding object
Human brain is the most outstanding object in world.
It functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year.
It functions right fro@m the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Burraaah......
.
.
Sara syllabus padh liya...
.
.
Bas books aur notes padhne reh gaye hain.
Teacher : Correct the sentence,
A bull and a cow is grazing in the field
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first
Similarity in Classrooms and Train
Class Rooms are Like a Train:
1st Two Rows are Executive Coaches Reserved for VIP.
Middle 3 are Ge@neral Compartments.
And
Last 2 Are Sleeper Coaches.
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Boy sleeping in a Classroom
In class room one boy was praying GOD GOD
Teacher: why are @you praying in classroom?
Boy: Mom advised me that b4 sleeping u must pray GOD GOD.:-)3
Even or Odd
Teacher to Santa:
What is Number Seven, Even or Odd
Santa: E@ven
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Santa: Remove the ‘S'!!
Level of Confidence
High level confidence!
Teacher 2 student: If u tell me
‘where is GOD', I’ll reward u 100 rupees.
Student : n If u tell me
'where GOD is not' ill reward u
200Rs
A person who keeps on talking
Teacher : @What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
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If a student makes a mistake
If a barber makes a mistake, It's a new style…
If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident..
If a doctor makes a mistake, It's an operation..
If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture…
If parents makes a @mistake, It is a new generation…
If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law…
If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention…
If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion…
If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory…
If a student makes a mistake, It is a MISTAKE.
Signboard 4 the Traffic rules
Q.
A student was asked 2 write a signboard
4 the traffic r@ules near the college campus
He wrote:-
Drive Carefully!
Don't kill the students,
wait for the Teachers..
Potential Of Creative Thinking
Never Attend A Class
Why … ? ? ?
John Nash Said:
Classes Make U Dull.
It Destro@ys The Potential Of Creative Thinking
So Dun Be Dull … =)
Your wish for the Future
Teacher asks children,
what do u wish 2 do in future?
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Rupali: I want to be a good mother.
Yogesh: I want to help Rupali
To be a "Good professional",
always start to study late for "Exams".
Because it teaches how to manage
"Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!
A Fool and a Wise
A Fool can ask more questions
than a wise man can answer…!!
So,@
There is no wonder that we are speechless
during the viva in practical’s..
Sponsored Links
Source of Finance
Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for @starting business?
Student: Father in law.
Full form for Maths
Full form of Maths
M=mentally
A=admitted
T=tea@cher
H=harassing
S=students
Principle of Rockets
Great students like Us,
work on th@e ‘principle of rockets
It doesn’t mean
we aim for the skies,
It means
we don't start studying
unless our tail is on fire
Example for an Algebra problem
Teacher teaching Algebra to Student
A=B=C
it means A=C
Sir asked student to give example for it!
Student: Sir I love you, you love your daughter,
it means i love your Daughter..!:p
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Students looking at their Watch
Prof:- I don’t mind when students
look at their Watch during lectures.
But it gets on nerves,
when they remove their Watch,
shake it 2 see if it’s working
A Letter from a student To his Dad
A Student
Wrote A Letter To His Father From Hostel:
Dear Dad! N@o Money, No Fun! Ur Son!
His Father Replied:
Dear Son, So Sad, Very Bad! Ur Dad…!!
The Sun or the Moon
Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The m@oon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we don’t need it
Son of a Police Constable
Police Constable
2 His @Son: Why Did U Get
So Low Marks In Ur Exam?!
Son-Keep This
50 Rupees
And Leave The Matter…
When We Throw a Ball in The Air,
Why does @it Come Down?
No Physics Answers Plz.
.
?
.
?
.
Because No one is there up to Catch the Ball.
A Friend and a Best Friend
A Friend is the one who advise you to Study Well,
but a best friend is the one who stands in exam hall
and says!
Abe kitna likhe ga ladkiyan ja rahi hain… …:p
Sponsored Links
A Student In D Principal's Office
In Olden Days,
If A Student Was In D Principal's Office
It Meant He Was In Trouble!
Nowadays,
It Means D Principal Is In Trouble!
Hostel Ka Monthly Pass
SIR: Agar Koi Student Girls Hostel Me Gaya To
1 Time 1@00rs Fine
2 Time 200
3 Time 500
Student: Sir Monthly pass ka kya Lenge?
We are Students
Fashion is simplicity for us..
Class is @meeting hall for us..
Teachers are inspectors for us..
Girls are dolls
Guys are prince..
Cafe means life to us..
Stud@y is our part time hobby.
Campus roads are catwalk tracks
We know how to laugh after
short attendance & poor grades
We r students
keep rocking yaro!
Department h@ai jis me
Aurat kaam nhi kar
sakti..???
:
:
Pappu: FIRE BRIGADE..
Teacher: Kyon
:
PAPPU: kynki Aurton ka kaam
Aag lagana h@ai... bujhana nahi.
.
Pappu rockz.. Teacher shockz..
Hindi Translation
Teachar: Beta Batao Ki
“Fast”
“Faster”,
“Fastest”
Forms Ko Hindi Me Kaise
Kahenge....??
.
.
.
Student:
“Bhaag”
.
.
“Tezz Bhaag” .
.
.
“Bhaag Teri M@aa Ki... :P
Teachar Shocked...student rockzz
Sponsored Links
Extra Ordinary Student
Extraordinarily ENGINEERINGStudent :-
.
Teacher :- "Do you know Avogadro's Number ?
"
.
.
Student :- "Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"?
.
.
.
Teacher :- "Ladka"
.
.
.
.
Student :- "Sorry Dude ! Mai Ladko Ke Number
Nahi Rakhta" ;) :P
Essay on "My Class Teacher"
Teacher nay Student ko
" My Class Teacher "
per essay likhnay ko kaha
thori dair baad ek student ki awaz aai
Miss
CHIKNI or @POPAT ko english mai kya kahtay hai?...:p
Math vich fail Q hoya?
Sadi techer kendi ay
Santa: Math vich fail Q hoya?
Son:
Sadi techer kendi ay 3+5=8
Agle@ din kendi ay 4+4=8,
fair kendi ay 6+2=8
Sali nu ap confirm nai
tay fail manu kr dita….?
Excuses by Teachers
Top ans of teachers if they don’t have ans of any ques!
.
¤ don’t ask irrelevant question
.
¤ I can answer u but it is above ur level so better leave it
.
¤ I told dat in last lecture where were u at dat time
.
¤ oo.. I waz waiting 4 dis question… gud u asked….
look 4 it in da book first otherwise I’ll tell u tomorrow
.
¤Dis z ur asignmnt,search 4it.
.
¤u’l study ds in next clas,dnt indulge urslf in cnfusion!
.
¤nice ques! Raise d hand who knows d ans?:-D
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Brilliant Answers by students
Brilliant Answers by student but the teacher gave him ’0' marks only
Q- In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
A- His last battle
Q- Where was th@e declaration of independence signed?
A- At the bottom of the page
Q- What’s the main reason for Divorce?
A- Marriage
Q- River Indus flows in which state?
A- Liquid state
Q- When was Quai@d-e-Azam born?
A- On his birthday
Q- How will u distribute 8 mangoes among 6 people?
A- By making mango shake..
Good Luck
Height of good luck
,
,
Teacher: hey you, stand up And tell Me 2 pronouns
.
Student: who, Me?
.
Teacher: very good sit-down……..:-)
:-):-)
Nursery Class Ka Naughty baccha
Aik Nursery CLASS Ka Bacha:
Ma’am Main Aap Ko Kaisa Lagta Hun?
Madam:
Oh, Very SWEET..
BACHA Apnay Dost Se:
Dekha, Maine Kaha Tha Na Line Marti Hai.
Student after watching “Dabangg”
Bcha Dabang dekh kar aya
School mein sir : baita tumhare sare
ans gala@t hein marks de to kahan?
Bcha : KAMAL KARTE HaiN MASTER JI.
MARKS HI TO MANG RAHE HAIN,
CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA
THAPAR M@AR K BHI LAY SKTE HAIN.
Sir: Badtamiz
bcha: BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA,
AAP K PAPA KAISE HAIN?
Sir: Nikal ja meri class se,
bcha: CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO
WARNA ANS SHEET ME ITNE CHED KARENGE
K CONFUSE HO JAOGE
K MARKS KaHAn DEN OR ZERO KAHAN DAIN!
Height Of Adab:
Hum Sirf Ye Soch Ker Paper Khali De Atay Hy,
K Kahin Teacher Ye Na Kahen:
.
.
K Agey Se Jawab Detay Hai…
Respect Ur Teacher
Students Of M.B.B.S
1st Year Students Of MBBS
Were Attending Their 1st Anatomy Class.
They All G@athered Around The Surgery Table
Wid A Real Dead Dog.
The Professor, Put His Finger In Dog’s Mouth
& Tasted It In His Own Mouth.
Then He Said Them To Do The Same.
The Students Hesitated 4 Several Minutes.
But Eventua@lly Everyone Inserted Their Fingerz
In Dog’s Mouth & Tasted It.
When Everyone Finished,
The Prof. Looked At Them & Said:
The Most Important Quality Is ‘Observation’.
I Inserted My Middle Finger But Tasted The Index Finger.
Now Learn To ‘Pay Attention’.
(Sms on mbbs student)
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Teacher to sleepy Students
Teacher 2 Sleepy Student:
Who Invented Steam Engine?
Student:
What Sir?
Teacher:
Yes @Correct
It’s James Watt
Moral:
Sleeping Improves Ur
General Knowledge… ;->
Sentence Starting With “I”
Teach@er To Student:
Give Me A Sentence Starting With “I”
Student:
I Is. . . .
Teacher:
No, Always Say, “I Am”
Student:
All Right,
“I Am The Ninth Letter Of The Alphabets.
Moral:
Hmesha Efficiency Nahi Jharni Chahye,
Kabi Kabi Students Ki B Sun Leni Chahye;)
Tenses Ki Misal
Techr: Bcho Past Present Or Future
Tenses Ki Koi Misal Dain.
Jesy K,
Main Khubsurt Thi,
Khubsurt Hu.
Khubsu@rt Rhon Gi.
Bacha:
Apko Wehm Tha.
Wehm H Or Wehm Rhy Ga.
Dabangg wala Pappu
Teacher:
Papu I Wil Giv U A Tight Slap
If U Con@tinue Ur
Non Serious Behavior In The Class!
.
Papu:
.
.
.
.
.
Thappar Se Dar Nai Lgta Madam ,
Pyar Se@ Lgta Hy ;->
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Attitude of a student in a class
Teacher:
Why R U Talking During My Lesson?
Student:
Why R U Teaching During My Conversation..!!
Panga Iz N0t Changa Wid Da Students;->
Behind Every Successful Man
Teacher:
Behind Every Successful Man There Is A Woman
What Do We Learn From This?
Student:@
We Should Stop Wasting Time In Studies
And Find A Woman
How to write 55??
A Teacher Asked A Student To Write 55.
Student Asked:
How?
Teacher:
Write 5 And Beside It Another 5!
The Student Wrote 5 And Stopped.
Teacher:@
What Are You Waiting For?
Student:
I Don’t Know Which Side To Write The Other 5!
Pathan shocks the Teacher
Pathan Asked Teacher:
If Black Is A Color & White Is Also A Color
Den Y Black & White T.V Is Not A Color T.V?
Teach@er Shocked
Pathan Rocked…
Teacher:
Main Tumhari Jan Nikal Dungi,
Iski English@ Batao…
Student:
English Ki Maa Ki Aankh
Tu Pehle Hath To Laga K Dikha
Student techer Hindi sms
Teacher;
Homework Kiun Nhi Kiya?
Stdnt;@
Sir,Light Nhi Thi
Teachr;
To Mom Batti Jala Lete
Student;
Sir,Maachis Nhi Thi
Teachr;
Machis Kiun Nai Thi
Student;
Masjid Me Rkhi Thi.
Teachr;
To Wahan Se Le Aate
Student;
Nahaya Hua Nhi Tha
Teachr;
Nahaye Kiun Nhi Thy
Student;
Pani Nhi Tha Sir
Teachr;
Pani Kiun Nhi Tha?
Student;
Sir Motor Nhi Chal Rahi Thi.
Teachr;@
Ullu K Pathy Motor Kiun Nai Chal Rahi Thi ?
Student;
Abe chutiye, Bataya To Hy Light Nhi Thi.
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School Ki Amaret Ko Aag Lag Gyi
1 schöøl ki amaret ko aag lg gyi
schòø@l k sb bchay dur khray hans rhy thy
k chalo ab schööl to nhi ana pry ga
lekn 1 bcha
udas khra tha,
ustaad us k pas gya or kaha
beta tm naik or mehnti student lgty ho,
btao q udaas ho?
Bcha@ rota hua: sir school to jal gya
pr ap to zinda ho na.
Pyar Or Ishq Men Kia Farq Hai?
Sir: student se batao pyar or ishq men kia farq hai?
Student: sir pyar woh hy jo aap apni beti se karte hain
or ishq woh hai jo main aap ki beti se karta hon
Baccha school me late
Miss : Aaj Tum Late Q Aae?
School 8 baje Shuru Hota Hai phir der Q Ki?
Student :
.
.
.
.
Miss, Aap Meri Itni Fikar Mat Kiya Karo
dost SHAK k@rty Hain
5 Janwaron Ke Naam
Teacher to sardar:
5 janwaron k nam btao jo pani me rehty hain??
Santa: fish
Teac@her: good aur baqi 4??
Santa:
Fish di maa, piyo, pehn ty pra.
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Jo Cheez Tume Tang Kre
Sir 2 Student: Jo cheez tume tang ya
Sir 2 Student: Jo cheez tume tang ya
pareshan @kare usey apne pas b na Bhatakne do.
Student: Chalo sir, fair Baar nikalo
Student absent in the class
Teacher:
Kal School Kiyun Nhi Aye Thy?
Student:
Sir Mehmaan Aye Huwe The.
Teacher:
O I See…
Student:
Na ji
Agr O I Hondi
Te Me Aj V @Na Anda.
What happened in 1869?
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Teacher :What happen@ed in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhi ji was four years old.
Saal Me Kitni Raate Hoti Hai?
Teacher:Ek Saal Me
Kitni Raate Hoti Hai?
Gopal:10 Raate Hoti Hai Ji !!
Teach@er:10 Raate,
Kaise?
Gopal: 9 NavaRaati
aur 1 ShivRaatri
Engineering n Medical college principals
argued that their students are Fearless…
Medical colg”s principal called his 2 students
n told them to jump in the SEA full of sharks..
They jumped…
The principal said “see da guts”
Engineering colg”s principal called
2 students and told them to jump…
They said “Pagal hai kya BUDHaY….?? ”
The principal said “”see da guts”" =P ;->
3 Latest versions of Java
A computer teacher asks a student :
wat are da 3 latest java versions ?
Student: mar java, mit java, lut java
ishq main dil k@ya jaan bhi
naam teray kar java o java java.
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Kabir Ka Doha
Teacher:
Kabir ka doha sunao!
Student@:
kabira kaiso kaiso,
doha diyo banay,
khud toh upar khisak liyo,
humku gayo fasay.
Example of Coincidence
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
ravi: Sir, my Mother and Father
got married on the same day, same time.
Agar Sache Dil Se Dua Ki Jaye
Agar sache dil se Rab se
Dua ki jaye to wo poori hoti hai…!!!
Teacher:
Agar sache dil se Rab se
Dua ki jaye to wo poori hoti hai…!!!
Student:@
Rehne dain miss,
agar aisa hota to aap meri biwi hotein.
Allah Ne Pait Q Banaya Hy
Teacher : ALLA@H Ne ”PAIT” Q Banaya Hy.??
Teacher : ALLAH Ne ”PAIT” Q Banaya Hy.??
.
.
.
.
Pathan :
SHALWAR Bandhane K Lye…
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Tenses with Example
Teacher: Tel me 3 Tenses with Example
Teacher: Tel me 3 Tenses with Example
Boy: I Saw your Daughter Yesterday
(Past)
We are in Love Now
(Present)
We Will Run Away Tomorrow
(Future)
Why George Washington was not punished??
TEACHER : “George Washington not only
chopped down his father’s Cherry tree,
but also admitted@ doing it. Now do you know
why his father didn’t punish him?”
PAPPU : “Because George still had
the axe in his hand?”
Chemical formula for water
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
PAPPU : “H@IJKLMNO! “!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
Spell Crocodile
TEACHER: PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
TEACHER: PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
PAPPU: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
PAPPU: Maybe it’s wrong,
but you asked me how I spell it!
Teacher asked to a boy.
What’s the difference between
young age and old age..?
Boy: In young age there are
girls phone num@bers in mobile
and in old age there are doctors numbers.
Aiming for 90% marks
TEACHER-should aim for 90% marks!
STUDENT-I’l@l get 100% marks!
TEACHER-What.. Why are you kidding ?
STUDENT- Who started it ?
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Treat poor people’s with Sympathy and Love
Teacher – Students, We should treat poor people’s with sympathy and love.
Golu stand up a@nd said – Oh, Now, I understand why my father hug our maid every day.
What is Forgiveness..?
A teacher asked what is forgiveness..?
A cute little girl gave this lovely reply:
“It is the wonderful smell that
a flower gives when it is being crushed.”
How old is your father.?
Teacher: How old is your father.?
Johnny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it@ possible?
Johnny: He became father after I was born.
School me Gadha
Student School Me Gadha Leke Aaya,
Teacher: Ye Gadha, Q Laye Ho.?
Student: Teacher A@ap Hi To Kehti Hyen
K Maine Bare Bare Gadho Ko Insan Banaya Hy.
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Definition of a Lecturer
Teacher to Student:
“Can You Define Who is a Lecturer…???”
Student:
“A Lecturer is a Person
Who has a Bad Habit
of Speaking when Someone is Sleeping.
Successful student v/s Failed student
Behind every successful student,
there is one Girl friend..
But what about a failed student..??
..
.
.
.
?
??
???
A Beautiful Teacher..!!
Tell me my Age
Teacher: There is a frog,
Ship is sinking,
potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .
Then, what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher: How@ do you know?
STUDENT: Well, my sister is
16 yrs old and she is half mad.
White Color Kaa Uniform Pehen Kar
White color kaa dress pehen kar hum sab lagte they kitne ache.
School lagta tha poultry farm or hu@m sab murghi ke bachay.
Mujhko samajh na aya aaj tak teacher ka ye funda.
Humein bana deti thi murgha or khud copy pe deti thi anda.
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Teacher: Why are yo@u late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
The Great Teacher
The mediocre tea@cher tells.
The good teacher explains.
The superior teacher demonstrates.
The great teacher inspires.
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Soch Aur Wahem Ka Fark
Lady teacher- Soch aur wahem me kya fark hai?????
Student-Aap ma@st item hai ye hamari soch hai,
Aur ham abhi bacche hain ye aap ka wahem hai…..
Student's caste
Teacher : What is your caste ?
Student : Pehle hum Singh they,
Fir Rajput hue,
Fir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai D@arzi….
Aaage Mummy ki marzi
Student's Height of hope
what’s the height of hope??
Ans: Sitting in the exam hall,
holding the question @paper in hand and telling yourself:
"Dude, Do not worry. Exams will get postponed!"
Students examination Doubt
Teacher:- Children’s, Exams Are Nearing,
If U Have Any Doubt U Can Ask Me..
Student:- In Which Printing Press
The Question Paper Are Printed..?
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Height of Over Acting
Hi Friends!
I have decided to Stop messaging
until my Final Papers are Over.
I have to Stud@y and this is
the most important time of my career.
I hope you all will cooperate with me.
Thanks...
Well That was the Height of Over Acting.
Height Of Maska
Professor: Where Is Your Homework
Student: Sir It Tore While I Was Fighting
With A @Guy Who Said You Were Not The
Best Professor In The College
Prove that U are a Normal Student
5 points thät pröve Ure a Normal Student
1)Unnecessary talk on phone
2)Plan each day 2 study but end of d day-Kal se pakka.
3)U hav all d data but u work 1 day b4 d dead line.
4)Rite now U r thinkin of forwardin this msg to ur friends.
5)On each point U smiled, cuz its true..
Flipping a Coin
A student grabbed a coin,
Flipped it in the air & said,
Head, I go t@o sleep.
Tail, I watch a movie.
If it stands on the edge i'll study
Q: Why is a teacher greater than a mother?
Ans: Because a mother can put only one child to sleep
But a lecturer ca@n put the whole class to sleep
Outstanding Student of the class
I am The Most Outstanding Student of My Class...
Beca@use....
I Always Stand Outside the Class...
Proud to be Outstanding
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A beating on a Student's Butt
A child never seen his hips.
Once his teacher beat him on his butts.
He came back home & saw his hips on mirror & said
KAMEENI NE DO TUKRAY KAR DIYE…..
Identification Of Students
Identification Of Students :
Books In Bag , Faisalabad
Books In Hand , Sialkot
Rolled Books In Jeans , Lahore
Without Books But Mobile In Hands, Karachi
We Rock . . .
T20 rules in Exams
Cricket is getting excited day by day
with the introduction of IPL n T20…
Same rules should be applied in Examz!
(1) Exams @Timing Should Be Reduced To One Hour.
(2) Power Play - No Invigilator In Exam Hall For 1st 15 mins.
(3) Cheer Leaders - To Dance After Every Right Answer Written.
(4) Strategic Time-Out - @Time For Students For Discussion.
(5) Super Over - Chance For Students To Form Their Own Question.
Definition of a School Report
What's the definition of a school report?
A poison pen letter from the principal!
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Do u Know who I am?
Boy: Isn’t the Principal a duffer
Girl: Do u Know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I m the p@rincipal’s daughter
Boy: do u know who I am?
Girl:No.
Boy:Thank GOD
Importance of scoring 35
Harbhajan starts raising his bat on 35 runs.
Dravid: What happened, it’s not 50 or 100!
Harbhajan: Yes,@ but the students
understand the importance of scoring 35.
Ask God is this Love
My nights are going sleepless,
my days are going useless.
So I asked GOD, "is this love?".
GOD replied, "no dear, result is near".
Brain - The most outstanding object
Human brain is the most outstanding object in world.
It functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year.
It functions right fro@m the time we are born,
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.
Burraaah......
.
.
Sara syllabus padh liya...
.
.
Bas books aur notes padhne reh gaye hain.
Teacher : Correct the sentence,
A bull and a cow is grazing in the field
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first
Similarity in Classrooms and Train
Class Rooms are Like a Train:
1st Two Rows are Executive Coaches Reserved for VIP.
Middle 3 are Ge@neral Compartments.
And
Last 2 Are Sleeper Coaches.
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Boy sleeping in a Classroom
In class room one boy was praying GOD GOD
Teacher: why are @you praying in classroom?
Boy: Mom advised me that b4 sleeping u must pray GOD GOD.:-)3
Even or Odd
Teacher to Santa:
What is Number Seven, Even or Odd
Santa: E@ven
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Santa: Remove the ‘S'!!
Level of Confidence
High level confidence!
Teacher 2 student: If u tell me
‘where is GOD', I’ll reward u 100 rupees.
Student : n If u tell me
'where GOD is not' ill reward u
200Rs
A person who keeps on talking
Teacher : @What do you call a person
who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
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If a student makes a mistake
If a barber makes a mistake, It's a new style…
If a driver makes a mistake, It is an accident..
If a doctor makes a mistake, It's an operation..
If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture…
If parents makes a @mistake, It is a new generation…
If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law…
If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention…
If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion…
If a teacher makes a mistake , It is a new theory…
If a student makes a mistake, It is a MISTAKE.
Signboard 4 the Traffic rules
Q.
A student was asked 2 write a signboard
4 the traffic r@ules near the college campus
He wrote:-
Drive Carefully!
Don't kill the students,
wait for the Teachers..
Potential Of Creative Thinking
Never Attend A Class
Why … ? ? ?
John Nash Said:
Classes Make U Dull.
It Destro@ys The Potential Of Creative Thinking
So Dun Be Dull … =)
Your wish for the Future
Teacher asks children,
what do u wish 2 do in future?
Vinod: I want to be a doctor.
Rupali: I want to be a good mother.
Yogesh: I want to help Rupali
To be a "Good professional",
always start to study late for "Exams".
Because it teaches how to manage
"Time" and tackle "Emergencies"!!
A Fool and a Wise
A Fool can ask more questions
than a wise man can answer…!!
So,@
There is no wonder that we are speechless
during the viva in practical’s..
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Source of Finance
Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for @starting business?
Student: Father in law.
Full form for Maths
Full form of Maths
M=mentally
A=admitted
T=tea@cher
H=harassing
S=students
Principle of Rockets
Great students like Us,
work on th@e ‘principle of rockets
It doesn’t mean
we aim for the skies,
It means
we don't start studying
unless our tail is on fire
Example for an Algebra problem
Teacher teaching Algebra to Student
A=B=C
it means A=C
Sir asked student to give example for it!
Student: Sir I love you, you love your daughter,
it means i love your Daughter..!:p
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Students looking at their Watch
Prof:- I don’t mind when students
look at their Watch during lectures.
But it gets on nerves,
when they remove their Watch,
shake it 2 see if it’s working
A Letter from a student To his Dad
A Student
Wrote A Letter To His Father From Hostel:
Dear Dad! N@o Money, No Fun! Ur Son!
His Father Replied:
Dear Son, So Sad, Very Bad! Ur Dad…!!
The Sun or the Moon
Teacher : Which is more important to us,
the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The m@oon gives us light at night
when we need it but the sun gives us light
only in the day time when we don’t need it
Son of a Police Constable
Police Constable
2 His @Son: Why Did U Get
So Low Marks In Ur Exam?!
Son-Keep This
50 Rupees
And Leave The Matter…
When We Throw a Ball in The Air,
Why does @it Come Down?
No Physics Answers Plz.
.
?
.
?
.
Because No one is there up to Catch the Ball.
A Friend and a Best Friend
A Friend is the one who advise you to Study Well,
but a best friend is the one who stands in exam hall
and says!
Abe kitna likhe ga ladkiyan ja rahi hain… …:p
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A Student In D Principal's Office
In Olden Days,
If A Student Was In D Principal's Office
It Meant He Was In Trouble!
Nowadays,
It Means D Principal Is In Trouble!
Hostel Ka Monthly Pass
SIR: Agar Koi Student Girls Hostel Me Gaya To
1 Time 1@00rs Fine
2 Time 200
3 Time 500
Student: Sir Monthly pass ka kya Lenge?
We are Students
Fashion is simplicity for us..
Class is @meeting hall for us..
Teachers are inspectors for us..
Girls are dolls
Guys are prince..
Cafe means life to us..
Stud@y is our part time hobby.
Campus roads are catwalk tracks
We know how to laugh after
short attendance & poor grades
We r students
keep rocking yaro!
टिप्पणियाँ
एक टिप्पणी भेजें