Funny Quotes About Eating New 2017

1. No, please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. 
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4. I could've eaten Alphabits and crapped out a better essay!
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6. Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you! 
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8. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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11. If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
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14. Is the chemical aftertaste the reason why people eat hot dogs, or is it some kind of bonus? - 
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17. Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. 
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20. I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. 
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23. Think about it for a second: You are what you eat, so do you really want to eat junk food? 
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26. Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?
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30. ➽You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now ⟷I'm scared!
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32. In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry 
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34. I⟶f you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet! 
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38. ⤋Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the ⤊book was better! 
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42. Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie. 
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45. Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. 
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47. Waiting until the movie ➽starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
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51. ➽Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
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54. Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making.
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57. ⤁I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.  
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60. If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
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64. ➼➼I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. 
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67. I'm like ⤃Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. 
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69. Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. 
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72. All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. 
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76. If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. 
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80. Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I start to think of a nice cheese sandwich
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84. How do I like my eggs? In a cake 
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87. ➽How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...
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91. ➽Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. 
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94. I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
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98. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.
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101. ➽Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're ⤊thinking about is eating them.
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104. If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand. 
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108. I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.