If Arvind Kejriwal had been British PM they could have gone both ways.
#Bremain on odd days and #Brexit on even days.
NEWS AND POLITICS
#Brexit to be followed by
Grexit
Departugal
Italeave
Fruckoff
Czechout
Oustria
Finish
Slovlong
Latervia
Byegium
NEWS AND POLITICS
ISRO successfully launched 20 satellites.
On learning this, Amitabh Bachchan and Jatinder have approached ISRO and requested to launch their sons too!
NEWS AND POLITICS / BOLLYWOOD
Guy 1: Udta Punjab has been banned.
Guy 2: Why?
Guy 1: Drugs problem in Punjab.
Guy 2: Punjab Mein Drugs Problem Nahi Hai, Sab Aaram Se Milta Hai!
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
Udta Punjab
Wrong name
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Rulda Punjab
NEWS AND POLITICS / BOLLYWOOD
Kejriwal has become a CM
Kiran Bedi has become a Lt. Governor
V.K. Singh has become a Minister
Salute to Anna Hazare whose campus placement is 100%
NEWS AND POLITICS
Reporter: Sir, what is your strategy for the upcoming elections in Kerala?
Rahul: I don't like that vegetable.
NEWS AND POLITICS
If Gurgaon becomes Gurugram then,
Kolkata: Kilogram
Mumbai: Milligram
Chennai: Centigram
Telangana: Telegram
And soon India will be Instagram!
NEWS AND POLITICS
A documentary on Kingfisher planes
- Saare Zameen Par!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Mrs Owaisi: I love you.
Owaisi: OK.
Mrs Owaisi: Won't you say I love you?
Owaisi: It's not written in the constitution
It was known that PM Modi would take on Kejriwal someday. But never imagined it would be such a vicious attack...
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Banning Corex cough syrup? That's inhuman, Mr. PM!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Vijay Mallya loan recovery started
Petrol and Diesel price hike
Petrol increased by ₹ 3.07
Diesel increased by ₹ 1.90
NEWS AND POLITICS
This is really a confusion!
The person who made liquor is in debt.
Gov't who sold liquor also is in debt.
People who drink this also is in debt.
Then where is the money?
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
Vijay Mallya was always in Dire Straits...
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Money for nothing and Chicks for free!
NEWS AND POLITICS
I went to an SBI branch and found it freshly painted, all in white. Felt good. I asked the branch manager if he initiated the renovation. He said, "Nahi Sir, Vijay Mallya Chunna Laga Geya!"
NEWS AND POLITICS
As per the laws of Physics, generally a Liquid drowns anything and the Air lifts it.
But Mallya was lifted by Liquid and drowned by Air!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Lalit Modi: Dude, we're both NRIs now.
Vijay Mallya: How?
Lalit Modi: I'm Non-Returning Indian and you're Non-Repaying Indian!
NEWS AND POLITICS
If Mallya would have taken VC funding instead of bank loans, he would be a keynote speaker at every startup event sharing "Lessons from failure & challenges of scale" vs. "Hiding as a criminal in the uk"!
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
Normally... 'Spirit' leaves and the 'body' is left behind!
But in Mallya's case... 'Body' left and the 'spirit' is left behind!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Jitna Hum JNU Ke Chhatron Ko Desh Drohi Ke Liye Condemn Karte Hain, Utna Hi Holi Pe Saste Chinese Colours Kharidne Waalon Ko Bhi Karna Chahiye!
Bikini Bikini Ke Chakkar Mein, Company Toh Ek Din Bikni Hi Thi!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Ravi Shankar mastered 'The Art of Living'.
Vijay Mallya practiced 'The Art of Leaving'!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Vijay Mal-Liya.💷💰
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Aur Bhaag Liya!🏃✈
NEWS AND POLITICS / HINGLISH
It's neither in our principle to pay interest, nor it's in our interest to pay the principal.
~ Vijay Mallya, Author of The Theory of Borrowing
NEWS AND POLITICS
Jaat: Phone Mein Gaane Hain?
Me: Hain!
Jaat: Whatsapp Pe Backward Kar De.
Me: You mean Forward?
Jaat: Nahi Hum Backward Karwate Hain!
NEWS AND POLITICS / HINGLISH
Honey Singh's advice to Sharapova - Ena Vi Na Dope Shope 'Maria' Karo!
NEWS AND POLITICS / SPORTS / FUNNY
It's an excellent budget if you are are a non-smoker who has an Aadhaar Card... but has lost his degree certificate; and plans to launch a loss-making startup this year!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News:
After watching so much 'Exuberance' & 'Drama' at JNU
'ISIS' & 'Lashkar' are planning to visit JNU for 'Campus Recruitment'!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Request to Railway Minister,
Sir whether you lower the train fare or not, please increase the length of the chain of the bathroom mug.
It doesn't reach where it is supposed to!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Future exam pattern in India:
General students - Answer all questions.
General students (girls) - Any three out of ten. (33% of total)
OBC - Write any question.
SC - Only read questions.
ST - Thank you for coming.
Gujjars/Jats - Thank you for allowing others to attend the examination.
Koi ₹251 Mein Smartphone De Raha Hai
Koi Free WiFi
Koi Jokes Banane Ke Liye Material
Kaun Kehta Hai Neta Matlabi Hote Hain!
NEWS AND POLITICS
The volatile stock market affects human beings and their best friends...
Message from China:
Last month, market was good, my dog what I ate.
Last week, market was bad, I ate what my dog ate.
Yesterday, market crashed, I ate my dog.
NEWS AND POLITICS
In Bihar:
Boy: Chalo Aaj Tumhein 5 Star Hotel Mein Khana Khilata Hun.
Girl: Get lost.
Boy: Achha Chalo Aao Samosa Khilata Hun.
Girl: Awwww... I love you!
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
Sanjay Dutt to be released on Feb 25.
Or maybe he is being expelled from jail for low attendance!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Thought for the day:
Cutting down on Rajmah Chawal, Chole Bhature and Mooli Ke Paranthe might bring down air pollution by 50 percent in Delhi.
Rajmah on even days and Chole on odd!
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
Everyone has their share of problems.
In Delhi,
People don't know which car to take out today?
In Dubai,
People don't know which wife to take out today?
NEWS AND POLITICS
In Delhi, your number plate is the new cleavage!
Everyone is checking it out!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Pakistan requests Modi not to visit Pakistan.
The 1st visit is followed by an earthquake.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Robert and Sonia are only two persons in this country who are proud of their mothers-in-law!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News from Silicon Valley:
Google looses its patent on the driverless car to an Indian by the name of Salman Khan.
Breaking news:
Delhi govt. announces that anyone who can remember all the exemptions to the #OddEvenFormula will be exempted from it.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Pollution levels alarming, in Delhi... Breathing becomes difficult... Kejriwal suggests breathing with left nostril on odd days and right nostril on even days.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Kejriwal's next Krantikari reform, bath alternative days to save water:
Gent's: Monday, Wednesday, Friday
Ladies: Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
Kids: Sunday only
#OddEvenFormula
NEWS AND POLITICS
Reporter: Sir, How do you propose to reduce the increasing incidents of rape in Delhi?
Kejriwal: Very simple, Bas Ek Din Sirf Purush Bahar Niklenge Aur Doosre Din Sirf Mahilayen!
NEWS AND POLITICS
#DelhiOddEvenLogic
Guy1: Bhai, Ladai ####Hogayi Hai, Gaadi Mein Ladke Bhar Ke Le Aa.
Guy2: Gaadi Ka Number Even Hai, Aaj Odd Day Hai, Maar Kha Le!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Matrimonial ads in Delhi soon:
Wanted fair, tall, cultured girl with odd number plate, Manglik boy with even plates.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Army Officer: I have not linked my account to Aadhaar. But I still got gas subsidy.
Bank Employee: That's not the gas subsidy. That's your 7th pay commission hike in your salary.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Nehru Ji Ke Kapde ###Dhulne Britain Jaate They.
Modi Ji Ke India Aate Hain.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Main Bhi Country Chhod Dunga. . .
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Sirf English Piyunga!
NEWS AND POLITICS / HINGLISH
How lucky is Aamir Khan that his wife is scared of something.
Hamari Wali Toh Kisi Se Nahi Darti!
The way Indians reacted for Aamir's statement, if they could have reacted similarly for corrupted politicians, India would have been a developed country by now!
NEWS AND POLITICS
After filing of police complaint against Aamir now Kiran may feel...
Bachchon Ki Baat Chhodo Yahan To Bachchon Ke Papa Bhi Safe Nahi Hain!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Queen Elizabeth called Subramaniam Swamy and pleaded that she is ready to give the Kohinoor back...but please don't declare Rahul Gandhi as British citizen!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Peter Mukherjea has been arrested in the Sheena Bora murder case.
Let's prepare ourselves for another round of - who dated who and the inner lives of the Mukherjeas!
NEWS AND POLITIC###S / NEWS AND POLITICS
In June, they conducted marriage of two monkeys in Tamilnadu for inviting rain.
Now, they are looking for those monkeys to get them divorced.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Pehle ISI
Phir ICICI
Aur Ab ISIS
Indians Ko yeh IS Jeene Nahi Denge!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Punjabi is now the third language in Canada's Parliament. However, It must be clarified that BC continues to stand for British Columbia!
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
My wife is the greatest reward I ever got... Tried returning her today but didn't work!
You gotta live with intolerance and without freedom of expression sometimes!
NEWS AND POLITICS / MARRIAGE
Before Election:
'Employment, development, good days, black money, infrastructure'.
After Elections:
'Cow'!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Modi is the first PM to have received 4 Padma Bhushans, 12 National Awards and 33 Sahitya Academy Awards in just 18 months
Out of all filmmakers I like Vikas Bahl's way of returning award.
He made 'Shaandaar' to return all awards he got for Queen!
NEWS AND POLITICS / BOLLYWOOD
China scraps One Child Policy:
India should follow suit and scrap One Wife Policy!
NEWS AND POLITICS
China scraps One Child Policy:
Now there would b###e more confusion in the world with more similar looking people!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Earthquake Aane Pe Ghabrayein Mat... Yeh Karein
1. Turant Apna Facebook Status Update Karein
2. Bhaag Ke Jaan Bachayein
3. Bahar Aake Bheed Ke Saath Ek Selfie Lein
4. Bhale Hi Apni Fati Padi Ho But ##Khud### Ko Cool Show Karein, Ghabrayein Mat, Doosro Par Hanse Ki Saale Kaisa Bhaaga Tu
~ Janhit Mein Jaari!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Just thinking aloud...
Going with the current trend of returning awards and certificates given for art and literature against growing intolerance, will the return of the marriage certificate also be counted as a noble protest for restoration for freedom of speech and expression and against the growing domestic intoleration?
NEWS AND POLITICS / MARRIAGE
P.M. Modi planning to visit Mars in January 2016 to attract Alien Investors.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Maharashtra government raises taxes by 5% on cigarettes, liquor and beverages to help drought hit farmers.
Hence from now going to bar will be considered as social services.
New Mantra - 'Save a farmer... have a drink'!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Boy: Baby, I love you. Let's move in together.
Girl: Umm. You do know the government is reading our chats, right?
Boy: Chalo Bahan, Saath Mil Kar Bharat Ko Swachh Banayein!
NEWS AND POLITICS
What the dislike button on FB means in India:
Chup Be
Kaminee
Bhag Saale
Chal Jhoothi
Munh Dho Ke Aa
Shakal Dekhi Hai?
NEWS AND POLITICS
If you ain't broke, we'll fix it.
~ Apple
Iphone 6S released!
One more thing added to the list of things 'I cannot afford to buy.'
NEWS AND POLITICS
Husband: Have you heard about 'Raja Dashrath'?
Wife: Yes, I've.
Husband: He had 3 wives.
Wife: Yes, I know that.
Husband: So I can also have two more wives.
Wife: Have you heard of 'Indrani Mukharjea'?
Husband: I was just joking you get emotional on small things.
NEWS AND POLITICS / MARRIAGE
By the end of the interrogation of Sheena Bora murder case, Indrani will convince the Mumbai Police Commissioner to become her next husband!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Just in:
Keeping in mind... Indrani Mukherjea's case, the govt. should also implement OWOT - "One Wife One Tension" Plan!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Next KBC Ke Fastest Finger First Ka Question:
Indrani Ke In Patiyon Ko Pehle Se Baad Ke Kram Mein Lagayen!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Lo Kar Lo Baat
Sab Mile Huye Hain, Thailand Sadak Modi Ji Ne Rahul Gandhi Ko Khush Karne Ke Liye Banayi Hai!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Bhai Saheb, Yeh Tihar Se Kitni Der Mein Pahunchenge Bangkok Nayi Road Se?
NEWS AND POLITICS
6 relationships
5 husbands
4 weddings
3 kids
2 Nillion fortune 1 murder
And she's just 45.
Indrani Mukherjea - ideal young achiever!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Indrani Mukerjea Ne Toh Sach Mein Maa-Behan Ek Kar Di!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Dollar on an escalator
Rupee on a ventilator
Nation in ICU
We are in coma
Onions in showroom
May God bless India!
New unitary method/ measure introduced in Indian schools with immediate effect:
After Million, Billion, Trillion, The fourth larger unit is
"Onion'... and such rich people are called 'Onionaires'!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News:
Pyaaz Khareedne Ke Liye Aaj Bahut Se Logon Ne Apne Share Beche!
NEWS AND POLITICS
The only way to save the Rupee is to have it tie a Rakhi to the Dollar and say,
"Bhai, Meri Raksha Karna!"
NEWS AND POLITICS / RAKSHA BANDHAN
Modi Ji ne Kaha: Mittro "Gas Subsidy" Chhodo.
Subsidy To Koi Chhod Nahi Raha, Sirf Gas Chhod Rahe Hain!
NEWS AND POLITICS / HINGLISH
Look at Yakub Memon execution's minute details:
Wake up call 3:30 in the morning.
Talk with relatives.
Mantra Prathna.
Getting ready in new clothes.
Breakfast of choice.
It reminds me... same thing happened to me on my marriage day!
NEWS AND POLITICS / MARRIAGE
Fly & Fly.
I am Born With Potential,
I am Born With Idea,
I am Born With Greatness,
I am Born With Courage,
I Will Defeat The Problem and Succeed,
I am Not For Crawling Because I Will Fly.
~Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam
NEWS AND POLITICS
Hyundai launches SUV Creta.
So basically in the future... if anyone buys a second hand Creta, it will be someone's excreta!
NEWS AND POLITICS
#GreeceCrisis:
Waqt Ki Maar To Dekh Ghalib...
Duniya Jeetne Wale Sikander Ka Desh Aaj Diwaliya Ho Geya!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Pankaja Munde, Smriti Irani, Sushma Swaraj aur Vasundhara Raje,...
Ek Baat Toh Nischit Ho Gayi Hai - Modi Ji Ki Kundli Mein "Aurat Sukh" Nahi Likha Hai!
NEWS AND POLITICS / HINGLISH
Since so many people tried out Yoga for the first time today...
22nd June is been declared as the "International Body Ache Day"
BREAKING NEWS:
Central govt. planning to promulgate an ordinance to ban newly-married from going abroad for Honeymoon.
Because Modi wants to promote "MAKE IN INDIA`!
NEWS AND POLITICS / FUNNY
Honesty in politics is much like oxygen.
The higher up you go, the scarcer it becomes!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Always felt there was something wrong with MAGGIE, having such a feminine name and getting ready in "two minutes"?
Highly suspicious
NEWS AND POLITICS
NSE and BSE held a meeting today...
Agenda
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To decide whether Nestle should be in Metal Index or FMCG.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Saala Daaru Toh Bas Naam Se Badnaam Hai,
Warna Kidney Kharab Toh Maggi Ne Bhi Ki Hai!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong!
NEWS AND POLITICS
The amount of Maggi Noodles we have eaten, if it really contained that much lead,
the men would be Natraj HB pencils by now and the ladies would have turned to Apsaras!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Unbelievable! Yesterday's Newshour was without Arnab Goswami.
That's like Maggi without lead!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sep Bhoop Singh was walking through a grave yard, some one tapped on his shoulder, but he ignored it.
Then some one caught his leg. He stopped and looked back, a hand had come out of the grave holding his leg and asking him
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"OROP" Aa Geya?
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking news:
Air Force Mirage lands on express way...
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Pilot shows I card at toll plaza for exemption, And in turn the toll guy says 'Yeh Nahi Chalega' "Three" wheeler Ka 75/- Lagega; 75. Then Pilot says 'Army' and he is allowed to pass.
Modi'sOneYearInOffice:
Indian tax payers shall have to work very hard for the next 4 years to support Modi's tours abroad!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Dear Earth,
Go to Settings -> Select Sound -> in Vibration option select No.
No More Earthquakes.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Irony:
Today the debate on Black Money Act is going on in Lok Sabha and at the same time Jayalalitha acquitted in black money case!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Mother's Day celebrations extended by another day.
Amma acquitted.
#JayaVerdict
NEWS AND POLITICS
After hearing Rahul for 3 hrs in a rally, all the farmers collected 100 each and gave to Sonia Gandhi, saying
"you should also be compensated... Fasal To Aapki Bhi Kharab Hui Hai!"
NEWS AND POLITICS
Flash News:
Narendra Modi might visit India this month.
NEWS AND POLITICS
#RahulReturns:
I want a job where my colleagues welcome me with fireworks after an unannounced and unexplained 56-day leave!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Height of Bhakti:
Modi was going from country to country to look for Rahul Gandhi!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Nehle Pe Dehla:
Modi: Kyon Bhai Kejri Free WiFi Kab Se Chalu Hoga?
Kejriwal: Bas Achhe Din Aate Hi!
NEWS AND POLITICS / HINGLISH
The only scenario left in Salman Khan's "Hit and Run Case" is where the victim will come and say -
"Forget it... actually, I committed suicide
OneDirectionSplit:
One Direction should now be called Two Directions!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Arvind Kejriwal probably resorted to horse trading because all he wanted was a stable government!
NEWS AND POLITICS
After beating UAE, oil prices were increased.
Thank God, Scotland is not in our pool.
Couldn't have handled increase in Scotch Whisky prices!
NEWS AND POLITICS / CRICKET / ALCOHOL
Hey Celina Jaitley... Nice budget by your father.
Regards
Alia Bhatt
Celina replies: Thanks Alia Bhatt! Had your grandfather(Arya Bhatt) not discovered zero,this budget would not have been possible!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Petrol and Diesel Price hiked by Rs 3.18 and 3.09 respectively.
It implies Modi ji's Naseeb/Luck is "Made in China"!
NEWS AND POLITICS
New trains after Railway Budget 2015:
Rajinikanth Express - Will stay where it is, while the stations keep coming to it.
Congress Express - Every bogey has a TT with years of experience, but the Driver of the Engine is on leave.
NaMo Express - Starts off at full speed but passengers (read RSS) keep pulling the chain every 5 minutes.
AAP Express - Always running full due to concessional ticket fare!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Good News : BJP in relationship with PDP.
Bad News : Will not talk about Article 370 as it reminds us of 3/70 in Delhi.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Poora UP Ab Dilli Border Par Milega... Udhar Laptop Free - Idhar WiFi!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Taaza Khabar:
Delhi Assembly Vich BJP Da Neta "Pugam Pugai" Naal Chuneya Jayega!
NEWS AND POLITICS / PINGLISH
Jhadoo Se Dhulai Hamesha Auratein Mardon Ki Karti Rahi Hain...
Pehli Baar Ulta Hua Hai!
Today's Sensex:
BJP stop loss hit
AAP on upper circuit
And Congress Scrip suspended from trading!
NEWS AND POLITICS
This is the best reaction yet to the Delhi election outcome:
3 - 0 - 67 - 0
Looks like Ishant Sharma's bowling figures.
NEWS AND POLITICS / CRICKET
Congress has kept it's words...
Na Support Lenge, Na Support Denge!
NEWS AND POLITICS
With vote share of 32.2%, BJP didn't even get pass marks!
NEWS AND POLITICS
BJP got fewer seats than the number of children they wanted women to have!
NEWS AND POLITICS
If one introspects, one would realise it's not Modi ji's fault. Maybe Obama's. He also campaigned in Delhi!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Exactly 24hrs since AAP won in Delhi Assembly polls, still no free WiFi, water. Kejriwal should resign!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Party at Delhi tonight.
Drinks: AAPsolute Vodka
Dress Code: Mufler
Non Drinkers will get Cough Syrup.
NEWS AND POLITICS
WIN WIN for all parties in Delhi.
AAP: Achieved what they wanted- The Govt.
BJP: Achieved what they wanted- Congress Mukt Delhi
CONG: Achieved what they wanted- to keep BJP out of power
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News: Congress announces outside support to AAP for Delhi Vidhan Sabha!
Mitt Romney is very inspirational. He inspired me to vote for Obama.
Tweet
NEWS AND POLITICS
Since IIT/IIM/AIIMS seats are also national resources, these should also be auctioned.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Gadkari episode:
The Congress always digs its own grave. But before it can go down, BJP quickly jumps into it.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Ajmal Kasab down with Dengue Fever
Dear Mosquito,
Dengue so much!
Regards Indians
NEWS AND POLITICS
Kasab has dengue. Even the Aedes mosquitoes are fed up of waiting for the law of our land to hang him. As a result, they've taken things in their hands.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Others may know how to buy real estate but only Vadra knows how to sell it.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Hurricane Sandy:
The US is regretting burying Osama bin Laden at sea. The guy simply refuses to stop.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Filthy rich people and politicians eat a "Banana Republic" for breakfast.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Superstorm Sandy:
In the Middle East, all storms are Sandy!
NEWS AND POLITICS
A sudden rush of Congress politicians was reported across the blood banks of Delhi on Saturday, looking to replace their own with young blood.
The Economic Times should consider awarding Gadkari's driver as the "Business Person of the Year"!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Average age of new UPA2 cabinet after "young blood" infusion is 65 yrs 1 month. Earlier, 65 yrs 8 month. Wow, what a huge difference!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sonia: You should be prepared for a bigger role.
Rahul: Bigger role? Why do you want me to do a bigger role when all UPA ministers are denying any role in everything that happens!
NEWS AND POLITICS
When you convert Rs.50 lakhs into Rs.300 crores, you are called Vadra. When you do the opposite, you are called Mallya. The difference is in chasing the right woman!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Titanic>Iceberg = Gandhis>Vadra
~ Chetan Bhagat
NEWS AND POLITICS
Congress to honour Salman Khurshid for minimizing corruption from lacs of crores to mere a few lacs.
Jaspal Bhatti
NEWS AND POLITICS
Chowmein behind rising rapes: Khap
Dabur soon to launch 'Chowmeinprash' in Haryana villages.
NEWS AND POLITICS
When one converts Rs 50 lakh into 5000 crore it is called Vadra. The other way round, it is a Kingfisher!
NEWS AND POLITICS
It's ironical that out of the 2 very well known Sikh faces, one is hated for talking too much (Navjot Singh Sidhu) and the other (Dr. Manmohan Singh) is hated for keeping silent all the time.
NEWS AND POLITICS
BJP is one of the first tech-savvy poltical party in the world. They started using the "RSS Feed" way before the internet was born.
The Law Minister wants to lay his life & Home Minister wants to take life for Sonia G. Hope they don't meet each other.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Some are born Gandhi.
Some are made Gandhis.
Some believe in Gandhigiri!
And some like me, have Gandhis thrust upon them.
Dr Manmohan Singh
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking news:
BJP to press for special session of Parliament; and then boycott it.
NEWS AND POLITICS
The only transparency we get in Indian media are the TOI see-through-top galleries.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Too much reform. I hope they don't attack the Indian embassy in Kolkatta.
NEWS AND POLITICS
HUMBLE REQUEST:
He has served us Beer when we were Sad & Happy.
Now he needs our help. Please save Vijay Mallya by adopting at least ONE Kingfisher Air Hostess!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Instead of arresting Aseem Trivedi, the Government should arrest some of the cartoons administering the country!
NEWS AND POLITICS
There is a good chance that India's debt may attain junk status by March next year!
NEWS AND POLITICS
A Congress minister can be any device as long as it runs on the 'Gandhi' Operating System.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Q: What's the favorite childhood game of Mayawati and Manmohan Singh?
A: 'Statue'! Maya crazy of building hers and MMS playing it.
The Congress would do much better party if Manmohan Singh speaks more and Digvijay Singh stays silent.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Manmohan Singh's term as PM would be remembered as the Golden Era since silence is golden!
NEWS AND POLITICS
What a lovely Combination!
A Hindu President;
A Muslim Vice President
A Sikh Prime Minister
A Christian Defence Minister
And an Italian REMOTE!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Dear MPs,
I pay my taxes so you guys go to work and not that you walk out of your office, whenever you please.
Yours sincerely,
Citizen of India.
NEWS AND POLITICS
All 3 finalists of "Indian Idol 6" are from Punjab
Devendra Pal
Vipul Mehta
Amit Kumar
I am proud to be a Punjabi!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Against Ashwin and Ojha, NZ batsmen are looking as clueless as CBI sleuths probing a corruption case against a politician.
NEWS AND POLITICS
If the government limits SMS, just because rumours are spreading; by the same logic, should we stop paying taxes because the money is being siphoned due to corruption?
NEWS AND POLITICS
Didn't they tell Sachin Tendulkar that the Rajya Sabha had been adjourned already? What was the unnecessary hurry to get out!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Kapil Sibal calls the net a platform where one can do as he pleases without any accountability. It sounds like the exact definition of 'politics'.
NEWS AND POLITICS
BJP behaves like Engineering College Students; They never leave any opportunity to indulge in mass bunk in Parliament.
Rajiv Shukla confuses the Parliament for IPL, walks in and fixes Rajya Sabha proceedings.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Rajya Sabha adjournment incident:
Rajiv Shukla to be the new brand ambassador of 'Whisper'.
NEWS AND POLITICS
IRCTC was the only website holding the North-East exodus in check.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Beni Prasad Verma says he's happy that prices are rising.
Wish he could say the same about his IQ.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Vanya Mishra(Miss India World),
We are proud of you. You're our Miss World 2012!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Bulk SMS ban: I yearn for the day when the Cabinet will flee the country based on threats spread randomly via SMS.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Bulk SMS banned for 15 days in India.
Now Dr Batra's hair will fall.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Gold medal for NASA in the 563 billion meters, for landing successfully on Mars.
NEWS AND POLITICS
LK Advani planning another Rath Yatra to amass support for his retirement.
NEWS AND POLITICS
What's common between the Indian Hockey team and our government.
They both are consistent non-performers.
Indian Army has given 1.2 billion of us VIJAY and a new "Vijay Diwas" in "Vijay Kumar"!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Power Grid Failure:
India is the first country to invent a time-machine. It was tested successfully for 2 days. The North Indians were the privileged ones to travel twice to "Dark Ages" and back.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Having a power cut in the office causes many problems - desktops, servers are down. But more importantly, the coffee machine isn't working!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Bangladeshi immigrants have threatened to immigrate to Bhutan if power cuts continue in India.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Why has the UPA government failed?
With no power, there's no responsibility.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Power Grid Failure:
Politicians are really good at "keeping us in the dark".
NEWS AND POLITICS
Failure to ELECT right representatives results in frequent ELECTricity failure!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Northern Power Grid failure:
The consortium of Google, Facebook and Twitter to finance the Indian government to provide electricity to its citizens. There's hardly anyone online and it is resulting in huge loss to their business.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Northern Power Grid Failure:
India is heading back to "Dark Ages".
NEWS AND POLITICS
Even the Northern Power Grid of India has started to behave like the government. Earlier erratic and now complete failure.
It's quite ironical that the state of Punjab ruled by Parkash Singh Badal has neither Parkash(light) nor Badal(clouds).
NEWS AND POLITICS
ND Tiwari's defence: I am not the father but only a donor!
NEWS AND POLITICS
What's common between a Board Test and DNA test?
The person subjected to test knows the results but hate its publication in the newspapers.
NEWS AND POLITICS
After ND Tiwari's DNA report, eunuchs have attacked Tiwari's house, asking for money with interest of 32 years.
NEWS AND POLITICS
ND Tiwari's DNA result ironically comes on "Happy Free Kiss Day"! The father-son should kiss and make up!
NEWS AND POLITICS
ND Tiwari's DNA matched and the he is going to sue the condom company for the damage.
NEWS AND POLITICS
The nurse came out with ND Tiwari's DNA report and screamed: "It's a dad!"
NEWS AND POLITICS
Pratibha Patil to leave Delhi soon for Pune - via Bali, Tahiti, Honolulu, Vancouver, Miami, St. Barts, Corfu & Dubai.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Can one file an RTI application to know if Mamta Banerjee & Trinamool Congress are still a part of UPA?
Q: What is Mamta Banerjee's favourite song?
A: I hate U(PA), like I love U(PA).
NEWS AND POLITICS
Mamta Banerjee to support Pranab as President:
Trinamool Congress to be renamed "U-Turnamool Congress".
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sherlyn Chopra should head Youth Congress.
It can invigorate the organization and revive the animal spirits Manmohan ji talked about.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News:
Rupee qualifies for the London Olympics. Category - Diving.
NEWS AND POLITICS
The Punjab Assembly has proposed to send a 50-member delegation to Thailand to study if we can export our stray dogs to China.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News:
Rupee qualifies for the London Olympics.
Category - Diving
NEWS AND POLITICS
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Abu Jundal arrested. So even Ajmal Kasab has a partner but not Leander Paes!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Why blame the Pak President? Indian names are so confusing:
Arnab and Pranab
Sonia and Sania
Surjeet and Sarabjeet
NEWS AND POLITICS
The Pakistani govt. should hire an Indian 'Spelling Bee' who has won some Spellathon, so that they may not confuse between Sarabjit & Surjeet!
Have you heard this new Pakistan announcement on Sarabjit? No, it's Surjeet. Sorry guys, the Pak President has short-term memory loss!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Some 'experts' believe that the bad Vaastu of rupee symbol caused its fall.
NEWS AND POLITICS
All the Presidential candidates should be put into "Rashtrapati Bhavan" & "Bigg Boss" should be held over the month! May the best win to be the President of India!
Tweet
NEWS AND POLITICS
The PM and President can be decided on a reality show. I have a name too. Indian Idle.
Chetan Bhagat
NEWS AND POLITICS
Big Ben to be named "Elizabeth Tower" in honour of diamond jubilee of the accession of Queen Elizabeth II to the thrones of seven countries.
Quite a sex change.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Headlines:
42% of Indian children underweight, PM calls it "A National Shame".
What about the 50% children & 80% adults who are overweight/obese. Is that "A National Pride"?
NEWS AND POLITICS
Nitin Gadkaris's touching Baba Ramdev's feet is an example that people bend in politics!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Before Nitin Gadkari touched Baba Ramdev's feet, he had to carefully remove them from Baba Ramdev's mouth.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Nitin Gadkari touched Baba Ramdev's feet, it seems. A refreshing change from Baba Ramdev touching Baba Ramdev's feet.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Irony of Bharat Bandh:
It was observed as a day to protest "Petrol price Hike". Almost everything was closed except for "Petrol Pumps
It's doubted that the "Bharat Bandh" will affect the petrol prices but empty roads would surely give good mileage & hence people would save some money!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Petrol Price Hike:
India has the world's cheapest car and the world's costliest petrol.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Siddharth Mallya says out of court settlement with the molestation victim wasn't financial in any way. Maybe they paid in Petrol.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Chennai Super Kings and Petrol both are trending on Twitter because nobody wants them to move up!
NEWS AND POLITICS
PJ's are now Petrol Jokes!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Petrol Price hike by Rs 7.5 per litre:
I'd originally set out to find cheap petrol, but I decided to keep my goals realistic.
NEWS AND POLITICS
"Mayawati spent Rs 86 crore renovating her residence"
'Social Engineering' followed by 'Civil Engineering'.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Ram to Laxman: Why is this dhobi behaving like social media? Sita is my personal matter
NEWS AND POLITICS
Airtel has made only Rs 1,006 in profits this quarter. Since A. Raja is in jail, common men must help them earn more profits.
NEWS AND POLITICS
If Sarojini Naidu is 'The Nightingale' of India, Mayawati is definitely 'The Angry Bird'.
Sachin's performance in the 1st match at Delhi after getting nominated as Rajya Sabha MP-pedestrian like other MPs.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Forget the Communists. Mamata will fight for a rollback and ensure Ganguly gets nominated to the Rajya Sabha.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sachin as Rajya Sabha MP:
A man is known by the company he keeps; but he is also known by the company he avoids.
NEWS AND POLITICS
It's an insult to Indian democracy that a person who has been auctioned is being chosen as a Rajya Sabha MP.
Tweet
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sachin after becoming RS MP "Congress similar to Mumbai Indians, it is also captained by a Sardar and owned by a woman."
Tweet
NEWS AND POLITICS
When Sachin attends Rajya Sabha proceedings, will Star Cricket or Rajya Sabha TV telecast the proceedings in the house?
NEWS AND POLITICS
So when people were saying 'God Save the Congress Now', they took it literally and nominated Sachin Tendulkar to Rajya Sabha
NEWS AND POLITICS
The epic Nirma Ad: "Hema, Rekha, Jaya aur Sushma..." was surely a brilliant futuristic ad by some Seer, keeping the Rajya Sabha in mind.
NEWS AND POLITICS
British MPs lost to Indian MPs at Dharamshala. With the induction of Sachin, British MPs would refuse to play Indian MPs in future.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Political parties were earlier using religion for their political gains. Now they use God(Sachin Tendulkar) himself.
Why is Sachin Tendulkar nominated to the Rajya Sabha?
Bcoz that's the only way to make him quit International Cricket gracefully.
NEWS AND POLITICS
How'll Sachin play in Rajya Sabha?
There the MPs only bowl No Balls, Wides, Googly, Yorkers, Bouncers & Doosras!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sachin Tendulkar nominated as Rajya Sabha MP to increase the TRP of Rajya Sabha TV.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar was loved by all when he was a Cricketer. And now suddenly, he becomes a politician.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Sachin's visit to Sonia proves even God can be bought if the price is right.
Tweet
NEWS AND POLITICS
Can God(Sachin Tendulkar) be nominated to the Rajya Sabha in a secular State?
NEWS AND POLITICS
In a rather strange development, the ministers involved in the 'Toilet Scam' are reporting severe diarrhea instead of the usual chest pain.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam: U P(ee) or you dump, there is no holding back spams & scams!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam: Here is the finest crap ever seen!
NEWS AND POLITICS
###Toilet Scam: ##SHIT HAPPENS ##but more ##importantly ##SHIT ##MATTERS###
To all those complaining about the Toilet Scam:
Remember this is India, shit happens!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam: Now you know why UP Assembly members don't agree to pass the motion at all.
NEWS AND POLITICS
With all the shit our political leaders comes up with, there was bound to be a Toilet Scam to dispose it off.
NEWS AND POLITICS
The Toilet Scam happened because the previous UP Governments forgot to flush their 'Shit'. Now it shall be a subject of 'Poopganda' for the opposition.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam: This is Netas defecating in public!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam: This scam stinks!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam in UP:
2900 Crore Tax money down the drain!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Now a Toilet Scam:
Let's hope the scams get flushed out from our corrupt system!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam:
Whose shit is it any way?
25% SC/ST, 9% OBC, 10% Minorities, 56% Rest. Should it be given a communal/casteist twist!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Scam in UP:
Govt reply: We want them to feel to close to nature...
Now 'Toilet Scam': This one really stinks!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Scams come full circle: It started with the 'Fodder Scam' of Laloo and ends with the 'Toilet Scam'!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Toilet Humour is at its best in 'Toilet Scam' of Rs 2,900 crore on the web!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Who's taking up the 'Harpic' challenge for this 'Toilet Scam'?
NEWS AND POLITICS
First there was a CAM in toilet and now there is a SCAM in toilet.
NEWS AND POLITICS
"How many Mamata Banerjees can you fit in a Nano?"
"Two in the front, two in the back, and you on the roof cause you're heading to jail."
NEWS AND POLITICS
"Mamata Banerjee, Manmohan Singh and Dinesh Trivedi walk into a bar. What happens next?"
"You go to jail."
NEWS AND POLITICS
"How many Mamata Banerjees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
"Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and the other to send you to jail."
NEWS AND POLITICS
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mamata." "Mamata who?"
"Mamata Banerjee and I'm putting you in jail."
NEWS AND POLITICS
"Why did Mamata Banerjee cross the road?"
"To walk you to jail."
What is the similarity between a politician and a mosquito?
You can kill both of them with a newspaper.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Arnold Palmer Invitational: Tiger Woods is back from the Woods to the Fairways and Greens!
NEWS AND POLITICS
At the current rate, India shall run out of Gates to throw out corruption.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Today's Scam: Army Chief offered 14 Cr bribe;
Friday: Coalgate;
Thursday: Porngate;
That's almost a scam a day by scums, for every weekday.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News: "Army Chief Offered 14 Crore Bribe"
Politicians lobbying to become next Army Chief.
NEWS AND POLITICS
If Army Chief was serious about acting against corruption, he should have informed Rakhi Sawant instead of reporting it to AK Antony.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Army chief offered Rs. 14-Crore bribe? Wow! This should be on the hoardings that advertise army as a career.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Army Chief was offered bribe. He informed government about this. Government said, "Don't worry, we'll take care of the bribe."
NEWS AND POLITICS
Good thing we invented zero; otherwise scams like Coalgate worth Rs. 10,700,000,000,000 would not have been possible.
NEWS AND POLITICS
99% of politicians recommend Coalgate.
Dhanush knew about the scam far earlier. That is why he sang Kolaveri Kolaveri Di...
NEWS AND POLITICS
Congress chaps are into Coalgate , while BJP fellows are watching Close Ups!
NEWS AND POLITICS
A Porngate which involves dark skinned people is Coalgate!
NEWS AND POLITICS
No two people are the same. But Porngate and Coalgate has proved beyond doubt that all politicians are the same.
NEWS AND POLITICS
When it is said frequently that politicians are more open to the use of technology, they imply watching porn in Assembly on tablets.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News: Sunny Leone caught watching Lok Sabha TV!
NEWS AND POLITICS
This Coalgate seems to be sponsored by Colgate to increase its toothpaste and shaving products demand.
NEWS AND POLITICS
After Internet Explorer, Bill Gates launches new version of browser known as Gates. It's very fast for watching videos but it gets corrupted easily.
NEWS AND POLITICS
BJP MLAs teach us how to respect our culture and heritage. We must respect Kamasutra and preserve Khajuraho temple's glory!
NEWS AND POLITICS
Poonam Pandey and Sunny Leone seem to have a bright future in BJP. It's high time they quit Bollywood and enter Indian politics.
Indian wives do not let even powerful husbands like these BJP MLAs watch anything in peace at home.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Just another day in Assembly - Ministers sit back and watch as people get screwed.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Lalit Modi bankrupt. Government corrupt. Assembly MLAs 'erupt'.
NEWS AND POLITICS
With party MLAs ##proclivities coming into the open, ##Sushma Swaraj will have to rethink ##before dancing in front of the party men.
NEWS AND POLITICS
Breaking News: BJP MLAs were ##watching### repeat telecast of "##Bade## Achhe ##Lagte ##Hain".
Perfect Marriage Material
Pappu is 33 years old and still single. One day, a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Pappu replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution. Just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later, they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Pappu answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Pappu replied, "Now my father doesn't like her."
PAPPU
Pappu Jokes
Pappu Bazaar Gaya. Wahan Use Papa Ke Ek Purane Dost Mil Gaye.
Uncle: Pappu Beta, Kaise Ho ?
Pappu: Ji, Badhiya ..........
Uncle: Aur Papa ?
Pappu: Ji Vo Bhi Badhiya.....
Uncle: Bhai ?
Pappu: Vo Bhi Theek Hai.....
Uncle: Studies?
Pappu: Vo Bhi Theek Chal Rahi Hai.
Uncle: Aur Sunaao Pappu Beta, Kya Chal Raha Hai ?
Pappu: Bematalab Ke Sawaal Jawaab.....!
Teacher: A B C D Sunao..
Pappu: A B C D...
Teacher: Aur Sunao??
Pappu: Sab Theek Hai Mam ji, Aap Sunao... Kya Chal Raha Hai Aajkal...?
English Teacher: Wo Larki Sab Larkon Se Hans Kar Bat Krti Hai. Batao Is Sentence Mein Larki Kya Hai ? Pappu: Sir! Larki Chaalu Hai...!!!
Teacher: Pappu, Iski English MEin Translate Karo: Larkiyan Yahan Se Guzar Chuki Hain.
Pappu: Oh Shit! I Am Late...
PAPPU
My Computer!!!
Pappu rings a call centre and complaining about his Internet.
Pappu: My internet is not working properly.
Officer: Ok, Double click on "My computer"
Pappu: I can't see your computer.
Officer: No no, click on "My computer" on your computer.
Pappu: How can I click on your computer from my computer?
Officer: Listen, There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer. Ok double click on it.
Pappu: What the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?
Officer: Double click on your computer.
Pappu: On which Icon I've to click.
Officer: My Computer.
Pappu: Oh you fool......
Tell me where is your office. I'll come there and click on your "Computer."?
PAPPU
A Dinner Date
Pappu met up with his close friend Bunty and told him that he had just met the girl of his dreams. He asked Bunty for advise on how he should proceed!
The wise and experienced man of the world, Bunty said, "Well, send her roses, and on the name card invite her for a home-cooked meal."
Pappu liked the idea, so he followed Bunty's advice and invited the woman. Next day after the dinner Bunty called Pappu and asked him how did the home-cooked dinner go.
Pappu cried, "It was a complete flop."
Bunty asked, "Why? Didn't the girl come to your house?"
Pappu replied, "She came, but she refused to cook and left angrily!"
Legal and Logical
Pappu failed in the final Law Exam & decided to make a deal with the Professor.
Pappu: Sir, Can I ask you one question?
Professor: Yes.
Pappu: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you cant, you will have to give me an "A" grading.
Professor agreed.
Pappu asked: What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give The student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
The following day, Professor asked same question to his students. He was shocked when all of them raised their hands......
He asked one student. He answered:
Sir, you are 65, married to a 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal
PAPPU
Simple Addition
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Seven Sir.
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Seven.
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits, and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Pappu: Seven!
Teacher: Where do you get seven from?
Pappu: Because I've already got one at home.
PAPPU
Pappu at His Best
Principal: School Ka time 8 baje Ka Hai Aur Tum 9 Baje Aa Rahe Ho?
Pappu: Sir Aap Na Mera Intezar Na Kiya Karo, Apne Time Se School Shuru Kar diya Karo.
Santa: Oyee ! Tumne Apni Sagai Kyun Tod Di ??
Pappu: Papa, Uska Koi Boyfriend Nahin Tha.
Santa: To Phir Problem Kya Hai ?
Pappu: Jo Aaj Tak Kisi Ki Nahin Ho Saki Wo Meri kya Hogi.
Pappu Apni Gali Ke Ek Dukandar Se: Uncle Rang Gora Karne Waali Cream Hai???
Dukandar: Haan Hai.
Pappu: Toh Lagate Kyun Nahi, Main Roz Aapki Shakal Dekhkar Darr Jata Hun?
Pappu: Daadi Neend nahi Aa Rahi. Hum Kuc Baate Karein?
Daadi: Theek Hai.
Pappu: Daadi Kya Hum Hamesha 5 Hi Rahenge? Aap, Mom, Dad,Main aur Behen.
Daadi: Nahi Beta aapki shaadi Ho Jayegi Toh 6 Ho Jayenge.
Pappu: Fir Behen Chali Jayegi Shaadi Karke Toh Phir 5 Ho Jayenge.
Daadi: Beta Phir Aapka Beta Ho Jayega Toh 6 Ho Jayenge.
Pappu: Phir Aap Mar Jaaogi Toh Hum Wapas 5 Ho Jayenge.
Daadi: Kaminne, Kutte, Haramkhor... Soja Chup Chaap.
PAPPU
Exactly like The MOON
One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class.
Professor: What kind of Wife would you like Pappu?
Pappu: I would want a wife like the moon.
Professor: Wow !!! What a choice... So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon?
Pappu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Round and white?
Pappu: No, no...
Professor: Oh, so you want her to be Fair and Beautiful like the moon?
Pappu: No, no... I want her to be Exactly like The MOON. Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning.
Professor fainted...
Strawberry Farm
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of manure.
A little boy, Pappu, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Manure," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked Pappu.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," Pappu advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
PAPPU
Empty Head!
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Pappu shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
PAPPU
A Red Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Pappu, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Pappu replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
PAPPU
Pappu's Honesty
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found by Pappu and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny and strange. When I lost my bag there was a 500 rupee note in it. Now there are ten 50 rupee notes."
Pappu quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Focus Hard!
Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?
Pappu: Amritsar.
Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.
Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Banto?
Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do ##you ##ask ?
##Pappu#######Teacher, you need to Focus more on your ##husband###
टिप्पणियाँ
एक टिप्पणी भेजें