सीधे मुख्य सामग्री पर जाएं
- Bunty to his teacher: Pappu hit me with a can of soda.
- Teacher: Pappu, could you please explain it?
- Pappu: It's just a soft drin~k!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Maa Aaj Dal Khane Ka Mann Ho Raha Hai!
- Jeeto: Itne Paise Nahi Hai Chup Chap Butter Chicken Kha Le!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: What do you know about Ramayan and Mahabharat?
- Pappu: Both were great TV shows ma~de by Ramanand Sagar and B.R.Chopra!
- ..........................................................
- Aunty: Beta Tum Kya Karte Ho?
- Pappu: I make News reach it's target audience.
- Aunty: News Repo~rter Ho?
- Pappu: Nahi, Akhbaar Fekta Hu!
- ..........................................................
- Uncle: Beta Kya Karte Ho?
- Pappu: Uncle Babu Hun
- Uncle: Achha Beta Clerk Ho
- Pappu: Nahi Uncle... Aapki Beti Ka, Woh Hamesha Mujhe Kehti Hai 'Mela Babu'!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu commented on a girl's DP
- Pappu: Your DP is awesome!
- Girl: Awwww... Thank you.
- Pappu: Mujhe Bhi Sikha Do Aise Hi Photoshop Karna!
- ..........................................................
- PHD holders are applying for peon~ jobs in UP!
- Aur Hamari Mummy Aise Hi Bolte Rehti Hai Ki Padhoge Likhoge To Banoge Nawab!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Dude, me and my~ girlfriend are getting married.
- Bunty: Wow! When?
- Pappu: Me next month and she may be after that.
- ..........................................................
- Maths Teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other. What do I have?
- Pappu: A drinking problem, obviously!
- ..........................................................
- School Mein Admission Ke Liye Interview: Teacher: Beta Aapke Papa Kya Karte Hain? Pappu: Jo Mum~my Bolti Hai!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: 5 Mein Se 5 Ghatane Par Kitne Bachenge?
- Pappu: Pata Nahi Madam?
- Teacher: Aggar Tere Paas 5 Bhature Hein Aur Mein 5 Bhature Tujhse Le Lu To Tere Paas Kya Bachega?
- Pappu: Chole!!!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Batao Date Aur Ta~arikh Mein Kya Anter Hai?
- Pappu: Ji Madam, Date Par Delhi, Mumbai, Chandigarh Ke Ladke Jate Hain Aur Taarikh Par Ghaziabad, Meerut, Muzaffarnagar Ke Ladke Jaate Hain!!!
- ..........................................................
- Santa: Beta 5 Ke Baad Kya Aata Hai?
- ..........................................................
- Santa: Wah Mera Beta Toh Bada Hoshiyar Hai, Aur 6,7 Ke Baad Kya Aata Hai?
- ..........................................................
- Santa: Kya Baat Hai Beta Aur Uske Baad?
- Pappu: Ghulam, Begum, Baadshah...!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Bat~ao Semester System Se Kya Fayda Hai?
- Pappu: Fayda Toh Pata Nahin, Par Bezati Saal Mein 2 Baar Ho Jati Hai..!
- ..........................................................
- Mom: Beta Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
- Pappu: Padh Ra~ha Hun.
- Maa: Excellent! Kya Padh Rahe Ho?
- Pappu: Aap Ki Hone Wali Bahu Ke Messages!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Hindi Mein Anuwad Karo,
- "There was a fine line be~tween Amitabh & Jaya."
- Pappu: Amitabh Aur Jaya Ke Beech Ek Mast Rekha Thi!
- ..........................................................
- An English teacher asked students to write an essay on My Teacher. After some time, Pappu stands up and asked,
- "Madam Ji, Niri Agg Nu English Vich Ki Kehnde Ne?"
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Can you please tell the class why you're so late?
- Pappu: Someone to~ld me to go to hell.
- Teacher: So?
- Pappu: Couldn't find it at first. But now I'm here!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I am sick, Coach. The doctor says I can't play Football.
- Coach: I don't need a doctor to tell me that!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: A car smashed into my bicycle, and I didn't even get a scratch.
- Bunty: How's that possible?
- Pappu: My sister, Pinky was riding it!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: ~What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
- Pappu: Finding half a worm!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Dad, please make an international call to my friend from Aberystwyth, Wales.
- Santa: How do you know him?
- Pappu: He came to our school in student exchange.
- Santa: Could ~you spell that please?
- Pappu: If I could spell to, I'd write!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Teacher! Teacher! Bunty swallowed two 5 rupee coins.
- Teacher: Now, why~ wo~uld he do that?
- Pappu: It was his lunch money!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I can tell the future.
- Bunty: Really?
- Pappu: Yes. I ~can tell you what the score of a Tennis game is before it even starts.
- Bunty: What is it?
- Pappu: Love all!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Wh~y are the "Middle Ages" sometimes called the "Dark Ages"?
- Pappu: Because there were so many Knights!
- ..........................................................
- Bunty: Mirrors don't lie.
- Pappu: And lucky for you, they don't laugh either!
- ..........................................................
- Girlfriend: And when we're married, darling, we'll have a nice little house right near mother, so she can drop in any time.
- Pappu: You bet. We'll get one right by the river!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Bunty has 42 candy bars. He eats 2. What does Bunty have now?
- Pappu: For sure, Diabetes!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu and Pinky were arguing over the breakfast table. "You're so stupid", said Pappu.
- Santa: That's enough! Pappu, say sorry to Pinky.
- Pappu: I'm sorry, you're so stupid!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I don't think I deserved zero on this test.
- Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Please get well soon!
- Bunty: Who are you talking to? I don't see anyone around.
- Pappu: I am talking to my 'Gr~ades'!
- ..........................................................
- Girlfriend: Any plans ~for 14 Feb?
- Pappu: 14 Ko Jaldi Sounga, 15 Ko India-Pakistan Match Hai Na...
- Girlfriend: Tu Single Hi Marega, Kutte!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher to Pappu: What is number seven, Even or Odd?
- Pappu: Even.
- Teacher: How can yo~u make seven even?
- Pappu: Remove the S!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Hindi Mein Anuvad Karo - There was a fine line between Amitabh and Jaya.
- Pappu: Amitab~h Aur Jaya Ke Beech Ek Mast Rekha Thi!
- ..........................................................
- After an emotional hug:
- Girl: Sweetie, one more hug like that and I'll be yours forever.
- Pappu: Thanks for the warning!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I'm through with that girl.
- Bunty: Oh, why?
- Pappu: She asked me if I danced.
- Bunty: Well, what's w~rong with that?
- Pappu: I was dancing with her when she asked me.
- ..........................................................
- Santa: Why are you always at the bottom of your class?
- Pappu: It doesn't make any difference. They teach the same thing at both ends!
- ..........................................................
- Music Teacher: What's yo~ur favourite musical instrument?
- Pappu: The Lunch Bell!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher to Pappu: What is pie by 4 quarter amplitude phase modulation?
- Pappu: ~Bimbak Alak Chik Dadi Bamba
- Teacher: Didn't get you.
- Pappu: Same here babes... same here!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Mom, m~ay I have a 5/- Rupee coin for the old man who is crying outside?
- Jeeto: Yes, dear, but what is the old man cryi~ng about?
- Pappu: He's crying, "Salty peanuts, 5/- Rupee a bag!"
- ..........................................................
- During a text message conversation:
- Pappu: I love you.
- Girl: Iloveyoutoo.
- Pappu: Something wrong with your space bar?
- Girl: No, there's just no space for me to love anyone else!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: What does a chicken gives you?
- Bunty: Eggs.
- Teacher: Very good! Now what ~does a pig gives you?
- Raju: Bacon!
- Teacher: Great! And what does a fat cow gives you?
- Pappu: Homework!
- ..........................................................
- Chemistry Teacher: Wh~at happens when Potassium Iodide is mixed with 2 parts of Sulfur?
- Pappu: Kiss
- Teacher: How?
- Pappu: KI+2S = Kiss
- ..........................................................
- Santa to Pappu (who was eating a guava): Look out for the worms.
- Pappu: When I eat guava, the worm~s have to look out for themselves!
- ..........................................................
- "You cannot get eggs without hens", said the teacher stressing the point.
- Pappu: M'~am, my dad can.
- Teacher: Please explain yourself.
- Pappu: He keeps ducks!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Say, mother, how much am I worth?
- Jeeto: You're worth more than crores to me, dear. But why are you asking?
- Pappu: Well, then, could you advance me 100 bucks?
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Pappu, why are you scratching yourself?
- Pappu: No one else knows where I itch!
- ..........................................................
- Santa: If you are good, Pappu, I'll give you this bright new 500 rupee note.
- Pappu: Haven't you got a dirty old 1000 rupee note?
- ..........................................................
- Banta inquiring about Pappu's maternal Uncle was told that he was very sick.
- Banta replied,"Oh, he only thin~ks he's sick."
- He met Pappu after several days and again inquired about his Uncle. Pappu replied, "He thinks he's dead!"
- ..........................................................
- Pappu (calling father at office): Hello, who is this?
- Santa (recognizing son's voice): The smartest man in the world.
- Pappu: Pardon me, I got the~ wrong number!
- ..........................................................
- Pinky: What are you running for, Pappu?
- Pappu: I'm trying ~to keep two fellas from fighting.
- Pinky: Who are the fellows?
- Pappu: Bunty and me!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: My girlfriend broke up with me and sent me her pictures with her new boyfriend.
- Bunty: Really bad, What did you do?
- Pappu: I sent it to her Dad!
- ..........................................................
- Preeto: Pappu, how is your little sister, Pinky?
- Pappu: Sick and bed-ridden. She hurt herself.
- Preeto: That's too bad. How did she do it?
- Pappu: We were playing who could lean furthest out of the window, and she won!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu to Bunty: I'm not scared of proposing a girl.
- Bunty: Then what's the problem?
- Pappu: I'm scared about what would happen if she agrees!
- ..........................................................
- Chemistry Teacher: Wh~at happens when Potassium Iodide is mixed with Sulphur?
- Pappu: Kiss.
- Teacher: How?
- Pappu: KI+2S = Kiss!
- ..........................................................
- A Principal on a round asked Bunty, "What are you doing outside the classroom?"
- Bunty: No~thing, Sir!
- Principal: What's your name?
- Bunty: Bunty, Sir!
- Pappu: And who's this with you?
- Bunty: Pappu, Sir!
- Principal: And~ Pappu, what are you doing?
- Pappu: Helping Bunty, Sir!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu in Bio Practical Exam.
- Examiner: See the bird's leg and tell name?
- Pappu I do~n't know.
- Examiner: You have failed. What's your name?
- Pappu: See my legs!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Dad, what made you marry Mummy?
- Santa: So you're beginning to wonder, too!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu during the Maths examination to his Teacher: Sir, what's the date today?
- Teacher: N~ever mind the date. ~The exam answers are more important.
- Pappu: Well Sir, I wanted to have something right on my paper!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu to his sister, Pinky: I cried today when I failed in 2 subjects.
- Pinky: But you seem to be very happy now.
- Pappu: Yes, I learnt my friend, Bunty failed in 5 subjects!
- ..........................................................
- A biology teacher was dissecting a frog. Having explained the inner features of the amphibians, he asked his students, "What would ~you expect to find if you dis~sected a human beings?"
- Pappu, a bright lad replied, "Sir I would expect to find myself behind bars!"
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: How do you spell Czechoslovakia?
- Pappu: You never do that. You simply copy paste!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: When I proposed to Guddi, she asked me for a little time to make up her mind.
- Rani (the hated~ rival): Oh! so she makes that up too, does she?
- ..........................................................
- Pappu was perplexed by a question in the examination.
- Q: What are 'gills'?
- Pappu tried hard to re~member but in vain. Then he asked Bunty sitting behind him.
- Bunty: They have some connection with fish.
- Pappu's eyes lit up and he wrote... GI~LLS are found in Punjab and generally in Ludhiana. They're very found of alcohol which they enjoy everyday with 'Fried Fish'!
- ..........................................................
- "Pappu Pappu"
- "Yes Papa"
- "Watching movies?"
- "No Papa"
- "Watchi~ng videos?!"
- "No Papa"
- "Show me Browser History"
- "Ha Ha Ha!"
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I picked up my girlfriend from the police station. She'd been mugged, raped and beaten up.
- Bunty: It's pretty sad.
- Pappu: But I fail t~o understand, why she went to the Police Station in the first place!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Correct the sentence, 'A bull and a cow is grazing in the field'.
- Pappu: ~A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
- Teacher: How?
- Pappu: Ladies first!
- ..........................................................
-
- Teacher: Draw a diagram of bacteria.
- Pappu: Here it is, Sir.
- Teacher: Where? Yo~u haven't drawn anything.
- Pappu: Sir, you won't be able to see bacteria without a microscope!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Pappu, why are you talking during my lesson?
- Pappu: Ma'm, I never com~plain to your teaching during my conversation?
- ..........................................................
- In IIT exam, Pappu writing a test.
- Prove Sin x = 6n
- Pappu cancelled 'n' from both the sides.
- Thus: Six = 6
- He finally wrote a no~te: Please try to maintain the standards of IIT!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu left~ the examination Hall within 15 minutes.
- Examiner: What happened? You don't know the answers?
- Pappu: No No. Nothing like that. It's that I have to prepare for the next Exam!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher to Pappu: What is number Seven, Even or Odd?
- Pappu: Even.
- Teacher: How can you make seven even?
- Pappu: Remove the 'S'!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: What is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?
- Pappu: Jimbalakadi Bambalu.
- Teacher: What? Sorry, I didn't understand you?
- Pappu:: Same here, Sir!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Pappu, why are you scratching yourself?
- Pappu: Nobody else knows where I itch!
- ..........................................................
- Bunty: I want to do something big and clean in life.
- Pappu: Wash a~n elephant!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: What's two plus three?
- Pappu: : Five.
- Teacher: Good.
- Pappu: Good? Ma'm, it's perfect!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu to B~unty: I often pause and wonder at fate's peculiar ways.
- Bunty: Wonder what?
- Pappu: For nearly all famous men were born on holidays!
- ..........................................................
- Maths teacher to Pappu: If you have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do you have?
- Pappu: I dunno... but a drinking problem maybe!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher to half-asleep Pappu in class, "Who invented Steam Engine?"
- Pappu: What Sir?
- Teacher: Very good. It's correct. James Watt, it is.
- Moral: Sleeping improves your General Knowledge!
- ..........................................................
- Girl: Why do you follow me all the time?
- Pappu: Well... when I was kid, my parents always used to say "Keep following your dreams until you get them"!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher to Pappu: How much is 1+1?
- Pappu: Happy Hours!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Pappu, what do you want to be when you grow up?
- Pappu: A good professional Manager.
- Teacher: Good. But yo~u must start working towards it.
- Pappu: Ma'm, I already have... by studying late for Exams as it teaches me to manage Time and tackle Emergencies!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a class on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
- Pappu: No Sir, I ~will not be able to attend it.
- Teacher: Why?
- Pappu: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I used to see this girl who lived across the road.
- Bunty: So what happened now?
- Pappu: Now, she keeps her curtains drawn!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: I am finished with my girlfriend.
- Bunty: But why?
- Pappu: She's cross-eyed and she was seeing someone else!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Mom, thanks a lot.
- Jeeto: What for?
- Pappu: I'm glad you ~named me 'Pappu' because everybody calls me that!
- ..........................................................
- Teacher: What is Electricity?
- .
- .
- .
- .
- Pappu: Electricity is the daughter of the Punjab Govt. and has an extremely loose character. She goes and comes an~ytime, anywhere without informing anyone, and quite occasionally even at midnight!
- ..........................................................
- Jeeto: What did your father say when you smashed the new car.
- Pappu: Shall I leave out the swear words?
- Jeeto: Yes, of course.
- Pappu: He did not say a word!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: Both 'Happy' and 'Lucky' proposed to Guddi.
- Bunty: I wonder w~ho's the lucky one?
- Pappu: It's too soon to say yet, but she accepted 'Happy'!
- ..........................................................
- Pappu: My teache~r is really crazy.
- Pinky: What did she do?
- Pappu: She keeps talking to her imaginary friend named 'Class'!
टिप्पणियाँ
एक टिप्पणी भेजें