- Wife : wheneve~r we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
- I don’t know what to do?
- .
- .
- .
- .
- Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
- .....................................................................
- Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
- kahan se~ aaya?
- Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
- Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi.
- .....................................................................
- Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
- “Beta tum bahut p~adhoge”
- Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
- ye bata paas kab hounga???
- ~
- .....................................................................
- 1 boy on his way 2 home with his mom after school,
- saw a couple kissing~ on the road…
- He suddenly shou~ted and said look mom
- they are fighting for CHEWING GUM.
- .....................................................................
- At bus stop a girl was standing
- with her face cov~ered. A man on bike stops
- and says “Chalna hai kya?”
- Girl replies : Papa mein hoon.
- .....................................................................
- Raat ke 3 baje santa ke number par phone
- aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
- Santa : Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
- hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?
- Santa : Aaj papa ne pitayi kar di
- Banta : Kyun?
- Santa : Meine to sirf itna pucha “KAMINE” film
- dekhne chal rahe ho ya ghar pe hi “BLUE” film dekhoge
- .....................................................................
- Girls of 1995– “Agar tum mil jao zamana chor denge hum”
- Girls of 2012– “Agra tum mil jao purana chor denge hum!”
- Husband and Wife had a Fight.
- Wife called Mom : He fought with me again,
- I am coming to you.
- Mom : No beta, he must pay for his mistake,
- I am comming to stay with U!
- Modern Majnu– Mein tumhare ishq me barbaad ho gai, lut gayi, meri duniya rushwa ho gayi…
- Modern Laila– To karmjal~i, mein kaun sa bank managar ban gaya
- Santa found cigarette in daughter’s room “Ohh God! She smokes?”
- Then she found wine, “~O God! She drinks?” Then he saw boy,
- “Thank God@ To ye sab ess boy ka hai”
- Nepali : Saab ye shaam singh ka mobile kaha milega
- Salesman : Pata nahi
- Nepali : Saab ji TV me ad to isi dukan ka hai.
- Salesman : Abey ye sham singh nahi, SAMSUNG hai!!
- Stadium Indian Pakistan cricket match chal raha tha
- 1 Gorgeous ladki ne hoto par “India” ke tirange
- ka
- tattoo laga rakha tha Ek ladka aaya aur hoto
- par “kiss” kar gaya aur bola, “I LOVE MY INDIA”
- Har gum ko pala nai jata,
- Kanch ki chi~zo ko uchala nai jata,
- Kuch karna hi to mehnat karo yaro,
- Har baat ko “All is WELL” bolke tala nahi jata!
- Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
- Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
- maza aata!!!
- Doctor ne udaas hokar kaha- Aapki Biwi ab sirf do dino ki mehman hai.
- I’m so sorry…
- Santa: Isme sorry ki koi baat hai Dr. Saab.
- Nikaal lenge ye do din bhi jaise-taise…
- Aage to moaj masti me jeena hai..Jeevan ras peena.. hai
- Umar ki raah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
- Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
- Sochta hoon kaam kar kar ke Record tod dun,
- Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai.....latest jobs salary jokes
- Mom: Sofa letne ke liye nahi hota baithne ke liye hota hai
- Son: Ha toh Chappal bhi maarne k liye nahi pehen ne ke liye hoti hai..
- Ek chappl aur padi..
- latest sms jokes -Girl: Papa ek jaruri baat karni thi.
- Papa: Bolo beta
- Girl: Mai ek ladke se pyaar karti hoon aur woh America mein rehta hai
- Papa: Lekin tu~m is se kaha mili
- Girl: Google+ par hamari mulakaat hui
- FACEBOOK par hum Friends bane
- Gtalk par usne mujhe "I love you" kaha
- aur WHATSAPP par humne 3 mahino tak pyaar kiya.
- Papa : Ohh!! R~eally..
- Toh ab TWITTER mein shaadi karlo
- MAKE MY TRIP se honeymoon mana lo
- FLIPKART se bache mangwalo
- GMAIL se recieve karlo
- Aur finally agar pati pasand nahi aaye toh ..
- OLX be bech dalo!!!!!!!
- Dont laugh alone, pass it on..
- Kaal ek relative ke ghar jaana hai
- samgh nahi aa raha hai sweets lekar jau ya payaaj
- Seriously First time in Indian History
- Latest funny ev~ent occoured Friends...
- Perrol is cheaper then Onions in India
- Petrol Payaaj se sastaa ho gaya...
- Majburiya hoti hai sirf mahaan logo ke Jeevan Mein
- Nahi to Ram Vanvaas Mein
- Krishna karaavaas Mein
- aur
- Mai office Mein kyo baithta...
- Pyar mein kabhi kabhi aisa ho jaata hai
- girlfriend ne~ shaadi se enkaar kaar diya
- Socha dil diya hai aab jaan bhi denge sanam
- pr kamine dosto ne daru pilaa ke usi ke baaraat me
- nchwaa diya...
- New teacher joined in d school
- Teacher- boys tell your names nd hobbies
- 1st boy- My n~ame is Raj. My hobby is watching Moon .
- 2nd boy- My name is Ranjeet. And my hobby is watching Moon .
- 3rd boy- My name is Ravi & hobby is watching Moon .
- Teacher- wow nice nice
- Everyones hobbies are same Ok
- Now girls turn...
- 1st girl- Hello mam my name is moon
- Teacher shocked....Boys rocked
- 2 cockroach ICU me
- Ek dusre ke bagal me bed par jkhmi halat me admit the
- Ek ne du~sre se poocha- Hit or chappal
- Dusre ne jabab diya nahi yaar
- Ye ladkiya bhi dekh kaar etti chillati hai..
- ki heart attack aa gaya...
- Teacher- "I love you" ka aaviskaar kis desh me huwa tha??
- Boys- China
- Teacher-hw?
- Boys-~esme saare chinese gun hai
- na kaoi gaaranty naa koi warranty
- Chale to Chand tak na chale to shaam tak
- The world is here at, Sh@rd@ University..
- Where r u??
- At a better university.
- Bus running,
- Jhatka laga,
- 1 ladka 1 ladki pe ja gira
- Ladki b~oli batameez;
- Kya kar rahe ho…?
- Ladka bola…
- University se B.A kar raha hoon. !!
- Gaon mai bijli ~aayegi sun kar logo ke saath kutte bhi
- khush hue. Bole, "bijli aayegi toh khumba bhi lagega"
- .......................................................................................
- One hand on pen, other on phone, One ear on lecture,
- other o~n gossip, One eye on board, other on Girlfriend,
- Which Ass says student life is easy?
- We are very busy..!!!
- Ek student ki aakhri khwaish – Mujhe jala dena
- ya dafna dena, maru to 1 ghoot beer pila dena,
- mein tajmahal nahi chahta dosto, meri kabr
- par girls hostel bana dena!!
- Apne Fair hone~ par itna guroor na karo, Sab do din ki masti hai..
- Aapki khubsurti bhi tab tak hai, jab tak FAIR & LOVELY sasti hai…
- Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
- Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin
- phone without receiver!.............short jokes
- Santa : Yar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer k lye.
- Sales man : Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
- Santa : Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows XP install karna hai!
- Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?
- Mummy : Issme pya~ra sa Baby hai.
- Baccha : Itna pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?
- Golu: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.
- Shopkeper: Lekin t~umhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.
- Golu : Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de!!
- Ali ke 4 baache hue, naam rakhe Yusuf Ali,
- Altaf Ali, Irfan Ali, Asif Ali,
- Fir 5va or 6va bacha hua to Ali ke begum
- ne naam rakhe – Bas-Kar Ali, Raham-Ali
- Santa driving on the wrong side of road..
- &
- Said…
- O===SHIT===
- Aaj phir late ho gaya.
- Saare log wapis ja rahe hai.............short jokes
- Girlfriend ke aansu aur boyfriend ke aansu me kya fark hai?
- GF ke aansu far~maish puri karwane ke liye nikalte hain,
- Jabki boyfriend ke aansu unhe pura karte karte nikalte hain!!!
- Girl : Tum mujhe apni heere ki ring de do, mein ring ko dekh
- ke tumhe yaad kiya karungi,
- Boy : Tum ye so~chkar yaad kar lena ki kamine se ring mangi
- thi aur usne nahi di!!!
- Dhobi police se: ~Banta ne meri biwi ki ijjat luti!!
- Banta: Main press karwane gaya tha, dhobi ne kaha main
- khana kha raha hoon, istri garm hai mar lo!
- Santa to Banta : Yeh bacha tumhara kya lagta hai?
- Banta : yeh mera door ka bhai hai,
- Santa : Door ka mein samjha nahin,
- Banta : Ess k aur mere beech 8 behan bhai aur hai !
- Very Smart Garment shopkeeper
- Aadmi-"Mujhe 1 Lady Suit Dikha Do..
- Dukandar-"Biwi Ke Liye Chahiye, Ya Koi Achha WaLa Dikhau..
- Ek SHARABI DARU Pee Pee K"Mar"Gaya,
- Lekin Marte-Marte Bhi Ye Anmol Baat Kah Gaya
- DARU To"Branded" Hi Peeta Tha,
- Saala "Liver"~ Hi Local Nikla.............short jokes
- Girls jab sare kapde utaar leti h to kya hota h dost batoo?
- ?
- ?
- ?
- ?
- ?
- ?
- Rassi khali ho jati h aur kuch nahi hota yaar
- Patni: sharam nahi aati, dusri
- Aurat ko ghu~r ghur kar dekh rahe ho...!
- Ab tum shadi shuda ho..
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- Pati: aisa kaha likha hai ki upwas
- Ho to khane ka menu bhi nahi
- Dekh sakte
- Aaj anmol vachan:
- Sukh aadmi ko utna milega,
- Jitna usne punya kiya hoga.
- Lekin
- Shanti aadmi ko utni hi milegi,
- Jitni uski biwi ki marzi hogi.
- Smart hone ~ki sabse badi problam....
- .
- .
- .
- Sari ladkiyo ko lagta ki iski to pahle se hi girlfrnd hogi
- .
- .
- .
- Unko kya pata isee vajah se aaj tak single hu mai...
- santa-I lost rs.1000 in a bet
- banta- how
- santa-on cric~ket match, i bet rs.500 and lost.
- banta where did the rest go?
- santa-I bet on the highlight too. very funny santa banta jokes on cricket
- My girlfriend is like my iPhone.
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- I don't have an iPhone.
- 3 larkiyon ko 10 Saal ki Saza mili....
- tino ek hi Room mai 10 saal guzarnay k bad
- Jab riha hokar ghar janay lagii to....
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- 1 larki boli .....
- chal thekk hai~ yaar baakii baten mobile per kartey hain.....
- Santa - "sir ji,
- aap apni patni ko party mein kyunahi laate?"
- Boss - "wo~h gaon ki hai.."
- Santa - "Oh sorry,
- mujhe laga woh sirf aapki hai.
- Boyfriend ne~ apni girlfriend ko rat ko dinner pe le jane ka program banaya aur puchha.
- BF : “darling are you free tonight?”
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- GF ne kuch or he samgha: acha baba free aaj me tumse koi rupye nahi lungi?“
- Gf: Janu kya main tumhare sapnon me aati hu??
- Bf: Nahi.
- GF: Kyun ?...
- BF: Main"hanuman chalisa"padhkar sota hu.
- 2 bhoot jangle me ghum rahe the.....
- Pahla bhoot:-vo dekh vaha per insaan hai.
- Dusra bhoot:-chup ker insaan vinsaan kuch nahi hota hai, sub vaham hai.
- एक बन्दर ने अपनी टोपी फेंक दी
- फिर क्या ~था ? सब बन्दरों ने अपनी टोपी फेंक दी
- भाई इसे पुरस्कार वापसी से ना जोड़े
- .......................................................................................
- एक बन्दर ने अपनी टोपी फेंक दी
- फिर क्या था ? सब बन्दरों ने अपनी टोपी फेंक दी
- भाई इसे पुर~स्कार वापसी से ना जोड़े
- .......................................................................................
- Me:दिन भर मोबाइल में घुसे रहते हो
- Hubby:लो बंद कर दिया,अब तुम कहाँ चल दीं
- Me:रुको ट्वीट करती हु
- .......................................................................................
- Me:दिन भर मोबाइल में घुसे रहते हो
- Hubby:लो बंद कर दिया,अब तुम कहाँ चल दीं
- Me:रुको ट्वीट करती हु
- .......................................................................................
- पति का सबसे कठिन, बीवी का I.A.S exam वाला सवाल....?
- जब बीवी make-up करके कहेती हैं...
- : मैं कैसी दिखती हु...!
- .......................................................................................
- पति का सबसे कठिन, बीवी का I.A.S exam वाला सवाल....?
- जब बीवी make-up करके कहेती हैं...
- : मैं कैसी दिखती हु...! tongue.png tongue.png
- .......................................................................................
- भगवान ने हर किसी इंसान को अलग
- बनाया है,
- -
- लेकिन जब तक चीन की बारी आई वह थक चुका था
- -
- और कॉपी पेस्ट कॉपी पेस्ट करके
- सबको निपटा दिया grin.png grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- भगवान ने हर किसी इंसान को अलग
- बनाया है,
- -
- लेकिन जब तक चीन की बारी आई वह थक चुका था
- -
- और कॉपी पेस्ट कॉपी पेस्ट करके
- सबको निपटा दिया grin.png grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- आलस्य दुनिया की सबसे कीमती वस्तु है,ये एक बार जिसे मिल जाये तो उसकी दुनिया की बाकि वस्तुओ से मोह भंग हो जाता है ।अतः सो~वो और सोने दो ....
- .......................................................................................
- आलस्य दुनिया की~ सबसे कीमती वस्तु है,ये एक बार जिसे मिल जाये तो उसकी दुनिया की बाकि वस्तुओ से मोह भंग हो जाता है ।अतः सोवो और सोने दो ..
- .......................................................................................
- GOLU school me hans raha tha
- MOLU chup kar
- GOLU-Q,~tum kon ho?
- MOLU-mai monitor hu
- GOLU-mai CPU hu. Ab bol.
- .......................................................................................
- GOLU:Aaj Muje Ajeeb SMS Aya Or Mera Mobile Off Ho Gya
- MOLU:Konsa msg
- GOLU:Battery Low
- MOLU:Send Kr..Sabko Daraenge
- MOLU-Tumara Bhai Gora hai Per tum kale kyun ho
- .
- GOLU :Qki mai raat me paida hua tha jabki mera bhai din me
- .......................................................................................
- Honton ko chhuwa usne ehsas ab tk H
- Ankhen nam or saanson mey aag ab tak H
- Waqt guzar g~ya Pr uski yaad nahi gai
- Uff Wo HARI MIRCH ka suwad ab tak H
- :: Hindi sardar jokes ::
- Ek Sardar roz ped ki tehni par jakar baith jata hai...
- Socho kyo...?
- Kyonki wo ap~ne aap ko branch manger samajhta hai.
- Ek bar 300 sardarji ship me travel kar rahe the.
- Lekin sare ke sare doob gaye..
- .
- Kaise ??
- .
- Nothing serious.
- Ship beech me kharab hua, to dhakka dene niche utre the.
- .......................................................................................
- Hindi teacher asks."Kaal kitne prakaar ke hote hain."
- .
- Sardar child,"5 prakaar ke: Local kaal, STD kall, ISD kall, missed kall and satsiriakal."
- 2 Sardar ped pe baith kar gana ga rahe the,
- achanak ek ulta latak ke gane laga,
- dusre ne puch~a, "ulta latak ke kyon gaa rahe ho."
- pehla bola,"are bewkoof, side B gaa raha ho.
- .......................................................................................
- Na mera bap, Na mera taya
- Ro Ro k m~ene Pakistan banya
- In pyar karne walo ne zra b reham na khaya
- Kambkhto ne mere mazar ko DATE POINT bnaya.
- 'Very Beautiful words On Wall of A Temple
- *
- God K Paas Apki Dua Sunne K Liye Bahot Waqt Hai
- Ye muhabat nahi Asool-e-wafa hai
- "GHALIB"
- Dost jaan to dey dete hen magar apni JAN ka number nai dete
- Arz hai
- Mughe appne class ki ladki to Hai patana
- Wah..Wah..
- .
- Mughe appne class ki ladki to hai patana
- .
- paar kaya karu Yaro sara class hai Uska Diwana..
- .......................................................................................
- प्राइवेट कंपनिया इतनी जल्दी, इतना Successful क्यों होती हे??
- क्योंकि, प्राइवेट ~कंपनियो में आरक्षण नही होता।
- .......................................................................................
- प्राइवेट कंपनिया इतनी जल्दी, इतना Successful क्यों होती हे??
- क्योंकि, प्राइवेट कंपनियो में आरक्षण नही होता।
- .......................................................................................
- जब बारात रोड पे नाच ~रही होती तो कुछ चाचा, मौसा काका लोग हाथ हिला-हिला कर ट्रैफिक संचालन ऐसे करते हैं मानो पिछले जनम में पांडु हवलदार ही थे grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- जब बारात रोड पे नाच रही होती~ तो कुछ चाचा, मौसा काका लोग हाथ हिला-हिला कर ट्रैफिक संचालन ऐसे करते हैं मानो पिछले जनम में पांडु हवलदार ही थे grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- Girl1~वो दुकानदार मुझे 10% डिस्काउंट देता है
- Girl2~मुझे 20% smile.png
- Boy1~अरे वो ठरकी दुकानदार,जब में लड़की बन कर जाता हु तो फ्री में देता है। grin.png grin.png
- I Like SMS - Like: 57 - SMS Length: 316
- Tags: Funny Jokes - Hindi Jokes -
- sonu Posted In Jokes1 week ago
- Girl1~वो दुकानदार मुझे 10% डिस्काउंट देता है
- Girl2~मुझे 20% ~smile.png
- Boy1~अरे वो ठरकी दुकानदार,जब में लड़की बन कर जाता हु तो फ्री में देता है। grin.png grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- भगवान ने हर किसी इंसान को
- अलग
- बनाया है,
- लेकिन जब तक चीन की बारी आई वह थक चुका
- था
- और कॉपी पेस्ट ~कॉपी पेस्ट करके
- सबको निपटा दिया grin.png grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- भगवान ने हर किसी इंसान को
- अल~ग
- बनाया है,
- लेकिन जब तक चीन की बारी आई वह थक चुका
- था
- और कॉपी पेस्ट कॉपी पेस्ट करके
- सबको निपटा दिया grin.png grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- सर्दी शुरू हो चुकी है
- कृपया ~गर्लफ्रेंड से ब्रेकअप
- ठंडी के बाद करे
- और मेरे जैसे फोरेवर अलोन लौंडे भी
- बिस्तर गर्म करने का जुगाड़ करे
- grin.png grin.png
- .......................................................................................
- सर्दी शुरू हो चुकी है
- कृपया गर्ल~फ्रेंड से ब्रेकअप
- ठंडी के बाद करे
- और मेरे जैसे फोरेवर अलोन लौंडे भी
- बिस्तर गर्म करने का जुगाड़ करे
- Husband and ~wife are like two tyres of a vehicle:
- Even one punctures, the vehicle can't move further...
- So, Intelligent people always carry a spare wheel
- .......................................................................................
- Soch samajh ke na ki shaadi,
- sara janam bigad liya...
- Soch sa~majh ke na ki shaadi,
- sara janam bigad liya...
- Chaturai se ki jisne...
- usne kya ukhaad liya
- Hathi na~y kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
- Sadqay jaoo tumhari patli kamar per...
- Aankhon me noor hai
- Chehre pe surour hai
- Koi 'LARKI' mangey mera 'Number' to de dena"
- Q k
- Meri shaadi abhi boooohat doooooR hai;
- Dil ki dharkan par aitraz kon karega..
- chahato ~pe jaan nisar kon karega
- Khuda lambi kare umar apki
- warna meri shadi main bartan saaf kon kare ga.
- .......................................................................................
- Argentina ka Messi, Brazil ka Kaka...
- Wah waaa wah waaa!!
- Argentin~a ka Messi, Brazil ka Kaka...
- Dono team baahar...
- Ab karo WAKA WAKA!!
- .......................................................................................
- Shair Arz kia hai,
- Deewaar Mein Lagi Steel ki Jaali hai,
- Wah W~ah
- Deewaar Mein Lagi Steel ki Jaali hai,
- Kia Tumhari Taraf Koi Makan Kiraye Ke liye Khali Hai.
- .......................................................................................
- Pyar mein hisab kitab nahi krte
- ke kya khoya kya paya...
- Gol gappay wala aaya
- Gol g~appay laya..
- zaruri nahi her shair ka koi matlab ho...
- :.......................................................................................
- A Husband makes a call 2 his wife from his idea phone.
- He dials wrong nu~mber. Another woman picks it.
- Both talked for long time and fell in love.
- Moral of the story: An idea can change your wife.
- .......................................................................................
- Woh tanha Andhere mein Bethi,
- Ghanton intezar karti thi uska,
- DiL se subuh shaam yaad karti thi usko,
- BhooLe se b bhuLa nhi paati thi usko,
- Phir Umeed ki~ ek kiran nazar i,
- Andhere mein Roshni nazar i,
- .......................................................................................
- Aaj Khuda ki shararat samajh aayi,
- Is dharti~ pe aapki hukumat samajh aayi,
- Aapko dharti pe bhejna uska bahana tha.....
- .
- .
- .
- Ravan ke baad kisiko ko aana tha
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