Famous Funny Quotes Now Quotes 2017


  • ⧭Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.


  • ⧭One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures - 


  • ⧭Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. 

  • ⬋I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - 


  • ⬊When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.


  • ⬊There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. - 


  • ⬊The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.


  • I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money. 


  • If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.


  • I'm the literary equivalent of a big mac and fries.


  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. 


  • The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. 

  • There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!


  • ⬊Fall is the spring of winter.


  • I find television very educating. Every time somebody ⧭⧭turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. 


  • ⬊Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. 


  • ⧭Education is what remains after one has forgotten⧭⧬ everything he learned in school. 


  • ⧭It's time for the human race to enter the solar ⧭system. 

  • ⧭The world today doesn't make sense, so why should ⧭I paint pictures that do


  • ⧭If I spit, they will take my spit and frame it as ⬉great art.


  • ⬉⬉Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.


  • The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that. 

  • Technological progress is like putting an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal. - 

  • A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest. 


  • Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. 


  • I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. 


  • ⬉If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. 


  • ⬋A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.


  • ⬊It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. 



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