- ⧭Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
- ⧭One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures -
- ⧭Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
- ⬋I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. -
- ⬊When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
- ⬊There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart. -
- ⬊The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
- I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
- If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
- I'm the literary equivalent of a big mac and fries.
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!
- ⬊Fall is the spring of winter.
- I find television very educating. Every time somebody ⧭⧭turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- ⬊Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- ⧭Education is what remains after one has forgotten⧭⧬ everything he learned in school.
- ⧭It's time for the human race to enter the solar ⧭system.
- ⧭The world today doesn't make sense, so why should ⧭I paint pictures that do
- ⧭If I spit, they will take my spit and frame it as ⬉great art.
- ⬉⬉Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
- The worst thing I can be is the same as everybody else. I hate that.
- Technological progress is like putting an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal. -
- A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
- Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
- I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
- ⬉If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut.
- ⬋A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.
- ⬊It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Famous Funny Quotes Now Quotes 2017
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