Misc SMS Jokes New Message2017

Father 2 his son: If u do not pass your exam this time,
dont call me Papa
After some days.......
father: how is your result?
Son: Sorry Zaheer sb
The King, queen & chess
Chess says everything
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.

Throw Butter
Why did Bubbli throw a butter
Out of the window?
.
.
Cause Bubbli wanted to see
Butterfly
Message of the year
Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
Keep in touch
The Day I Die n Exit from dis pathetic life 4ever,
do buy sum nice beautiful flowers 4 me,
from d money which u r saving by not messaging me,
so keep in touch :-)
Girls look beautiful because....
Why do girls look beautiful?
is it real or due to make up?
all false
Girls look beautiful because CONTINUE READING →
Santa's sexy wife
2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
Banta: What does your wife look like?
Santa: She is 5'7", 36-24-36 sexy figure,
fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?
Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.
The taste of Oranges
The walk in Frost
The Golden sunlight
The beauty of Autumn colors
The magic of wet red leaves...
"Happy Slow Arrival of Winter"
MUJHE TUM SE BATIEN KRNI HAI
Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,
Mujhe tum se batien krni hain,
Kuch ghum k geet sunanay hain,
Kuch raaz hain jo batlanay hain,
Kuch dil ko b batlana hai,
Kuch zakhm hain jo dikhlanay hain,
Kuch dil se yaadain dhoni hain,
Kuch naatay nai bnanay hain,
Jo sher likhay hain teri furqat mein,
Kuch sher tumhe wo sunanay hain,
Kuch dard sunanay hain dil k,
Kuch piyar ki batien krni hain,
Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,
Don't copy if u can't paste! :p
A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter!
A very daring husbnd tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker
by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!
Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!
Umeed nahi fir bi jiye jate hai.
Umeed nahi fir bi jiye jate hai..
khali hai bottle fir bi piye jate hai.,
Himmat to dekho hamari...
Response aata nehi fir bhi sms kiye jate hai....
Behavior before and after marriage
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place..
On the other hand,
If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won't take place ;)
Want to surprise your girlfriend?
Want to surprise your girlfriend?
.
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.
.
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Introduce her to your wife :p
Students r not cheaters
Innocent Line written On T-shirt of A Student..
>
>
'Student are not Cheaters
we just really enjoy having the Same answers..' ;-) B-)
Duniya me 3 insan khush hote hai
1 jise sacha pyar milta hai
Dusra jise achha yaar milta hai
teesra jise mera msg baar baar milta hai
Kyu aa gai na (smile)
Pretty or Ugly ?
Gf : Am I Pretty Or Ugly?
.
.
Bf : You Are Both
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Gf : What Do Yu Mean Both ?
.
.
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Bf : You Are Pretty Ugly
Man, wife, girlfriend, and love!
Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend
and will love his wife more.
A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends
and will love his 1st wife more.
A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends
and will love his girlfriends more.
An pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends
and he still loves his mummy more.
New Generation
Miss ne nursery class k bchay se kaha
1 se 10 tk gino main tumhen kiss krun gi
Bacha bola:
Agr me 1 se 1000 tak ginu to koi pakage hai?
A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
U r so cute and dashing
Don't stand too much in front of MIRROR.
Even da Mirror will fall in Love wid U
Coz
U r so Cute & Dashing..
4
more
JOKES
recharge Rs 30/- on my number;-)
Dedicated To All Girls With High Attitude
Dedicated To All Girls With High Attitude
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Sweety ! Don't Be Proud
If Every Boy Wants You..!
Always Remember,
Cheap Items Have Too Many Buyers
LOVE YOUR HUSBAND
When he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen to your nostop talks.
Love him if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.
Love him if he criticize your cooking.
He is still improving his taste.
Love him if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you.
Love him if forgets to give you a gift on your birthday.
He is saving money for future.
Love him Because...
You don't have a Choice...
and killing is a legal offense
Ganjay uchal rahay thay
Door se dekha to andey ubal rahey they
.
.
.
Door se dekha to andey ubal rahey they
.
.
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.
Pas a ker dekha to Ganjey uchal rahe they:)
Your teeths r like stars
Boy: your teeth are like the stars
Girl: awww ... Thanks
Are they that much pretty ?
Boy: no, far away from each other.
If u were my husband / wife
If you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee
If you were my wife
I would drink it.
Latifa kisey kehtey hain
Aik pagal dosre pagal se:
Latifa kisey kehtey hain
Dosra pagal: Latif ki B.V ko
Chand lamho ki zindagi hai
Chand lamho ki zindagi hai,
Nafraton se jiya nahi karte,
Lagta hai dushmano se guzarish karni padegi,
Kyunki aap to ab sms kiya nahi karte.
Kaam kaam kaam
Kaam kaam kaam
10 to 5 tak kaam
uske baad ek shaam
ush shaam mein aapke liye ek pyara sa jaam
ush jaam se aap hamesha k liye jaam
to bhool jao kaam
Tring Tring Tring.
Tring Tring Tring.
Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.
Golden Rule:-
'To be happy with a man,
love him little and understand him a lot.
To be happy with a woman,
love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her :)"
U and ur feelings
You And Your Feelings
Are Important To Your
Friends
Till
They Are Single
A for Apple - Dedicated to STEVE JOBS
Dedicated to STEVE JOBS
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple.
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple.
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple.
L for lena padhega tumko apple.
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple.
N for naa nahi kehtey kyun key yeh hai apple.
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple.
P for pet bhar Ke khaao apple.
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple.
R for roz khaao tum apple.
S for sehetmand rahoge agar khaaogey tum apple.
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple.
U for udhaar ke nahi hai yeh apple.
V for very tasty hai yeh apple.
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple.
X for X'mas mein bhi khane padenge apple.
Y for yoon na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple............
A man received an unknown call..
A man received an unknown call..
Girl : hello do you have a gf??
Man : no, who are you darling?
Girl : M ur girl friend Diana, hate u

Again man got a call
Girl : do u have a gf??
Man : yes darling
Girl : m ur wife Alice, hate u
Man : oh sorry honey i didn't recognise u
Girl : m Diana i knew it that u have a wife, Hate u liar...
Man : wtf..... :-P:-D
Habbit of talking in sleep
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! wat shud i giv him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
Marry someone who can cook
Marry Someone Who Can COOK
LOVE Fades,
HUNGER Doesn’t
:-P
A Last - Night Study ...
A last minute SIX
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A last minute GOAL
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A last minute MOVE
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often wins the GAME!
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That's why we are still confident that...
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"A Last-Night Study can win an EXAM" !
Pizza always confuses us
PIZZA always confuses us:
It comes in Square box,
When u open it's Round,
When u start eating it's Triangle
Life is also like Pizza..
Looks something,
Appears something
&
Tastes something...)
Aankho mein ansu aa jatte hai,
Phir bhi labo par hasi rakhni parrti hai,
Ye haal tabhi hota hai,
Jab lambe safar main susu rokni parrti hai��.
A Student Service Msg...!
If Class Is Not A Place To Sleep..
.
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.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
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Then Home Is Not A Place To Study.
A Student Service Msg...!
Pervez Musharraf = Qaid-e-Qillat
M Ali Jinnah = Qaid-e-Azam
Liaqut Ali = Qaid-e-Millat
Fatima Jinnah = Madar-e-Millat
Pervez Musharraf = Qaid-e-Qillat :p
U don;t know sumthing?
U don;t know sumthing?
Google it !
U don't know sumone?
Facebook it !
You don't find sumthing?
.
.
.
.
.
MUMMY !! :D
Sum things, nevr change.. :)
Kafi dino se sms nahi bheja
Kafi dino se sms nahi bheja,
Chalo sit stand kro
<@>
Y
.IL
<@>
<>
<@>
Y
.IL
<@>
<>
<@>
Y
.IL
Chalo bus karo ainda
SMS kertay rehna.
Baap ki tarifain
Teen bachche apne baap ki taarif kar rahe the.
1st- Mere pitaji bahut garam chai pi jate hain.
2nd- Bas mere pitaji to khaulta hua chai aaram se pi jate hain.
3rd- Ye to kuch bhi nahi,
mere pitaji to chaypatti,dudh,shakkar,
muh me dal lete hain aur
stove par baith jaate hai.....
Whom women listens carefully
The only person to whom
women listens carefully
is a photographer .. :p
By expecting a negative answer,
Girlfriend ask "Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?"
To satisfy his girl,
the boy reply a negative answer:
"Nothing of these, I haven't done."
Medicine to forget love
"True love comes only 1 time with 1 person.
If it comes for the second time,
it is just a medicine to forget the first love...!!!" :-)
Modern Proposal in Mobile Era
- Modern Proposal in Mobile Era-
Sweet Heart,
I Want To Spend The
Rest Of My Battery Life
With You
Men are like bank accounts.
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money
they don't generate
a lot of interest.
Mobile texting with a low battery
Mobile Texting With 3% Battery
Is A Lot Like The Band Playing
While
Titanic Sank
Alphabetic advice for you
Alphabetic advice for you:
A B C
Avoid Boring Company..
D E F
Don't Entertain Fools..
G H I
Go for High Ideas .
J K L M
Just Keep a friend like ME..
N O P
Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..
Q R S
Quit Reacting to Silly tales..
T U V
Tune Urself for ur Victory..
W X Y Z
We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life
Side effect of excess study
Side effect of excess study :p
A Guy Went To A Restaurant,
He Wanted To See The Menu
But He Forgot WhAt It Is Called;
He Asked Waiter,
"Syllabus Lana Zara":-P
Boy: "You Are Like A COIN."
Girl: "Awwww, Valuable .. ?"
Boy: "No, Two Faced"
Millions Of People Write Love Letters.
Millions of people write love letters.
But everyone send there 1st love letter mostly to me,
Just imagine how lucky i m!
Great words said by
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.
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** dust bin **
Most unfulfilled desire ..
The most unfulfilled desire
Of all science students is
A bomb should have
Fallen instead of
An apple on newton!
nur machli ya mada
aquarium mai 2 fishes teir rahi hain
ab batao un mai se nur kon aur mada kon?
.
.
.
Click here for answer
CONTINUE READING →
If marriages are made in heaven
Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?
Answer: The days after marriage!
Everybody makes mistakes in this world
In this world everybody makes mistakes...
But
Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
the gifted talent of finding them,
remembering them n reminding them
Interesting definitions of school,doctor,marriage,smile etc..
Interesting Definitions
SCHOOL;
A Place where Papa Pays & Son Plays
Life Insurnce;
A Contract that keeps U poor all Ur life so that U can die Rich
Doctor;
A person who kills Ur ills by pills
& kills U by bills
Mariage;
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
& a woman gains her Master
Smile;
A curve that can set a lot of things straight
Atom Bomb;
An invention to end all inventions.
Question : When do you CONGRATULATE
someone for their MISTAKE.
CONTINUE READING →
Save treed on paper
Definition of Human being by a philosopher:
A creature that cuts trees
and makes paper,
and on those papers
writes
"SAVE TREES"
Degrees of girls!
Degrees of girls!
B.A.-Beautiful Angel
B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
B.Com-Beautiful Communication
M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!
Meri tarah perfect
I never forget my sincere friends
when i see some faults in them
i keep patient & just realize that
.
.
.
.
"ab har koi meri terha perfect
tou nahi ho sakta na" ;)
Life of girl vs boys as compare to facebook
Dear Guys,
May your life be as awesome
as you pretend it is on
Facebook __ :-D
Dear Girls,
May your life not be as bad
as you pretend it is on
Facebook __ :-P
What was the first thing
Lawyer: �What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning?�
Witness: �He said, Where am I, Cathy?�
Lawyer: �And why did that upset you?�
Witness: �My name is Susan.�
Nice smelling mosquitoes repellent
Dear Technology,
Its 2014 and we still don’t
have a perfume/body-spray
that smells nice and repels
mosquitoes.
I am really disappointed :-(
Read each word Reversely
Read each word Reversely:
A'
suomaF
rotcoD
dloT
eM
tahT
ylnO
latneM
stneitaP
evaH
ehT
tnelaT
oT
daeR
$M$
revenehW
stI
nettirW
'...ylesreveR

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Misc SMS Jokes New Message2017

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