Misc SMS Jokes New Message2017

1. Father 2 his son: If u do not pass your exam this time,
2. dont call me Papa
3. After some days.......
4. father: how is your result?
5. Son: Sorry Zaheer sb
6. 
   
7. The King, queen & chess
8. 
   
9. Chess says everything
10. about husband and wife.
11. The King has to take things one step at a time,
12. while the Queen can do whatever she wants.
13. 
    
14. Throw Butter
15. 
    
16. Why did Bubbli throw a butter
17. Out of the window?
18. .
19. .
20. Cause Bubbli wanted to see
21. Butterfly
22. 
    
23. Message of the year
24. 
    
25. Message of the year:-
26. Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
27. Why? Very simple...
28. A woman does not have a wife..!!!
29. 
    
30. Keep in touch
31. 
    
32. The Day I Die n Exit from dis pathetic life 4ever,
33. do buy sum nice beautiful flowers 4 me,
34. from d money which u r saving by not messaging me,
35. so keep in touch :-)
36. 
    
37. Girls look beautiful because....
38. 
    
39. Why do girls look beautiful?
40. is it real or due to make up?
41. 
    
42. all false
43. 
    
44. Girls look beautiful because CONTINUE READING →
45. 
    
46. Santa's sexy wife
47. 
    
48. 2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
49. Banta: What does your wife look like?
50. Santa: She is 5'7", 36-24-36 sexy figure,
51. fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?
52. 
    
53. Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.
54. 
    
55. 
    
56. 
    
57. The taste of Oranges
58. The walk in Frost
59. The Golden sunlight
60. The beauty of Autumn colors
61. The magic of wet red leaves...
62. "Happy Slow Arrival of Winter"
63. 
    
64. MUJHE TUM SE BATIEN KRNI HAI
65. 
    
66. Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,
67. Mujhe tum se batien krni hain,
68. 
    
69. Kuch ghum k geet sunanay hain,
70. Kuch raaz hain jo batlanay hain,
71. 
    
72. Kuch dil ko b batlana hai,
73. Kuch zakhm hain jo dikhlanay hain,
74. 
    
75. Kuch dil se yaadain dhoni hain,
76. Kuch naatay nai bnanay hain,
77. 
    
78. Jo sher likhay hain teri furqat mein,
79. Kuch sher tumhe wo sunanay hain,
80. 
    
81. Kuch dard sunanay hain dil k,
82. Kuch piyar ki batien krni hain,
83. 
    
84. Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,
85. 
    
86. Don't copy if u can't paste! :p
87. 
    
88. A famous inspirational speaker said:
89. "Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
90. Audience was in shock and silence..
91. He added: "she was my mother"
92. A big round of applause & laughter!
93. 
    
94. A very daring husbnd tried to crack this at home
95. After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
96. "Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
97. standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker
98. 
    
99. by the time he gained his senses,
100. he was on a hospital bed,
101. recovering from burns of boiling water!
102. 
     
103. Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!
104. 
     
105. Umeed nahi fir bi jiye jate hai.
106. 
     
107. Umeed nahi fir bi jiye jate hai..
108. khali hai bottle fir bi piye jate hai.,
109. 
     
110. Himmat to dekho hamari...
111. Response aata nehi fir bhi sms kiye jate hai....
112. 
     
113. Behavior before and after marriage
114. 
     
115. If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
116. half the divorces won't take place..
117. 
     
118. On the other hand,
119. 
     
120. If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
121. half the marriages won't take place ;)
122. 
     
123. Want to surprise your girlfriend?
124. 
     
125. Want to surprise your girlfriend?
126. .
127. .
128. .
129. .
130. .
131. .
132. .
133. Introduce her to your wife :p
134. 
     
135. Students r not cheaters
136. 
     
137. Innocent Line written On T-shirt of A Student..
138. >
139. >
140. 'Student are not Cheaters
141. we just really enjoy having the Same answers..' ;-) B-)
142. 
     
143. 
     
144. Duniya me 3 insan khush hote hai
145. 1 jise sacha pyar milta hai
146. Dusra jise achha yaar milta hai
147. teesra jise mera msg baar baar milta hai
148. Kyu aa gai na (smile)
149. 
     
150. Pretty or Ugly ?
151. 
     
152. Gf : Am I Pretty Or Ugly?
153. .
154. .
155. Bf : You Are Both
156. .
157. .
158. Gf : What Do Yu Mean Both ?
159. .
160. .
161. .
162. Bf : You Are Pretty Ugly
163. 
     
164. Man, wife, girlfriend, and love!
165. 
     
166. Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend
167. and will love his wife more.
168. 
     
169. A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends
170. and will love his 1st wife more.
171. 
     
172. A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends
173. and will love his girlfriends more.
174. 
     
175. An pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends
176. and he still loves his mummy more.
177. 
     
178. New Generation
179. 
     
180. Miss ne nursery class k bchay se kaha
181. 1 se 10 tk gino main tumhen kiss krun gi
182. Bacha bola:
183. Agr me 1 se 1000 tak ginu to koi pakage hai?
184. 
     
185. A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
186. 
     
187. A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
188. itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
189. Sardar bhag k train mein charha
190. or
191. apni wife se bola
192. jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
193. 
     
194. U r so cute and dashing
195. 
     
196. Don't stand too much in front of MIRROR.
197. Even da Mirror will fall in Love wid U
198. Coz
199. U r so Cute & Dashing..
200. 
     
201. 4
202. more
203. JOKES
204. recharge Rs 30/- on my number;-)
205. 
     
206. Dedicated To All Girls With High Attitude
207. 
     
208. Dedicated To All Girls With High Attitude
209. 
     
210. .
211. .
212. .
213. .
214. .
215. .
216. 
     
217. Sweety ! Don't Be Proud
218. If Every Boy Wants You..!
219. 
     
220. Always Remember,
221. Cheap Items Have Too Many Buyers
222. 
     
223. 
     
224. LOVE YOUR HUSBAND
225. 
     
226. When he orders you to make tea or coffee.
227. He wants to feel fresh to listen to your nostop talks.
228. 
     
229. Love him if he looks at all the beautiful females.
230. He is just checking that you are still the best.
231. 
     
232. Love him if he criticize your cooking.
233. He is still improving his taste.
234. 
     
235. 
     
236.  
237. Love him if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
238. He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you.
239. 
     
240. 
     
241.  
242. Love him if forgets to give you a gift on your birthday.
243. He is saving money for future.
244. 
     
245. Love him Because...
246. You don't have a Choice...
247. and killing is a legal offense
248. 
     
249. Ganjay uchal rahay thay
250. 
     
251. Door se dekha to andey ubal rahey they
252. .
253. .
254. .
255. Door se dekha to andey ubal rahey they
256. .
257. .
258. .
259. .
260. Pas a ker dekha to Ganjey uchal rahe they:)
261. 
     
262. Your teeths r like stars
263. 
     
264. Boy: your teeth are like the stars
265. 
     
266. Girl: awww ... Thanks
267. Are they that much pretty ?
268. 
     
269. Boy: no, far away from each other.
270. 
     
271. If u were my husband / wife
272. 
     
273. If you were my husband,
274. I would poison your coffee
275. 
     
276. If you were my wife
277. I would drink it.
278. 
     
279. Latifa kisey kehtey hain
280. 
     
281. Aik pagal dosre pagal se:
282. Latifa kisey kehtey hain
283. 
     
284. Dosra pagal: Latif ki B.V ko
285. 
     
286. Chand lamho ki zindagi hai
287. 
     
288. Chand lamho ki zindagi hai,
289. Nafraton se jiya nahi karte,
290. 
     
291. Lagta hai dushmano se guzarish karni padegi,
292. Kyunki aap to ab sms kiya nahi karte.
293. 
     
294. Kaam kaam kaam
295. 
     
296. Kaam kaam kaam
297. 10 to 5 tak kaam
298. uske baad ek shaam
299. ush shaam mein aapke liye ek pyara sa jaam
300. ush jaam se aap hamesha k liye jaam
301. to bhool jao kaam
302. 
     
303. Tring Tring Tring.
304. 
     
305. Tring Tring Tring.
306. 
     
307. Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
308. Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
309. Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
310. idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.
311. 
     
312. 
     
313.  
314. 
     
315. 
     
316. Golden Rule:-
317. 'To be happy with a man,
318. love him little and understand him a lot.
319. 
     
320. To be happy with a woman,
321. love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her :)"
322. 
     
323. U and ur feelings
324. 
     
325. You And Your Feelings
326. Are Important To Your
327. Friends
328. Till
329. They Are Single
330. 
     
331. A for Apple - Dedicated to STEVE JOBS
332. 
     
333. Dedicated to STEVE JOBS
334. A for apple.
335. B for bada apple.
336. C for chhota apple.
337. D for dusra apple.
338. E for ek aur apple.
339. F for fokat ka apple.
340. G for gol apple.
341. H for hazar apple.
342. I for itney saarey apple?
343. J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple.
344. K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple.
345. L for lena padhega tumko apple.
346. M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple.
347. N for naa nahi kehtey kyun key yeh hai apple.
348. O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple.
349. P for pet bhar Ke khaao apple.
350. Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple.
351. R for roz khaao tum apple.
352. S for sehetmand rahoge agar khaaogey tum apple.
353. T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple.
354. U for udhaar ke nahi hai yeh apple.
355. V for very tasty hai yeh apple.
356. W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple.
357. X for X'mas mein bhi khane padenge apple.
358. Y for yoon na chehra phero dekhkey apple
359. Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple..........­..
360. 
     
361. A man received an unknown call..
362. 
     
363. A man received an unknown call..
364. Girl : hello do you have a gf??
365. Man : no, who are you darling?
366. Girl : M ur girl friend Diana, hate u
367. 
     
368. Again man got a call
369. Girl : do u have a gf??
370. Man : yes darling
371. Girl : m ur wife Alice, hate u
372. Man : oh sorry honey i didn't recognise u
373. Girl : m Diana i knew it that u have a wife, Hate u liar...
374. 
     
375. Man : wtf..... :-P:-D
376. 
     
377. Habbit of talking in sleep
378. 
     
379. A Lady to Doctor:
380. My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! wat shud i giv him to cure?
381. Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
382. 
     
383. Marry someone who can cook
384. 
     
385. Marry Someone Who Can COOK
386. LOVE Fades,
387. HUNGER Doesn’t
388. 
     
389. :-P
390. 
     
391. A Last - Night Study ...
392. 
     
393. A last minute SIX
394. .
395. .
396. .
397. A last minute GOAL
398. .
399. .
400. .
401. .
402. A last minute MOVE
403. .
404. .
405. .
406. .
407. often wins the GAME!
408. .
409. .
410. .
411. .
412. That's why we are still confident that...
413. .
414. .
415. .
416. .
417. "A Last-Night Study can win an EXAM" !
418. 
     
419. Pizza always confuses us
420. 
     
421. PIZZA always confuses us:
422. It comes in Square box,
423. When u open it's Round,
424. When u start eating it's Triangle
425. Life is also like Pizza..
426. Looks something,
427. Appears something
428. &
429. Tastes something...)
430. 
     
431. 
     
432. 
     
433. Aankho mein ansu aa jatte hai,
434. Phir bhi labo par hasi rakhni parrti hai,
435. 
     
436. Ye haal tabhi hota hai,
437. Jab lambe safar main susu rokni parrti hai��.
438. 
     
439. A Student Service Msg...!
440. 
     
441. If Class Is Not A Place To Sleep..
442. .
443. .
444. .
445. .
446. .
447. ..
448. .
449. .
450. .
451. .
452. .
453. .
454. Then Home Is Not A Place To Study.
455. 
     
456. A Student Service Msg...!
457. 
     
458. Pervez Musharraf = Qaid-e-Qillat
459. 
     
460. M Ali Jinnah = Qaid-e-Azam
461. Liaqut Ali = Qaid-e-Millat
462. Fatima Jinnah = Madar-e-Millat
463. Pervez Musharraf = Qaid-e-Qillat :p
464. 
     
465. U don;t know sumthing?
466. 
     
467. U don;t know sumthing?
468. Google it !
469. 
     
470. U don't know sumone?
471. Facebook it !
472. 
     
473. You don't find sumthing?
474. .
475. .
476. .
477. .
478. .
479. MUMMY !! :D
480. 
     
481. Sum things, nevr change.. :)
482. 
     
483. Kafi dino se sms nahi bheja
484. 
     
485. Kafi dino se sms nahi bheja,
486. Chalo sit stand kro
487. <@>
488. Y
489. .IL
490. 
     
491. <@>
492. <>
493. 
     
494. <@>
495. Y
496. .IL
497. 
     
498. <@>
499. <>
500. 
     
501. <@>
502. Y
503. .IL
504. 
     
505. Chalo bus karo ainda
506. SMS kertay rehna.
507. 
     
508. Baap ki tarifain
509. 
     
510. Teen bachche apne baap ki taarif kar rahe the.
511. 1st- Mere pitaji bahut garam chai pi jate hain.
512. 2nd- Bas mere pitaji to khaulta hua chai aaram se pi jate hain.
513. 3rd- Ye to kuch bhi nahi,
514. mere pitaji to chaypatti,dudh,shakkar,
515. muh me dal lete hain aur
516. stove par baith jaate hai.....
517. 
     
518. Whom women listens carefully
519. 
     
520. The only person to whom
521. women listens carefully
522. is a photographer .. :p
523. 
     
524. 
     
525. By expecting a negative answer,
526. Girlfriend ask "Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?"
527. 
     
528. To satisfy his girl,
529. the boy reply a negative answer:
530. "Nothing of these, I haven't done."
531. 
     
532. Medicine to forget love
533. 
     
534. "True love comes only 1 time with 1 person.
535. 
     
536. If it comes for the second time,
537. it is just a medicine to forget the first love...!!!" :-)
538. 
     
539. Modern Proposal in Mobile Era
540. 
     
541. - Modern Proposal in Mobile Era-
542. 
     
543. Sweet Heart,
544. I Want To Spend The
545. Rest Of My Battery Life
546. With You
547. 
     
548. Men are like bank accounts.
549. 
     
550. Men are like bank accounts.
551. Without a lot of money
552. they don't generate
553. a lot of interest.
554. 
     
555. Mobile texting with a low battery
556. 
     
557. Mobile Texting With 3% Battery
558. Is A Lot Like The Band Playing
559. While
560. Titanic Sank
561. 
     
562. Alphabetic advice for you
563. 
     
564. Alphabetic advice for you:
565. A B C
566. Avoid Boring Company..
567. D E F
568. Don't Entertain Fools..
569. G H I
570. Go for High Ideas .
571. J K L M
572. Just Keep a friend like ME..
573. N O P
574. Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..
575. Q R S
576. Quit Reacting to Silly tales..
577. T U V
578. Tune Urself for ur Victory..
579. W X Y Z
580. We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life
581. 
     
582. Side effect of excess study
583. 
     
584. Side effect of excess study :p
585. A Guy Went To A Restaurant,
586. He Wanted To See The Menu
587. But He Forgot WhAt It Is Called;
588. 
     
589. He Asked Waiter,
590. "Syllabus Lana Zara":-P
591. 
     
592. 
     
593. Boy: "You Are Like A COIN."
594. 
     
595. Girl: "Awwww, Valuable .. ?"
596. 
     
597. Boy: "No, Two Faced"
598. 
     
599. Millions Of People Write Love Letters.
600. 
     
601. Millions of people write love letters.
602. But everyone send there 1st love letter mostly to me,
603. Just imagine how lucky i m!
604. Great words said by
605. .
606. .
607. .
608. ** dust bin **
609. 
     
610. Most unfulfilled desire ..
611. 
     
612. The most unfulfilled desire
613. Of all science students is
614. A bomb should have
615. Fallen instead of
616. An apple on newton!
617. 
     
618. nur machli ya mada
619. 
     
620. aquarium mai 2 fishes teir rahi hain
621. ab batao un mai se nur kon aur mada kon?
622. .
623. .
624. .
625. Click here for answer
626. CONTINUE READING →
627. 
     
628. If marriages are made in heaven
629. 
     
630. Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
631. than what are made in Hell?
632. 
     
633. Answer: The days after marriage!
634. 
     
635. Everybody makes mistakes in this world
636. 
     
637. In this world everybody makes mistakes...
638. But
639. Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
640. the gifted talent of finding them,
641. remembering them n reminding them
642. 
     
643. Interesting definitions of school,doctor,marriage,smile etc..
644. 
     
645. Interesting Definitions
646. 
     
647. SCHOOL;
648. A Place where Papa Pays & Son Plays
649. 
     
650. Life Insurnce;
651. A Contract that keeps U poor all Ur life so that U can die Rich
652. 
     
653. Doctor;
654. A person who kills Ur ills by pills
655. & kills U by bills
656. 
     
657. Mariage;
658. It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
659. & a woman gains her Master
660. 
     
661. Smile;
662. A curve that can set a lot of things straight
663. 
     
664. Atom Bomb;
665. An invention to end all inventions.
666. 
     
667. 
     
668. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE
669. someone for their MISTAKE.
670. 
     
671. CONTINUE READING →
672. 
     
673. Save treed on paper
674. 
     
675. Definition of Human being by a philosopher:
676. 
     
677. A creature that cuts trees
678. and makes paper,
679. and on those papers
680. writes
681. "SAVE TREES"
682. 
     
683. Degrees of girls!
684. 
     
685. Degrees of girls!
686. B.A.-Beautiful Angel
687. B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
688. B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
689. B.Com-Beautiful Communication
690. M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!
691. 
     
692. Meri tarah perfect
693. 
     
694. I never forget my sincere friends
695. when i see some faults in them
696. i keep patient & just realize that
697. .
698. .
699. .
700. .
701. "ab har koi meri terha perfect
702. tou nahi ho sakta na" ;)
703. 
     
704. Life of girl vs boys as compare to facebook
705. 
     
706. Dear Guys,
707. May your life be as awesome
708. as you pretend it is on
709. Facebook __ :-D
710. 
     
711. Dear Girls,
712. May your life not be as bad
713. as you pretend it is on
714. Facebook __ :-P
715. 
     
716. What was the first thing
717. 
     
718. Lawyer: �What was the first thing your husband
719. said to you when he woke that morning?�
720. Witness: �He said, Where am I, Cathy?�
721. 
     
722. Lawyer: �And why did that upset you?�
723. Witness: �My name is Susan.�
724. 
     
725. Nice smelling mosquitoes repellent
726. 
     
727. Dear Technology,
728. 
     
729. Its 2014 and we still don’t
730. have a perfume/body-spray
731. that smells nice and repels
732. mosquitoes.
733. 
     
734. I am really disappointed :-(
735. 
     
736. Read each word Reversely
737. 
     
738. Read each word Reversely:
739. 
     
740. A'
741. suomaF
742. rotcoD
743. dloT
744. eM
745. tahT
746. ylnO
747. latneM
748. stneitaP
749. evaH
750. ehT
751. tnelaT
752. oT
753. daeR
754. $M$
755. revenehW
756. stI
757. nettirW
758. '...ylesreveR