Funny Marriage Quotes Now Quotes 2017

1. ⧭No, please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them. 
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4. ⬉⬉The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. 
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8. ⧭Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. 
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11. ⧭Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. 
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14. Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. 
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18. ⬊Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. 
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22. ⬊My wife told me we have to separate, the whites from the darks.
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25. 🔝Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. 
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28. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. 
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31. Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution
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34. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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36. In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced. - 
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40. ⧪The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.
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43. ⬀My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. 
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46. ⬉When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad. 
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49. ⧭Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, ⧭I might let him inside the⧫ house.