- Everybody says~ Engineering is so easy
- that it is just like walking in a park!
- But only Engi~neers know that..
- park is called Jurassic Park..!!
- Happy Engineers Day
- =====================================
- Umar ki ra~ah mein JAZBAAT badal jate hai,
- Waqt ki AAndhi me HALLAT badal jaate hai,
- Sochta hoon kaam~ kar kar ke Record tod dun,
- Lekin kambhakt salary dekhte he KHAYAAL badal jaate hai..
- =====================================
- Dont loose hope if you aren’t getting promotion in office.
- Remember, Pradyumann is still an ACP and Daya is still an Inspector!!
- Even after 17 years service.
- That too despite solving all the cases assigned to them. 100 % Performance..
- =====================================
- Yes papa!
- Private~ job.
- Yes papa!
- Lot of tension..
- Yes papa!
- Too much work..
- Yes papa!
- Fam~ily life..
- No papa!
- Bp-sugar..
- High papa!
- Yearly bonus..
- Joke papa!
- Monthly pay..
- Low papa!
- Personal life..
- Lost papa!
- Weekly off!
- ha! ha! ha!
- =====================================
- Boss to worker: Tumne is saal
- Mehnat s~e kam kai,
- Islie 5000 ka Bonus
- Cheque de raha Hu..
- Agar isi Ta~ra kam karogeto agle sal ispar sign kardunga. 😆
- =====================================
- Employee: Sir Shirt Mast lag rhi hai aap pr wink emoticon
- Boss: Chhutti nahi milegi tumhe!
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- Employee: Sirf Shirt hi acchi hai, muh waisa hi hai kutte !!
- Search Terms for SMS & Shayari:
- shayri employ chhutti nahi
- sms for Monday office shayri
- =====================================
- Kal ka kaam aaj MAT karo,
- Usko kal tak ra~kho.. Kya pata..
- Us kaam ko.. karne ki jarurat hi na pade!
- =====================================
- Frustrated Employee
- Boss: k~aha gaye the
- Employee: bal katwane
- Boss: Office hours me?
- Employee:~ bal bade bhi to Office hours me hue hai
- Boss: ghar me bhi to badhte hai
- Employee: ganja ho kar to nahi aaya hu..
- jitne office me badhe the utn hee katwaye hai!!
- =====================================
- Heights of Feka-Feki:
- Interviewer: Why Did U Leave Ur Last job?
- Candidate: T~he Company Shifted Their 0ffice &
- Didn’t Tell Me Where it is…!!
- =====================================
- Biwi ko din me karoge to wo sust rahegi,
- Sham ko ka~roge to chust rahegi
- Roj karoge to tandurast rahegi,
- Karte rahoge to khush rahegi,
- ‘Office se Roj Sirf 1 Call’ 😀
- =====================================
- Excellent Inspiring Message:
- A Businessman who lost everything in a fire
- placed a Sign Board:
- Everything burnt but luckily
- faith & confidence
- undamaged.
- Business starts tomorrow.
- BEST MSG
- Superb Attitude for Life!
- =====================================
- A female secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss.
- She sent hi~m a ‘Thank you note’ by email.
- Boss’s wife read the email and filed for divorce.
- The email said:
- Your p*nis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night.
- It has extra o~rdinary smooth flow and a firm stroke.
- I loved its perfect size and grip.
- Felt like I was in heaven when using it.Thanks a lot
- Moral: A ‘space’ is an essential part of English grammar.
- Search Terms for SMS & Shayari:
- double meaning husband wife jokes
- good night wife hindi sms
- =====================================
- Do not keep all your work for tomorrow,
- always remember
- you can also do it the day after tomorrow..
- .
- .
- .
- .
- Be lazy, Think crazy.
- Search Term~s for SMS & Shayari:
- office sayari
- job hindi sms
- =====================================
- U May Be Busy,
- U May Be Engaged
- With Lot~s Of Works.
- Bt U Hav 1440 Mins Per Day.
- Atleast For 1 min
- Think That A Sweet Friend Of Ur’s
- Is Waiting 4Ur SMS.
- Missing u
- =====================================
- Most successful men have not achieved
- their distinction by having some new talent
- or opportun~ity presented to them.
- They have developed the opportunity that was at hand.
- Good Morning
- =====================================
- Month end story.
- A thief broke into my room.
- He started searching for money.
- I woke up & started searching with him. 😀
- =====================================
- A middle-aged lady, in short clothes, to Santa in office
- ‘Am I l~ooking young in this new outfit?’
- Santa: Take this also off,
- you’ll look like a new-born! 😀
- =====================================
- Boss: Tumari Ability?
- Lady secretary :-
- Young hu,
- Dynamic hu,
- Sincere hu,
- Honest hu,
- Hardworking hu,
- Qualified hu,
- Experienced hu,
- Deserving hu,
- Typing janti hu,
- File sahi rakhti hu,
- Compu~ter me expert hu,
- Thoda accounts b janti hu,
- Boss: Aur kuch..?
- Lady: Disease free aur healthy hu,
- Copper T ~lagayi hai,
- 7 positions aati hain,
- 69 me Expert hu,
- Aur
- Sabse Zaruri Baat ke
- Apne flat mein akeli rehti hu..!
- Boss: Bas kar Pagli, Ab kya joinning ke Din he Promotion legi..!
- =====================================
- New thought..
- Maut aur Mohabbat to sirf naam se hi badnaam hai..
- Varna, taqleef to sabse zyada
- .
- .
- .
- Naukri hi deti hai.
- Search Terms for SMS & Shayari:
- www comedy sms com
- maut shayari
- =====================================
- IN 2018
- Bhikari: Bhagwan ke naam p~e kuch de de.
- Engineer: Ye le meri B.Tech ki degree rakh le.
- Bhikari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.Tech ki rakh le.
- A junior in a~n office dialed his boss’s number by mistake & said : Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes!
- Boss shouted : Do you know whom you’re talking to ?!
- Junior: no!
- Boss: I’m the boss of this office.
- Junior (in the same tone) : & do u know whom you’re talking to?
- Boss: No!
- Junior: Thank God. (and disconnected da phone)!!
- =====================================
- If there is some work which
- you think you are not able to finish,
- imagine every day for few minutes
- that you have successfully finished the work..
- Search Terms for SMS & Shayari:
- hard working sms
- smsjokes4u category funny shayari
- =====================================
- The ones ~who say
- “You can’t”
- and
- “You won’t”
- are probably the ones that are scared that you will..
- =====================================
- Confidence Doesn’t come when you have All the answers..
- But,
- It comes when you are ready to Face all the problems..!!
- ~
- Search Terms for SMS & Shayari:
- shayari in hindi on office
- confidence doesnt come when you know all the answers
- =====================================
- Don’t see others doing better than you,
- Beat your own records everyday because,
- Success is a fight between YOU & YOURSELF.
- =====================================
- Purani soch: Karo ya Maro.
- Nai soch: Marne se Phle kuch karo!
- Ekdam Nai soch: Jab tak kuch kar nahi lete maro mat!
- Hamari Soch: Koi Bataega Sala karna kya hai?
- =====================================
- INTENTION
- kitna bhi achchha ho…
- duniya PRESENTATION dekhti hai.
- aur..
- PRESENTATION
- kitna b~hi achchha ho,
- uparwala INTENTION dekhta hai.
- =====================================
- 3 signs that the person is working in the corporate world.
- 1. Stressed
- 2. Depressed
- 3. Still Well Dressed!!
- =====================================
- Bill gates never did Laxmi pooja but he is Richest man.
- Einstein n~ever did Sarswati pooja but hewas most Intelligent.
- Belive in WORK Not in LUCK
- 3 Important Philosophies:
- 1) Ability can never remain hidden.
- 2) No injury is deeper than insult.
- 3) The start of tension is the end of talent..!
- =====================================
- Don’t focus on making it there,
- focus on how~ long you STAY there!
- Just reaching it isn’t enough,
- stay at the top!!
- =====================================
- Bangalore to Mangalore 120 kms,
- Mangalor~e to Bangalore 120 kms,
- Monday to Sunday 6 days,
- Sunday to Monday 1 day?
- This is Cheating
- =====================================
- 2 things r Extremely difficult
- -To plant ur idea in someone’s head
- -To plant someone’s money in ur own pocket
- The 1 who succeeds in both is Called WIFE
- =====================================
- Successful people Can’t relax in chairs
- They relax in work.
- They Sleep with a dream,
- Awake with commitment+work towards GOAL.
- That’s Spirit of Life
- =====================================
- New Version of Old Dialogue:
- Mere Paas Facebook Hai
- Twitter Hai
- Orkut Hai
- Tumhare Pas Kya Hai?
- Smart Boy ~Answer:
- Mere Paas “KAAM DHANDA” hai!
- =====================================
- Japanese Proverb:
- “If 1 can do, U too can do, if none can do, U must do”.
- INDIAN concept:
- “If 1 can d~o, Let him do. If none can do, how can I do”
- =====================================
- Interviewer: What is Recession?
- Candidate:
- When ‘Wine & Women’ get replaced by ‘Water & Wife’,
- That Critical Phase of Life is called Recession!!
- =====================================
- 2 things define your success in life.
- The way u manage when u have nothing
- &
- The way u behave when u have everything
- =====================================
- Success is a Vehicle Which Moves On a Wheel Named-
- SMART WORK
- But
- The Journey is Impossible Without The Fuel Named-
- SELF CONFIDENCE
- All successful ~& unsuccessful people have 1 thing in common
- 24 HRS A DAY
- Its how u use them that makes the difference
- =====================================
- A line said by a friend 2 his friend
- after both ~got busy in their livz
- &
- didn’t contact each other
- Missed ur smile a lot
- but
- I missed my own smile more
- =====================================
- Man- Among My 4 Sons 3 are MBAs
- Friend- 4th?
- Man- He Didnt Study & Became A Barber
- Friend:
- Why Dont U Throw Him Out?
- Man- Woi To GHAR Ka Kharcha Chala Raha Hai 😀
- =====================================
- “Success means what Better we have in Life.
- But,
- A Successful person means how many Lives r Better bcoz of him.”
- Good Morning
- =====================================
- People may not believe what u say!
- But, they wil~l always believe what u done!
- So prove ur excellence in action better than in words
- Have a Nice day
- =====================================
- Thought of d day:
- Don’t mix ur words with ur mood bcoz,
- U will have many options to change the mood
- but
- U will never get any option to replace the spoken words
- =====================================
- “Working Towards Success Will Make You A Master,
- But
- Working Towards Satisfaction Makes you A Legend”.
- =====================================
- Thinki~ng of Indians
- Sarkari Bus me bethna nahi,
- Sarkari School me padhna nahi,
- Sarkari Hospital me ilaz nahi,
- Mager
- Nokri chahiye to kewal Sarkari wah INDIA :)
- =====================================
- Height of pressure in Private companies.
- Company ka E~mployee Toilet Gaya,
- Andar jakr Baitha, Samne Diwar pe Likha Tha
- =====================================
- Definition of a Holiday:
- A Holiday is a~ Day when a Man stops doing what His Boss wants & starts doing what His Wife wants..!!
- Have a Nice Weekend 😀
- Injury+Friend = Medicine
- lon~ely+Friend = Company
- Death+Friend = Life
- Tears+Friend = Smile
- A way+Friend = Goal
- In Short
- Nothing+friend = EVERYTHING :)
- =====================================
- Mind Blowing words Don’t share ur Top secrets with anyone..
- Bcoz~ if u urself cant keep ur secrets then don’t expect sumbody else 2 keep it…!!
- =====================================
- In my life i learned
- How 2 love,
- How 2 smile,
- How c be happy,
- How 2 b strong,
- How 2 work hard..
- But I didn’t learn how 2 forget a frnd like u
- =====================================
- Utilize 5 chances b4 5 stages in life.
- – Youth b4 ~old age.
- – Health b4 disease.
- – Wealth b4 poverty.
- – Free time b4 work.
- – Life b4 death.
- =====================================
- Desire wakes U2 work.
- Anger~ makes U2 achieve.
- Poverty pushes U2 earn.
- Problems keep U alert.
- Its just+ve attitude dat makes d life Cheerful
- =====================================
- Funda of life
- “Dont ever try to convince Urself that any work is impossible…
- Bcoz the word impossible itself says…
- I’M possible! :)
- =====================================
- 7 tips to be happy in life
- -never~ be late
- -don’t cheat!
- -live simple!
- -expect little!
- -work mo~re!
- -always smile! :)
- -never break good relations
- =====================================
- HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
- 1. Open~ a new file in your PC.
- 2. Name it ” Boss ”
- 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
- 4. Empt 😀
- =====================================
- HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK
- 1. Open a~ new file in your PC.
- 2. Name it ” Boss ”
- 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN
- 4. Empt
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