latest sms jokes new2017

1. Pappu: My neighbour loves t~he music I play.
2. Bunty: What makes you think so?
3. Pappu: Last night, he broke the window with a stone to hear it better!
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5. Maths teacher to P~appu, "If you had Rupees 1000 in one pocket and Rupees 1000 in the other pocket, what would you sum up?
6. Pappu: Whose pant is it?
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8. Santa entered Pappu's room and found him asleep on his books, looking tired of exam studies.
9. He walked closer to him, played with~ his hair softly, sweetly and BAAAANG!!! slapped his face... and said,
10. .
11. ..
12. ...
13. "Last seen on Whatsapp 2 minutes ago"!
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15. Santa: How did you fare in the final exam?
16. Pappu: Totally under water.
17. Santa: ~What do you mean?
18. Pappu: All below 'C' level!
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20. Teacher: What do you w~ant to be when you grow up?
21. Pappu: I want to be a millionaire, just like my dad.
22. Teacher: Wow, your da~d's a millionaire?
23. Pappu: No, but he always wanted to be one!
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25. Jeeto: Yesterday, there were ~two chocolate cakes in the box and now there's only one. Why?
26. Pappu: It was so dark in the room that I didn't see the other one!
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28. Pappu: A very frightening~ woman comes in my nightmares and scares the hell out of me.
29. Nirmal Baba: Stop watching Lady Gaga music videos, Kripa Ho Jaye gi!
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31. Pappu: You're like a drug to me.
32. Girlfriend: Because ~you're hooked to me?
33. Pappu: No. Because you're ruining my life!
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35. Teacher: You don't look interested in reading this chapter...
36. Pappu: Haaaaaye... Ek Aap~ Hi Ho, Jo Mere Dil Ki Baat Samajhti Ho!
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38. Pappu and Bunty were fighting after an exam.
39. Sir: Why ar~e you fighting?
40. Pappu: This fool left the answer sheet blank.
41. Sir: So what?
42. Pappu: Even I did the same thing; now teacher will think that we both copied!
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46. Pappu: Look into m~y eyes, you see something?
47. Girlfriend: I see true love...
48. Pappu: O Juliet ki Maa, Kuchh Aankh Mein Chala Gaya Hai, Jaldi Nikaal!
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51.   Teacher: In 1940, what ~were the Poles doing in Russia?
52. Pappu: Holdin' up the telephone lines!
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54. Teacher: You haven't listened to a word I've said. Are you having trouble hearing?
55. Pappu: No, ma'm. I'~m having trouble listening!
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57. Santa: What's going on at neighbours?
58. Pappu: It's someone's birthday.
59. Santa: Whose?
60. Pappu: Tu~yu's!
61. Santa: Tuyu?
62. Pappu: Yes. I heard them distinctly singing in chorus, "Happy Birthday Tuyu!"
63. PAPPU / SANTA~BANTA  79
64. Pappu: Dad, I want an iPhone 5.
65. Santa: Look at my hand... how many fingers I have?
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67. Teacher: As a result of "Global warming", our next generation will not able to see 'Tigers'.
68. Pappu: So what do we do? We never complain that we don't see 'Dinosaurs'!
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70. Pappu: Did you know that the most intelligent kid in our class is deaf?
71. Girl: That is unfortu~nate.
72. Pappu: What did you say?
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74. Jeeto: Why did you p~ut a frog in your sister's bed?
75. Pappu: I couldn't find a spider!
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77. Pappu: I read someth~ing the other day that made me piss myself.
78. Bunty: What was it?
79. Pappu: It was a sign that said, "Bathroom closed"!
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81. Teacher: Who was Akbar?
82. Pappu: Akbar was Gay.
83. Teacher: Wha~t? Are you mad? Why did you say that?
84. Pappu: We have heard about Laila-Majnu, Heer-Ranjha, Sohni-Mahiwal and even Romeo-Juliet who were all different gender couples; but Akbar-Birbal!
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88. Pappu: Why do couples ho~ld hands during their wedding?
89. Jeeto: It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins.
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91. Pappu: My parents told met to stop watching so much TV, and read more.
92. Bunty: So what did ~you do?
93. Pappu: I turned on the subtitles!
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95. Pappu: My gir~lfriend is like iPhone 6?
96. Bunty: That's weird. We don't have anything beyond iPhone 5 in the market.
97. Pappu: Yeah! Mine is also still to be launched!
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99. Santa: What happened to your half-yearly result?
100. Pappu: Dad, there's one good news and one bad news.
101. Santa: Good news first?
102. Pappu: I passed th~e exams.
103. Santa: And the bad news?
104. Pappu: The good news is wrong!
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106. Jeeto to her son, P~appu, "Did you put fresh water into the goldfish bowl?"
107. Pappu: No, they haven't finished the old water yet!
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109. Pappu: I have been frantically looking for a girl called 'Gillette'.
110. Bunty: Wh~y?
111. Pappu: I heard it on television, that she's the best a man can get!
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113. Pappu: My neighbours loved the music a lot, that I played last night.
114. Bunty: How can you say that?
115. Pappu: When I turned it up, they in~vited the police to listen to it!
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117. One day in class, the teacher ass~igned his students to write a composition - If I were a Manager!
118. All the students began to write except Pappu. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
119. Pappu replied, "I am waiting for my secretary"!
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121. Teacher: Why there are different types of blood group?
122. Pappu: So that the m~osquitoes can enjoy different flavours!
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124. Santa: Look~ at neighbour's daughter, she got top position in her board exams.
125. Pappu: I failed because I kept looking at her