Happy Divorce Quotes New 2017


  • Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. ~ P.J. O’Rourke

  • “Bad divorce?” Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip. “No, the divorce was great,” I said. “It was the marriage that sucked.” ~ Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

  • “There is no better manager th~an a natural born one.” ~ Rossana
  • Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. ~ Mary Kay Blakely

  • I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. ~ Unknown

  • My husband and I have never considered divorce. Murder sometimes, but never divorce. ~ Joyce Brothers

  • Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

  • GROUCHO MARX

  • Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.~ Robin Williams
  • In every marriage more th~an a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find and continue to find grounds for marriage. ~ Robert Anderson

  • Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. ~ P.J. O’Rourke

  • “Bad divorce?” Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip. “No, the divorce was great,” I said. “It was the marriage that sucked.” ~ Lisa Kleypas, Blue-Eyed Devil

  • Happy divorce quotes
  • Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.~ Robin Williams

  • A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. ~ Jean Kerr

  • Whoever said Marriage is a 50-50 proposition laid the foundation for more divorce fees than any other short sentence in our language. ~ Austin Elliot

  • She cried—and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. ~ Tommy Manville

  • A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book. ~ Marvin Mitchelson
  • A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there’s less of you.

  • Quotes about divorce and starting over
  • MARGARET ATWOOD, Time Magazine, Mar. 19, 1973

  • Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage.

  • TERTULLIAN, Apologeticus

  • The happiest time of anyone’s life is just after the first divorce.

  • JOHN KENNETH GALBRAITH

  • For a couple with young children, divorce seldom comes as a “solution” to stress, only as a way to end one form of pain and accept another.

  • FRED ROGERS, Mister Rogers Talks With Parents

  • Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.

  • MARY KAY BLAKELEY, American Mom

  • Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

  • ZSA ZSA GABOR

  • Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers.

  • GERALD F. LIEBERMAN, attributed, Divorce: It’s All About Control

  • Good divorce quotes
  • In our family we don’t divorce our men — we bury them.

  • RUTH GORDON

  • When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

  • HELEN ROWLAND, A Guide to Men

  • I’ve given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can’t divorce a book.

  • GLORIA SWANSON, New York Times, Mar. 10, 1979

  • Any woman who votes for no-fault divorce is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving.

  • PAT ROBERTSON, The 700 Club

  • If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don’t blame the women’s movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.

  • BETTY FRIEDAN, speech, Jan. 20, 1974

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  • Divorce is like death without a burial.

  • I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.

  • SUSAN B. ANTHONY, The Life and Work of Susan B. Anthony

  • The possibility of divorce renders both marriage partners stricter in their observance of the duties they owe to each other. Divorces help to improve morals and to increase the population.

  • DENIS DIDEROT, Observations on the Drawing Up of Laws

  • Marriage problems are relationship problems, they are the result of how two people interact with each other. You may abandon a troubled marriage, but you will still bring the way you interact with others along with you.

  • MARK GUNGOR, Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

  • There is a rhythm to the ending of a marriage just like the rhythm of a courtship–only backward. You try to start again but ~get into blaming over and over. Finally you are both worn out, exhausted, hopeless. Then lawyers are called in to pick clean the corpses. The death has occurred much earlier.

  • ERICA JONG, How To Save Your Own Life

  • A society’s apprehensiveness about divorce is an expression of its fear of change and of its resulting desire that person~ality remain unvarying.

  • ELSIE CLEW PARSONS, Fear and Conventionality

  • Divorce is an embarrassing public admission of defeat.

  • TRACY LETTS, August: Osage Country

  • Divorce is one of the most stressful life events anyone goes through. Only the loss of a loved one and moving are even in its class, difficulty-w~ise–and divorcing generally involves both of those as well. Even when you are the one initiating the divorce, the enormous changes that result are bound to throw you off and leave you feeling, at the very least,~ a bit lost.

  • EMILY DOSKOW, Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce

  • Divorce is a failed challe~nge, which leads to a broken life. It is a socially transmittable disease that can transfer from one generation to another, and it is spreading fast.

  • SIA F. DEAN, Divorce Is Not an Answer

  • Grown-ups are worried that they’re going to ruin their children’s lives, but divorce is just a life experience and you lea~rn from it.

  • EVAN STERN, Divorce Is Not the End of the World

  • The thing that experts agree on is that~ although divorce is difficult and stressful for kids no matter what, the real harm to kids comes from being subjected to conflict between parents. The longer that lasts, and the more severe it is, the worse it is for your children. If you truly want to shield your children from the pain of divorce, recognize that the more you take the high road with your spouse, the better job you’ll do.

  • Famous quotes on divorce
  • EMILY DOSKOW, Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce

  • I’ve been through divorce and will always be a “divorced kid”…. For me, my parent’s divorce was hard at first, but I overcame my sadness and my fears about it. I know that my parents are happier apart. And I’m happy with the way things are, too…. Divorce can sometimes be for the better. You may end up with happier parents, and you will definitely learn a lot about yourself! And that’s the whole point of growing up. So if you think about it, there are reasons to be happy about this experience, if you can learn and grow from it.

  • ZOE STERN, Divorce Is Not the End~ of the World

  • Asking the legal system to resolve divorce is like asking a boxing coach to be our marriage counselor.

  • WARREN FARRELL, foreward, Make Any Divorce Better

  • Many divorces are not really the result of irreparable injury but involve, instead, a desire on the part of the man or woman to shatter the setup, start out from scratch alone, and make life work for them all over again. They want the risk of disaster, want to touch bottom, see where bottom is, and, coming up, to breathe the air with relief and relish again.

  • EDWARD HOAGLAND, Red Wolves and Black Bears

  • No matter how you slice it, divorce is expensive and time-consuming. The most important variable is how well you and your spouse are able to put aside your anger and grief and cooperate on the big issues of money and children. The better you are at working together to make decisions for your changing family structure, the better for your bank account and for your chances of emerging from the divorce with a decent relationship with your ex.

  • EMILY DOSKOW, Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce
  • Thank God you can flee, can escape from that massy five-foot-thick maggot-cheesy solidarity which overlays the earth, in which men and women in couples are ranked like ninepins.

  • WILLIAM FAULKNER, Absalom, Absalom!

  • Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

  • EVAN ESAR,

  • Gone is the idea that you know where you are headed, that you know who your friends are, that you know who you are. To get divorced is to feel entirely~ lost on streets that you could once navigate with your eyes closed. The past feels cut off, across a divide, barely visible behind you.

  • TOVA MIRVIS,

  • Let’s be blunt: If you hire a divorce lawyer today, there is a good chance you will hire a bankruptcy lawyer ~within two or three years. ~ Gene Meyer

  • Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing. ~ Craig Ferguson

  • In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. ~ Garry Trudeau

  • The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. ~ Johnny Carson

  • My mother always said don’t marry for money, divorce for money. ~ Wendy Liebman

  • “I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I’m not saying don’t get married. If you meet somebody, fall in love and get married. Then get divorced. Because that’s the best part. Divorce is forever! It really actually is. Marriage is for how long you can hack it. But divorce just gets stronger like a piece of oak. Nobody ever says ‘oh, my divorce is falling apart, it’s over, I can’t take it.'”
  • Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. ~ Shinichi Suzuki

  • Instead of getting married again, I’m just going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. ~ Lewis Grizzard

  • You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they’re worth it. ~ Henny Youngman

  • If you think you have trouble supporting a wife, try not supporting her. ~ Unknown

  • It was one of those ridiculous ar~rangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~~ John Irving

  • You don’t know a women till you’ve met her in court. ~ Norman Mailer
  • Americans, who make more of m~arrying for love than any other people, also break up more of their marriages, but the figure reflects not so much the failure of love as the determination of people not to live without it. ~ Morton Hunt

  • Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money, and divorce a matter of course. ~ Helen Rowland

  • Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel. ~ Brian Celio

  • When two divorced people marry, four people get into bed. ~ Jewish Proverb

  • I try not to think of divorce as failing at marriage but rather winning at bitterness and resentment. ~ Unknown

  • Dealing with divorce quotes
  • I look at divorce this way: it’s better to have loved and lost, then to live with that bitch for the rest of my life. ~ Steve McGrew

  • Just another of our many disagreements. He wants a no-fault divorce, whereas I would prefer to have the bastard crucified. ~ J. B. Handelsman

  • I can’t get divorced because I’m a Catholic. Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended. ~ Lenny Clarke

  • A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table. ~ Jean Kerr

  • In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. ~ Garry Trudeau

  • The difference between a divorce and a leg~al separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. ~ Johnny Carson

  • Instead of getting married again, I’m just going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house. ~ Lewis Grizzard

  • You know why divorces are so expensive? Because they’re worth it. ~ Henny Young man

  • If you think you have trouble supporting a wife, try not supporting her. ~ Unknown

  • It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced—when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination. ~ John Irving

  • You don’t know a woman till you’ve met her in court. ~ Norman Mailer

  • Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money, and divorce a matter of course. ~ Helen Rowland

  • I look at divorce this way: it’s better to have loved and lost, than to live with that bitch for the rest of my life. ~ Steve McGrew

  • I can’t get divorced because I’m a Catholic. Catholics don’t get divorced. They stay together through anger and hatred and festering misery, just like God intended. ~ Lenny Clarke

  • Divorces are made in heaven. ~ Oscar Wilde

  • funny divorce quotes jokes
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  • Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones. ~ Joan Rivers

  • Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers. ~ Gerald F. Lieberman

  • Divorces are made in heaven. ~ Oscar Wilde

  • Half of all marriages end in divo~rce—and then there are the really unhappy ones. ~ Joan Rivers

  • Divorce is a declaration of independence with only two signers. ~ Gerald F. Lieberman

  • If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

  • When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they “don’t understand” one another, but a sign that they have~, at last, begun to. ~ Helen Rowland

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