comedy shayari new2017

• Usko apne pyar ka izhaar karu kaise…
• Usko apne p~yar ka izhaar karu kaise…
• Daya pata lagao, akhir ye khooon hua kaise...
• shukriya shukriya….
• .............................................................................
•  
• Bahar kuch mara hai, billi hai ya chuha hai…
• Bahar ~kuch mara hai, billi hai ya chuha hai…
• Abhijeet khoon isi gun se hua hai!!!
• wah wah…
• wah wah…
•  .............................................................................
• Meri gardan me dard aur gale me kharash hai…
• Meri gardan me d~ard aur gale me kharash hai…
• Oh my God daya, yaha pe ek laash hai...
• .............................................................................
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• Gaur farmaiyega…
• Bada hi naazuk sher hai…
• Mere labrador kutte ka naam hai rooney….
• Mere la~brador kutte ka naam hai rooney….
• Abhijeet, yahi hai wo asli khuni!!!
• wah wah…..
• mashalla….
•  .............................................................................
• Ek aur pesh karte hai…
• Devdas ki maut ki wajah thi paro…
• Devdas ~ki maut ki wajah thi paro…
• Daya ghar ka kona kona chan maro...
• .............................................................................
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• Ful khile baharo me ghata cha gayi….
• Ful khile ~baharo me ghata cha gayi….
• Dr. Salunke kya post mortem ki report aa gayi...
• .............................................................................
•  
• Ek akhari arz karta hu…
• Mere gh~ar k piche ek naala hai…
• wah wah..
• Mere ghar k piche ek naala hai…
• Abhijeet, daal me zarur kuch kala hai...
• .............................................................................
• Woh mangti thee mein deta na tha
• JAWAB USS K SAWAAL KA
• Uss ne m~anga to khara ho gya
• RONGATA MERAY JAZBAT KA
• Mein ne diya to chout gya
• PHOOL HATHOON SE GULAB KA
•  .............................................................................
• Kuch log thodi der karte hain
• Kuch lo!g 2-3 dafa karte hain,
• aur kuch saari raat karte rahate hain,
• tab jaakar hota hai
• unka
• .............................................................................
•  
• U picked me u~p,U took me home,
• U put ur hands around my waist,
• U took off my top,then U put ur lips om mine.
• THANK GOD im a bottle of PEPSI.
•  .............................................................................
• Mangta hoon to deti nahi,
• jawaab mere sawaal ka…….
• Deti hai to khada ho jata hai,
• rome rome jazbaat ka……….
• Kehta hoon use aise na andar rakho,
• yun jawaab sawaal ka………
• Wo kehti hai pehle tum dikhao,
• Rukh apni baat ka……..
• Kal sham! ko jab kar rahe the sath mein,
• kaam apne office ka…..
• Khul gaya achanak uske aankhon ke samne,
• bhed coding logic ka…….
• Ishara karke kehti hai pakadane ko mujhko,
• garam cup coffee ka..
• Aur khu!d pakad leti hai mera…
• thanda glass juice ka….
• Sochta hoon aaj bahon mein pakad ke daal hi doon,
• baloon mein phool gulab ka…
• Dalte hi gir jata hai,
• patta patta gulab ka…!
•  .............................................................................
• .............................................................................
• Skin meets Skin
• When is that
• the skin meets skin,
• hair~ meets hair
• n balls disappear..
• dirty mind
• its when
• u BLINK UR EYES
•  .............................................................................
• Do you Know?
• Kuss aur LUN kisy kehte hain?
• Bad!-MIND:-
• Kuss RUSSIAN main LIFE ko….
• AUR
• LUN French me HAPPY ko kehte hain……
• so ap ki KUSS main LUN aaty rahen……
•  
• .............................................................................
• Laut Jaati ~Hai Duniya Gham Hamara Dekh Kar;
• Jaise Laut Jaati Hai Lehren Kinara Dekh Kar;
• Aap Kandha Na Dena Mere Janaze Ko;
• Kahin Phir Zinda Na Ho Jaoon Aapka Bhosda Dekh Kar!
•  .............................................................................
• Koun Kehta Hai Ki Lund Yahan Mutneko Aata Hai,
• Woh To Chut Ki Yaad Me Aansu Bahane Aata Hai!
•  .............................................................................
• “Umar ki Raah Mein Insaan Badal jaatein Hain,
• Waqt ki aandhi me~in tufaan badal jaatein hain,
• Kasoor mera nahi , AE parda Nashien !!
• Husn ko Dekhkar Imaan badal Jatein hain.”
•  .............................................................................
• Zindagi jaise ek sazaa si ho gayi hai,
• Gham ke sagar mein kuch is kadar kho gayi hai,
• Tum aajao waapis !yeh guzaarish hai meri,
• Shayad mujhe tumhaari aadat si ho gayi hai.
•  .............................................................................
• Chaandni Raat Thee , Woh Mere Saath Thee;
• Main Usske Upar Thaa, Woh Mere Niche Thee;
• Haathoon Me They~ Haath , Aur Paeron Main Paaer;
• Main Zor Lagaa Rhaa Thaaa, Woh Awaaz Kar Rahi Theeeeee;
• Woh Meri Cycle Theeee!
•  .............................................................................
• Ye Waqt Nahin Hai Rone Ka,
• Ye Waqt Hai Bacha Hone Ka,
• Uss Waqt Ky!un Nahin Royi Thi,
• Jab Chipak Ke Mujhse Soyee Thi,
• Aab Jo Kiya Hai Wo Bharo,
• Tab To Kehti Thi Aur Karo Aur Karo!
•  .............................................................................
• Na Teer Na Talwaar,
• Agar Mujhse ~Hai Pyaar,
• To Khol Apni Salwaar,
• Mera Shastra Hai Taiyaar,
• Houngaa Tujhpe Sawaar,
• Jaldi Se Apni Chadhi Utaar,
• Teri Bharni Hai Daraar!
•  .............................................................................
• Chaku Se Kya Kaat Ti Ho, Dhaar To Talwar Me Hai;
• Chaku Se Kya K~aat Ti Ho Dhaar To Talvar Me Hai;
• Dupatte Se Kya Dhaak Ti Ho, Maal To Salwar Me Hai!
•  .............................................................................
• Dosti to sirf eak ittephak hai,
• Ye to ~dilo ki mulaqat hai
• Dosti nahi dekhti ke ye din he ki raat hai,
• Aise mein to sirf wafadari aur jazbaat hai.
•  .............................................................................
• Gum ki aanch per anshun ubal kar dekho,
• rang ban j~aynge kisi per dal kar dekho,
• Tumhare seene ki jalan cum hogi jaroor,
• kisi ke pawon se kanta nikal kar dekho.
•  .............................................................................
• Kehne ko toa~ kichar me bhi ham kamal khila de ,
• Magar kuch soch ke ruk jaate hain .
• Tum kanto me jeene ki baat karte ho,
• Hum to kaanto ko bhi phool bana dete hain.
•  .............................................................................
• Usne ~mehndi laga rakhi thi ,
• Hamne uski doli utha rakhi thi ,
• Hame maloom tha ke vo bewafa niklegi ,
• Isliye hamne uski behen pata rakhi thi….
•  .............................................................................
• Kya hua jo usne racha li mehndi,
• Hamm bhi aab sehra sajayenge,
• Mujhe ptta t~ha ke vo aapne naseeb main nhi hai,
• Ab uski chotti behen ko fasayenge…..
•  .............................................................................
• Khayal ko kissi aahat ki aas rehti hai,
• Nigah ko kissi~ soorat ki talash rehti hai,
• Tere bin koi kami toa nhi hai dost,
• Bass gali waali jamadarni udhas rehti hai…
•  .............................................................................
• Jawani ke din chamkile hon gaye,
• husn ke~ tever nokile ho gaye,
• faisla lene me itne dhile ho gaye,
• ki unke haath peele ho gaye….
•  .............................................................................
• Wo chham chham kar ke aayi
• wo chham ~chham kar ke chali gayi
• main sindoor le kar khada tha
• wo rakhi bandh kar chali gayi..
•  .............................................................................
• Log ruthkar rah jaatein hai,
• Dil ki baat dil mein daba jaate hain,
• Zamana teji ka hai,
• Phir kyon~ nahin aeroplane si udaan bharte hain!
• Kalam se khat par leekh kar kabootar udaana hua ab poorana,
• Sonchtein hain yeh to zamana hua deewana!
•  .............................................................................
• Pani Ma~in Tairna machali ka style
• Hawa me udna panchi ka style
• Different msgs bhejna FANNAH ka style
• Fukat ka msg padhna aur fwd karna aapka style .
•  .............................................................................
• Jab bhi hota hain deedar,
• dil dhadak~ta hai baar baar,
• par yeh sochkar kehte hain,
• ki kab chukaaoge mera uddhaar…
•  .............................................................................
• Humne bhi kabhi pyar kiya tha,
• thoda nai besumar kiya tha,
• dil tut kar~ reh gaya,
• jab usne kaha,aree Maine to Majak kiya tha…
•  .............................................................................
• Sher Sunaata hoon zara ghor se suno,
• Main Sh~er Sunaata hoon zara ghor se suno,
• Ja mein nahi sunata kisi our se suno …
•  
• .............................................................................
• Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
• Begana kaho ~ya deewana,
• Suno is dil ka fasana,
• Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana..
•  .............................................................................
• Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai
• Kuch nasha ~to dheemi barsaat ka hai
• Hame aap yuhi sharabi na kahiye,
• Yeh dil par asar to aapse mulaqat ka hai.
•  .............................................................................
• Chand adhura hai sitaro ke bina,
• gulshan adhura hai bahaaro ke bina,
• samundar a~dhura hau kinaro ke bina,
• jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina!!!
•  .............................................................................
• Shayar ~hoon arj karta hoon shayari
• Sunlo itni bhi nahi hi buri
• Varna murder kardoonga mere paas hai churi…
•  .............................................................................
• Yeh exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
• Sab apne~ apne naseeb hote hai,
• Rahte hai jo nigaho se duur,
• Saale wahi question compulsary hote hai.
•  .............................................................................
• Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
• jisko dhoond rah~ein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
• firte hain vo jamaane ki talaash mein,
• bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta!!!
•  .............................................................................
• Dil se kabhi mujhe yaad kiya karo,
• Itna gair na sam~jho call nahi toa atleast
• Miss call toa kar liya karo
•  .............................................................................
• Zindagi me~in tum iss tarah jaise ki bahar aayi
• Pyar iss tarah kiya ki gulzar aayi
• Khush hum aise huae ki jaise basant ki fuhar aayi
• Tumne dhokha iss tarah diya ki dil mai heartattack aayi
•  .............................................................................
• Socha tha har modd pe tumhara intezar karenge,
• Socha tha har mo~dd pe tumhara intezar karenge,
• Magar kambakhat sali sadak hi seedhi nikli.
•  .............................................................................
• Itna khusnasib to hum na the
• Hamari taqdia mai sitam kam na the
• Fir kyo hum k~uda ko itna bha gye
• ki Banakar Dost aap Hamare zindgi me aa gaye
• .............................................................................
• baari barsi khatan gaya c
• main kiha baari barsi khatan gay c
• te khat ke liande kele
• bote te chadh de da
• mera chain vich fass gaya pauncha
•  .............................................................................
• kaash un hassenaon k baap mar jaate
• hum bhi afsos k bahane gale mil aate
• fir socha ae dil aisa sochna paap hai
• ek din tujhe bhi banna kissi haseena ka baap hai
•  .............................................................................
• Tere sapno wich aake tenu satavaga
• tu ruth vi jayegi ta~ tenu manavaga
• man javi aae sanam mere manane se
• warna akhna vich anshu leke main kithe jawaga…
•  .............................................................................
• Mein jism hega tu ruh hegi meri
• dil hega m~era dhadkan hegi teri
• pyaar kardi hegi merenaal ta dasdi kyu ni
• kyu kardi hegi batan vich inni deri…
•  .............................................................................
• Twada saya banke twada sath nibha waga
• tu jithe vi jayegi tere piche aavaga
• saya ta chadd ja~nda hega sath andhere wich
• lekin main andhere wich twada ujala ban jawaga…
•  .............................................................................
• Twada andaj dil nu chu jan wala hega
• sada dil twade dil nal mil jan wala hega
• rakhi khula ap~ne dil de darwaje nu
• sada khyal twade dil vich aan wala hega..
•  .............................................................................
• Us pal n~u sanjoo kar rakhya hega
• jado mere hath nu tera hath milya
• khush kismat hega main is jahan vich
• jo meinu jindagi vich tera sath milya…
•  .............................................................................
• Aksar Lok Eh Puchde Ne,
• Tera Mera Ki Rishta ?
• Main Aksar Ehi Khenda Haan,
• Jo Rab Ne Banaya,
• Ohi Sahamne Aaya.
• .............................................................................
• Wo chham chham kar ke aayi
• wo chham chham kar ke chali gayi
• main sindoor le kar khada tha
• wo rakhi bandh kar chali gayi..
• ............................................................................. 
• Log ruthkar rah jaatein hai,
• Dil ki baat dil mein daba jaate hain,
• Zamana teji ka hai,
• Phir kyon nahin aeroplane si udaan bharte hain!
• Kalam se khat par leekh~ kar kabootar udaana hua ab poorana,
• Sonchtein hain yeh to zamana hua deewana!
•  .............................................................................
• Pani Main Tairna ~machali ka style
• Hawa me udna panchi ka style
• Different msgs bhejna FANNAH ka style
• Fukat ka msg padhna aur fwd karna aapka style .
•  .............................................................................
• Khayal ko kissi aahat ki aas rehti hai,
• Nigah ko kissi soora~t ki talash rehti hai,
• Tere bin koi kami toa nhi hai dost,
• Bass gali waali jamadarni udhas rehti hai…
•  .............................................................................
• Jawani ke din chamkile hon gaye,
• husn ke tever nokile ho gaye,
• faisla lene~ me itne dhile ho gaye,
• ki unke haath peele ho gaye….
•  .............................................................................
• Jab bhi hota hain deedar,
• dil dhadakta~ hai baar baar,
• par yeh sochkar kehte hain,
• ki kab chukaaoge mera uddhaar…
•  .............................................................................
• Humne bhi kabhi pyar kiya tha,
• thoda nai besumar kiya tha,
• dil tut kar reh gaya,
• jab usne kaha,aree Maine to Majak kiya tha…
•  .............................................................................
• Sher Sunaata hoon zara ghor se suno,
• Main Sher Suna~ata hoon zara ghor se suno,
• Ja mein nahi sunata kisi our se suno …
•  .............................................................................
• Kehne ko toa kichar me bhi ham kamal khila de ,
• Magar kuch soc~eene ki baat karte ho,
• Hum to kaanto ko bhi phool bana dete hain.
•  .............................................................................
• Usne mehndi laga rakhi thi ,
• Hamne uski doli ~utha rakhi thi ,
• Hame maloom tha ke vo bewafa niklegi ,
• Isliye hamne uski behen pata rakhi thi….
•  .............................................................................
• Kya hua jo usne racha li mehndi,
• Hamm b~hi aab sehra sajayenge,
• Mujhe ptta tha ke vo aapne naseeb main nhi hai,
• Ab uski chotti behen ko fasayenge…..
• .............................................................................
• 
  
• Wo chham chham kar ke aayi
• wo chham chham kar ke chali gayi
• main sindoor le kar khada tha
• wo rakhi bandh kar chali gayi..
•  .............................................................................
• Log ruthkar rah jaatein hai,
• Dil ki baat dil mein daba jaate hain,
• Zamana teji ka hai,
• Phir kyon nahin aeroplane si udaan bharte hain!
• Kala~m se khat par leekh kar kabootar udaana hua ab poorana,
• Sonchtein hain yeh to zamana hua deewana!
•  .............................................................................
• Pani Main Tairna machali ka style
• Hawa me udna p~hejna FANNAH ka style
• Fukat ka msg padhna aur fwd karna aapka style .
•  .............................................................................
• Khayal ko kissi aahat ki aas rehti hai,
• Nigah ko kissi soorat ki talash rehti hai,
• Tere bin k~oi kami toa nhi hai dost,
• Bass gali waali jamadarni udhas rehti hai…
•  .............................................................................
• Jawani ke din chamkile hon gaye,
• husn ke tever nokile ho gaye,
• faisla lene me~ itne dhile ho gaye,
• ki unke haath peele ho gaye….
•  .............................................................................
• Jab bhi hota hain deedar,
• dil dhadakta hai baar baar,
• par yeh sochkar kehte hain,
• ki kab chukaaoge mera uddhaar…
•  .............................................................................
• Humne bhi kab~hi pyar kiya tha,
• thoda nai besumar kiya tha,
• dil tut kar reh gaya,
• jab usne kaha,aree Maine to Majak kiya tha…
•  .............................................................................
• Sher Sunaata hoon zara ghor se suno,
• Main Sher Suna~ata hoon zara ghor se suno,
• Ja mein nahi sunata kisi our se suno …
•  .............................................................................
• Kehne ko toa kichar me bhi ham kamal khila de ,
• Magar kuch soch ke~ ruk jaate hain .
• Tum kanto me jeene ki baat karte ho,
• Hum to kaanto ko bhi phool bana dete hain.
•  .............................................................................
• Usne mehndi laga rakhi thi ,
• Hamne uski doli ~utha rakhi thi ,
• Hame maloom tha ke vo bewafa niklegi ,
• Isliye hamne uski behen pata rakhi thi….
•  .............................................................................
• Kya hua jo usne racha li mehndi,
• Hamm bhi aab sehra sajayenge,
• Mujhe ptta tha ke vo aapne naseeb main nhi hai,
• Ab uski ch~otti behen ko fasayenge